Month: August 2023

Keep going.

Keep going. Even, when it’s hard. Especially, when it’s hard. https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cvmc4YwIamu/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Keep going.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I don’t want to which is why I am going to.

I don’t want to do this week.

Which is why I am starting it.

I don’t want to walk through this week, pretending to look forward to Year 7 of mom’s birthday, without mom.

Which is why I am going to walk, this morning, talk to mom and love her in this, my new normal, without her.

Fresh hell.

Yet, my heart is filled with joy.

Why?

Because, I am alive.

Still.

Even when it hurts.

Especially when it hurts.

It’s supposed to storm again, all morning.

Just as well.

Heaven can add it’s tears, to mine.

Usually, I walk for folk who just can’t walk for whatever reason.

This morning, I walk for me.

I am not strong.

Mom, I simply do not know if I can do THIS day without you…

trying,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: ❤️‍🩹

Be encouraged.

Be encouraged. Stay in the fight. I love you. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvlnPI3o8OS/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Nuff said.

Cassandra

P.S. 💋♥️😆

Note: Be encouraged, okay? Asking for A Friend. 🙏💯👋

It’s okay to not be okay.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvkSxxJoEyV/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Okay?

Cassandra ❤

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Heart ❤ check: Not okay, but that’s okay.

Good morning, beloveds. Just checking on you.

It’s hot.

I’m tired.

After days and days of heat advisory over 100, with ‘feel like temps’ of 105 to 110, my feels are feeling like running away from home. I didn’t.

Work has been, well, work. Have been voluntold, again, to do something especially hard and it has been, well, especially hard. I kept telling the trainer I didn’t, well, understand. She said she understood. She didn’t.

I reached out, to my leadership, letting them know how much I appreciated this one and that one. They never responded or reached back. I felt like an idiot. I told one, I felt like an idiot. Telling folk, how much I cared. Only, it appeared no one cared back. She said folk were in meetings and really liked what I shared but no one shared that with me. She said this to make me feel better. I didn’t.

I tapped out. Of the shift. Of the rest of the day. I was fasting. Til 3. It was only 2. Angrily, I stomped to the kitchen. I snatched the tail ends of some mini chocolate donuts. I raged. To the freezer. I whipped out some put away cheetos. Dammit, I was going to break my fast. An hour early.

“What good is my fasting doing? What good are MY words doing? What the fresh hell am I forever reaching out to a world who could give two damns about me?”

This, my words, to myself. I wasn’t talking to God or Life or The Universe. Just too damned embarrassed from being ghosted by the world, yet again. Dammit that hurts. EVERY time.

I looked at the donuts. The donuts looked at me. I cried. I sighed. I told donuts I would see them at 3. I made a promise. I kept it. I no longer allow life disappointments to give me an excuse to disappoint myself with comfort eating or things that don’t or won’t serve me.

Instead, I lay in the dark. I let my heart, well, hurt. She wasn’t ok. I wasn’t ok. And, that’s perfectly ok.

That was yesterday. Today, it’s hot. I’m tired. It’s stormy. I don’t feel like going out for my walk. I’m fixing to get ready to go for my walk.

I’m not using commas like I ought. A deliberate decision. I’m rebelling against the notion I ought to. Why? Cuz, I’m not quite okay. Ok? And, that’s okay. To not be okay until you are ok enough to use commas and okays any old way you please.

How are YOU?

I’m going to keep on asking.

I’m going to keep on believing.

I’m going to keep on reaching.

Up.

Out.

Loud.

Unapologetic.

Reach with me.

The world may ghost.

So what?

Who cares?

You do.

I do.

It’s a start.

We are enough.

Remember alway:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

caring/loving you still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

Breathless.

My heart is breathless. ♥

Shimmering, with anticipation.

Breathe held, excitedly.

Ready.

To take the plunge.

From where?

From how high?

I know not.

I just know my heart trusts. ♥️

I am safe.

To, jump.

To, dive in.

To, live.

To, laugh.

To, love.

I, do.

Ah.

It sounds like a nuptial is about to begin.

Here, I am.

Right now.

Ready.

Trusting.

Without seeing.

The outcome.

Why?

Why not?

Breathless.

Here I go!

*Cassandra flings herself right into…*

here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

Note: Life is short. Live. Take a breath and dive in…🥰💃🤣❤

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

No longer chasing tomorrow.

No longer.

No longer, do I chase down tomorrow.

I’m too busy enjoying my today.

