Day 5: God, can I be honest with You?

Me: Can I be honest with You?

God: I wish you would.

Me: I don’t want to hurt Your Feelings or want you to think I am not thankful.

God: What troubles you?

Me: You.

God: Me? Whatever for?

Me: 50 percent of folks have power. I look out my window and see lights on. Yet, here I sit, in the dark. Still. I wonder why I never seem to be in Your 50 percent who has lights, who have families to sit with, who have dreams fulfilled. Why, God, do I ALWAYS seem to be of the 50 percent who has to ‘make the best of it’ while others enjoy light and dreams.πŸ₯Ί

God: Fair question(s). Would it help to ask you to trust Me?

Me: Not really.

God: Trust me.

Me: K. Shall I tell You a ridiculous story, filled with food of course, as we wait for the lights to come on.

God: Yes, please! Make it super silly. May I ask YOU a question, beloved?

Me: Sure.

God: Of the 50 percent with lights on, beloved, how many do you imagine have stopped by for a story, a hug, a quiet conversation with Me?πŸ₯Ί

Me: Ah, God. I sowwy. Perhaps, the lights have ALWAYS been on for me so You are able to trust me in and with the darkness.

God: Ah.

Me: Aha!β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ήβ™₯️πŸ₯°. I love You. No matter where. No matter what. No matter why.

God: K.β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ήβ™₯️πŸ₯°

loved,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life rarely is fair. Yet, it’s worth living. Be encouraged. Your turn SHALL come. In the meantime, tell a story during your darkness. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 4: Shut it up, Cassandra!

“Shut it up, Cassandra!”

Yep, beloveds, both God AND me told me to shut it!

I had just started fussing, deservedly so I gallantly told myself. I was hot. I was tired of waiting for the sun to come up. I was tired of waiting for the lights to come on.

I was tired of waiting…

SHUT IT!

WAIT!

PATIENTLY!

I shut it.

I wait.

Patiently.

Geeeeeeez.

πŸ₯°πŸ€£πŸ˜³

If God protects us from the tornado, beloveds, shall He not also ensure we make it AFTER the storm has passed?

He shall. Be encouraged. Until your lights come on:

Rejoice.

Sing.

Laugh.

KNOWING that all IS and ever shall be alright.

encouraged with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you. Nuff said.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 4: You will figure it out when you need to figure it out.

Day 4.

Day 4!!

Whew!

Me and the heat have been boxing πŸ₯Š for four days. The winner has yet to be determined. Tell that to my gasping, heaving, half naked Buddha self. πŸ₯°πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

I am figuring things out. I have alloted myself 10 percent daily of my writing phone so I can listen to music and prepare pieces.

At midnight,Β  the dark was so dark I wanted music for company. Battery πŸ”‹ told me I had already used my ten percent for the day and had to wait for tomorrow.

Sssssshhhhheeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuutt!

I have my work chair situated in front or the air conditioner that does not work so I can coax a bit or breeze from the wind who is currently saying no way to that.

Sssssshhhhheeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuutt!

I have been rereading ‘The Master Stroke’ by Elizabeth Gage. An EXCELLENT read!πŸ₯° I am reading πŸ“– it slowly. Savoring EVERY page.

I have been wanting to get back into reading. I stopped reading after mom died. I can’t even tell you or me why that has been.

Last year, I began to restock my library. I didn’t start reading. Too busy. Too tired. Too don’t ask me…*shrug*

In darkness, I contemplated what I would do when the lights came on. I decided to keep living, in the darkness. I took God with me.

Now, as I await the return of lights and ‘normal’, I bring ‘normal’ into THIS darkness. I write. I sing. I pray. I πŸ˜‚ laugh. I talk to God about THE dumbest things. Like I have ALWAYS done.πŸ₯°πŸ€£

Keep on living, beloveds, no matter what happens. Life is short. Life is good. Even when it’s hot, dark, and no idea what comes next.

being about it,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Lift up your head. You matter. Ah, beloveds, get on out there and live! Open your heart. Speak your truth. Be. Do. Laugh. Launch out. You can do this thing called life. You can. Doing this with you…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: God, I can’t do another day.

Me: I can’t do another day of this. It’s hot. It’s dark. I’m alone.

God: You can. I’m right here with you.

Me: It’s hot. I’m tired.

God: I know. Tell me a story. Make it a good one! Make sure you throw some good food products in there!

Me: K. Once upon a time…

hanging in there(I πŸ€” think),


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When life hands you ANOTHER tornado…whew!β—οΈπŸš¨β€οΈβ€πŸ©ΉπŸ˜³πŸŒͺ

I was telling God I can NOT believe I am in the aftermath of another tornado. Hurricane Katrina was no joke. We had no power for 9 days. No water to flush the toilet. No food.

I am trying to use lessons learned, then, to help me, now.

Now and then…geeeez!

Keep using your thens to help your nows, beloveds. These times are not here to break us. What the hell they ARE for is up for debate.🀣πŸ₯°

Am in battery saving mode. It will be interesting posting these when the lights come on.

Ah, God. Hurry. I can’t do another day…


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

God, I’m angry, but I don’t know why.

I’m angry.

I don’t know why.

Every now and then, I take a swipe at Life, at God, at myself, at…*shrug*

Change is tough. Growth can be frustrating and slow. In the meantime can be agonizing.

We want MOVEMENT DAMMIT!!πŸ€―πŸ€•πŸ˜­πŸ˜³β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ήβ™₯️

WE WANT OUR DREAMS NOW DRAT IT ALL!

