Category: Inspiration

In case no one told you today…

So, my lonely will NOT leave me alone, today.

I feel like such a small thing, in a huge world.

Yet, I KNOW that I am loved. Feels good. There was a time where I didn’t believe I COULD be loved, let alone, loved. Me?! Who knew…lol.

I spend my days, now, letting folks know they are loved and not alone. In hopes, they may also KNOW, one day, how truly valuable their life is. It makes me sad, truly, how many folks are walking around feeling ‘less than. I do my best to snatch ‘less from folk. Ha!

Be encouraged, wouldja please?

Asking for A Friend.

I am supposed to be working. Just felt the need to take the rest of the day off and encourage some folk, today.

Life is soooooooooooooooooooooo short, beloveds. Get out there and live. Make a friend or two. Start with me, if you don’t have someone to yak with. Email me, sometime.

Yes, there will ALWAYS be folk who will try and take advantage of you. Don’t let that stop you from reaching out. Weed those dummies out and keep it moving. I have told several dummies that I am NOT desperate. NO, I am not sending you money to help get your beloved brother/mother/child from a foreign country and you will pay me back later. Smh.

Be encouraged. Tell discouragement to kick rocks. It is lying to you. You SHALL be loved. You SHALL experience great things. Healing takes time. Give yourself time to heal and grow.

In the meantime, hang out with me, here. Start your own blog. Read a book. Get some fresh air. DO something. Open your mouth. Folk will care for you. They will.

Have an awesome day, okay?

your homie,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Heart check Friday.

It’s Friday!

YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!

We have done our work, beloveds, now it is time to enjoy the weekend.

Keep it moving. You have done your all, right?

Stop giving yourself such a hard time!

You are more than, your job.

You are more than, your wallet.

You are more than, your effort.

You are more than, your gifts.

You are more than, your talents.

Your life, YOUR life, is soooooooooooooooooooooooo worthy of love, acceptance, beauty.

Beloveds, know ye not you are ever on His Mind? There is NOTHING you could EVER do that would separate you, from His Love for you?

Enjoy this day. Seize these moments.

Do you!

BE you.

As YOU are.

There is NOTHING you need to add, to you, to make you more precious than you already are!

Take, a breath.

Keep pursuing, your dreams.

How long will they take?

Who cares!

being about being about it,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Enjoy, what you have, NOW. Yes, keep working towards the things you desire. In the meantime, you have enough, right here, right now, in this moment. I got your back(s), in prayer. And the people said:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t let your past keep you from enjoying your present.

Don’t let your past keep you from enjoying your present.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I went OFF on myself, yesterday. Egads, a sista went OFF, on a sista, yesterday! Whew.

I had been lamenting, carrying on, basically acting ten kinds of fool, remembering the time I was left alone, in the middle of the football field, cap and gown on, after my high school graduation. Other graduates had family celebrating and hugging them. As for me and my twin, well, our fam just…*shrug*…left us, alone.

They said they thought our dad would be doing something. Apparently, dad thought THEY, would be doing something. Sadly, terribly sadly, NO ONE did ANYTHING, for sis and I. I was, embarrassed. I was, devastated. I was 17, alone, embarrassed and sad. How sad.

Then, on our 18th birthday, nothing was done. Again. Again! Again, I was sad. Terribly, sad. I was, devastated. I was, embarrassed. I was 18, alone, embarrassed and sad.

I have never forgotten, those times. They shaped, who I was. They shaped, how I thought about, me. They shaped, how I thought the world, thought about me. They shaped, how I thought God, thought about me.

After that, I hid my heart. I closed myself off from truly hoping/feeling/believing I could/would ever TRULY, be loved. By, God. By, Life. By, family. By, friends. By, me.

It took a long time, beloveds, for me to BELIEVE that God truly did love ME. Me! The me, who was left, on a football field. The me, who was left, alone, on her 18th birthday.

I love me, now. I loved me, then. I just allowed myself to color my own view(s), of me, based upon what did happen. Based upon, what did NOT happen.

Coming up on 55, though, I found myself wanting to be alone. Couldn’t/didn’t understand why. Until, I asked myself, why. I thought about those two instances, and told myself I did NOT want to be devastated like that, again. Particularly, on my 55th birthday!

Then, I told myself to shut up, already! Those things happened DECADES AGO!

I absolutely REFUSE to waste one more second, lamenting about that stupid football field!

Life is short. I am going to enjoy my 55th birthday. I am going to love on me. Jesus going to kick it, with me. The Father is going to be with me, on my big day. My twin, my wombie, shall have coffee with me, virtually, as we live in different states. We shall laugh. We shall rejoice. If we are granted that 55th year. Who knows what the coming days, may bring.

