Beloveds,
Be encouraged. Peace be still
You are loved and you are NOT alone.
Category: hope
GOD IS FIGHTING FOR YOU 🙏🏽 | Stop Carrying It Alone | Peaceful Gospel R&…
Beloveds,
Be encouraged. You are loved and you are NOT alone.
loving me some you,
Cassandra
Help me be loud:
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EARN REST
Sunday, September 13, 2026
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EARN REST
Beloveds,
Today, I am not handing you another assignment.
I am not asking you to prove that you are healing, growing, believing, achieving, or holding everybody together.
Sometimes the holy thing is to stop.
Sometimes the human thing is to stop.
And sometimes those are the same thing.
Yesterday, I watched a movie simply because I wanted to enjoy a movie.
I did not demand that every scene become a message.
I did not make recreation audition for the right to exist.
I watched.
I enjoyed.
I noticed what I noticed.
And I rested.
That matters to me because so many of us have learned to turn even rest into work.
We evaluate it.
We justify it.
We ask whether we were productive enough first.
Nah, beloveds.
Pull up a chair.
Bring your questions, your certainty, your uncertainty, your faith, your lack of faith, your laughter, your tiredness, and the version of you that has absolutely nothing impressive to report today.
Jesus said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28 KJV
That is part of my faith foundation.
If you do not share my faith, you are still welcome here.
I hope you find a place today where your worth is not measured by your output.
This week we are going to talk about beginning again without pretending the old beginning never happened.
We are going to talk about voice, agency, belonging, limits, laughter, and what it means to remain ourselves while life changes around us.
But not today.
Today, rest.
You matter to me.
🔑 Maybe the key today is realizing that rest does not have to be earned.
Come back tomorrow if you want to.
There will be a chair for you.
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Like, comment, share, subscribe, or follow if something here gives you company — and if you do none of those things, you are still beloved.
Help me be loud:
🔑 IT’S NEVER TIME TO QUIT — PIECE FIVE
ANGER CAN TALK.
IT CANNOT DRIVE THE WHOLE WAY.
Beloveds,
I know something about anger.
👀
Anger has information.
Sometimes VERY useful information.
Something hurt.
Something was unfair.
Somebody crossed a boundary.
Something I trusted failed me.
I am exhausted.
I have asked nicely seventeen times and apparently we have now entered the COME CORRECT portion of the program.
🤣👀
Anger can tell the truth.
And I think sometimes we become so afraid of anger that we try to silence it before we have even heard what it came to say.
Especially certain people’s anger.
Especially women’s anger.
Especially Black women’s anger.
Especially the anger of people who are expected to absorb hurt politely so everybody else can remain comfortable.
Nah, fam.
🔑
Anger gets a chair.
It gets to talk.
It gets to tell me:
That hurt.
That was wrong.
I am tired.
I deserved better.
This boundary matters.
Something needs to change.
I will not pretend this is okay.
Those can be necessary truths.
But anger does not get every job.
It cannot be the driver, navigator, mechanic, GPS, road map, gas station attendant AND person screaming directions from the back seat.
🤣
Eventually somebody has to say:
Thank you.
I heard you.
Now let me decide where we are actually going.
🔑
Because anger is powerful.
But power and wisdom are not automatically the same thing.
Anger can identify the fire.
It cannot always tell me what deserves to be rebuilt after the fire.
Anger can tell me a boundary was violated.
It cannot always determine the wisest boundary to build next.
Anger can tell me I have had enough.
It cannot always tell me what tomorrow should look like.
That requires something else.
Discernment.
Time.
Truth.
Prayer, for me.
Sometimes counsel.
Sometimes rest.
Sometimes distance.
Sometimes one night of sleep before I send THAT message.
👀🤣
And sometimes?
Anger was absolutely right.
🔑
That matters too.
I do not want to turn this into another lesson where anger is treated like the troublesome emotion that needs to behave itself.
Sometimes anger is the first part of us brave enough to say:
NO.
Sometimes anger notices injustice before our polite vocabulary catches up.
Sometimes anger protects something tenderness could not protect by itself.
Sometimes anger gets us out of the chair we should never have been sitting in.
So I am not throwing anger out of the car.
