Author: Cassandra S.

I love you, Howard.

I love you, Howard.

My heart just needed to tell the world about you. You are such a wonderful man. You have such a giving heart.

You love. Unconditionally. You give of yourself. Liberally.

You tell stupid jokes. You love weird food. You go to places I will forever be afraid to go.

You fight for friends and loved ones. You consider your enemies.

You care. You empathize.

You are relentless in your endeavors.

For some reason, you set your heart upon me. You chose to love this old, broke, loud black woman unconditionally. I still don’t know why. The joke is on you. I am life’s booby prize, or have you not figured that out yet?

Tonight, as I prayed, I went through my grateful list. I found your love at the top. I just HAD to take one of my moments to let you know.

Thanks for being you. I shall keep being me. Hopefully, we have many a step to journey together. Til journey’s end…

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If you love someone, beloveds, let them know. Wish I had a note like this. No hint intended.❤️‍🩹♥️🤗

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I love you.

I love you.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Have an amazing day. I am rooting for you today. I am praying for you today. I am hopeful for us all today. Ah, beloveds, today may be THE day some of our dreams come true! I hope…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Whatever direction you take, you do not take those steps alone.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Don’t be afraid to move forward.

Whatever direction you take, you do not take those steps alone.

I have been wondering what on earth to DO next.

I have NO idea where to turn.

I can’t tell what’s up from what’s down.

I feel EVERYTHING is turned inside out.

I’m afraid to move.

I’m afraid NOT to move.

I’m trying NOT to be afraid of not moving.

Ack.

Ick.

Life sure can feel icky when we have not the first clue. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

I must admit, I am having more fun as I learn how to sit still and WAIT PATIENTLY ALREADY CASSANDRA!!!!!!!!!

I am learning how to DO things which serve me, while I wait:

I write.

I pray.

I yak with fam/friends.

I enjoy my football.

I enjoy my coffee.

I enjoy my chicken strips.

I enjoy…hhmm.

I am LIVING, beloveds. In the meantime. Despite. In spite of. Because of. No matter what. Periodt.

Can I be REEEEEEAALLLLY honest, beloveds? I was secretly going to spend the day feeling sorry for myself and wondering where my dreams was, fussing at God about His Silence, wallowing in Cheetos and pretending I was alright with not knowing what the fresh hell is going on already!

Instead, good habits, said ‘not today’ and snatched the covers off. Try, popped me upside the head and pointed at the kettle. Day, kicked me in the hind in, and pointed at the laptop. God/Life/The Universe just laughed at me and encouraged me to be about being about it.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAHA!

Don’t be afraid of taking the next step. Don’t worry about not knowing exactly where you are going. Whatever direction you take, you do not take those steps alone.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are NOT alone, remember?…..(((((((((((((((((((((hugs everyone)))))))))))))))))

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Just a little bit extra.

I’m tired.

I want to stop writing. I can’t. Not just yet. I want to give things ‘just a little bit extra’. Dad used to tell me to do what you can. Then, do just a little bit extra.

For the last couple of years, it has all I could do just to do the best I could. You could forget about an ‘extra’. I had no extra. I was empty. Truth be told, beloveds, I feel empty. Still.

Still, I am trying to get back to giving ‘just a little bit extra’. I want to get up. I want to turn off the laptop. I want to lay down. I won’t. I promised me I would give ‘just a little bit extra’ today.

Ah, God. I’m tired. I’m giving all I have. Can you give a sista some back please?

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Everything in me wants to stop. Right now. Not quite yet. I feel a little bit of extra in me…lol. Be encouraged. You are in my thoughts.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Your blessings have been hiding in your frustration(s).

I’m giving you a cheat code, beloveds.

Your blessings have been hiding in your frustration(s).

The world would have you run away from the hard, from the frustrating, from the disappointing. Not knowing the greatest gifts can be found therein.

Wisdom knows this. Knowledge is well aware. Experience keeps trying to teach us this.

I am TRYING, God bless me, to learn these lessons. I seem to fail much more than I succeed. Alas. It’s a good thing life comes with plenty of erasers….hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Fall is here. Winter, soon to follow. I want to enjoy Fall. I don’t want to be forever fretting about the coldness of the coming Winter. I don’t want to be worrying about falling, with every step. I just want to enjoy living.

I was watching a particularly frustration football game, last night. Flags everywhere! Dumb plays everywhere! Everyone was making the dumbest mistakes!! I wanted to scream at the television.