Life is short. None of us knows our times. This is said not to be morbid. Just stating the obvious/facts.

Live, your life. Leave the past, in the past. Move, on. Move, forward. Forgive those, who left you in your field. Forgive, yourself for using too many moments, lamenting over what was. Keep it moving, beloveds. We got thangs to do.

yours friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: How on earth are you needing a note, after that?! And the people said:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t let the past of others, dictate your present.

The more I live, beloveds, the more I am seeing how I have allowed the paths/past, of others, to dictate MY path/present.

I did things, because mom did them like that. I viewed things, because dad/church/folk, viewed them, like that.

I questioned, not.

I dared, not.

Why?

Because, I was told it was bad to:

Challenge.

Ask.

Try, outrageous things.

Question, God.

Challenge, “authority”.

I was forever being told, as a loud, black woman, to shut up and keep my head down.

Why?

In order to be viewed, sadly, as one of the ‘good’ black folk. Meaning, one who did NOT make waves. One, who did not make folk, white folks to be real, feel ‘uncomfortable’.

So, I:

Kept, my mouth shut.

Kept, my head down.

Kept, it moving.

Understand this: I love white folks. They are:

Amazing.

Loving.

Loyal.

Caring.

That said,…will save those thoughts for another day. Just know, I know folk are just doing all they know. Folks fear what they don’t understand. I have been called, all my life, an ‘angry, black woman’. For the most part, I am not that. At times, I AM angry. Just look up mortality rates on black women, giving birth, and you will get angry/sad as well.

Anywho, I am learning, STILL, how important it is for me to continue to ask ME, how I feel, what I think, what I hope for, what I dream of, how far I will go, how far I will NOT go, who I will go with, Who I will go with, who I will NOT go with, when I will go, when I won’t go.

Not just for me. For, you. For, Life. For, The Universe. For, Jesus. For, friends. For, family. For, everyone/everything!

Ah.

Aha!

Life has been especially tough. I appreciate it. It is bringing out the best, in me. I think…lol.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Your hard SHALL, of a surety, bring you awesome gifts. No matter what you go through. Amazing. Life is amazing. Surprisingly, I find this stranger in my bed, amazing.

amazed,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, really? By now, you should be sending me notes, eh? Get on out there, beloveds, and LIVE. YOUR life. Be encouraged and know you ARE loved. A lot. Jesus told me so…*wink*…

It’s okay to say.

It’s okay to say, I won’t.

It’s okay to say, I can’t.

It’s okay to say, I don’t want to.

It’s okay to say, thats enough!

It’s okay to say, I hurt.

It’s okay to say, I am lonely.

It’s okay to say, I am not strong.

It’s okay to say, no.

It’s okay to say, yes.

It’s okay to say, I’ll think about it.

It’s okay to say, leave me be.

It’s okay to say, I need you.

It’s okay to say, I miss you.

It’s okay to say, I don’t understand.

It’s okay to say, I miss mom.

It’s okay to say, I’m angry you left, mom.

It’s okay to say, God, I’m afraid.

It’s okay to say, what in the fresh hell was that??!!

It’s okay to say, what will 55 bring?

It’s okay to say, will my posse ever ride, to my rescue?

It’s okay to say…

Hhmm.

It IS okay to say!

Ah.

Aha!

saying,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s okay to say, beloveds Speak.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Deliciously afraid.

I’m afraid.

It’s delicious!

I have never felt so alive, in the whole, of my life!

Why?

Because, I feel as though my heart, is standing at the precipice. Of…

Of?

I have NO idea.

Yet, I stand.

Breathless.

Breathtakingly, afraid.

It’s delicous!

I used to fear, such feelings. Heck, I used to fear feeling, at all. I only allowed myself to feel the ‘good’ feelings. Feelings such as loss, embarrassment, grief, discouragement, and the like, were NOT allowed. Nope. Nada. Nary, a one.

Thankfully, God/Life/The Universe, were smart enough to love me until I learned it was OKAY, CRUCIAL, NECESSARY, to feel what I feel. Whatever, those feels, may be.

Yes, it’s important not to allow your feels, to run your life. It is also important to allow yourself to feel. So, you can understand what truths, what lies, what what in the fresh hells, you are telling yourself.

See, we all have a tape player constantly feeding us messages. We have to ensure what we are listening to!

Last night, I cried. I was telling myself I was:

Old.

Past, my prime.

Then, I told discouragement to skeedaddle. It had done it’s work. I gently took my heart, into my hand, and loved on, me. I told myself the truth:

I am loved.

I am NOT alone.

I CAN.

I SHALL.