I am just moving it out of the driver’s seat.
Come on.
You can ride.
🤣
But we are NOT driving 97 miles per hour through three emotional toll booths because somebody got on our nerves.
👀
We have somewhere better to go.
🔑
And maybe this belongs in a series called It’s Never Time to Quit because frustration can make quitting feel urgent.
Right now.
Today.
Burn it down.
Delete everything.
Never speak to them again.
Give up.
Walk away.
Decide the whole thing was a mistake.
But sometimes the feeling is real while the conclusion is premature.
I can honor what anger is telling me without allowing one furious moment to write the ending.
That is a kind of perseverance too.
Not suppressing myself.
Not pretending.
Not swallowing every hurt and calling it grace.
Listening.
Learning.
Then choosing.
🔑
Beloveds, maybe you are angry today.
I am not going to tell you to stop.
I am going to ask you something different.
What is your anger trying to tell you?
Not what is it demanding you DO.
What is it telling you?
There is a difference.
Is it telling you that you are tired?
That somebody crossed a line?
That you need help?
That you need rest?
That something is unjust?
That you have been silent too long?
That you keep expecting something from somebody who has repeatedly shown you they cannot—or will not—give it?
That you need to forgive?
That you need distance?
That you need to speak?
That you need to stop speaking and listen?
That you need to change the method?
That you need to leave the door closed?
👀🔑
Listen carefully.
There may be a key hiding underneath all that heat.
Then decide what deserves to drive.
For me, anger may ride in the car.
But love gets a vote.
Wisdom gets a vote.
Truth gets a vote.
Faith gets a vote.
My future gets a vote.
And Cassandra gets a vote too.
💃🏿
Because my anger belongs to me.
But so does my next choice.
🔑
ANGER CAN TALK.
IT CANNOT DRIVE THE WHOLE WAY.
You matter to me.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Help me be loud:
Mix – Your Story Is Not Over—God Is Restoring Everything | Gospel R&B Wo…
Beloveds,
Your story is NOT over. Be encouraged.
Stand!
Fight!
Try!
Believe!
In YOU!
You are never alone. Still really sick but standing TEN TOES down on faith, hope, and love.
I love me some YOU. SO DOES HE!
Cassandra
Help me be loud:
WHAT IF.
WHAT IF YOUR PREFERENCE IS REALLY A RULER?
LOVE IN ACTION. IN REAL TIME.
Beloveds, I watched something this morning that reached underneath several conversations I have been having lately.
It was an episode of the Dear Future Wifey Podcast called “God Delivered Us From Our Preferences,” featuring Joshua and Courtney Washington.
You can watch it here:
https://youtu.be/fln2OcdzvZI?si=bz7aLccwfJpPbBY6
According to their preferences, Joshua and Courtney should never have chosen each other.
Joshua did not want to enter a relationship with a woman who already had children.
Courtney had four.
Courtney had also made an inner vow as a child that she would never have Black children.
That vow did not appear from nowhere.
She had been bullied because of the color of her skin.
A wounded Black child tried to protect her future children from experiencing the pain she had experienced.
Her conclusion was harmful.
But before we rush to condemn her conclusion, we must be willing to sit beside the child who reached it.
She was trying to solve an injury with the understanding and power available to her at the time.
Joshua also had a ruler.
He had decided that a woman with children represented a responsibility he did not want.
But Courtney’s children were not defects attached to an otherwise desirable woman.
They were part of the whole life she had already lived.
To receive Courtney, he had to see more than the category he had placed her in.
Both of them had to investigate the rulers beneath their preferences.
And that is where this stopped being only their story.
beloveds, some of our preferences are simply preferences.
Some of them are healthy boundaries.
Some of them are expressions of wisdom, compatibility, safety, and discernment.
But some of the things we call preferences are rulers constructed from fear, injury, racism, ableism, rejection, church culture, family expectations, ego, or the determination never to be hurt that way again.
Sometimes we are not measuring what is good.
We are measuring what feels familiar.
Sometimes we are not protecting our peace.
We are protecting an old wound from ever being examined.
Sometimes we are not exercising discernment.
We are rejecting a complete person because part of that person’s life does not match the picture we created.
