Now, before somebody thinks Cassandra has finally lost what little sense she had left, let me explain. 😂
I didn’t tell hard it wasn’t hard.
I told hard it wasn’t God.
Sit with that for a minute.
Because I am not going to lie to you and pretend everything that has happened to me has been easy.
It hasn’t.
I’m not going to tell you I haven’t cried.
I have.
I’m not going to tell you I haven’t gotten tired, frustrated, angry, disappointed, scared, or just plain sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I have.
Hard is HARD.
And sometimes faith doesn’t change that fact.
Sometimes prayer doesn’t immediately change the circumstances.
Sometimes you can believe God with everything in you and still wake up tomorrow facing the same thing you were facing yesterday.
I know something about that.
I am taking care of myself.
I’m listening to my doctors.
I’m preparing to begin outpatient therapy.
And I also understand that I may have to live with some residual symptoms from my stroke unless and until God heals me.
Maybe He will.
I believe He can.
But Beloveds, I also have to tell you something that matters deeply to me:
I may not get the miracle I want.
And God will still be God.
I will still be blessed.
I will still love Him.
I will still trust Him.
And I will not blame God for an outcome I don’t like.
Life came for me.
Hard came for me.
I told hard, “HA!”
Not because hard didn’t hurt.
Not because I won every battle.
Not because everything went back to the way it used to be.
Not because I got everything I prayed for.
HA! is not denial.
HA! is me refusing to give hard a promotion it did not earn.
Hard does not get to become God.
Hard does not get to decide whether I laugh today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I love today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I write today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I dream today.
Hard does not get to decide whether I LIVE today.
And perhaps that is what living your best life really means.
Maybe your best life isn’t the life you would have chosen.
Maybe it isn’t the life you planned.
Maybe living your best life means taking the life you have—
and living the mess out of it anyway.
Laugh while something still hurts.
Call somebody you love.
Watch the movie.
Play the music.
Eat something delicious.
Write the thing.
Go to therapy.
Ask for help.
Take the nap.
Cry when you need to cry.
Start again when you’re able.
Sit still when you’re not.
Find something beautiful in a day that wasn’t particularly beautiful.
And please hear me:
You do not have to defeat hard before you start living again.
🔒🔑
Hard may change the lock.
Hard doesn’t get to hide every key.
Maybe your hard is illness.
Maybe it’s grief.
Maybe somebody broke your heart.
Maybe you’re lonely.
Maybe money is funny and the bills aren’t laughing.
Maybe you’re caring for somebody and you’re exhausted.
Maybe you’re beginning again at 27.
Or 57.
Or 87.
Maybe you’ve been praying about something so long that you don’t even know what else to say.
Maybe today you don’t feel strong.
Then don’t perform strength for me.
Cry.
Rest.
Call somebody.
Get some help.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
And when you’re able—
LIVE.
Because whatever came for you does not automatically get the rest of you.
AND NOW, MY 🥜 EATERS…
😂🥰
Come on in.
Yes, YOU.
Pull up your chair.
You already know I’m not about to sneak an altar call into paragraph six. 😂
You don’t have to believe what I believe for this next part to belong to you.
I believe in God.
I believe Jesus is Lord and Savior.
I believe God can heal me.
That’s Cassandra.
I’m not hiding my faith to make anybody comfortable.
But I’m also not requiring you to borrow my faith before I’ll pull out a chair for you.
So keep your peanuts. 🥜😂
Sit down.
I gotchu and gotcha.
Because whether you believe in God, don’t believe in God, aren’t sure about God, are angry with God, walked away from church a long time ago, or have never walked through the doors—
hard has probably introduced itself to you too.
And here’s what I want you to hear:
Whatever happened to you is something that happened to you.
It does not have to become everything you are.
You don’t have to call that God.
I do.
You don’t have to explain your survival the way I explain mine.
You don’t even have to understand it yet.
But please—
LIVE.
That’s it.
That’s my grand agenda today.
No sorting table.
No religious prerequisite.
No test at the door.
There are chairs.
🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑
Come sit down.
Believers, bring your faith.