The game ended. One team won. The other team lost. They both tried. One won. Clumsily. The other lost. Dumbly. Yet, they gave their all. They played the game. What’s the lesson in that? Don’t waste an evening watching two teams play like that!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, the bigger message is all we can do is to play the game. Some games, we shall look graceful. Other games, we shall look like the bumbling, clumsy humans we are. No matter. Stay in the game. Enjoy the process. Shake the hand of the victor. At times, hopefully, the victor will be you.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am proud of me. I have taken what could have been as a frustrating afternoon and have turned it into a satisfying evening. How satisfying.

Enjoy your day. Scrounge out the blessings and gifts in your frustrations(s). You got this. God has us all

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

No.

No.

Two letters that can cause such frustration!

I keep asking and asking and asking.

I keep hearing silence.

Silence, seemingly to me, must mean ‘no’.

Doesn’t it?

What, pray tell, God does Your Silence MEAN?

No?

Wait?

Not now?

Forgetaboutit?

The Universe is silent.

Life just shrugs at my asking.

I am doing my best to be patient. It’s NOT easy. Waiting for a yes. Wondering if the silence truly does mean no.

If so, can I ACCEPT/RECEIVE the no?

Do I want to?

No.

Will I?

Yes.

Will you?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Just because all are silent now, does NOT mean the answer has been ‘no’. If so, are you willing to accept ‘no’? I am learning how to accept ‘no’. Geeeeeeeeeez, though, God. Can a sista get a coupla ‘yes’ ever now and again? Asking for some friends….

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Kicking and screaming if you have to!

Drag your dreams.

Kicking and screaming if you have to!

Make your want to want whether they want to or not!

Give mercy NO mercy as you fight for what you want to bring into the light!

Drag yourself out of bed.

Kicking and screaming if you have to!

Make yourself DO what you KNOW what you can do!

Muster your courage. Summon your strength. Get them working FOR you.

Kicking and screaming if you have to!

Life is short. There is too much good in you, beloveds, to be docile, to be silent, to be stagnant.

Get up!

Get a move on!

Live your life.

Kicking and screaming if you have to!

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, so you are supposed to be out there living life, beloveds. Get going. Kicking and screaming if you have to!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

You are more than a survivor.

You are more than a survivor.

You are more than a conqueror.

You are more than your worst mistake.

You are more than your financial net worth.

You are more than your expectations.

You are more than the world’s expectations.

You are more than your family’s expectations.

You are more than you hope for.

You are more than you could possibly dream you can be.

Keep on being the more that you are.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are NOT a victim. Things have happened to you. You have and are overcoming them. You are NOT those things. You are soooooooooooooooooo much more, beloveds. Keep on being you. Don’t be ashamed of the you that you are now. Yes, you are growing. Love THIS you. Now. Here. In THIS moment. Don’t wait until you have done the thing, to love you. Love you NOW. You are beautiful in EVERY stage. This is but a stage in your life.

Own your stage. Get your groove on. Laugh. Dance. Sing. Badly. Just keep on being. Asking for A Friend. In case no one has told you today: You are magnificent! I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Your try is NEVER wasted.

I am redoing things this evening. ALL over again. I had just spent an entire afternoon working on things that disappeared. Again. Smh.

I didn’t waste time fretting about it. I decided I would do some new things. I chose to start again. Again. I decided not to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow may have other things in store.

So, I am working on things. Again. I am working on me. Again. Those things were not wasted. Just because they have been hidden, my try has already stored up great things for me.

Who knows what these new pieces shall bring me that the hidden ones didn’t/can’t/wouldn’t? Beats me. I just know I am doing what I can do.

I messed around and pressed something and now the page is all wonky. So what. I am writing. Still. The words are the important thing. I am NOT going to spend half an hour trying to unfix what I have apparently messed up…*shrug*.

As you well know, beloveds, I am going to turn my mishap into something terribly inspiring and remind you to keep on keeping on no matter that the STUPID LAPTOP IS DOING DUMB THINGS I CAN NOT FIGURE OUT AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRA CRA!!!!!

Oooops….scuze me…ehem.

Life is short. Laugh at the mishaps. Then, continue happening to life. Don’t forget, we got thangs to do.

doing thangs with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Allow ALL things to work for your good, beloveds. Even the frustrating things. Especially those. No need for frustration to have ALL the fun, eh? We got this. Life has us all…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Too much in you to fail.

There is just too much in you, beloveds, for you to fail.

Fear not. There are times when life seems to be just tooooooooooooo much to handle. Don’t waste a moment wondering if you can do this.

There is just too much awesome in you, beloveds, for you to fail.

Keep standing.

There is simply too much faithful in you, beloveds, for you to fail.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Nuff said. Go on ahead and keep on being your fabulously fantastic self! In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!