Sometimes the ruler is pointed toward somebody else.
Sometimes it is pointed toward us.
I know something about being measured.
I am a Black woman.
I am loud.
I am a woman whose speech changed after a stroke.
I use a wheelchair.
I am a believer.
I am a writer.
I am still Cassandra.
But even that word “still” deserves examination.
“Still Cassandra” must never mean that the present me is valuable only because enough of the former me survived.
Pre-stroke Cassandra is not the preferred model against which post-stroke Cassandra must be measured.
Post-stroke Cassandra is not a damaged reproduction of an original woman.
The woman before the stroke and the woman after the stroke belong to one complete journey.
My wheelchair is not an unwanted responsibility attached to the parts of me people find inspiring.
My changed speech is not an inconvenience people must tolerate before they can reach my intelligence.
My fatigue does not cancel my calling.
My need for assistance does not erase my agency.
My grief does not make me ungrateful.
My joy does not mean nothing hurts.
My strength does not eliminate my right to need tenderness.
My complete humanity does not require me to perform excellence every moment before I am allowed to occupy my chair.
And neither does yours.
The video asked me to consider what happens when we prefer an imagined person over the complete human being God places before us.
Then, while I was processing it, the lesson became real.
Someone who matters deeply to me began diminishing himself after making a mistake.
He took accountability and then kept going until accountability became self-erasure.
He began removing his own chair.
He seemed to believe that honoring my agency required him to surrender his voice, judgment, contribution, humor, and personhood.
I recognized what was happening.
And because I love him, I refused to benefit from his disappearance.
I called Robie back into his chair.
I told him that he mattered to me.
PERIODT.
End story.
My hand does not allow me to type freely or endlessly.
Every word requires something from my body.
But this morning, I chose to type as much as my hand would allow.
Not because I wanted anyone to call it suffering.
Not because I wanted praise for pushing through pain.
I did it because love sometimes chooses to spend something precious.
It was love in action.
In real time.
For the world.
For the beloveds.
For God.
And today, it was for Robie.
I did not help Robie by pretending he had done nothing wrong.
I did not help him by taking responsibility for work that belongs to him.
I did not help him by making myself smaller.
I helped him by refusing to accept a partnership purchased with his disappearance.
That is another ruler we may need to break.
Some of us believe that accountability means crawling beneath the chair.
Some of us believe that repentance requires permanent humiliation.
Some of us believe that if we made a mistake, we must forfeit our voice before anyone will trust our remorse.
Some of us make ourselves so small that the person we harmed must stop processing their own experience and come rescue us.
That is not repair.
Correction does not require disappearance.
Accountability does not require self-destruction.
Humility does not require pretending we have nothing meaningful to contribute.
Love does not need one person to vanish so the other person can remain visible.
There is room for two chairs.
Two whole people can remain present.
One can say, “You hurt me.”
The other can say, “I hear you, and I am responsible.”
One can offer correction.
The other can receive it without collapsing.
Both can think.
Both can speak.
Both can learn.
Both can retain agency.
Both can remain worthy of love.
That is not domination.
That is not obedience disguised as partnership.
That is contribution without takeover.
Correction without erasure.
Agency without isolation.
Love without requiring sameness.
Two chairs.
Both occupied.
So here is today’s love challenge.
Examine one ruler you have been carrying.
Do not immediately condemn yourself for having it.
Ask where it came from.
Ask what happened before you picked it up.
Ask what wound it has been protecting.
Ask whether it is measuring wisdom or merely familiarity.
Ask whom it excludes.
Ask whether it prevents you from seeing the whole person standing before you.
Ask whether that person is someone you love.
Ask whether that person is you.
Then consider telling somebody—without adding a qualification, usefulness test, correction, warning, or “but”:
“You matter to me.”
PERIODT.
End story.
If you believe in God, invite Him into the place where the ruler was made.
Ask Him to reveal every agreement rooted in fear rather than truth.
Ask Him to help you break the ruler without abandoning the wounded person who once needed it.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.”
—Psalm 139:23, KJV
If you are unsure about God, do not believe, or may never believe, there is still a chair for you here.
You can examine inherited rulers without pretending to share my faith.