🥜 eaters, bring your peanuts.
Those of you somewhere in between, bring your questions.
Everybody bring your keys. 🔑
We’ve got some living to do.
Because sometimes the miracle isn’t that everything changed today.
Sometimes today is simply the day you realized:
I AM STILL HERE.
And being here means there is still something available to me.
Love.
Laughter.
Friendship.
Music.
A conversation.
A sunset.
A ridiculous movie.
A good cry.
Another beginning.
Another chance to say I love you.
Another opportunity to tell somebody else:
I gotchu.
And another day to LIVE.
So Hard…
I see you.
I felt you.
I have the scars to prove you were here.
I’m not pretending you weren’t hard.
But you apparently misunderstood something.
You thought because you changed some things, you got everything.
You thought because life didn’t turn out exactly as I planned, I would stop living it.
You thought because my body changed, Cassandra disappeared.
You thought because I cried, joy packed its bags.
You thought because I hurt, love left.
You thought because I don’t know exactly what tomorrow holds, I couldn’t enjoy TODAY.
Baby…
HA! 😂💃🏿
I’m still here.
Still loving.
Still laughing.
Still believing.
Still writing.
Still dreaming.
Still taking care of myself.
Still finding 🔑s.
Still pulling out chairs.
Still loving me some Beloveds.
And still living.
Life came for me.
Hard came for me.
I TOLD HARD, “HA!”
And whatever came for you, Beloved—
please don’t hand it the rest of your life.
I gotchu and gotcha.
And God has us all. ❤️
Unapologetically His.
Unapologetically yours.
loving me some you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Writing ✍️🏿 this actually brought tears to my eyes, beloveds. I dream of raising both arms in praise. I want to run again. I want to drive 🚗 again.
I want to live on my own. This stroke makes that impossible, for now.
Now, I have to literally plan EVERY step. That gets exhausting. It’s why folks who have had a stroke take many naps. Even my try gets exhausted fast.
Still, I am grateful for my life. Even on my harshest health days.
This morning, I told lazy to get up. Lazy, laughter, Jesus and I folded my laundry and put it away.
Whew!
I made a promise to myself that I would take no breaks until the last piece was folded and put away.
In total, it has taken almost four hours to complete my routine.
I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.
Enjoy yourself. Embrace your life. It’s the only one we get.
In case no one has told you today: I love you and so does He. Be patient. Be resourceful. Be resolute.
Be challenged. Be adventurous. Be…
Heckamiah! Be as many things as you want!😎🥰😂👀💃🏿💯
Take care of your heart as it is precious and priceless to ABBA, to me.
Finally, hit me up in the comments. Tryna sound cool 😎. How’d I do. Asking for A Friend…😂🥰❤️
I don’t mean that as one of those sayings we toss around when somebody dies and then forget as soon as life gets busy again.
I mean life is short.
My big brother is gone.
Gone.
There are things about that sentence my heart is still trying to understand.
And since April, I have been hospitalized three times.
Three.
So when I tell you that I have been thinking about NOW, I need you to understand where that word is coming from.
Not from a motivational poster.
Not from a cute quote.
Not from somebody standing safely on the other side of life telling everybody else how to live theirs.
I’m talking about looking at your own life and realizing:
We keep acting like we have time guaranteed to us that nobody ever promised.
Time to make the call.
Time to forgive.
Time to apologize.
Time to say I love you.
Time to tell somebody they mattered.
Time to laugh until your stomach hurts.
Time to dance badly.
Time to sit quietly with somebody.
Time to stop pretending you don’t care.
Time to put down some foolishness that wasn’t worth carrying in the first place.
Time to LIVE.
We say:
Later.
Tomorrow.
When things settle down.
When I’m less busy.
When they reach out first.
When I feel better.
When I have more money.
When life gets easier.
Beloveds…
What if it doesn’t?
What if this is the life?
Messy.
Beautiful.
Painful.
Funny.
Unfinished.
Ordinary.
Extraordinary.
Now.
❤️
I listened to The O’Jays singing “Love Train,” and something in me heard more than a song.
I heard a question.
Are you coming?
Not when everybody agrees.
