Month: August 2023

Be flexible: Boob carrier.

In my walking, I have to have somewhere to put my phone.

I have a super ugly, fanny pack, buried beneath something or other or this and that.

Crap!

Hhmm.

The dumb phone, er, I sowwy phone, has a string thingie handle but the dumb stringie handle thing is forever strangling my wrist which is forever after yelling at me for causing discomfort. I sowwy, wrist.

What did I end up doing with the phone? I put it in my boob carrier r of course!😂 The wonders as a wonder bra!🤣

Life is short. Use what you have. Learn to be flexible. You have all you need to succeed, to thrive.

Stop waiting, for the perfect moment.

Stop waiting, for the perfect thing.

Stop waiting.

Ah.

Aha!

Be encouraged.

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

https://gofund.me/efbe8c13

You are loved: Heart ♥ check.

You are loved. You are worth loving. You are worth knowing. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvtCBtLoMC0/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Beloveds, am soooooooooo full of love, just HAD to spill some on you.

Be encouraged.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Be flexible: Wrong order, right purpose.

I needed a new phone. The battery life of my old phone was getting too bad. I ordered a new phone. Of course they sent me the wrong phone.

Instead of stomping around and having a perfectly satisfying grown up temper tantrum, I considered what to do with the phone.

Instead of sending it back, I decided to use it as my internet phone. Now I have a phone strictly for surfing the internet and my blogging while using the other phone for business and relaxation.

By doing this I find that I have time to actually live and breathe in the real world. I am not forever attached to a phone with scrolling fingers.

I can actually use the phone as it was intended, originally, and actually have a phone conversation!

Who knew!?😳🥰

In times past, I would have had that adult tantrum and stomped and fussed and fumed about being sent the wrong phone.

I have done a lot of act right getting, here lately. I can’t help all others act in what they do. I do my work. I focus on me and how I can improve things and situations.

I make the conscious decision and effort to be kind and courteous. I do my best to make it right when my act right has not acted right and I have said or done something that was unkind or discourteous.

I have done a lot of repenting and apologizing with my family. I will be blogging more about this in the future but that here.

I’m doing my utmost to get my life clean and organized in every area. This is a slow process. I am in no hurry. Time is short. So I’m taking the time that I have to take my time to get things right as best as I can.

I’m learning to be more flexible with myself and others around me. I’m learning to be more flexible with the universe and all that is within it. I’m learning to be more flexible with work. I’m learning to be more flexible with my work.

The universe didn’t be a big favor when it sent me the wrong phone. Wrong order. Right purpose.

Be flexible with you. God is not done with you yet. Don’t give up on you. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t give up on your heart headed family. Don’t give up on your heart hit itself. Don’t give up on this hard world. Don’t give up. Period in end of story.

Being the end of THIS story, I shall flex my way up out of here. Don’t tell on me, incline may or may not be looking for me just now.

Shut up, stairs! Scuze me, beloveds.

*Cassandra tears outta the room, kicks in hot pursuit, Yikes! and Egads! bringing up the rear.*

Be encouraged.

You are loved.

You are not alone

Keep on being…YOU!

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

https://gofund.me/efbe8c13

So what?: Wash the dishes, Cassandra.

It was hot.

I was tired.

My feels and lazy did NOT want to wash the dishes.

Why?

It was hot.

I was tired.

What did I do?

I drug feels and lazy to the kitchen and did the dishes, of course.

I no longer allow myself to disrespect myself by not taking care of myself and my abode.

It’s amazing how much we do TO ourselves because of what has happened, to us, in the past or in the present. Why we beat ourselves, because of an unfair world, is baffling.

Yall, pardon me for speaking so truthfully, but the whole wide world of us, have been and acted like big dummies, when it comes to self care. We have treated strangers and enemies, better than we treat ourselves, at times.

Yikes!

Egads!

Life is short and I am doing my utmost to be my utmost for His Highest(love the devotional by the same name).

So, I am washing dishes, even when it’s hot and I am tired.

Now, I can enjoy the burnt cookies. Lemme tell you what had happened…

brb,

Cassandra

Getting your attention: Change your sheets, Cassandra.

😳

Okay, THAT wasn’t very nice.

*pout*

😥

😡

🤦‍♀️

🤷‍♀️

🤣

Me: Okay, so that wasn’t very nice.

