Sad came to visit. Sad wanted to hang out a bit and commiserate about mom.
I invited sad for ☕ coffee.
Me and sad talked of sad things:
Losing mom.
Losing my job.
Losing supposed friends.
Thanksgiving alone.
Then, I presented sad with it’s cap 🧢 and sent sad on it’s way. I told sad to send joy around.
Joy stopped by for some 🎶 music and fun. Want to join us?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: It’s okay to be sad, at times. Be sad, beloveds, then keep it moving. You have too much life to live. You have too much love inside you to share. You have too much love to receive.
Open your heart and receive. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
Real talk, beloveds. You really are much stronger than you think. You are not and have not, given yourself credit for all that you have gone through. Think about it.
In 2016, I was given 60 days to pack up and move to a state I had never lived in. I had no car, of my own. I had no place to stay. There was NO immediate housing. I had 60 days to:
Find and buy a car.
Find a place to stay.
Pack up TWO homes.
Pay to have TWO households moved to TWO different states.
Start working on September 12th whether I had found said home/car.
I did NOT think I would/could make it through THAT.
The 60 days passed. Things closed. I found a car. I found a place to stay. I began working on September 12th. I made it through THAT.
I had no friends. I had no family. I had NO idea how to process things. I had NO time to process things.
Three and a half months later, I lost mom. Early Christmas morning. I did NOT think I would/could make it through THAT.
I scraped through. Barely. Just. By a whisker. I made it through THAT.
When the tornado happened, I wondered how I would/could I make it through THAT. I am still making my way through THAT. I will make it. Some kind of way, beloveds.
There are days when I wonder WHY God left me here. Left here to barely scrape by? Left here to wonder/wander around wondering what in the fresh hell? I feel as bad as I did as when mom passed away. Heckamiah.
I say all of that to say this:
There are times, in our lives, when we have NO idea if we can or will make it. We CAN. We WILL. Take it from someone who withstood an actual tornado in her yard. GEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!
At my lowest, I angrily told God that He could have let me roll on out of here if I was to be left stuck in THIS!!
This:
Hell.
Unknown.
Hellatiously unknown and fearful place! I was TIRED of being afraid. I was TIRED of wondering if/how I would make it.
I’m tired. Still, I will make it through. Some kind of way. How do I know? Because, I did it before. I shall do it again! Ha!
I absolutely refuse to give up. I don’t feel very 💪 strong. So what? I have thangs to do. So do you. I got through THAT, I can get through THIS. So can you.
Whatcha DOIN with them there dreams of yours, beloveds?
Are you working on them?
Are you daydreaming about them?
If not, get to it. IF you can dream it, you can make it happen. Some kind of way. May not come as you thought it should/could/would. Doesn’t mean it ain’t comin’!
Get on up, beloveds. Kick to kickin’ some life hind end to get it workin’ on your behalf.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: What ARE you DOING with those dreams of yours?
Get on out there, beloveds. Live out your dreams. Everyday. Work towards them. Pray over them. Invest in them. Pursue them. Relentlessly. Religiously. Zealously.
Refuse to give up.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: You CAN. You WILL. We have to keep it moving. Whether we feel like it or not.
Have an amazing day. This day is what YOU make it. We are NOT helpless, hapless fools. We are deliberate, hopeful ones.😆🥰🤣
If you are reading these words, beloveds, they are meant for YOU. Yes, YOU. How do I know this? Because, I have prayed and asked God to bring them to he/she/they who are in the most need.
I have NEVER felt more forsaken or more forgotten in all of my 56 years of life. Even losing mom wasn’t THIS hard.
The more, I have tried, to move FORWARD, the more it appears that I have, in fact, moved fifty steps backwards.
Fear has been trying to get me to go back to the comfortableness of not doing too much, not giving too much, not trying to much. It’s much easier, it seems, to give as little as possible. It feels as though it would be better to stop hoping for anything more than the bare minimum.
Hooey on THAT! There is too much out there for us, beloveds. We will NOT go backwards.
We have NOT been forgotten. We have NOT been forsaken. It just feels like that, at times. Isn’t it a good thing that feels do NOT run our lives? WE run them. WE choose how we respond. WE decide if we will waste time being angry and bitter over the happenstances that have happened.
WE choose to be free, by our thoughts and habits. WE decide if we will be imprisoned by our choices, by our inactions/actions.
Be encouraged. Get up. Turn on the lights. Breathe. Then, begin. Again. You CAN. You WILL.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: These hard days are just that: hard days. They are NOT a mandate for how the rest of your life will play out. You will move beyond the hard and into the greatness The Universe is fixing to reward your tenacity/integrity with. Get excited. Your best days truly are before you. You simply must get through this hard. That’s it. Simple, huh?…lol. Keep going. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
Yea, fear, I truly laugh at thee. You thought you had me!
laughing at fear, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Beloveds, fear not. Fear is nothing but a lyin’, denyin’ fool. You CAN. You WILL. Your dreams are being ripened. Keep on looking UP. Keep on moving FORWARD. Laugh at fear. Tell doubt to get out of your way. You have much too much to do to be worrying about things that will probably never happen.
You SHALL overcome all that has seemingly overcome you. Be encouraged. I am praying for us all.
I needed to stop, to take a break, long before the tornado brought this life to a screeching halt.
I needed to stop after my dad died and I couldn’t get to his funeral. I didn’t. I had also just recently lost my home care position as my client had passed away. It was a double whammy: Lost job. Lost father. I had to immediately get on unemployment, find a job, have stupid weekly unemployment checks/meetings.
I needed to stop after Hurricane Katrina. I didn’t. Not only did I NOT stop, I did an extreme amount of overtime to ‘make due’.
I needed to stop after mom died. I didn’t. I stopped long enough for an 11 day binder. Then, I put on my ‘big girl panties’ put my head down, and hid in overtime for years.
I needed to stop many times, after that. I didn’t. I didn’t feel as if I could. I HAD to pay the bills. I just HAD to be available, round the clock, for family, for work, for the church, for friends, for…you get the point.
In all that ‘working’ I stopped working, for my work. I worked for work’s sake. I worked for the sake of work. I worked because I knew nothing else.
I’m learning how to stop. For my mental health sake. For my heart sake. For me. I have needed to stop for a long time now. I have given myself permission to stop. I have to learn how to begin again, slowly. I have to learn how to take my time. To be sure to give myself time to grow and learn and prosper.
We do ourselves a disservice when we run ourselves into the ground. We do not honor our family and God when we do this. We have to love ourselves while we are loving others.
Be sure to stop and rest as needed. Make sure not to live your life running on empty.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: The life is just as important as all the people you take care of. Make sure you love yourself as well.
I am thankful. I am giving thanks for ALL of the hard this year. Today is Thanksgiving. I am grateful for my home. I am grateful for folk who love me.
I am appreciative for all the terribly hard lessons I have been forced to learn. I am grateful for my try.
I am grateful for every person who have sent a like or warm thought my way. I am thankful for every person who has stopped by for a laugh and a bit of encouragement.
I am soooooooooooooooooooooo thankful to see another day. Even as they be a bit rough, at the moment.
Ah, God, thanks for this day. Thanks for being You. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for helping ME learn to love me some me.
I am stopping ’round long enough to set out a plate for those who are alone, like me. Know we are NOT alone. Just by ourselves. There is a difference…lol.
grateful for life, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: What are you grateful for? It helps when we remind ourselves what we have, how far we have come, how much love we have yet to experience. Be encouraged.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 