I TOLD HARD, “HA!”
Beloveds.
Life came for me.
Hard came for me.
And I told Hard—
“HA!” 😂
Now, before somebody thinks Cassandra has finally lost what little sense she had left, let me explain. 😂
I didn’t tell hard it wasn’t hard.
I told hard it wasn’t God.
Sit with that for a minute.
Because I am not going to lie to you and pretend everything that has happened to me has been easy.
It hasn’t.
I’m not going to tell you I haven’t cried.
I have.
I’m not going to tell you I haven’t gotten tired, frustrated, angry, disappointed, scared, or just plain sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I have.
Hard is HARD.
And sometimes faith doesn’t change that fact.
Sometimes prayer doesn’t immediately change the circumstances.
Sometimes you can believe God with everything in you and still wake up tomorrow facing the same thing you were facing yesterday.
I know something about that.
I am taking care of myself.
I’m listening to my doctors.
I’m preparing to begin outpatient therapy.
And I also understand that I may have to live with some residual symptoms from my stroke unless and until God heals me.
Maybe He will.
I believe He can.
But Beloveds, I also have to tell you something that matters deeply to me:
I may not get the miracle I want.
And God will still be God.
I will still be blessed.
I will still love Him.
I will still trust Him.
And I will not blame God for an outcome I don’t like.
Life came for me.
Hard came for me.
I told hard, “HA!”
Not because hard didn’t hurt.
Not because I won every battle.
Not because everything went back to the way it used to be.
Not because I got everything I prayed for.
HA! is not denial.
HA! is me refusing to give hard a promotion it did not earn.
Hard does not get to become God.
Hard does not get to decide whether I laugh today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I love today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I write today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I dream today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I LIVE today.
And perhaps that is what living your best life really means.
Maybe your best life isn’t the life you would have chosen.
Maybe it isn’t the life you planned.
Maybe living your best life means taking the life you have—
and living the mess out of it anyway.
Laugh while something still hurts.
Call somebody you love.
Watch the movie.
Play the music.
Eat something delicious.
Write the thing.
Go to therapy.
Ask for help.
Take the nap.
Cry when you need to cry.
Start again when you’re able.
Sit still when you’re not.
Find something beautiful in a day that wasn’t particularly beautiful.
And please hear me:
You do not have to defeat hard before you start living again.
🔒🔑
Hard may change the lock.
Hard doesn’t get to hide every key.
Maybe your hard is illness.
Maybe it’s grief.
Maybe somebody broke your heart.
Maybe you’re lonely.
Maybe money is funny and the bills aren’t laughing.
Maybe you’re caring for somebody and you’re exhausted.
Maybe you’re beginning again at 27.
Or 57.
Or 87.
Maybe you’ve been praying about something so long that you don’t even know what else to say.
Maybe today you don’t feel strong.
Then don’t perform strength for me.
Cry.
Rest.
Call somebody.
Get some help.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
And when you’re able—
LIVE.
Because whatever came for you does not automatically get the rest of you.
AND NOW, MY 🥜 EATERS…
😂🥰
Come on in.
Yes, YOU.
Pull up your chair.
You already know I’m not about to sneak an altar call into paragraph six. 😂
You don’t have to believe what I believe for this next part to belong to you.
I believe in God.
I believe Jesus is Lord and Savior.
I believe God can heal me.
That’s Cassandra.
I’m not hiding my faith to make anybody comfortable.
But I’m also not requiring you to borrow my faith before I’ll pull out a chair for you.
So keep your peanuts. 🥜😂
Sit down.
I gotchu and gotcha.
Because whether you believe in God, don’t believe in God, aren’t sure about God, are angry with God, walked away from church a long time ago, or have never walked through the doors—
hard has probably introduced itself to you too.
And here’s what I want you to hear:
Whatever happened to you is something that happened to you.
It does not have to become everything you are.
You don’t have to call that God.
I do.
You don’t have to explain your survival the way I explain mine.
You don’t even have to understand it yet.
But please—
LIVE.
That’s it.
That’s my grand agenda today.
No sorting table.
No religious prerequisite.
No test at the door.
There are chairs.
🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑
Come sit down.
Believers, bring your faith.
🥜 eaters, bring your peanuts.
Those of you somewhere in between, bring your questions.
Everybody bring your keys. 🔑
We’ve got some living to do.
Because sometimes the miracle isn’t that everything changed today.
Sometimes today is simply the day you realized:
I AM STILL HERE.
And being here means there is still something available to me.
Love.
Laughter.
Friendship.
Music.
A conversation.
A sunset.
A ridiculous movie.
A good cry.
Another beginning.
Another chance to say I love you.
Another opportunity to tell somebody else:
I gotchu.
And another day to LIVE.
So Hard…
I see you.
I felt you.
I have the scars to prove you were here.
I’m not pretending you weren’t hard.
But you apparently misunderstood something.
You thought because you changed some things, you got everything.
You thought because life didn’t turn out exactly as I planned, I would stop living it.
You thought because my body changed, Cassandra disappeared.
You thought because I cried, joy packed its bags.
You thought because I hurt, love left.
You thought because I don’t know exactly what tomorrow holds, I couldn’t enjoy TODAY.
Baby…
HA! 😂💃🏿
I’m still here.
Still loving.
Still laughing.
Still believing.
Still writing.
Still dreaming.
Still taking care of myself.
Still finding 🔑s.
Still pulling out chairs.
Still loving me some Beloveds.
And still living.
Life came for me.
Hard came for me.
I TOLD HARD, “HA!”
And whatever came for you, Beloved—
please don’t hand it the rest of your life.
I gotchu and gotcha.
And God has us all. ❤️
Unapologetically His.
Unapologetically yours.
loving me some you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Writing ✍️🏿 this actually brought tears to my eyes, beloveds. I dream of raising both arms in praise. I want to run again. I want to drive 🚗 again.
I want to live on my own. This stroke makes that impossible, for now.
Now, I have to literally plan EVERY step. That gets exhausting. It’s why folks who have had a stroke take many naps. Even my try gets exhausted fast.
Still, I am grateful for my life. Even on my harshest health days.
This morning, I told lazy to get up. Lazy, laughter, Jesus and I folded my laundry and put it away.
Whew!
I made a promise to myself that I would take no breaks until the last piece was folded and put away.
In total, it has taken almost four hours to complete my routine.
I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.
Enjoy yourself. Embrace your life. It’s the only one we get.
In case no one has told you today: I love you and so does He. Be patient. Be resourceful. Be resolute.
Be challenged. Be adventurous. Be…
Heckamiah! Be as many things as you want!😎🥰😂👀💃🏿💯
Take care of your heart as it is precious and priceless to ABBA, to me.
Finally, hit me up in the comments. Tryna sound cool 😎. How’d I do. Asking for A Friend…😂🥰❤️
