My dreams feel like looking for a needle in a haste to act. My dreams feel like the needle. The millions of people I am competing with seems like the haystack.
Daunting.
Intimidating.
Knee buckling.
Still, no one will ever find my needle, my dreams, if I don’t put them out there for all to find/see.
That gives me the courage to keep putting out as many needles as I can! One or two just may slip through the cracks and be seen. I hope so.
I hope…
Keep on putting your needles out there, beloveds. Yes, the chances are remote. That said, there IS the opportunity IF we but summon the courage to keep putting our dreams out there for the world to see and judge.
I have had two mind-numbing defeats these last days as I tossed my dream hats in the ring. I cried. I quit. I cried while I quit.
With all the bad storms, nothing has been funny lately.
I took the day off to just refresh my mind. I’m glad I did. I woke up refreshed and ready to get back after it. I forgot about the storms. They have passed. They are no longer my concern.
I’m not worried about the storms to come. Storms will come. I don’t have time to wait or worry about them. I have much too much to do. So do you.
Don’t focus on the storms. focus on your goals and the dreams you have. Keep moving forward and looking up. Take some time if you need to, but keep going. We got this.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life sure has been lifing here lately. Have an amazing rest of your day. Your day is what you make it. Choose to make it a spectacular one.
Towards that end, beloveds, I made me a playlist that gets me so fired up I can barely stand myself!…lol.
I have inspiration, motivation and oh, my goodness, all in one place.
It helps my tired. It fills me, so I can attempt to fill others.
This time, beloveds, I am fueling up mentally/spiritually/stomachwise BEFORE I rush off to do my thangs.
Too often, I would rush off, empty, tired and drained. I would ignore the fatigue. I told myself I would get to me “later”. Somehow, busy was much too busy to allow later to help me out.
I’m making my playlist. I’m making sure to keep myself filled with peace, love and joy. I’m doing the best I can to tell fear to kick rocks.
I’ve been feeling my age this week. I’m not sure why. I feel so old. I wonder how many more days I have to fight. The fight is exhausting. Yet, I fight on. I have things to do.
It’s amazing, beloveds, what will come, from the depths of your soul, when you take your eyes off what you may lose, and set it upon what you are determined to be, have and do!
I did not realize how much of my time I had been wasting terrifying myself with losing my apartment.
Long before the tornado, my sole focus, internally, was barely scraping by so I could keep the lights on and a roof over my head.
Growing up, we lived on the razor’s edge of enough. There was never enough food, by the end of the month.
There was never enough money to fund the dreams of 13 children.
There was never enough time for mom to give us the individual time and love we each craved from her.
We lived in a state of perpetual ‘never enough’. After a time, I felt as if I was never enough.
I began to compensate by working myself half to death.
Desperation, moved into my heart, secretly taking control of ALL of my choices.
Desperation told my dreams to pipe down. Desperation, realizing dreams could free me, from it’s grasp, set out to keep me chained in a world of disbelief.
In a way, the tornado did me a service in having revealed the true depths of my desperation.
Fear, like I have never known, revealed itself as the terrifying monster it was.
I was left with two choices: Fight for me. Or, allow fear and desperation to control the rest of my life.
I chose me. I choose me, still!
I have had many a tough days since. Lonely days. Frightening days. Frustrating days. Disappointing days.
Yet, through them all, beloveds, I have found joy. I have found peace. I have found hope. I have found self love. I have found laughter. I have found light.
I am no longer afraid of what I may lose. I am too damned busy pursuing my dreams!
Even when they don’t understand you. Even when you don’t understand them.
Keep reaching out.
Even when they don’t understand your try. Even when you don’t understand their lack of understanding.
Keep caring about folk.
Even when they don’t understand why you care “for no reason”. Even when you don’t understand why they don’t understand that you “just care”.
There are days, beloveds, when I want to leave the 🌎 to its own devices. Folk see ulterior motives in everything. Or, they think you think ill of them for no reason. Smh.
I was raised to take folk at face value. The advent of social media has raised a generation of folk who hide behind personas and being perceived as influencers and wellbeing gurus.😥😳
Whatever happened to folk just BEING. Just you. Just me. Just us. Flawed, yet lovable.
None of us are perfect. Since when did we all have to be? We don’t. I do one to two dumb things daily. It keeps me grounded.🥰🧓
Be encouraged, beloveds. Get off the hamster wheel and stop trying to drape yourself in whatever is currently trending on TikTok. You are wonderful as you are. Sometimes dumb and all.
I accept my dumb as well as my goodness. We are all many things at once. We work our own last nerves at times. That’s okay.
Even when they don’t understand. Even when you don’t understand…
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I am trying to convey something but my heart is just too sad for so many folk who have fallen for the lie they are not enough without adornment. 😥🌎
*Cassandra looks upon decades’ worth of hollering, not listening, not being WILLING to see the other side, and rushing them to the trash heap of history*
Geeeeeeez.😯
Lessons sure are hard to learn, eh? Especially when one realizes how much of a moron one has been, over the course of time. Jimmy Crickets!
I have kicketh my behindeth, here lately. Maybe, it’s from all the studying I have been doing. I’m trying to cram a lifetime into the past few months.
Be encouraged. Keep being willing to own your uh-ohs. No fun but needed. I think I shall reward myself with a honey bun.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 