Category: Writing

Thanks wombie.

My twin, my wombie, has earned a medal, this week.

I have been sick, crabby, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, disgusted and every other negative word one can think of.

I have cried, carried on just a smidge, kicked against the constraints of my life, yelled at The Universe, whispered fussings at God, told myself what a lousy figure out of life person I am.

Yea, beloveds, I cut up, just a tad, with my wombie. It felt good, to be:

Honest.

Afraid.

Angry(?).

Sad(?).

Hopeful.

Doubting(?).

Joyful.

I have been fighting with the night. Every night now, for days. Come morning, I have been fighting with morning, ALL day.

My wombie, bless her heart, has stood fast through it all. Whew!🤒😳🤷‍♀️

Thought I would pass some of the savings onto you, beloveds. 😁🤣

I really wanted to encourage you to:

Lean on someone.

Your burdens ARE important. You are NOT a burden!

Let folk know you are tired of battling alone. This life is tough. We all need support.

Like an idiot, I used to carry my hard, alone. I cherish my heart too much, now, to do that. I encourage you to care for YOU.

Reach out to someone. If you don’t have a someone, you lie! You got me, eh? You got God. You got The Universe. You got folk around you. Look around. Then, reach out to someone.

If you are not currently struggling, believe you me someone you know is! Check on them. Do some heart checks. Starting with your own.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

praying for us all,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

If you words didn’t matter, the world wouldn’t be trying so hard to shut you up.

Keep trying.

Keep speaking.

Keep asking for what you need and want.

Your words DO matter. So does mine. If our words were not important, the world wouldn’t be so insistent to shut us up.

This morning, I wanted to tell myself to kick rocks. I did NOT want to have to find words to encourage me, let alone you.

I did NOT want to do the same old, same old, today. I wanted to be walking, in the life EVERYTHING inside of me says is waiting for me!

The Universe, keeps insisting there is a there, I must get to, to live the life I imagine.

My imagination is driving me up ten walls!

Fresh hell!

Crackers!!

Geeezzzz!!

Life keeps demanding I chase it down. Life keeps insisting there is a there for me to get to!

God, dear god, keeps insisting there is a there I need to get to!!

I want to tell everyone, including me, to shut up and kick rocks!

They should have left me in my mediocre, don’t try to hard for ME life! It was easier there!

THERE, I could blame my job. THERE, I could blame the past. THERE, I could blame everyone and everything for my lack.

Yet, the there God/Life/The Universe has me in search of requires that I be:

Determined.

Relentless.

Hopeful.

Joyful.

FAITHFUL!

This time, frustrating though it may be, is creating in us fruits that will serve us for the rest of our lives!

Your words are:

Powerful.

Life-affirming.

Life-changing.

Beloveds, be careful of the words you allow to come out of your mouth. If you can’t think of something positive, zip the lip!

Speak, LIFE.

Speak, HOPE.

Speak, LOVE.

Above all else, keep speaking. You will be thankful you kept fighting, for YOU. This world will kick you, to the curb, the instant you are considered non-useful. Don’t you label you, as such.

I made myself:

Turn on the lights.

Encourage myself.

Tell myself the TRUTH.

Beloveds, don’t help out discouragement. Tell it to shut up. Then, shut out the noise and keep on keeping on.

When the hard gets too hard:

Pray.

Reach out.

Look up.

Stand up.

Believe.

You will lose ONLY if YOU quit. Don’t let you be the reason. Instead, allow YOU to be the reason that you win!

This is not a motivational speech. This is REAL talk. Put on your grown folk pants and keep going. We got thangs to do!

defiantly here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Don’t.

Don’t.

Don’t!!

Don’t:

Quit.

Give up.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I don’t give two figs how tiring/exhausting/discouraging things may be/seem/feel, you do NOT have permission to give up on you. Fuss, fume, fret. Drag discouragement with you, ALL day, if necessary. We got too much inside, beloveds, to give up on us. Not just yet. Stand fast. Tell the hard to shut up and keep it moving…

Real talk: What do you do…

What do you do…

When you are ready to give up:

On, your dreams?

On…YOU?

I don’t know.

I can’t.

I want to.

Tired of:

Trying.

Giving.