God: You should have changed the sheets like you were supposed to…*shrug*.

*Gasping with indignity, Cassandra jumped from a perfectly comfy bed that was now full of ice water! In the dark, no less!!!*

NO idea I could move that fast, yall……hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

I had purchased some absoluely DIVINE, burgundy sheets. Gorgeous. Stunning. Only problem was they were California King and I have to fight for six months making up the bed, alone. So, of course, I was being too lazy to do the fighting so left them sitting, looking absolutely diving and stunning. And, yes, sheets kept glaring at me, fussing with me, hollering with me to get them on the bed, already! They were tired and ready to lay down.

Yikes! decided to help me out and dumped ice water ALL over me, my old sheets, my California King, and my now shivering dignity.

Apparently, ice water can help a sista make up a California King, quick, fast and in a hurry.

It was a nice reminder to go ahead and do what I know to do and not let lazy keep me lazy.

Life has a way of getting our attention, eh?

The more I learn, the more I see I have to learn. Translation: Do what you know to do. Don’t wait for inspiration to inspire. It’s often dead asleep, waiting for ice water to wake it up.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Shall I stop by with a nice tall glass of ice water? Asking for A Friend…

Don’t hide from whew!

Whew!

What a weekend. Would not wish it on an enemy.

Tears.

Tears.

Thoughts of binge eating.

Told those thoughts to kick rocks. I no longer allow tough times to give myself permission to be harmful to myself, by comfort eating, neglecting me time, and all the other things we tend to do, to ourselves, when we are really going through. Not sure where we got the okay that it’s okay to be mean, to ourselves, when we think life, circumstances or other things are being mean, to us…smh.

I thought I was just frustrated from work being work. Pulling the thread, I realized I was feeling a bit sad about mom. Not a lot. Okay, more than I cared to admit. Once I was honest, with me, I was able to process and be okay with not being okay.

Grief will sneak up on you and…

WHEW!

You find yourself okay, one second, then what the world was THAT, the next.

I am doing my utmost, to keep it moving, even when I don’t want to keep it moving, when it comes to grief/loss/tough circumstances.

I can admit to having a few temper tantrums, with God, Life and The Universe for being ‘unfair’ about this, that and the other thing.

I am hoping to save some folk, from wasting too much of life, having temper tantrums that do little more than rush us towards chocolate donuts and foolishness.

I mention these things for folk who may be struggling. I sure wish I had these words, years ago. It took years to snatch my heart from underneath mountains of grief and despair.

There IS healing/peace/love/joy, on the other side of losses where you think you will never be the same. In a way, you never will be the same. The rose-colored glasses, gets violently removed, when something/someone we love are suddenly removed.

I have found, Life had been holding onto my dreams, for me. I found, God/The Universe, had been holding onto my heart, for me. I was much, much too hurt, to take care. To take care of, those things. To take care, of me.

ALL I wanted to do was to stop the hurt, from hurting. I did not care how. I did not care, why. I honestly, did not want to care, period. Caring, about the lost love/situation/dream, just made the loss, that much hard, it seemed, to bear.

I ate my way through bags of chips. I dared not, drink too much. I had enough sense not to pour alcohol, on those wounds. Initially, I did. The first 11 days, after mom passed, I stayed rip roaring drunk. On day 12, I felt mom’s disapproving start. Sobered up. Promised her, and me, to not use alcohol, to quiet the hollering grief, raging through every area of my life/heart/mind/soul/spirit.

It took a while, quite some while, to claw my way, back to the sunshine. The sun, had been shining, the whole time. Hard to realize/understand, while being in the dark.

I just wanted to encourage someone(s), who may be hiding, in the dark. That’s okay. Just be sure not to hide, what you are going through. Let someone know, you are hurting. Your heart, matters. Your tears, matter. Your pain, matters. Time we all stop hiding, from ourselves, from God, from Life, from The Universe, from one another.

I think mom would be proud of me.

I’m okay, today. May not stay that way, leading up to her birthday. I am taking things, as they come. Loss is tough. The tough parts, come in waves. At least they have for me. I have made peace with the loss. Rather, I have made peace that my heart may not always be at peace, because of the loss(es).

Be encouraged, beloveds.

Life is good.

