Category: walking

God, I’m tired.

God, I’m tired.

I’m tired of wondering.

I’m tired of waiting.

I’m tired of wishing.

I’m tired of Your Silence.

I’m tired of of ALWAYS having to keep my act right acting right.

I’m tired of fighting with/against fear.

I’m tired of watching the wicked prosper whilst the gentle/meek inherit hard times.

I’m tired, God. You tell us not to be weary in well doing as in due season we will reap if we faint not. I’m tired of wanting to faint and be weary but not being able to.

That said, I shall NEVER tire of You.

Your Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Sometimes, it’s necessary to let friends know how you feel. Their response is up to them. Never be afraid to be honest with your true feelings. Too many folks are running around in pretend mode.

I AM tired. Doesn’t mean I am giving up. I have too many thangs to do. There is much too much love I have left to give.

My heart wanted to encourage folk. My spirit was tired. Initially, I sided with spirit. I turned off the phone. My heart asked what if there was someone who needed a bit of a boost? I sided with YOU. Be encouraged. Rest as needed.

Give yourself permission to be a tad weary. We are human. We can’t go 100 miles an hour all day. Rest, then keep looking UP. It can be hard to look up when all you see are storm clouds coming.



One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Mishmash II

My latest mishmash turned out to be hogwash! Bah humbug.

Instead of wasting a pound of ground beef and pasta, I decided to “reimagine” my mishmash.

I added a bit of this.

I tossed in a bit of that.

I let this and that simmer…

Presto!

Mishmash II. Tadah!

These days, beloveds, I feel as though ALL I am doing is concocting nothing but mishmash: A dash of this. A bit of that. Leaving nothing but a bunch of mishmash.

I want to be angry. I’m much too tired to be angry. I want to bargain with The Universe to let me go back to BEFORE.

Before, things got so hard.

Before, I became another person.

Before, I forgot what it’s like to feel safe.

We don’t get to go back, beloveds. We get to move FORWARD. Keep moving FORWARD. Don’t let the unknown scare you into looking back.

We can’t get THAT back. We can’t ever do THIS again. Yet, too often, we find ourselves wasting time chasing after THIS and THAT.

It’s time to move beyond THIS. It’s high time to seek higher than THAT.

I love talking about THIS and THAT. Only those who are truly trying will even understand what I am saying. Everyone else is wondering “What’s all THIS? What’s up with THAT?”…lol.

Don’t be discouraged/disappointed with your try, beloveds. You tried. You made mishmash out of the leftovers of your life. Most folk just complain about what they have been left with.

Celebrate your mishmash. Or, turn the mishmash into mishmash II!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Stop giving yourself such a hard time. You are doing amazing. The results have not yet shown themselves to you. Be patient. In the meantime, help someone else. Cheer on others. Love someone. Starting with you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Again.

Write again.

Laugh again.

Sing again.

Dance again.

Try again.

Believe again.

Begin again.

LOVE again.

The Universe has said this to me EVERY time I have gone through an especially rough patch/ passage.

There are times when I have listened. Other times, I have told Him to kick rocks

Then, I begin. Again.

Do it again, beloveds.

Try again.

Hope again.

Love again.

LIVE again.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Starting over can be tough. Starting over, again, can be maddening. It IS frustrating 😤.

Today, my want to doesn’t want to. It’s incredibly disappointing applying for jobs that don’t pan out. Being one, among many, is daunting. My try is not standing out. I am not standing out.

I feel helpless. I REFUSE to allow myself to BECOME helpless.

I dragged helpless out of bed so I could encourage someone today. Be encouraged. Keep moving FORWARD.

The greatest gift The Universe presents me with EVERY day is another opportunity to stand, ten toes down, on FAITH, on BUSINESS, with HOPE, bringing JOY with me.

Real talk, beloveds, it’s NOT easy to keep rising. Rising, only to be smacked down by another no or nothingness, hurts. Still, WE MUST get through these tough nos.

Christmas is almost here. Another Christmas without mom. Worse, Christmas is now a scary object that is hurtling, far too fast, in my direction as I scrape my way back into the working world.

I miss normal. Even a normal I could no longer bear to continue. Who knew?

This time HAD to come. Else, I never would have overcome fear enough to try and live my dreams out LOUD, in REAL time.

Someone needs to KNOW they ARE on the RIGHT path. If you are currently feeling as though you are walking a tightrope, with NO net, with NO safety rope or ability to do anything other than continue…

…

…

…YOU are. EXACTLY where The Universe has positioned you to be!

Keep moving FORWARD.

Keep looking UP.

Keep on keeping on. Use your fears to propel you. Better still, tell your fears to stop lying to and on you!

This time is not here just to scare the bejeez out of you. This time is here to force you to MOVE. We over analyze things to death. Go. Fail. Go. Succeed. Go. Screw up spectacularly. Go. Rinse. Repeat.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Let them go: Headed in opposite directions.