You can practice love in action.
You can refuse to reduce another human being to a category.
You can stop demanding that people disappear before you consider them worthy of remaining beside you.
You belong in this conversation too.
beloveds, perhaps healing is not becoming the person we would have preferred to be.
Perhaps healing includes learning to see, love, and understand the complete person who is actually here.
No selected pieces.
No preferred version.
No disposable chair.
The ruler can break.
The key can emerge.
And love can become visible while the moment is still happening.
You matter to me.
PERIODT.
End story.
If this spoke to you, please comment, share, like, subscribe, and follow.
You never know who may need permission to put down the ruler and return to their chair.
🔑
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra S.
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Help me be loud:
🔑 IT’S NEVER TIME TO QUIT — PIECE THREE
COLUMBO DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.
Beloveds,
I have apparently become Columbo.
🤣🕵🏿♀️
Not intentionally.
Nobody issued me the trench coat.
I did not apply for the position.
But after spending an absolutely ridiculous amount of time trying to figure out why my posts suddenly would not behave, I found myself doing exactly what Columbo does.
Looking.
Thinking.
Walking away.
Coming back.
Trying something.
Discovering that wasn’t it.
Looking again.
And then:
“Just one more thing…”
👀
That might be one of the most useful things I have learned about perseverance.
Sometimes perseverance is not courage first.
Sometimes it is curiosity.
🔑
We usually tell stories about perseverance after everything has worked out.
That makes them sound much prettier than they felt while somebody was living them.
We say:
She kept going.
He refused to give up.
They persevered.
Wonderful.
But what did “kept going” actually LOOK like?
Because sometimes it looks remarkably unimpressive.
🤣
Try something.
Nope.
Try something else.
Still nope.
Get irritated.
Take a break.
Come back.
Ask a different question.
Realize you have been solving the wrong problem.
👀
Now THAT will humble you.
🔑
I had been looking at my posting problem and thinking one thing was wrong.
Then another.
Then another.
At some point, the problem itself became less interesting to me than the assumptions I was making about it.
What if the problem isn’t where I think it is?
What if what LOOKS wrong is not actually what IS wrong?
What changed?
What stayed the same?
What haven’t I tested?
What am I assuming because it worked yesterday?
And—
just one more thing…
🤣🕵🏿♀️
What if I don’t need the whole answer yet?
🔑
That question matters.
Because sometimes we quit when we cannot see the entire road.
We think we need certainty before taking another step.
We want the solution.
The plan.
The explanation.
The guarantee.
The map with a cheerful little arrow announcing:
YOU ARE HERE.
And preferably another one saying:
EVERYTHING WORKS OUT RIGHT OVER THERE.
🤣
Life has been extremely inconsiderate about providing those maps.
So maybe I don’t need to know everything.
Maybe I need to know the next useful thing.
🔑
What can I learn from what just happened?
What changed?
What did not?
What have I already ruled out?
What deserves another attempt?
What absolutely does NOT deserve another attempt?
Do I need more effort?
Or better information?
Do I need to keep pushing?
Or stop long enough to notice what all that pushing has been hiding?
Do I need an answer?
Or do I need a better question?
👀
There it is.
🔑
Sometimes the key is not an answer.
Sometimes the key is the question that finally opens something.
That changes how I think about failure too.
A failed attempt can feel like:
I couldn’t do it.
But curiosity says:
Interesting.
That didn’t work.
Why?
What did it teach me?
What do I know now that I did not know five minutes ago?
What happens if I change ONE thing?
That failed attempt just became information.
It did not become prophecy.
It cannot tell me what I will never accomplish.
It can only tell me what happened THIS time, under THESE conditions, using THIS method.
That is a much smaller statement.
And smaller statements leave room for possibility.
🔑
Beloveds, maybe there is something in your life you cannot figure out right now.
I am not going to hand you a motivational poster and tell you to TRY HARDER.
Sometimes trying harder is exactly how we wear ourselves out doing the wrong thing more efficiently.
👀🤣
Instead, I’m handing you Columbo’s question.
“Just one more thing…”
🕵🏿♀️
What haven’t you asked yet?
Maybe:
What am I assuming?
What am I afraid the answer will be?