I CHOOSE.

I will love.

I will care.

I will try.

deliciously afraid,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is changing for us, beloveds, isn’t it? Terrifying. Exciting. Sad. Glorious. Joyous. Disappointing. Uplifting. Challenging. Hard. Sooooooooooooo many things, all at once.

Keep LIVING, beloveds. Embrace, ALL. Even, the scary. Even, the hard. Even, the..*shrug*. This morning, I forced my way, into my life. No, hiding. Not for me. Life is much too short.

Who is this stranger, in my bed? Where, did she come from? Was she ALWAYS there? Has she ALWAYS been waiting for me, to show up, for me? I stare at her, in awe. She, seems so unafraid. As for me, suddenly, I find myself weak and timid. What do I do with me now, beloveds? Asking for A Friend.

I alomst forgot!

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

I was so busy being thankful, I forgot I was so sad.

I am thankful.

Grateful.

Awesomely, blessed.

Nah, I ain’t got millions, in the bank.

Yet, I have banked millions, of love, and have given away, EVERY last ounce of it.

Nope, I don’t have a bajillion, followers. I have a few peep who, amazingly, are amused/amazed, I hope, just a wee bit, by me.

No, I am not a looker. I am plain. Plain wonderful, if you ask me!

I am thankful.

Grateful.

Awesomely, blessed, am I,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Be sure to tell yourself the truth. Think on your gratefuls. The what the hell was thats, will take care of themselves.

55: Today, I cried.

55 is staring me down.

I cried.

I feel as though, I have failed her.

I don’t have much, in my mind, to present to her.

Ah, 55, I thought I would have sooooooooooooooooooo much more, to my life, than I have now.

Yes, I have helped a whole heapin’ lotsa folk. Yea, I have encouraged, the whole damned world. Yeppers, I have raised a bajillion real and claimed, nieces, nephews and cousins.

Yes, I have leaped tall buildings, in single bounds. To help others, achieve their dreams.

What of MINE, 55?

What of…me?!

Ah, I’m afraid, 55, of lifting my head. I’m afraid, 55, of looking. Looking into the eyes of God, of Life, of The Universe. I have done my best. Yet, look at these meager offerings!

I’m annoyed, 55. With, myself. With, my feels. I want to tell myself to stop whining.

Suck it up, Cassandra!

You have what you have!

*sigh*

I have run out of fruit snacks.

It feels as though I have run, out of time.

Have I, 55?

Is there time, for me to be victorious, still?

Today, 55, I cried.

Today, I cry out.

Who shall answer, I wonder?

wondering,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Ask me why, but I feel as I did when mom passed away. NO earthly idea why. I’m…*shrug*.

Heart check Wednesday.

It’s Wednesday.

Again.

*sigh*

The closer I get, to turning 55, the more tired I seem to be. Not sure why, really. Sleep has been aluding me. Thoughts scurrying round, every which a way. Not sure why…*shrug*.

I find myself:

Wondering.

Wandering.

Wandering around, whilst wondering.

About everything.

EVERYTHING!!

It has been exhausting.

55 seems to be taunting me, for some blasted reason.

Leave me alone!

I want to go back, almost.

Back to when my eyes were not opened.

Okay, I don’t want to go back. Just unsure of what lies ahead, moving forward.

55, say what you need to say, already, so I can get some sleep.

I’m tired.

wondering what the fresh hell,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have NO idea WHY I just want to hide, beneath piles and miles of comforter in order to gain comfort. Last night, I was sad. I told myself I will be 55, in a few weeks, yet don’t have a posse, of my own. Not, really, I say. If I stopped blogging, tomorrow, the world won’t stop rotating, on it’s axis. Just another blog. Just another lady, growing older, who has checked out.

Of course, I am not going to. Just wondering what is the point, to ME. Am not depressed or sad. I truly am wondering, what goof like moi, has contributed in her almost 55 years. My pile does not look like much, to the world. All I had to give, mostly, was me. Was me enough? Asking for a friend…*sigh*…

Egads, what a semi depressing(?) piece. That’s okay, though. It’s honest…keep going…

Keep going.

I’m tired.

I don’t want to.

I will, anyway.

tired but keeping it moving,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This week has ALREADY been a struggle. I don’t want to do ANY of the day. I have been arguing, forever, about staying in bed and not working, today. Had myself half convinced. Told myself to shut up and to keep it moving.

There are just time, beloveds, where we just have to keep it moving. Period. I have told me lazy to shut up and get a move on. Lazy told me to kick rocks. The Universe told us both to shut up and keep it moving. Keep going. Drag your tired into the shower, with you. We got thangs to do. You are loved. You are not alone.