I am trying my utmost, beloveds, to not allow what is happening outside to effect ME, inside.

The forever, never-ending sounds of chainsaws and sirens are disturbing/unsettling. I wish they were not right outside my door. I tell myself I am still here. I tell myself everything will eventually be alright.

In the meantime, I am doing my level best to keep things level. I tossed in a load of laundry. I talked to my sis. I texted a friend. I am getting my pieces written and ready to be uploaded for when the internet gets repaired.

There are soooooooooooooooooooooo many things that happens outside our control. I can’t control how soon the internet gets fixed. I CAN control preparing for the day it does.

In the past, I would be in full blown find someone to blame about all of this craziness going on. I would have fussed at God and ignored Him for a bit. I would have carried on to myself about why the world can’t I do this, that and evey other thing I can’t do.

Now, I say ‘so what’ and get on with it. I cry, when I need to. I write, because I must. There are just too many folk who are allowing what’s happening their outside to affect their inside. Ha! To hooey with all that nonsense.

Be encouraged.

I would normally insert something inspiring here. I am just too tired. Maggie, help us out and give us some inspiring words, eh? Asking for A Friend.

hopeful still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This 🌪 has changed me more than I thought possible. Rather, the 🌪 revieled what is most important:

Loving God.

Loving folk.

Encouraging as many folk as I can.

The same things I have been doing most of my life. Ah, God. You have been playing chess the whole time.

Beloveds, the key to life is UNDERSTANDING the key to life. What’s the 🗝 key? Great question! Keep asking.

Keep moving FORWARD.

REFUSE to allow ANYTHING, including YOU, to keep you from moving forward!

You got this.

God has us all.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• SUNDAY WITH CASSANDRA. IT ME!
• MOVIE SATURDAY WITH CASSANDRA🌎🎬👩🏿‍🦼🍿🌎
• (no title)
• Today…
• 🎬 MAYBE THEY WEREN’T “TOO BLACK.” MAYBE I WAS STILL HOLDING THE RULER. 🪑🔑Beloveds,I told you I caught myself watching Black romance movies and thinking:Too loud.Too boisterous.Too Black.😳And the Holy Spirit convicted me.Then I watched Deliver Us from Eva.WHEW.👀Because suddenly I wasn’t only watching Eva.I was looking at the ruler I sometimes used to measure everybody.Let’s start with Eva.She’s intelligent, professional, beautiful, protective, loving, bossy, controlling, loyal and complicated.All of it.🔑She doesn’t have to become either the Angry Black Woman Who Needs Taming or the Strong Black Woman Whose Every Choice Must Be Defended.Eva needs correction AND Eva deserves dignity.She helped raise her sisters after their parents died. Protection became part of her identity.But eventually protection sometimes became control.⛓️ If I don’t manage everybody, everything will fall apart.🔑 I can love grown people without controlling grown people.Her sisters need a key too.You cannot keep handing somebody the clipboard to your life and then get mad because she keeps writing on it.🤣Eva has to stop managing.Her sisters have to start owning.Everybody gets a chair.🪑And YES—THE MEN TOO.🤣🪑🪑🪑🪑Ray begins by deceiving Eva.That matters.But eventually “the problem” becomes a person to him.Eva.And Ray changes.🔑 Sometimes genuinely knowing somebody destroys the caricature we created from a distance.But Ray deserves his own humanity too.He’s working, dreaming, saving, flawed, funny, romantic, masculine and tender.He doesn’t need to become a CEO before he’s worthy of love.There’s that ten-times-better ruler again.👀Then Mike.Mike has a legitimate frustration with Eva’s interference.His solution?SIR. SIT DOWN.🪑🤣Because here’s another key:🔑 A legitimate grievance does not automatically make every remedy legitimate.Pain deserves acknowledgment.Choices still require accountability.Then Tim made me ask:What does a Black man have to look like before we consider him “man enough”?Dominant?Always in charge?Never soft?Never uncertain?Why?Tim doesn’t need more masculinity.He needs his voice.🔑A loud Black woman shouldn’t have to shrink.A quieter Black man shouldn’t have to perform dominance.Both get chairs.And Darrell?🤣Some people are intellectual heavyweights.And some people are…Darrell.🤣❤️HE GETS A CHAIR TOO.Intelligence isn’t the admission price for dignity.Sophistication isn’t the admission price for love.Black people are allowed to be ordinary.Goofy.Messy.Wrong.Funny.Tender.Brilliant.Ridiculous.Rich.Poor.Loud.Quiet.Human.And suddenly the Holy Spirit’s conviction went deeper.Maybe I had become nervous when Black characters weren’t representing us “well enough.”What will THEY think?Why are they so loud?Why aren’t they more polished?More educated?More professional?More respectable?More…acceptable?😳And suddenly I’m not watching a movie.I’m conducting a performance review of Blackness.⛓️That’s exhausting.Because Black characters should not have to carry the reputation of an entire people on their backs.And sometimes, without realizing it—we help load the backpack.That was part of what the Holy Spirit showed me.Not merely:Cassandra, look at them.But:Cassandra, look at your ruler.👀Who handed it to you?Why are you still carrying it?And I knew part of the answer.Ten times better.There was love and survival inside what Black folk taught me.They were preparing me for an unfair world.But:“You may have to be ten times better to receive the opportunity”can quietly become:“Black people SHOULD be ten times better.”NO.❤️‍🩹I reject that.Black excellence is beautiful.Black dignity is unconditional.Eva gets correction and dignity.Ray gets tenderness and accountability.Mike gets frustration and responsibility.Tim gets quietness and voice.Darrell gets goofiness and dignity.The sisters get love and agency.Nobody has to become less Black.Nobody has to become ten times more human.EVERYBODY GETS A CHAIR.🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑And maybe that’s what the Holy Spirit was really asking me:Cassandra, why are you still holding the ruler?😳My answer?I’m learning to put it down.🔑And maybe you have one too.Race.Education.Disability.Age.Money.Accent.Religion.Politics.Body size.Mental illness.Addiction.Sexuality.Somebody whose life simply doesn’t look like yours.Don’t perform an answer for me.Be honest with you. For, HIM.🙏🏿What ruler are you carrying?Who handed it to you?Who have you measured with it?Have you measured yourself with it too?And if the Holy Spirit is showing it to you, maybe He isn’t giving you the ruler so you can beat yourself with it.Maybe He’s saying:Child. You don’t need that anymore.Put it down.🔑❤️‍🩹Pull up your chair.🪑Let somebody else pull up theirs.And let people be fully human in front of you.Including—you.👩🏿‍🦼💃🏿❤️‍🔥🌎Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!Unapologetically His.Unapologetically yours.