Caring.

With no give back, no try back, no care back.

I fight on.

Still.

Why?

Real talk?

My dreams won’t leave me be.

Damn them.

They are damning me.

To days of endless searching.

For:

If I knew, I wouldn’t be in pursuit…still.

Still.

Still!!

I dare not:

Give up.

Yet.

On, me.

On, my dreams.

Fresh hell!!

This feels like hell.

Apparently, I have more diamonds to collect in these worn out shoes.

keeping it moving/real,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I wanted to give up chasing these stupid dreams that won’t change a blasted thing for a stupid world stupid enough to keep ignoring someone as fantastic as me!

Even if I give up on my dreams, I can’t let you give up on yours, can I? Your dreams are too important. Keep going. As for me, I am going to keep it real, with me, and admit these dreams are just too heavy, today. Someone watch out for them, today. Asking for a friend…

Heart❤check:

Just popped in to check on your heart.

Mine is a bit heavy, at the moment. Life doing all kinds of mysterious, life things which is getting on my last nerves.

Add a fever, I can’t shake, due to doing too much, resting too little and who knows why and you have one case of…pitiful.

I told myself that nobody give two hoots, anyway, so take the day off from telling folks to be encouraged.

Nah.

The main reason, I am doing a heart check, is because I wish someone would do a heart check on me!

Be encouraged.

Know, your efforts are NOT in vain.

I shall be here, tomorrow, if for no other reason then to say:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 🥵😳🤒

Broken plates: Eating still.

This has been an exceptionally hard year, financially.

I have been behind, all year. The more I tried to catch up, the worst things have gotten. It also seems to be, that the more I have prayed, the worst things have gotten. The more I have tried to stay the course, the more off course I appear to have gotten, financially.

That said, I have been strengthened, by my try. My faith, has been strengthened, by my try. My joy, has been strengthened, by my try,

I have had all kind of spinning plates. it has been tough. Trying, to keep them spinning. Finally, the plates came tumbling down.

Broken.

Shattered.

I look upon broken plates.

I am shattered.

Shattered.

No matter.

I’ve been down, before.

I pick up the pieces.

I am grateful.

Broken plates, which still can be used.

I.eat, still.

Now, upon broken plates.

I understand, now, circumstances/situations were broken, not me.

Ah.

Aha!

It can be hard, to remember we are NOT the things that happen to us. Things happen. They do. Yet, we are NOT those things. They happened. They will continue to happen. We must continue to live, to hope, to dream.

Although, your plates may have come tumbling down, beloveds, continue eating. Upon, broken plates. Plates, which still contain the sustenance you need. To, survive. To, thrive.

Keep going. Yes, looking upon broken plates can be discouraging. It’s okay to be disappointed. Keep eating.

With every broken piece/plate, I find I am:

Strengthened.

Stablished.

Hopeful.

Joyful.

Resolute.

Relentless.

Try, beloveds, not to take it too hard when things get broken, in your life. Things break. Does not mean it’s the end, for you. It just means something was broken. Things can be mended. Things can be repaired. What can’t be repaired CAN be replaced.

I have learned not to set my heart upon, things. I have set my heart upon, making memories. Making, moments. Making, the most of my life, and the lives of others. The rest will come out, in the wash.

Keep, dreaming. Keep, hoping. Keep, loving. Every day.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being you.

I hear a cup of coffee calling my name.

Take care of you for me.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Rest.

Rest.

Trying so hard to take my own advice. I’m on my second cup of decaf. I wonder what I can say to myself to get myself to rest. I want to be so much farther than I am. I want to be somewhere else although I don’t mind being where I am right now.

I want to be doing more. Yet, I don’t know what that more is. No longer satisfied, with being unsatisfied. In the meantime, I’m doing the best I can to live in the moment, in the meantime. In the meantime, is driving me up 10 walls. Just makes me tired. I need to rest.

Rest.

A whole lot harder, than it seems. The more I try to rest, the more restless, I become. Rest, why can’t I find you? I shall keep looking for you. Maybe, you’re sitting there. With, my dreams.

I hope.

I dream.

I try.

Restlessly dreaming,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Make some joy bubbles.

I have a weird 😂 laugh.