Even when it’s hard.

Especially when it’s hard.

The hard, forces us to keep TRYing. The hard, taunts us into moving forward. The hard, stops us from giving up/in. So long as we CHOOSE to embrace and deal with it. I thank God, for, the hard. Not, the loss. But, the hard, the loss has produced.

The hard, gives me the energy to try, just a little. Then, a bit more. Until, I find myself, on the other side of the dark.

Joy, shall come, beloveds.

Be encouraged.

I shall carry your heart, in my pocket, so I can keep you company, thorugh your hard. I shall put some fruit snacks and a good read, in there. Save some for me, eh? I may need some, tomorrow. I no longer chase tomorrow, though. Too much goodness to squeeze out of today.

joyfully sad,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s hard, oftentimes, to hear past roaring pain/hurt. If you are still, you can hear and feel, the quiet breeze of comfort, gently blowing all around you. Can you hear it? Can you feel it? I can. I do.

The best IS yet to come.

The best IS yet to come…for you. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvS_DZ6IVCZ/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Hang in there. It WILL be okay.

In the meantime, beloveds, don’t be ashamed of what you think is weakness. The strongest thing, you shall ever do is to present your tender heart ♥, to another.

You see, opening one’s heart, means making oneself vulnerable to being hurt. Hurt, hurts. No getting around that fact.

Yet, loving is soooooooooooooo amazing when loving without strings or conditions. It’s beautiful. It’s terrifyingly wonderful.

All our lives, our parents rush to keep us from harm:

Don’t touch the hot stove!

Don’t do THAT?!!!

OMG, don’t go THAT way?!

They mean well.

Or, some have had parents who seem to not care, or who did not care, or who abused. Or, worse, ghosted or were gone.

Whatever the case, we learned to forever live behind walls 🔐, closed 🚪 doors, fortresses, 🏰 castles, and all manner of protection. Just to keep the hurt out.

The awful truth, the TRUE crime, is we shut our beautiful and tender hearts out of the love that God, that Life, that The Universe, that family, that community, wanted and needed to give to us, our whole life long.

We learned to champion, applaud and BE the strong, silent type.

Our hearts, though, have never been silenced though. They cry out, day by day, to be:

Seen.

Heard.

Loved.

Cherished.

Held.

Honored.

I have heard your ♥ heart cry, beloveds, for most of my life. I pray for you. If you have read these words, I walked, I prayed, for YOU. This is what I asked The Universe to give you:

Peace – such that surpasses your understanding. Peace of mind. Peace of body. Peace of soul.

Freedom – from fear. From heartache. From pain. Of your own making or from the hand of another.

Prosperity – in your finances. In your relationships. In your home. In your dreams.

Friendship with God. As YOU understand Him.

Unity – with your fellow man, with your community, with The Universe.

Love – for yourself. With, others. From, the whole blessed 🗺 world!

As I walked, after the storm, I asked God to monetize me so I can do me. In ridiculous, what the world is she doing kinds of ways.

I don’t know how to make a good looking, fancy wow kind of blog. I blog, anyway.

I don’t know how to Instagram and make creative videos that uplift the soul. I upload anywho, wondering if the sound can be heard, if my voice can be heard, if anyone gives two hoots about this old, raspy, caring much too much voice of mine.

Even now, beloveds, I wonder, if you are okay. And, if not, wanting to let you know it will be okay. Until it’s not, I shall sit with you. In your silence. I shall say nothing. I shall honor your space of what in the fresh hell is going on. Seems like the storm will never pass, doesn’t it? Ah, beloveds, the storms pass. They do.

When life hurt the most, I would call mom and she would say “It’s going to be okay.”

When my job announced, out of the blue, they were closing the center and we had 60 days to find another job when there were NO jobs around…smh.

I was terrified. All around me, coworkers and managers were openly weeping. So much so, we had to shut down as no one could continue to work.

I called mom.

I was terrified.

I wept.

Mom said “It’s going to be okay.”

She let me cry.

I cried.

I turned out, okay.

I say all that to say this:

The best IS yet to come.

YOUR best is yet the come.

The storm shall do it’s thing. Storms do.

Remember, the rainbow 🌈 awaits. He promised.

Keep going.

I go with you.