I feel a pull.

I feel a tug.

From, my heart.

Towards, people.

Away, from people.

At the same time.

AT THE SAME TIME!!

My heart is trying to go one way. This way, is pulling me away from folks and into deep solitude to meditate, to write, to continue healing.

My heart also is trying to go the other way. Towards folks, to share all that I have been learning.

I want to tell folks to go away AND to come here, all at the same time.

Such an odd place to be.

God and Life wants to take me someplace where no one can go but me.

I am ready to go.

I have been longing to go.

Yet, I feel a bit lost.

Just a tad.

Lost as the older I get I want to get closer, not further away.

I hear Him tell me to let them go.

Let things go.

Let, expectations, go.

Let everything go that has been silently holding me back from…

*shrug*

The older I get, the less I expect from folks. Meaning, I am doing my best to release all the strings inadvertently placed on folks.

Yea,

YOU get to choose.

YOU get to choose:

WHO you will love.

THAT you will love.

That you WILL love him/her/them.

YOU get to choose:

To give.

To receive.

To share.

To withdraw.

To draw near.

To have.

To hold.

YOU get to choose:

To believe.

To deceive.

To teach.

To lead.

To be led.

To feed.

To be fed.

To starve.

To empathize.

To despise.

YOU get to choose.

What say you?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep putting yourself out there, beloveds. Even when it hurts. I put myself out there, today. Empty was returned. It hurt. Terribly.

I rose. I hugged myself. I told my try not to become bitter. I reached out. Reach out said no. It happens. Life happened. Ow.

Yet, I smile. I am grateful. It was another opportunity to extend myself. I accept the outcome.

I am learning to enjoy the nectar of my try.

I am doing my best to not allow transactions to be in my try. I am trying. I am asking for what I need. I am giving what I have.

EVERYTHING has it’s reasons. We just don’t know what those reasons are. We may never get to know. I am trying to learn to be okay with that terribly cold fact.

Be encouraged. Your try matters. You matter. Keep on keeping on. Don’t be ashamed of your try. I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

What are you going to do now?

What are you going to do now?

Life asks me this EVERY day now. It’s maddening.

God asks me this EVERY day now. It’s annoying.

The Universe asks me this EVERY day now. It’s daunting.

What are you going to do NOW, Cassandra? What are you going to DO with/about all the hard that has befallen you?

Life does NOT care how you feel about it, beloveds. Life just needs you to keep being about it. Periodt. Whether you FEEL like it or not.

What are you going to do now, beloveds?

Keep on keeping on. No matter what. ALWAYS forward. Rest when need. Then, rise and move FORWARD. Don’t allow fear to cause you to run backwards to the comfort of what you have always known.

Your dreams are up ahead! Go get them. Take hard with you. Just go.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Fear, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

Fear, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

I shall fight you with faith.

Hate, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

I shall fight you with love.

Discouragement, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

I shall fight you with effort.

Apathy, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

I shall fight you with empathy.

Hardship, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

I shall fight you with prayer.

Unbelief, ALL you have done is given me the ammunition to fight you with!

I shall fight you with God’s Word.

Beloveds, be encouraged. Use your hard as weapons in your hands. Fight back! Fight on! Fight!

We are NOT victims of our circumstances. We CHOOSE how to respond to EVERY circumstance.

I no longer see obstacles as mere obstacles. I see them as choices to be made. I see them as opportunities to expand my try. I see them as gifts that brings me new chances to strengthen my faith muscles.

Keep using ALL things for your good. You got this!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I don’t do easy. I do hard.

Quitting is easy.

Apathy is easy.

Giving in to anger is easy.

Allowing hate to fester is easy.

Turning your back on others is easy.

I do hard.

Loving hard headed folk is hard.

Empathising with folk who want to hate those who look like me is hard.

Reaching out is hard.

Giving voice to the voiceless is hard.

Loving the majority, even while the majority has chosen to allow hate towards those who look like me.

I don’t do easy. I do hard. What do you do?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The world is what WE make it. I’m doing what I can with my corner.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Unique: Repeat after me.

Repeat after me:

I am unique.

I am qualified.

I am uniquely qualified to handle EVERYTHING presented to/for me.

Nuff said.

Now, get out there and LIVE!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I ain’t mad at sad.

Sad came to visit. Sad wanted to hang out a bit and commiserate about mom.

I invited sad for ☕ coffee.

Me and sad talked of sad things:

Losing mom.

Losing my job.

Losing supposed friends.

Thanksgiving alone.

Then, I presented sad with it’s cap 🧢 and sent sad on it’s way. I told sad to send joy around.

Joy stopped by for some 🎶 music and fun. Want to join us?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s okay to be sad, at times. Be sad, beloveds, then keep it moving. You have too much life to live. You have too much love inside you to share. You have too much love to receive.

Open your heart and receive. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!