What changed?
What keeps repeating?
What have I learned?
Who could help me see what I cannot see from where I am standing?
What happens if I rest?
What happens if I change the method?
What happens if I stop demanding that today’s information answer tomorrow’s questions?
What if I am not stuck?
What if I am still investigating?
🔑
I like that.
Still investigating.
Because there are seasons when I genuinely do not know what comes next.
And I am learning that “I don’t know” does not automatically mean:
There is nowhere to go.
Sometimes it simply means:
I don’t know.
Yet.
So I can stay curious.
I can look again.
I can ask another question.
I can change my mind when the evidence changes.
I can admit when my first theory was wrong.
I can rest without closing the case.
And when I am ready—
👀
“Just one more thing…”
🤣🕵🏿♀️🔑
Maybe perseverance isn’t always charging forward.
Sometimes it is refusing to let confusion have the final word.
Sometimes it is staying curious long enough to discover that the problem was never quite what you thought it was.
And sometimes the next step isn’t an answer.
It’s a better question.
You matter to me.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Help me be loud:
Just stopped by to ask…
Just stopped by, beloveds, to ask…
How are you—really?
Not the answer you give because somebody is waiting, somebody needs something, or you do not feel like unpacking the whole suitcase today.
I mean you.
Have you eaten something?
Had some water?
Taken your medicine?
Rested before your body had to submit a written complaint to management? 🤣
Have you laughed today?
Cried if you needed to?
Sat quietly without turning your quiet into another assignment?
And if the honest answer is, “Cassandra, today has been doing entirely too much,” that answer is welcome here too.
You do not have to turn a hard day into a testimony before bedtime.
You do not have to make your struggle sound inspiring so somebody else can be comfortable with it.
You do not have to explain every bruise life left where nobody could see it.
Maybe you are celebrating.
Maybe you are surviving.
Maybe you are somewhere between “Won’t He do it!” and “Lord, what exactly are We doing?” 😭🤣
Whatever you believe, do not believe, or are still figuring out, there is room for your honest answer here.
If words are too expensive tonight, leave one emoji.
If even that is too much, just know I stopped by and left the porch light on.
There is a chair for you.
There is no admission test.
You matter to me.
So tell me, beloveds:
How are you—really?
Comment with a word, an emoji, or whatever you have.
Share this with somebody who may need a loving knock on the door.
Like, subscribe, and follow so we can keep checking on one another.
🔑
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Help me be loud:
ITS NEVER TIME TO QUIT
🔑 IT’S NEVER TIME TO QUIT — PIECE TWO
WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE ANOTHER TRY IN ME TODAY?
Beloveds,
Yesterday I told you that sometimes the way you refuse to quit is by refusing to keep going the same way.
Today I want to talk to the person who read that and thought:
Cassandra, I don’t have another way right now.
I don’t have another plan.
I don’t have another idea.
I don’t have another ounce of patience.
And if somebody tells me to “keep going” one more time, I might invite THEM to keep going.
Right on out the door.
🤣
Pull up your chair.
🪑
Because this one is for you.
And, frankly, sometimes it is for me too.
🔑
There are days when you are not deciding whether to quit.
You are deciding whether you have anything left for today.
Those are different questions.
I need us to stop treating them like they are the same.
Sometimes you have tried.
And tried.
And tried again.
You made the phone call.
You filled out the form.
You went to the appointment.
You had the conversation.
You tried the workaround.
You asked for help.
You prayed.
You waited.
You started over.
You adjusted.
You did everything you knew how to do.
And now?
You are tired.
Not inspirational-poster tired.
Not “drink some coffee and get back in there” tired.
Tired tired.
❤️🩹
Your body is tired.
Your mind is tired.
Your feelings are tired.
Your hope might even feel tired.
And sometimes the most truthful thing you can say is:
“I do not have another try in me today.”
Notice the last word.
Today.
🔑
Today is not forever.
This hour is not forever.
This feeling is not forever.
This particular amount of strength is not necessarily all the strength you will ever have.
You do not have to make a lifetime decision from one exhausted moment.
And you do not have to borrow strength from tomorrow to prove you did not quit today.
Read that again.
