Category: Inspiration

I promise.

God: Give it to me, beloved.

Me: I’m afraid.

God: Give it Me.

Me: I’m afraid, of You.

God: Whatever for, beloved?

Me: You may not give it back. You may hurt it.

God: May I have it, beloved? It belongs to you. I will care for it for you.

Me: Do You promise?

God: I promise.

Me: K…here:

❤️‍🩹

trusting Him,

Cassandra

Note: I am listening to Leona Lewis ‘Footsteps In The Sand’. Today has been bittersweet. I have found myself grieving terribly, the loss of my dad. Strangely, I can almost here mom saying ‘It will be okay’. You would think this would make me doubly sad as I have been missing mom so much it I almost a physical ache.

On top of all, work has been, whew, work as my manager and myself have been fighting and losing with the highest levels of tech management.

It’s hard to work, to fight, to stay positive when life and circumstances are positively kicking one’s arse.😳

I have learned to continue trying and believing and fighting and hoping and standing no matter what is going on. Whew!

I had to force grief and sad out of bed. I told them since they are sticking with me they are going to work with me!

Get up!

Turn on the lights!

Make some coffee!

Work!

Encourage someone!

Let someone know you are struggling!

Get up on God’s Lap and let Him know how you feel!

Okay! Okay!

I arose.

I turned on the lights.

I made some coffee ☕.

I went to work.

I encouraged as many as my voice could reach.

I let folk know I was struggling.

I got up, got on God’s Lap and told Him how I felt.

God: Give it to me, beloved…

to be continued,

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note 2: I can’t remember the last time I felt soooooooo helpless. Oh, yea, it was the day they buried mom…*sigh*

Be encouraged, beloveds. This too shall pass. When going through the hard remember:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

YOU are the impact.

I was sad.

Pitiful.

Forlorn.

Why?

Because I have always wanted to make an impact. I thought I could. I thought I would.

The older I have grown, the smaller my impact looks. To ME.

I look at my life and all I can see is…

My try.

Ha!

I told God I was no longer going to swing for the fence. I told Him I would make my impact from my small corner of the world.

I looked at my corner of the world and felt…

Ridiculous.

Ha!

God told me to look again. I looked. I saw…

You.

Aha!

God: You are the impact. Keep on being…

YOU!

I shall.

being an impact,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Your life IS making an impact. Keep being you. You have no idea how many lives you ARE impacting with your love, your empathy, your try.

I was just complaining, er, praying about the lack of opportunities I had to make an impact. I was tearfully telling God how embarrassing it was that I actually wrote to The Universe and was ghosted BY THE UNIVERSE!

I was hurt, I told God. I also sadly informed Him that I was terribly hurt that even He appeared to have scoffed at me when I offered me, in love, to a world who could give two hoots.

Me: ALL I want(ed) is to make an impact.

God: You are.

Me: I don’t SEE any movement. I don’t SEE any impact!

God: You are.

Me: I am what.

God: The impact that I need. The impact that you seek. The impact The Universe has been waiting for.

Me: Ah.

God: Aha! Your try is all I have ever asked for. Just try. We shall do the rest.

Me: What shall you DO with/for me?

God: Keep asking.

I will.

Asking for A Friend.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!

Ah, God: Don’t be afraid of the dark.

https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQEwHsjT1DOmR4lzSpI4FWC_JUiPNvFyj&si=EgnJci6wR1ROnogn

So, beloveds, grief and sad just would not leave me alone. They chased me. ALL day. ALL DAY!

Enough!

Since they refused to leave, I snatched up my trusty blue screwdriver, mixed up a playlist and serenaded grief and sad.

They took off a couple songs 🤔 hhm. Am wondering if it was my singing or my joy that has run them off.

N-E-Waze, I have lost my dance partners and was wondering if anyone could use some sad and grief killers. If so, help yourself to the playlist above, snatch up a screwdriver and let some light in your darkness.

singing badly,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. You are loved and you are not alone…

Make YOUR decision.

😳

😭

🫣

🤐

🤯

OMG!!!!!

WHY?!!!!!

Whew!

*stamps foot*

😡🤡💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💣💥💢💯🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Okay, beloveds. I can be calm now. I think. It is past the horrors and wonders of The Championship game where some won, some lost and some COACHES MADE THE DUMBEST DECISIONS IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY MAKING!

WHY IN THE FRESH HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!!!!!!!🥺🤯😡😭😱😖😣😩😫

Scuze me, beloveds. I’ma need another cup of coffee ☕ to soothe my annoyed soul. I can not tell you how loudly I screamed, to mom in heaven, over the dumb…*pout*…*Cassandra puts on some horrid elevator music 🎶 and takes a commercial break*.