On a side note, if you are, know of, live next to, going to see and or visit someone who has a spare million/billion, laying around, have him/her/you, pop over to my about page and hook a sista up on my GoFundMe Page. Slap a quick 100 grand or something with some commas please and thanks. That made me laugh out loud. You have not because you ask not.

Whatever happens or does not happen, I shall continue to happen to this life. Period.

Be encouraged.

Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone anywhere in the world, who seriously loves some me and is thinking about me and praying for me. Oh, I hope so. It pleases me to think so. Maybe,one day, beloveds, I shall KNOW so.

What a beautiful thought. Think I shall go hang out with Red and mom and yak about these things…

brb,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If my words seem a bit heavy today, they are. I show mine, to give folk courage, to show theirs. Folk too often feel guilty about showing THEIR hurt. It makes them feel too vulnerable. They are. As am I. Could you dismiss and disregard, my heart and my words. You could. Will it hurt? It will. Yet, I love anyway. Why? Because, you are worth it.

One step.

One step.

One step.

Real talk: The storm WILL pass.

Whew.

Whew!

Yes, yesterday could have swallowed me, whole. In times past, I would have ALLOWED yesterday to swallow me whole.

Seven days. Seven days, til mom’s birthday. Year seven, since she passed. Wow.

I am not dreading her birthday, this year. Yet, I miss her. Every day. Am loving her now, in a different way.

Life often does it’s life things which cause us to do things, differently.

Or, we can lament the new change and try to force our old ways on new things.

It was hard. It still can be, hard, to keep letting mom go so I can keep, going forward.

Letting her go does NOT mean I am letting go of her love. Simply means she had her time here. Now, she loves me, there, where I can’t yet go.

Life goes on. It must. As must I. As must we all.

Go on now, beloveds. Yes, it’s hard. No getting around that fact. Go anyway. Your loved ones would want you to keep moving forward.

That relationship you have been holding onto need for you to let it go. It’s not serving you. Or, them. Not, anymore. Not, if it ever did.

Let go of that situation. You have done all you know. Let it go now. Go on.

Let go of your guilt, anger, shame or whatever hell you are holding to because of mistakes or choices made by you or sanctioned by you. You are better now. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness, if need be. Then leave it be! Go on.

The storm WILL pass.

Let it pass.

Breathe.

Wait for the rainbow.

Enjoy the cool breeze, left in the storms wake.

Uh, oh. Another storm appears to be coming. I can hear the thunder. That’s okay. I no longer fear the rain.

Let it come.

I have God’s Umbrella. ☔🌈

here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:😘

I cried on God’s Shoulder yesterday.

Yesterday, was hard.

I crawled onto God’s Lap.

I was silent.

As was He.

Silently, tears joined us.

His.

Mine.

Mingled.

In solidarity.

Streaming.

Silently.

Eventually, tears ended.

I sighed.

God sighed.

Not a word was said.

That said.

Everything needing to be shed…

Was shed.

Everything needed.

Was given.

Done.

Spent.

I slid from God’s Lap.

God smiled.

I smiled.

I got about being about it.

I cried on God’s Shoulder yesterday.

Today I shall take Him on my walk.

walking tearfully today,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 😥❤

The storm WILL pass.

The storm WILL pass. Be encouraged. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvkWnHAIxNG/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Be encouraged.

The storm WILL pass.

Wait for the rainbow.

It’s coming.

waiting for the rainbow,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When life is exhausting and especially hard, I sometimes wonder what the world difference my try will make. That’s when I CHOOSE to try, harder. Don’t dare give up, beloveds. You may never get to see the result of your try. Perhaps, your try is meant to help others to try. You may never get to know. The entire point is your try.

That’s it. That’s all. All you can do is all you can do. Let THAT be enough. We can live, then, with the results. We can even be content, with NO apparent or seeming results, can’t we? Life is not always about us. Sometimes, The Universe needs us and our try for folks we will never meet or see.

They will have gone on, though, helped, in part, by our silent try where only God, Life and The Universe could see.

Keep going. Even, if in silence. EVERY like, helps me keep going. Even, when it’s hard. Why? Because it’s a signal that maybe, just MAYBE, my try has helped someone remove a pebble, from their mountain. From, their shoe. And, maybe, they shall see that pebble for the diamond it is.

One step.

One step.

One step.