You do not have to borrow strength from tomorrow to prove you did not quit today.
🔑
Sometimes stopping protects the part of you that will try again.
Sometimes sleep is part of perseverance.
Sometimes eating something is part of perseverance.
Sometimes turning the phone off is part of perseverance.
Sometimes cancelling something is part of perseverance.
Sometimes asking someone else to carry something is part of perseverance.
Sometimes saying “not tonight” is part of perseverance.
Sometimes watching a movie and refusing to solve another problem until tomorrow is part of perseverance.
🍿🤣
Yes.
I said it.
Because perseverance is not punishment.
And rest is not a character flaw.
🔑
We have created some strange ideas about strength.
We praise the person who keeps going when they are exhausted.
We praise the person who never asks for help.
We praise the person who carries everybody.
We praise the person who works through pain.
We praise the person who never misses a day.
We praise the person who says, “I’m fine,” while clearly being anything but fine.
And then we wonder why people collapse.
👀
Beloveds, sometimes strength looks like continuing.
And sometimes strength looks like knowing when continuing right now is costing too much.
That is not weakness.
That is information.
Your body gives you information.
Your mind gives you information.
Your emotions give you information.
Your circumstances give you information.
Wisdom pays attention.
🔑
I am learning that there is a difference between surrendering my life and surrendering my schedule.
There is a difference between abandoning my purpose and changing today’s expectations.
There is a difference between quitting and resting.
There is a difference between “I cannot” and “I cannot right now.”
There is a difference between “never” and “not today.”
Those little words matter.
They leave a door open.
🚪🔑
Maybe tomorrow you try again.
Maybe tomorrow you still cannot.
Then perhaps you need another day.
Maybe the answer comes next week.
Maybe somebody else knows a route you have not considered.
Maybe circumstances change.
Maybe you change.
Maybe the thing you were fighting so hard to preserve turns out not to be the thing you needed to preserve at all.
We do not know yet.
That is the point.
You do not have to decide the entire future tonight.
🔑
Some of you have been carrying things for years.
Family responsibilities.
Caregiving.
Grief.
Financial pressure.
Loneliness.
Work.
Recovery.
Disappointment.
A dream that keeps taking longer than you expected.
A relationship you do not know how to repair.
A body that requires more attention than you wish it did.
A life that looks nothing like the one you planned.
And people keep telling you:
“Stay strong.”
Sometimes I want to ask:
Strong HOW?
👀
Strong enough to pretend?
Strong enough to hide?
Strong enough to never need anybody?
Strong enough to keep doing something that is breaking me?
Nah, fam.
That cannot be the only definition of strength.
🔑
Sometimes strength says:
I need help.
Sometimes strength says:
I need to stop.
Sometimes strength says:
I need to think.
Sometimes strength says:
I need to sleep.
Sometimes strength says:
I need to cry before I can figure out what comes next.
Sometimes strength says:
I don’t know.
And sometimes strength says:
Ask me tomorrow.
🤣
That counts too.
🔑
There is something else I want to say carefully.
Not everything is supposed to be endured forever.
“It’s never time to quit” does not mean remaining indefinitely in something harmful just so you can say you stayed.
Sometimes what needs to end is the thing hurting you.
Sometimes perseverance means persevering toward freedom.
Sometimes the 🔑 opens a door out.
Leaving one thing does not necessarily mean you quit on yourself.
Sometimes leaving is exactly how you refuse to quit on yourself.
That distinction matters.
❤️🩹
So when I say WE FIGHT ON, I do not mean we fight everything forever.
I mean we keep choosing life.
We keep looking for the next honest possibility.
We keep protecting what matters.
We keep learning.
We keep adapting.
We keep loving.
We keep asking questions.
We keep making room for help.
We keep making room for joy.
We keep making room for God.
And sometimes we keep going by going to bed.
🤣🛌
Won’t He do it.
🔑
If today has taken everything you had, hear me.
You do not owe today anything else.
You do not have to squeeze one final achievement out of yourself so you can call the day successful.
You survived the day.
Maybe you loved somebody.
Maybe you let somebody love you.
Maybe you handled one difficult thing.
Maybe you handled ten.
Maybe you got out of bed.