Which makes me laugh, when I laugh.

It feels me with joy.

I call it my joy bubbles.

Why?

It makes me laugh, to say that, which makes me laugh, which makes more joy bubbles.

😆

We need to make more joy bubbles, don’t you think?

Life is so very short. I’m doing the best that I can and make the most of my life I miss my mom. I miss others that have passed away. I hate that I was not able to buy mamma home like I had always wanted to now, I must make a home among all without my mom

I’m doing my best, mom. I wish you were here. I wish you could see me now, mom. I wish I could hear your crazy laugh. I wish I could leave my head on your Buddha belly I wish so many things.

I’m trying, mom. Can you see me?

Laugh with me mom. Let’s make joy bubbles together, okay?

This year has gone mighty fast I have scarcely been able to keep up with it.

Make some joy bubbles, beloved. Life is shorter than any of us know.

Leave regrets behind. There is no changing the past. Move forward. Move on. Move beyond.

Beyond:

The past.

Past, mistakes.

Mistakes are just that.

Begin.

Again.

Then, again, if needed.

Rinse.

Repeat.

One step.

One step.

One step.

Be encouraged.

Take care of yourself for me.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Healing: Some things(dreams) must be 💔 broken.

I broke my ankle many years ago. It hurt. Yet, it healed much stronger.

I have to admit though, I became afraid to skate after that I was afraid I would break my ankle again. I stopped skating.

I hate to say this. But, I did my dreams like that, as well. I told myself they were just too hard to keep carrying around. I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Yet, I let myself listen to people who told me I was just too damn loud. Still, something inside me always had that dream.

Now, I’m doing the best I can to make my dream come. I fail, every day. Every day, my heart breaks a little bit more and more. Every day. Every moment, my world shatters as my dream remains, unfulfilled.

Broken.

Humbled.

Battered.

Into, submission.

Submitting, now. Learning. Growing. Broken. Pieces, used now, for new things. Broken pieces, now making me, into a new me. Broken pieces. Now beautiful. Broken pieces. Now, a masterpiece!

Some things, must be broken. Some dreams, must be broken. In order, for The Universe, to make something new.

New!

Be encouraged, beloveds. If you have been broken, be encouraged. You are being made into a brand-new thing. Rejoice!

I don’t mind when hard breaks thing, in me. In fact, I get excited. For, I know life is making ME into something fantastic!

You can have the last laugh, beloveds. You WILL have the last laugh. Ha!

When your whole world seems shaken and turned upside down, don’t despair. The Universe is making a new dream inside you. Be patient, with you. Say ow, when it hurts. Laugh, when you can. Be still and know…

It’s okay, to be discouraged. It’s okay, to be disappointed. It’s okay, to be frustrated, as things get broken in your life. This time WILL pass. Make sure you stay joyful. Don’t allow your broken pieces, to break you. You SHALL be restored. You SHALL be renewed. You SHALL be transformed.

You are healing, beloveds. Healing, takes time. Healing, is lonely. Healing, hurts. Most people, are afraid to do the hard work of healing. Be proud of yourself, beloveds. You have and are doing what is necessary to live a good life. Let this be enough, okay?

Keep going. You don’t go alone.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone. Period

Keep on being… YOU.

Here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, really? Smh. Be about being about it.

In the meantime: Don’t fight the fall.

Vertigo is a pain in the…..uh, oh.

Yet, it helps me to slow down.

I have also had to learn how to fall, correctly.

Otherwise, I could take a header, down the stairs, or walking around, and be in a great big pile of…uh, oh.

Nobody likes to fall/fail/mess up. It happens. Doesn’t mean we are failures and mess ups, does it?

Of course not.

Once you understand you WILL fall, you can get up and begin. Again. And, again. And, again. As many times as needed.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Waiting for your dreams to come true can be…uh, oh.

In the meantime, don’t be afraid to fall. Learn to fall, correctly. Don’t fuss and whine and complain and give up on you and your dreams. Keep on keeping on. Yea, you can fuss. So long as you take your fussing, with you!

In the meantime…*sigh*…three words that makes you want to ram something somewhere!!!!

In the meantime:

Live your life. Enjoy you. Taters?

enjoying life in the meantime,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe