I’m restless. Not in a bad way. Expectant. Hopeful. Wondering. My mind wonders to places unknown. I want to go. I want to stay. Here. In my now. I am old. Still, I feel young at heart.
The stillness is like a song. It calls to me. To be. Still. Something is stirring. Deep inside.
This is what I texted my poor wombie in the middle of the night. 😂
In my defense, beloveds, I AM restless. Yet, not in a bad way. A thoughtful way, perhaps. A growing way, most definitely.
I happened upon a series called “From Inmate to Roommate” where near strangers accept newly released folk from prison.
They are part of an experimental program to cut down the recidivism rate. Both sides want things to be successful. Both sides appear to have set each up for failure.
The newly released want to roam completely free. The welcoming parties want the former inmates to be cautious.
Both, well intentioned. Neither side is able to see the viewpoint of the other. I hurt for them all.
All sides coming from a hopeful place. Neither side has the lived experience of the other. No one hears. All grow angry/misunderstood.
I find myself feeling like the newly released. I also feel like the party trying to welcome newness, yet potential danger, into my life.
My world is completely different. This has made ME different. There are times when I long for the old me. The old me knew what to do. Okay, she didn’t. The old me knew how to pretend all was well.
This new me will not and does not suffer fools or foolishness lightly. She nearly died in the 🌪 tornado.
I have been restless since the winds died down outside. Truthfully, the winds have ceased to quiet from within ME.
Ah, God. What do I DO with me now?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: This piece is for the restless hearts out there. Be still. God knows. God sees. Even for the unbelievers out there. I pray for unbelievers the most.
Be encouraged. Though your world may seem upside down, you are not alone within it. I got you in prayer. God has us all. I care. So does He.
Ah, beloveds. I am doing my best NOT to despair. I miss my mom. Yesterday would have been my dad’s 93 birthday. I’m an orphan. I FEEL like an orphan.
I feel alone. Still, I am NOT alone. Neither are you, beloveds. I have been praying and asking God what on earth can I SAY that can be of any comfort in times like these?
Then, I remembered that He is 1,000,000,000,000,000 when it comes to handling my/your business! How could I NOT remain hopeful/joyful?
I saw a caption that read “Fear needs chaos to thrive”. So true!
Fear not, beloveds. None of us knows what will happen in the future. None of us can say what shall happen tomorrow.
ALL we can do is to live and to love TODAY. NOW. HERE. Right where we are planted. In the skin we were placed here in…lol.
Be encouraged. Keep being a light. We got this. I’m fixing to have a cup of coffee and a honey bun. Who is up for company?
I have spent a lifetime, beloveds, hauling around weight that never belonged to me. I’m sure you have, as well.
I am working hard to put down as much weight as I can get to.
Not working has soooooooooo been not working for me. I have to find another way to make myself valuable…
Ah.
Aha!
I AM value. No matter what I do or don’t do. I DO matter. No matter that I am currently not working.
Was working, since I was 14, is what made me valuable and worthwhile?
Am I no longer valued or valuable until I can again pay my way?
Ack! It’s hard confronting facts and facing them.
We have all been weighted down by/with the expectations of others. By our own expectations.
I think we are all much too hard on ourselves and on one another. The longer I live, the more I learn that I know very little about a lot of things.
I’m working on ME. I’m pointing the finger back at ME. I am expecting ME to continue taking the high road. I’m encouraging ME to keep on moving FORWARD.
I have been under the weather for the past few days. I have things I have been wanting to do. I’m trying to cut myself some slack.
Put down the weight, beloveds. We don’t HAVE to run ourselves ragged. We do NOT have to drag around other folk’s feelings and work. We are NOT responsible for how other folks live their lives. Other folk are NOT responsible with how we choose to live our lives.
Things truly will come out in the wash. All we need to do is our best. Period. The outcome is not up to us.
Uh, oh! The bathroom calleth. Again.😳🤷♀️
Take real good care of your tender heart.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Back away from the guilt. Lift up your head. Don’t be ashamed of your life. You have done your best.
The mistakes you have made are just that: Mistakes. So what? Fix what you can. Mitigate what you can’t fix. Apologize to both parties. Move on. How LONG will you keep bearing weight for things looooonnnggg past?
Punishing yourself today for things done a million yesterday’s ago serves and saves no one. Get going. You have thangs to do.
It’s easy to FEEL left out. This 🌎 is a big place. Yet, it’s smaller than any of us know.
I have been asking God and Life WHY I was spared from the 🌪 tornado that was trying desperately to destroy everything around me? I have not been given that answer.
Maybe, just maybe, I was left here to keep sharing this ridiculous blog, with MY stupid words with whomever is bored/ridiculous enough to swing by and be told they are loved…by a stranger?!😳🤔
Until I find out why, beloveds, I am going to keep on doing and being my why. Why? Because someone needs to KNOW they are loved and not alone.
SOMEONE needs to hold the door 🚪 open and welcome folk to come in.
Come on in, beloveds. LIVE! Life is waiting for YOU. Life is waiting to act on your behalf.
What are you dreaming of? What do you hope to do? Get started. Today. You can do it. You CAN. You WILL!
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I’m 56 and FINALLY launching out. Who is coming with me? Let’s go!!
Stop taking yourself so lightly. Stop dismissing your gifts. Stop dismissing the still, small voice that is whispering for you to try. Just try.
You were and are not on the outside looking in. Dive in. Enjoy your life. Embrace the hard.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 