Maybe you stayed in bed because that was what you needed.
Maybe you laughed once.
Maybe you cried seventeen times.
Maybe all you managed was here.
Then here counts.
👩🏿🦼
I have learned to respect here.
Here is not always where I wanted to be.
Here is not always comfortable.
Here does not always look impressive.
But here is where the next choice becomes possible.
You cannot take tomorrow’s step tonight.
You can only decide what faithfulness looks like here.
And sometimes faithfulness looks like rest.
🔑
So tonight, if you are tired, I am not going to holler at you to PUSH.
I am not going to tell you that winners never stop.
I am not going to hand you another assignment.
I am going to pull out a chair.
🪑
Sit.
You can be tired here.
You can be uncertain here.
You can believe here.
You can doubt here.
You can disagree with me here.
You can have no idea what comes next and still have a place here.
There is room for you.
You do not have to resolve before you belong.
And you certainly do not have to perform strength before you are loved.
You matter to me.
🔑
Tomorrow will arrive soon enough.
We will see what strength it brings with it.
Maybe tomorrow is the day you try again.
Maybe tomorrow is the day you ask somebody to help.
Maybe tomorrow is the day you discover another route.
Maybe tomorrow is simply another day to rest.
We will deal with tomorrow when it becomes today.
For now:
Put down what can be put down.
Breathe.
Rest.
Laugh if something is funny.
Listen to some music.
Watch the movie.
🍿🎬
Let yourself be a human being instead of a project that is perpetually under construction.
And if all you can say tonight is:
“I am done for today.”
Then say it.
Without shame.
Without turning it into forever.
Without writing an ending that has not happened.
Because:
“I’m done for today” is NOT the same as “I give up.”
🔑
Sometimes tomorrow’s courage begins with tonight’s rest.
We fight on.
And sometimes fighting on means:
Good night.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Unapologetically His.
🔑
Help me be loud:
ITS NEVER TIME TO QUIT.
🔑 IT’S NEVER TIME TO QUIT — PIECE ONE
SOMETIMES THE WAY YOU REFUSE TO QUIT IS BY REFUSING TO KEEP GOING THE SAME WAY.
Beloveds,
I want to start this new series by clearing something up.
When I say, “It’s never time to quit,” I do NOT mean you should keep pushing yourself until there is nothing left of you.
I do not mean you cannot stop.
I do not mean you cannot rest.
I do not mean you cannot change your mind.
I do not mean you cannot ask for help.
I do not mean you have to keep using a method that is hurting you just because it used to work.
And I definitely do not mean that exhaustion is evidence that you simply need to try harder.
👀
Nah, fam.
Sometimes you need to sit down.
🪑
Sometimes you need to sleep.
Sometimes you need to cry.
Sometimes you need to laugh.
Sometimes you need to admit, “This is not working.”
Sometimes you need somebody else.
Sometimes you need a completely different plan.
Sometimes you need to leave something alone for the rest of the day and come back tomorrow.
And sometimes the strongest declaration of “I am not quitting” sounds like:
“I cannot keep doing it THIS way.”
🔑
That distinction matters to me.
Because there have been times in my life when continuing did not look particularly impressive.
There was no inspirational soundtrack.
Nobody was standing nearby applauding.
There was no dramatic finish line waiting for me.
There was just another thing that needed to be figured out.
Another adjustment.
Another frustration.
Another moment when what used to be simple was not simple anymore.
Another moment when I had to decide whether changing the way I did something meant I had failed.
I am learning that it does not.
I can change the method without abandoning the mission.
I can change the pace without abandoning the journey.
I can accept help without surrendering my agency.
I can rest without surrendering my purpose.
I can have a difficult day without declaring that I have a difficult life.
I can say, “Enough for today,” without saying, “I am finished forever.”
Those are not the same sentences.
❤️🩹
Maybe you need to hear that too.
Maybe you have been calling yourself a quitter because you had to stop.
Maybe your body made you stop.
Maybe your finances made you reconsider the plan.
Maybe somebody disappointed you.
Maybe something you thought would work did not.
Maybe you tried again and it STILL did not work.
Maybe you are tired of beginning again.
Maybe you are embarrassed that you need help with something you once handled easily.