God: What are you doing?

Me: I’m fixing to shut it down for the day. I’m tired.

God: Um, didn’t you promise to complete TEN pieces for the week?

Me: Yes.

God: How many have you completed?

Me: Seven.

God: Hmm…doesn’t quite add up to ten then, does it?

Me:…pout….K.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I am actually on piece number 10. Whew! I’m tired. I wanted to knock off early. Yet, I promised myself I would keep my promises made to myself.

Too often, we give ourselves permission to ‘let it slide’ when it comes to doing what we promised we would do. I promised I would no longer do that.

I find myself satisfied.

I made a promise.

I have kept that promise.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Life is good when you keep your promises.

What things have you promised yourself you gave up early on, have not started or put down? Get back to them. Don’t get on yourself for having done so. Apologize to you. Then, keep your promise(s).

getting in my ten,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Note: Okay, um, what are you doing here? If you have done your ten, you may stay. Otherwise, hit the bricks and get after it….hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Be encouraged.

I am getting in some ME time.

How about you?

If not, why not?

If so, what do you like to do for your me time?

I am considering what book to read next. I think I will finish ‘If Tomorrow Comes’ by Sidney Sheldon. I love me some Sidney Sheldon! Wonderful writer.
I think I shall cook up a concoction from whatever I can find in my cabinets.

Okay, I have bored thee enough with my meanderings on my me time. Time to get on with getting on with it, eh, beloveds?

I just stopped by to let you know you are not forgotten. Be sure to remember that would you please? Asking for A Friend.

Take care of your precious heart. Ah, beloveds, know ye not that you are altogether lovely?

You are:

Loveable.

Longed after.

Longed for.

The Universe awaits you. Speak. Ask. Reach for the stars.

Spend a bit of your me time thinking of me, eh?…lol.

loving me some you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Note: Oh, beloveds, it’s soooooooooooooooo good being good to ourselves! I had been a bit discouraged thinking of what I didn’t have. Lamenting over the tornado and the lost pay. Until, I reminded myself I am here. Still. The rest will work out in the wash. Or, I will make due with what I have left. I SHALL begin again. And, again. And, again. As many times as need be! How ’bout you?

Thank you to all who have offered a like, a word, a thought in these last days. It will take a while to move past the terrifying feelings of the tornado and the week in darkness not knowing when/if the lights would ever return. They did. And, God WAS/IS with me!

Be encouraged. Keep on keeping on. Love on you. Don’t wait to be loved. Love you. Reach out for love. God WILL bless your efforts. Hang out with Him. He gets lonely for you. As do I. I love you.