Not when humanity finally learns how to act right.
Not when every wound has healed.
Not when everybody believes what you believe.
Not when every relationship has been repaired.
Not when you’re certain you won’t get hurt again.
NOW.
Come now.
Love now.
Live now.
Laugh now.
Say it now.
Receive it now.
Rejoice now.
Because somebody you love can be here—
and then not be here.
😭❤️
I know that now in a way I desperately wish I didn’t.
My big brother is gone.
And I cannot change that.
But I can decide what his absence teaches me about the people who are still here.
I can look around.
I can see you.
I can love you.
I can stop saving flowers for funerals.
I can stop waiting until somebody cannot hear me to tell the world what they meant to me.
I can love people while they are alive.
And so can you.
👀
So I’m challenging you, Beloveds.
Who needs to hear from you?
Who needs to know you love them?
Who have you been meaning to call?
Who deserves their flowers while they can still smell them?
Who have you been withholding kindness from because you’re waiting for them to go first?
What joy have you postponed?
What dream have you convinced yourself you’ll get around to eventually?
What part of your own life have you been standing outside of, waiting for somebody to invite you in?
And here’s the uncomfortable one:
Who have you decided doesn’t belong on your Love Train?
👀
Because it’s easy to talk about loving humanity.
Humanity is abstract.
People are complicated.
People disagree with us.
People misunderstand us.
People disappoint us.
People look different.
Believe differently.
Vote differently.
Worship differently—or don’t worship at all.
People carry histories we don’t know.
Some people have wounds that make them difficult to reach.
Some people will never become who we wish they would become.
And still the question comes:
What are we going to do with the time we have?
I’m not asking you to abandon boundaries.
I’m not asking anybody to return to abuse.
I’m not asking you to pretend harm didn’t happen.
I’m asking something much simpler and much harder:
While you are here, what kind of human being do you want to be?
Because I have decided something.
🚂❤️
I’M STARTING A LOVE TRAIN OF MY OWN.
I don’t own the train.
I don’t get to inspect everybody’s ticket.
Actually…
There are no tickets.
😂❤️
You don’t have to believe what I believe.
You don’t have to look like me.
You don’t have to understand every part of me.
You don’t have to have your life together.
You can arrive grieving.
You can arrive laughing.
You can arrive questioning.
You can arrive believing.
You can arrive unsure.
You can sit quietly by the window if that’s all you have today.
Come.
There is room.
And once you get settled?
Scoot over.
Somebody else is coming.
❤️🚂❤️🚂❤️🚂❤️
That’s how I want to live whatever life I have.
Not counting how many days I might have left.
Making the days I have count.
Not waiting for the world to become loving.
Loving.
Not waiting for somebody else to build community.
Reaching.
Not demanding that everybody become the same.
Seeing people.
Not someday.
NOW.
Because my big brother was here.
And now he isn’t.
Because I’ve seen the inside of a hospital three times since April.
Because tomorrow is precious precisely because it isn’t promised.
Because there are people walking around today who desperately need somebody to remind them:
You matter.
You belong.
I see you.
I gotchu and gotcha.
And because despite everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve survived, everything I’ve gotten wrong, everything I’m still learning, and everything that hurts—
I still believe in love.
Maybe that’s foolish.
Then hand me my conductor hat.
😂🚂❤️
I’m doing it anyway.
So here is my challenge:
Don’t just listen to the Love Train.
Become part of it.
Call somebody.
Love somebody.
Encourage somebody.
Forgive where forgiveness is yours to give.
Ask forgiveness where you’ve caused harm.
Laugh.
Dance.
Dream.
Rest.
Begin again.
Tell somebody the truth while they can still hear it:
I love you.
And then make room for somebody you didn’t expect.
The world has enough trains carrying anger, suspicion, division, loneliness, fear, contempt and hatred.
I’m starting another one.
🔒🔑❤️🚂
Destination?
I don’t know.
Maybe we figure that out together.
But I know how we’re leaving the station:
LIVE NOW. LOVE NOW. LAUGH NOW. RECEIVE NOW. REJOICE NOW.