Sooooooo, now the world is up in arms. Why? Because one coach followed his heart, which lead to disaster. Another team, did NOT follow their normal strategy, which also led to disaster.

Two teams lost by choosing strategies but championed and railed against.

I must admit, I was frustrated with the coach who went with his gut. I understood, though. I respected his willingness to go for it even as the entirety of the world was yelling NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!

I can also admit to being frustrated with the other team who played completely out of it’s character. I think they were more afraid of what folk thought about HOW they played. I wished they would have just played and lived with the outcome.

Which brings me to you, beloveds. And, me. I have learned to just be me. Just me. I am okay with me. I like me. I don’t have to try and be someone I am not. Whew!

Keep being YOU! The world is going to judge you no matter how you live your life. So what? Respect folk. Love folk. Honor their try. Then do YOU!

Make your own decisions. Don’t worry about who will accept you or not. This world is so busy clout chasing it has forgotten the true purpose of life.

What’s that, you ask?

Great question!

Keep asking.

making my own decisions,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be you. Make your own choices. Embrace the outcome of your efforts. Be encouraged.

You are loved

You are NOT alone.

❤️‍🩹My heart is being mended.

Ow!❤️‍🩹

Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

This Bible scripture describes me. Basically It means when our hope(dreams) are deferred(delayed/put on hold), we be tripping(frustrated/sad/mad/annoyed/disappointed/discouraged).

I am heartsick. Meaning, my heart is sick of:

Waiting.

Hoping.

Waiting.

Hoping.

Waiting!

Ack!!!!!!

So, I have tucked my heartsick heart, into 🛏 bed whilst I continue to hope and to wait. Ah, God. Ack!

Be encouraged, beloveds. It’s okay to get hearsick from time to time. We got thangs to do and just want to be doing those thangs NOW!

I told Doritoes to get gone and to take Lay’s with them! I told comfort eating I shall find my comfort in my try, in God, in faith, in joy.

I told me that everything WILL be okay. It will.

I told my twin that my yipppeees have appeared to have deserted me. My yipppees can no longer tolerate living outside my realized dream(s). I am uncertain HOW to live without my yipppeees. I wonder if they are coming back.

Ah, God, my yipppeees have gone. I think they went in search of my dreams. My yipppeees can no longer sit idly by and watch my heart cry from being so heartsick ❤️‍🩹

Where are my dreams, God? Life is short. 55 says for You to hurry. I am finding it harder to keep faking it til I make it.

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Embrace your life. Enjoy your life. Even if your life currently remains void of your dreams. I have taken another day off. Financially, ow. Emotionally, needed. I just couldn’t do my work day. Not today. Not with hope deferred still. Maybe tomorrow.

It’s okay to be weary. Rest. Then, continue taking one step. Just one. Then try another. Ah, God, please hurry. We got thangs we would like to try and do.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!

My borders are just too small.

My borders are just too small.

Fresh hell.

I have outgrown these walls.

Crap.

I stretch out and can feel the sides closing in.

Dammit.

Damned.

Doomed?

To a life limited by walls I can’t break free of?

Shhhheeeeeeeeuuuuuuttt!

I tell myself I will not look at these damned borders.

I decorate them.

I tell myself I can learn to live within them.

Ack!

These blasted walls have become a coffin which have buried my hopes and dreams.

I’m tired of snatching them back. I tell myself myself it would do them a service to let them go.

It appears I may not be up to the task.

I whisper to myself that maybe I can learn to live without my yippppeees. My yippppeees call to me, on the other side of my too small borders.

Universe, what do I do with me now?

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: There are days, like today, when I would dearly love to tell my hopes and dreams to shove it!

I would normally pass out encouragement here. I’m empty, today. Someone pass out some love would you please? Let someone know they can and will make it. Let someone know they are loved and not alone. Tell them to be encouraged.

Make sure to tell them to never, ever give up. Maybe give them a hug. Perhaps offer them a prayer. Ah, God. These days have not been fun or funny. Still, I hope…

This sucks. And, it’s okay.

Me: This sucks.

God: It’s okay.

Me: I MEAN it! This absolutely sucks! I am TIRED, God. Tired of wondering where the world You are. Tired of wondering what I am doing wrong. I am just tired!

God: It’s okay.

Me: It’s NOT okay.

God: I know. And, that’s okay.

Me: Fresh hell.

God: I know.

Me: Why won’t You MOVE for ME?

God: Great question(s). Keep asking.

Me: I’m TIRED of asking questions!