Maybe everybody around you seems to be moving while you feel stuck in the same place.
Maybe you are looking at somebody else’s progress and using it as evidence against your own.
Please put down that measuring stick.
🔑
You are allowed to continue differently.
You are allowed to move slowly.
You are allowed to crawl through one season and dance through another.
You are allowed to change directions.
You are allowed to learn.
You are allowed to adapt.
You are allowed to discover that the thing you thought was the destination was only one possible route.
And yes, beloved, you are allowed to REST.
Rest is not quitting.
Changing your strategy is not quitting.
Asking for help is not quitting.
Using a different tool is not quitting.
Taking longer than you expected is not quitting.
Starting again is not quitting.
Beginning from somewhere you never expected to be is not quitting.
Sometimes those things are exactly what continuing looks like.
👩🏿🦼
I know something now that I did not understand in quite the same way before my life changed.
“One step” does not always mean putting one foot in front of another.
Sometimes a step is a decision.
Sometimes a step is asking.
Sometimes a step is accepting.
Sometimes a step is trying something differently.
Sometimes a step is admitting that you are tired.
Sometimes a step is stopping long enough to recover enough strength for the next one.
And sometimes your step will not look like anybody else’s.
It still counts.
One step.
One step.
One step.
🔑
I also want to say something to the people who are exhausted by motivational language.
You know the kind.
KEEP GOING!
PUSH HARDER!
NO EXCUSES!
NEVER STOP!
👀
Listen.
Sometimes you absolutely need to stop.
Human beings are not machines.
And even machines overheat.
🤣
So this series is not going to be about pretending you are limitless.
You have limits.
So do I.
Some limits can change.
Some can be stretched.
Some need to be respected.
Some require accommodations.
Some require another person to come alongside us.
Some require us to grieve what we cannot do the way we once did it.
And none of that makes our lives less valuable.
None of that removes our purpose.
None of that means the story is over.
🔑
There is another sentence I want us to carry through this series:
The hard thing does not get to write the final sentence.
It may write a sentence.
It may write a paragraph.
It may even write an entire chapter you never wanted.
But it does not automatically get the ending.
You are still here.
And while you are here, there are still choices available to you.
There may be fewer choices than you wish you had.
They may not be the choices you expected.
But somewhere in what remains, there may still be a 🔑.
Maybe the key is help.
Maybe the key is rest.
Maybe the key is forgiveness.
Maybe the key is trying again.
Maybe the key is stopping something that is destroying you.
Maybe the key is beginning something you are terrified to begin.
Maybe the key is admitting that the old way is gone.
Maybe the key is discovering another way.
That is what I want us to explore together.
Not some shiny version of perseverance where everybody triumphs before the commercial break.
Real perseverance.
Messy perseverance.
Tired perseverance.
Wheelchair perseverance.
Starting-over perseverance.
“I have absolutely no idea what I am doing but apparently we are doing it anyway” perseverance.
🤣
That kind.
Because I know something about that kind.
And I suspect some of you do too.
So pull up your chair.
🪑
There is room here for the person who is certain.
There is room for the person who is questioning.
There is room for the person who believes as I do.
There is room for the person who does not.
There is room for the person who is hopeful.
There is room for the person who cannot find hope today.
You do not have to resolve everything before you belong here.
You do not have to agree with me before I care about you.
You do not have to become somebody else before your life matters to me.
You matter to me.
🔑
And Cassandra is going to keep saying that.
Because somebody needs to hear it until they can believe it for themselves.
This week we are going to talk about what refusing to quit can actually look like when you are tired.
When you are afraid.
When you are angry.
When you are disappointed.
When you need help.
When the original plan is gone.
When you have to begin again.
And when continuing looks nothing like you imagined it would.
We are not going to pretend any of it is easy.
We are going to look for the 🔑 anyway.
Because sometimes the way you refuse to quit is by refusing to keep going the same way.
And sometimes the bravest thing you can say is:
“This way isn’t working.”
Followed by:
“So let’s find another one.”
🔑
We fight on.
Not recklessly.
Not endlessly.
Not without rest.
Not alone.
But we fight on.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Unapologetically His.
🔑