• SUNDAY WITH CASSANDRA. IT ME!
• MOVIE SATURDAY WITH CASSANDRA🌎🎬👩🏿‍🦼🍿🌎
• (no title)
• Today…
• 🎬 MAYBE THEY WEREN’T “TOO BLACK.” MAYBE I WAS STILL HOLDING THE RULER. 🪑🔑Beloveds,I told you I caught myself watching Black romance movies and thinking:Too loud.Too boisterous.Too Black.😳And the Holy Spirit convicted me.Then I watched Deliver Us from Eva.WHEW.👀Because suddenly I wasn’t only watching Eva.I was looking at the ruler I sometimes used to measure everybody.Let’s start with Eva.She’s intelligent, professional, beautiful, protective, loving, bossy, controlling, loyal and complicated.All of it.🔑She doesn’t have to become either the Angry Black Woman Who Needs Taming or the Strong Black Woman Whose Every Choice Must Be Defended.Eva needs correction AND Eva deserves dignity.She helped raise her sisters after their parents died. Protection became part of her identity.But eventually protection sometimes became control.⛓️ If I don’t manage everybody, everything will fall apart.🔑 I can love grown people without controlling grown people.Her sisters need a key too.You cannot keep handing somebody the clipboard to your life and then get mad because she keeps writing on it.🤣Eva has to stop managing.Her sisters have to start owning.Everybody gets a chair.🪑And YES—THE MEN TOO.🤣🪑🪑🪑🪑Ray begins by deceiving Eva.That matters.But eventually “the problem” becomes a person to him.Eva.And Ray changes.🔑 Sometimes genuinely knowing somebody destroys the caricature we created from a distance.But Ray deserves his own humanity too.He’s working, dreaming, saving, flawed, funny, romantic, masculine and tender.He doesn’t need to become a CEO before he’s worthy of love.There’s that ten-times-better ruler again.👀Then Mike.Mike has a legitimate frustration with Eva’s interference.His solution?SIR. SIT DOWN.🪑🤣Because here’s another key:🔑 A legitimate grievance does not automatically make every remedy legitimate.Pain deserves acknowledgment.Choices still require accountability.Then Tim made me ask:What does a Black man have to look like before we consider him “man enough”?Dominant?Always in charge?Never soft?Never uncertain?Why?Tim doesn’t need more masculinity.He needs his voice.🔑A loud Black woman shouldn’t have to shrink.A quieter Black man shouldn’t have to perform dominance.Both get chairs.And Darrell?🤣Some people are intellectual heavyweights.And some people are…Darrell.🤣❤️HE GETS A CHAIR TOO.Intelligence isn’t the admission price for dignity.Sophistication isn’t the admission price for love.Black people are allowed to be ordinary.Goofy.Messy.Wrong.Funny.Tender.Brilliant.Ridiculous.Rich.Poor.Loud.Quiet.Human.And suddenly the Holy Spirit’s conviction went deeper.Maybe I had become nervous when Black characters weren’t representing us “well enough.”What will THEY think?Why are they so loud?Why aren’t they more polished?More educated?More professional?More respectable?More…acceptable?😳And suddenly I’m not watching a movie.I’m conducting a performance review of Blackness.⛓️That’s exhausting.Because Black characters should not have to carry the reputation of an entire people on their backs.And sometimes, without realizing it—we help load the backpack.That was part of what the Holy Spirit showed me.Not merely:Cassandra, look at them.But:Cassandra, look at your ruler.👀Who handed it to you?Why are you still carrying it?And I knew part of the answer.Ten times better.There was love and survival inside what Black folk taught me.They were preparing me for an unfair world.But:“You may have to be ten times better to receive the opportunity”can quietly become:“Black people SHOULD be ten times better.”NO.❤️‍🩹I reject that.Black excellence is beautiful.Black dignity is unconditional.Eva gets correction and dignity.Ray gets tenderness and accountability.Mike gets frustration and responsibility.Tim gets quietness and voice.Darrell gets goofiness and dignity.The sisters get love and agency.Nobody has to become less Black.Nobody has to become ten times more human.EVERYBODY GETS A CHAIR.🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑And maybe that’s what the Holy Spirit was really asking me:Cassandra, why are you still holding the ruler?😳My answer?I’m learning to put it down.🔑And maybe you have one too.Race.Education.Disability.Age.Money.Accent.Religion.Politics.Body size.Mental illness.Addiction.Sexuality.Somebody whose life simply doesn’t look like yours.Don’t perform an answer for me.Be honest with you. For, HIM.🙏🏿What ruler are you carrying?Who handed it to you?Who have you measured with it?Have you measured yourself with it too?And if the Holy Spirit is showing it to you, maybe He isn’t giving you the ruler so you can beat yourself with it.Maybe He’s saying:Child. You don’t need that anymore.Put it down.🔑❤️‍🩹Pull up your chair.🪑Let somebody else pull up theirs.And let people be fully human in front of you.Including—you.👩🏿‍🦼💃🏿❤️‍🔥🌎Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!Unapologetically His.Unapologetically yours.