No longer.

No longer, do I wonder what tomorrow holds.

I’m too busy devouring ALL of THIS day.

THIS, this day, that God made, just for me.

THIS day. Not someday. Not somewhere.

I am here.

Right now.

Living.

My best life.

Being.

My best self.

Right now.

Somehow, I have stumbled upon the secret of life:

This is the day that the Lord has made. We DHll rejoice and be glad in it.

I am glad in THIS day.

Here.

Today.

No longer chasing tomorrow.

I live.

With intention.

Today.

living outloud,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

Note: I find myself super excited about today. Why?Because, today, holds promises of which I know not. Because, today, has millions of mysteries, yet to be discovered. Because, today, contains tests and trials that will test and try me and cause me to try, harder. Because. Because. Because!🤗

One step.

One step.

One step.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

Here.

I am HERE.

I am no longer trying to get THERE.

I am HERE.

Right where God called me to be.

I rest HERE.

I am not restless, trying to get THERE.

Not anymore.

My gaze, no longer, longer for another sunrise. I am enjoying HERE, NOW, every second of THIS day.

I am HERE.

HERE!

Here I am, God.

Ready, to go, wherever YOU need me to go/be.

Here I am, Life.

Ready, to run, wherever YOU need me to go/be.

Here I am, Universe.

Ready, to walk, wherever and for whomever YOU need me to go/be.

I am HERE.

Right here.

Right now.

Here.

Now.

Living, with intention.

Loving, with gusto.

Joyful.

Hopeful.

Believing.

Here, I shall plant my 🚩 flag.

Here, I shall live, move and have my being.

Here, I shall.

Ah.

Aha!

here,

Cassandra

YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

Note: Enjoy your here. Enjoy your now. Noa. It’s all we have. Go on, now, beloveds. 🥰

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

Relentless: Use your 📦 packaging for your good.

My 📦 packages arrived!

Yay!

Hurriedly, I tore into the packaging.

Books!

Devotionals!!

💃💋

I read.

I mooned.

I did not want to, mark up the pages.

Hhmm.

I needed, some 🔖 bookmarks.

Hhmm.

I had tossed the packaging. It WAS glossy and had a pretty, floral background.

Hhmm.

I ended up, cutting up, 😂 laughing. Then,…*shrug*…🤷‍♀️ cut up the packaging, into cute, pretty floral 🔖 bookmarks.

I say all that, beloveds, to say this:

Use, EVERYTHING, that happens, that has happened, that WILL happen, in your life.

Your, past. ALL of it. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Your, present. ALL of it. Your good, your bad, AND your ugly(ugliness).

The world wants to convince you that your 📦 packaging is plain, ordinary, old, tired, young, fat, skinny, broke, and a million other things that are NOT so.

No longer allow yourself, to allow yourself, to listen to all the world has said, about your packaging. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, beloveds.

You have made mistakes. Big ones. Hard ones. Mistakes, missteps, that made such a mess, you found yourself, lost.

Forgive, yourself.

Dust yourself, off.

Move, forward.

Relentless.

There is only ONE you.

Precious.

Priceless.

Loved.

Not alone.

Ah.

🤗

👣

One step.

One step.

One step.

All things work together for the good…

loving me some you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

Note: My wombie says I HAVE to have a note for EVERY piece. We argue ALL the time, about this. I tell her, I will NOT be confined to folks getting used to always having to have a note, at the end.

She contends, the notes are the most important parts, of the piece. I shoot back folks will get what they need. Or, not. Yet, I MUST keep on being and doing me, MY way. No longer do I, or can I, do, how and as, the world wants and expects me to.

Why? Because the world is in service, to itself. Not, you. Keep on being…YOU.

Happy wombie? Smh.

One step.

One step.

One step.

Relentless: No excuses now.

It’s hot.

I was tired.

I was enjoying the air-conditioner, after a hot, tiring walk.

I needed to showered.

I showered myself, with a nap, instead.

My dreams, woke me from my slumber, pointed towards the shower, as we needed to be about being about life, in just a little while.

Hot, tired, and tired of carrying my excuses around…

I dumped hot, tired, burdens, excuses and EVERYTHING keeping me down, holding me up, taking me away, from God’s, from Life’s, from The Universe’s, best for me, into the shower.

Ha!

You better ask somebody!

We got thangs, er, things to do!

doing them thangs/things🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

#HereForIt

#BeAboutBeingAboutIt