God: I know. And, it’s okay.

Me: I want to take off my big girl panties, pull on some pull ups and sit in Your Lap.

God: Why don’t you?

Me: Because, I have to be strong.

God: May I be The Strong One?

Me: ‘Kay.

*Cassandra puts down burdens she can no longer carry, climbs onto The Father’s Lap and lay her head upon His Shoulder.*

resting with A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This has been a rough day. So much so I cried all over my boss. Virtually. I was done fighting with tech leadership over system issues having nothing to do with me. My boss understood and asked if I wanted to take the rest of the day off. I did. I am.

I just stopped by long enough to tell you to be encouraged, beloveds. Talk to someone if you are struggling. Don’t carry things alone. Know there are folks who care about your life. Stop showing the world your best, all the time. There are times when you need to allow folk to see you at your seeming worse.

Keep believing. Rest, when you need to. You don’t always have to be the strong one. You don’t always have to be strong. It’s okay. You CAN make it through your tough moments. They are but moments. Tough ones, no doubt. But, tough times really do pass. It just feels as if they never will.

I have been shaking myself from a heavy cloak of grief. A friend’s father passed away. Dad’s birthday was day before yesterday. I miss my parents. I’m tired of battling alone. Yet not.

I CHOOSE to remain hopeful. I CHOOSE to remain joyful. This may seem incongruous with grief but it’s not. Grief comes to visit. But, we are the ones who determines how long it is welcome and under what terms it can stick around.

There is ALWAYS something sweet we can find, in our day. Look for it. I found a bit of sweetness in being able to share my tears with a boss who truly understood my frustrations.

Be encouraged. Loved someone. Starting with you. You are loved and NOT alone. Keep on being you.

What do you do when life won’t give you a pillow?

Ow!

Being stuck, beloveds, between a rock and a hard place…

Hurts.

Ow!!

I want to be angry with God.

I want to be livid with Life.

I want to be furious with The Universe.

Why?

Because, the damn hard place is just tooooooooooo hard and none will offer me a pillow.

A pillow to:

Soften, the hard.

Lessen the pain of the wait.

Lighten the load of the weight.

The weight of:

In the meantime.

Not now.

Not yet.

Not you.

Ow, God, why not now?

Ah, Life, why not yet?

Oh, Universe, why not me?

I’ve been looking for a pillow. Just a small one.

What do you do when Life won’t give you a pillow?

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I told God I am sick to death of living in the meantime. Just sick of it! What am I doing? Living, of course. In the meantime. I’ve got thangs to do. As do you. Keep going.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!

Let your no mean no.

No!

I will no longer:

Put myself, laugh.

Put myself, down.

Put myself, off.

Because everyone else was:

More, important.

More, necessary.

More, loveable.

No!

I will no longer:

Think my dreams, any less, worthy.

Think me, any less, worthwhile.

Think, my heart, worthless.

No!

I will no longer:

Count me, last.

Count me, out.

Count me, as anything other than the priceless got I am!

No!

NO!

NO!!

Every day, I let folk know they are loved and not alone. And, every day, I ask God, I ask The Universe, if….ah, if…*sigh*

asking,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Stand up for YOUR heart, beloveds. Your time WILL come. When? I asked God for it to be today. Who knows what the day may bring?

Be encouraged. Love someone. Starting with you.

I must admit, my heart a bit heavy. I grieve for all who are waiting on love and dreams to arrive. The waiting feels interminable, at times. In the meantime, love on you. I have been enjoying some days of true peace and quiet.

I have also bewildered those who were used to me being there every second of every day. I have held to my no so I can have a bit of me solitude time.

Don’t let folk guilt you out of your me time. If they truly care, they will leave you be. If not, time to part ways. Either way, you win. I’m not suggesting kicking everyone in your life to the curb. Just suggesting you park it…lol

Do the dumb thing.

Do the dumb thing. You know that thing that god and the universe have been trying to get you to do forever.

The dumb thing that will have you go out on a ledge.

The dumb thing that will have you vulnerable.

The dumb thing that will have you alone.

The dumb thing that will have you acting alone.

The dumb thing that can change your life forever for the good.

The dumb thing back and change your life in ways you could never imagine.

The dumb thing that leaves you breathless every time you think about doing it.

Yea, beloveds, THAT dumb thing!

I’m dumb enough to believe maybe I can. Who knows? Maybe I will!

doing the dumb thing,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Do the dumb thing with me, beloveds. Who knows what dreams we can make come true? I’m finally ready to find out. Okay, maybe not ready but willing…lol. Let’s go peeps! We got thangs to do.

One step

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!