Rather, to me, my voice sounds tired. A real problem when I use my voice for a living.
Since last year’s tornado, I have felt soul tired. Only someone who has been soul tired will know what I mean.
A tired, from a blow soooooooooooooo devastating, it takes one’s breath away!
I have experienced many a blow in my 56 years. The tornado was the last straw. Theeeeeeee last of many straws. Ah, God…
I’m working THROUGH the tired. I don’t know where it ends. I don’t know if there will ever be an end to it.
What if THIS voice is the ONLY voice I will have moving forward?!😳🌪
I hope not. In the meantime, I must use the voice I have NOW. Muted though she may now be. She is STILL me.
A wounded me?
Perhaps.
A resilient me?
You damn betcha!
Today, I speak. Shakily. Tiredly. Unapologetically.
I have been through some thangs. Perhaps, beloveds, you shall find your strength 💪 listening to my tired voice. Oh, I hope.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep on working through the tired. It won’t always feel hard. Okay, it may but do it anyway. Keep working your way through your goals. I am having too much fun to worry about how hard things are today. I may think of that tomorrow. In the meantime, I am enjoying my day. All of it.
I choose to be my own hero. I will rescue myself. I will stand up for myself. I will fight for myself.
I will put in the work. I will not sit around waiting for someone else to do things for me. I will do the things that I can do for myself.
I will work until I succeed. I will pursue until I have conquered. I am the champion of my life.
putting in champion’s work, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Put in the work as the champion that you are. Champions win. They also fail. Yet, champions understand this is simply a part of life. Push through the hard. Get to the other side. This was meant to be easy. Let’s go!
Beloveds, ask me WHY my dreams keep waking me up at 4:00 o’clock in the morning?!
All week. Every day. 4:00 o’clock in the morning. I don’t know if the universe is testing me or poking fun at me. either way, good Egads!
And every morning I have been forced to make a choice. I can go back to bed. Or I can work on my dreams. I choose to work on my dreams.
I have spent too much of my life choosing a former when it came to my dreams. Of course I would get up and rush to work and help pursue the dreams of others without question.
I am flipping the script. I am writing a new chapter. I am going to finish this book of mine. this dream of mine. I will. if I am the only one to read it this damn book is going to be written!
Get up. it’s time. You have things to do. You have dreams to fulfill. You have lives to impact. You have your own life to impact. Get up and go. Don’t wait.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: We are so much more than we have been given ourselves credit for. We have tried many, many, many, many things. Let’s try making our dreams come true, shall we? Take one step. Just one. Then take another.
I’m fighting for YOUR dreams, beloveds. I have committed this day to yours.
My dreams seem just too heavy. So, I have set them down for the day. I told my try to rest. I got this. I’m going to give my try over to cheering on others today.
I was mad at my dreams last night. My dreams are NOT paying the bills. I need bills paid. I am doing my utmost to not allow desperation to overtake me and my dreams.
It’s okay to rest, beloveds. You just can’t quit. Not today. Not on the first of never. Not even on the second of we can do this later.
Go! Fight!!
Use your frustration to help you find another way. Make a new plan. Tweak the old one. Just keep doing SOMETHING.
With resignation. Almost, with me. I say almost because I ALMOST allowed resignation to have my dreams.
Disappointment was loud. Hope was being awfully timid. Patience stood by waiting on MY response.
God/Life/The Universe refused to get involved. This was MY fight. These were MY dreams. These dreams were mine to attend to, to fight for, to nurture, to champion, to relentlessly pursue.
Last night, I truly did seriously consider tossing my dreams aside. I told myself I would start looking for regular work on Monday. On Monday, beloveds, I was going to start living a life of quiet desperation.
To hell with that!!!😡🎯
I just stopped by to shake somebody. Dammit, we have quit on our dreams enough, already!
Enough!
Don’t you DARE give yourself permission to dismiss you and your dreams. They matter. You matter.
Flame out. Then, get back in the fight. I mean it. We have too blasted many thangs to do, beloveds. Our dreams may be wrapped up in each other’s dreams!
What if your dreams mixed up in mine? Your dreams are much too important for me to give up.
My words may hold your key. Your key may open my door. Ah, beloveds, keep going. Even when it’s especially hard right now.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: We CAN. We WILL. We have to. If you can’t have your dream today, go help someone else reach theirs.
Note: I have been battling with frustration ALL morning.
Frustration is currently angry. I made it clean out the fridge and take out the garbage.
Later and lazy are smart enough to lay low.
I absolutely REFUSE to allow my feels to affect my try or my day.
I am making my day amazing. Frustrating learning and all.
I refuse to stop until I have learned something new. Good luck with that, doubt just said. I think I will make doubt vaccuum the floor when frustration returns from its trash run.
We will never know what we can do until we try to do something. Do something today.
When disappointment lands its final blow, get up and try again.
Periodt.
End of story.
Rinse.
Repeat.
I wanted to give up last night. I mean really give up!
I told myself “That’s it! I am TIRED of being disappointed!!”
I told myself I was NOT lifting another finger, when it came to my dreams.
I was done!
I was finished!
These damned dreams are much too disappointing!
They are too heavy!!
I felt like a clown.
I felt like an impossible imposter.
I STILL feel the fool.
My dreams woke my mad up this morning. Said we had thangs to do.
doing thangs, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I put my whole heart, beloveds, into something. I was rejected so much as ignored. Completely.
I feel like a fool.
I feel:
Old.
Unable.
Incapable.
Alone.
Rejected.
Ugly.
Fat.
I did NOT want to drag my ugly, fat, old, lonely, incapable soul out of bed this morning.
I didn’t. I brought along my capable, able, ready, resilient, amazing self and started my day.
Yesterday’s try is done. Today I shall see if I flame out more brilliantly than yesterday’s apparent face plant. I fight on. You do the same.
Keep going. Keep moving FORWARD. Keep looking UP. Don’t give up because the day’s results gave you an emphatic no. Tomorrow’s results may contain the yes you have been waiting for. You’ll never know it you allow your loud disappointment to cause you to quietly quit.
I will never again quiet quit on my dreams. That’s why I stormed in here so loudly. THIS is when I must be the loudest. I have finally answered the question I have been asking all my life:
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 