Just bring HONEST with God has helped. I have apologized to Him ten times already today. I sowwy, God.😳😁🀣πŸ₯°

Be encouraged. Where you find yourself KNOW you are never alone. If you need some encouragement, reach out and let folk know.

By the by, I checked the fridge for snacks and see Maggie has eaten the last of the Oreos. How DARE she. Smh. Maggie, I thought me and you wuz people.🀣πŸ₯°

Take care of yourselves, beloveds. Your heart is much too important to be ran empty. Refresh. Get refilled. Rest. Get some fresh air.

Above all, beloveds, look beyond your present circumstances. Believe me, living through this tornado has me looking forward to try and see what I can see. Reality wants to tell me all is lost and IΒ  am hopelessly behind.

I am NOT lost. I am in HIS Hands. How much safer can I be?

forever grateful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We got this…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Tell reality to shut it(up)!

Reality wanted to set in.

Yea, beloveds, Reality wanted to rent space in my mind:

Reality: You sure are in a pickle! Look at this mess! Phew! All this rotten garbage smells awful.

Me: It does.

Reality: Wow, Cassandra. You are down to nothing. No working car battery. Empty bank account. Few friends. WHO is there for you now?

Me: I hear you. Things are not always what they appear to be.

Reality: Where is God? What of Your Homie, Jesus? Where…

Me: Shut the hell up and get to stepping!!😑πŸ₯ŠπŸ«Έ

Be encouraged, beloveds. I’m trying my best to be. There are soooooooooooo many needs I can do nothing about.

I find I don’t know how to ask for help for ME. I need help. I need encouragement. I could use a friend or two.

I wish I had someone during this time.

I wish…

Ah, beloveds, Reality is wanting to settle in. I’m hot. I’m tired. I feel alone.

The lights are on but still feel as though I am sitting in the darkness.

Someone tell me a story.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This blog is primarily for you, beloveds. Tonight, I wish it could be for me. Ah, God. Where are You, at the moment? I feel soooooooo alone. What do I DO with me now? Asking for a friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: The generator: Whose fault is it really?

Someone managed, somehow, to get a generator.

It wasn’t me.

Shhheeeeeeeuuuuuuooooootttttt!

The sound annoyed me. Ticked me off!

Why?

Because,  I could imagine folk who were being cooled, who had lights and enjoying near normal whilst I was swearing, er, sweating terribly, in the dark.

Fresh hell!!!

I got angry at God. HIS fault I didn’t have one!

Never mind He had been reminding me for months to research options for when lights may go out as it storms so frequently that lights going out are a when and not if.

Yea, beloveds, I was in the middle of a great debate about how God SHOULD have done this, that and the other thing.

God calmly countered He HAD asked ME to do the this, that and the other thing which would have, at the very least, kept me with a charged phone!

My bad, God. I sowwy.

Often, whilst things are still and quiet, God will ask us to do some seemingly strange things which can and does prepare us for bumpy roads ahead. It’s up to us to listen.

Now, I am not angry at my neighbors. I am grateful they have a bit of normal. My normal will never be normal, as it was…*sigh*.

I am using my time to prepare my chicklets for this new normal. Life changes. Life will change us if we let it. I plan on the change being permanently optimistic.

I am going to keep on living as best as I can.

I am going to keep on loving folk.

I AM GOING TO LOOK INTO GENERATOR OPTIONS!🀣πŸ₯²πŸ€£

grateful/thankful for life,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t beat yourself if you find yourself unprepared. Do what you can, now. Move forward, now. No need lamenting about what you didn’t do. Do. Now. Love someone. Starting with you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: God, why am I still here?

Me: Why am I here? STILL?!

God: Why on earth would you ask?

Me: Why!? What USE am I? What GOOD am I doing? I am:

Old.

Fat.

Alone.

55!!

Broke.

Broken.

πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯

God: You are many things to Me and others. You are:

Loved.

Seen.

Cherished.

Heard.

Valued.

Know yet not, beloveds, your value has nothing to do with your production or lack thereof, in YOUR eyes. My Eyes see you much differently.

Me: How so?

God: Great question! Keep asking. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack. Know that I love you and am right here with you, in this present darkness. Tell me another story.

Me: K. Once upon a time…

wondering what to do with me now,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When sudden change comes upon suddenly, beloveds, hold on. Be encouraged. The world has turned upside down for me. Thanos has snapped his fingers. Ah, beloveds, the avengers SHALL show up for us. He promised. I believe God. Nuff said. In case no one has told you today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: No reason to stop.


No reason to stop.

No storm shall stop me from pursuing my dreams.

No reason.

No!

I shall:

Press forward.

Press on.

Press through.

In the dark.

In the light.

In the rain.

I have thangs to do!

doing thangs,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going, beloveds. We got thangs to do. Be encouraged. Though your steps falter, though your heart quivers, though your shoulders slump, lift up your head!

We CAN.

We WILL!

When this battery dies, I shall write, STILL, in my β™₯ heart. I shall continue to endeavor to ever pen words of encouragement and love. Ah, beloveds, be encouraged. I love me some you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Fear: Aren’t you afraid?

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Doubt: Don’t you Doubt things will work out?

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Anger: Don’t you want to tell God to kick rocks for not protecting you?

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Fatigue: Don’t you want to give up on this dream fulfillment foolishness already?!

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Fear/Doubt/Anger/Fatigue: Well, why in the hell not??!!😠😑🀯😱

Me: Because, God has NOT given me a spirit of fear but of love and of a sound mind. More than enough for me. Anymore stupid/unnecessary questions?

🎀 drop.

Nuff said,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Tell fear and the like to take two seats and kick rocks. Stand on your faith. You can do this…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!