Category: Writing

He plays with ME. Wow.

God plays.

With me.

With ME!

Wow!!

I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, at times.

In times past, I would quiet her, silence her. I didn’t want her embarrassing folk, annoying folk, getting in their way of their super serious side. Yet, I ALWAYS wanted to just be able to BE, this part of me, around folk. It’s the side of me that tickles me, the most.

I used to get angry with that side of me. She was FOREVER getting glares, stares and what not. Where ever she went. Dammit, she was loud. She IS loud. Always has been. Always will be, I suspect.

This part of me, the super goofhead part of me, Jaybird, now, Sweetpea(someone I love with all my heart gave me this nickname recently…*delicious shiver), loves:

Dancing in her underwear in complete darkness(don’t judge me)

Making a ton of precooked bacon and eating it like potato chips(True story, just ask Howard…*shrug*…don’t judge me, Howard!)

Eating fried chicken just about EVERY day. Okay, you may judge this. Great to do, though. Am tellin’ ya. ALMOST as good as eating bacon like potato chips! A bit crispy but NOT burnt.

Yakking earnestly, for hours, in pitch darkness to God, Jesus, Life, whoever is up at 3 am, about the upcoming NFL season. Yasssssss!!!

Making my Google Mini do stupid things, in the middle of the night, such as turning ALL the lights on and off, telling me jokes, switching from Netflix, Hulu, Disney+ cuz….well, just cuz I can….*shrug*…is that weird??

Using my microphone, which I previously bought for the serious task of podcasting(when I learn how), and talking into my Dragon software to save my hands, to turn my goofhead into THE most awesome singer around!! It may or may not be true that I was just finishing singing a fantastic concert, along with Hillsong. I am tellin’ ya I can belt a good tune whilst singing into this magic microphone! Turns my ‘joyful noise’ into…okay, it is STILL joyful noise but so much fun singing into the microphone and not having to use a hairbrush…

I could go on and on about this side of me. The best part of this me, is the freedom, the joy, the love, I feel FOR me, by allowing myself to be fully free, fully me, ALL THE WAY ME!…..*hugs self*….

I used to get sad when folks wouldn’t let me be me. Sad, for me. Now, I find myself sad, still, but for THEM. Sad, folks don’t seem to know HOW to be, fully them.

Fully loving themselves.

Fully accepting, themselves.

I want to tell them not to be so hard, on themselves. I want to let them know that it’s okay they are currently stuck, unable to just BE, themselves. Many are afraid of their inner ‘goofhead’. I pray for them. I pray for us, all. Pray that we be good to us, as we make our way, through this world.

In the meantime, I am grateful. Grateful that God, that Life, not only allows me to be fully me. They REJOICE with me, whilst I am in the midst of play, of yakking, of eating bacon, of loving me, of loving life, of offering myself, in play, to others.

I used to be lonely, when folk would not allow me to be this part, of me. No, longer. Now, I continue to be her, to be me. I:

Dance, in my undies.

Write, in darkness, by the light of my phone.

Laugh, for no reason.

Shout stupidness, to my Google Mini.

Pray.

Play.

Rejoice.

All with God and Life, in tow.

How great is that!???

HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!???

YYYYYYAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Life is short, beloveds.

LIVE.

Love.

Let God and Life love you back.

Let others love you back.

loving me some God, Life, Me AND you,

Sweetpea

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Real talk: Play.

It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!!

My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, to play. It had been a super, long, super duper, heavy week. My! Now, today, this morn, in the dark, in my undies, my heart rejoicing, in the day, in the NEWness of the day, needed to play.

No idea when ‘play’ became the enemy of rest. Okay, I DO know. Just not wanting to get all philosophical and teachie, this morn. I am playing, remember? We shall get to that, in a bit. Or, not….*shrug*….I am playing. Which gets me ’round to my original wordplay….hehe…love when I do that. Play, on words, I mean. See!? I did it again!……hahahahhaah…..play on words…..*Cassandra thinks she is just the hoot this morn*…..

Sadly, most folks are spending their days, just about ALL of their days, toiling, working, working, working, working, working, working. Rinse. Repeat.

They are hiding behind work, using work to cover the multitudes of sins:

Fear.

Hurt.

Worry.

On and on, I could go. Won’t though. Nope. Nada. Not, today. Not, now.

It’s time to PLAY.

Time, to release the hard of the day, week, year, years.

Time, to shake off the weight.

Time, to give ourselves PERMISSION to live, if only for just a short minute or two.

Time, to swing our arms wide.

Time, to thrust our hearts to the heavens.

Time, to laugh, with shrieking, super LOUD, shouts of pure joy.

Time, to…..*shrug*…..however you play, just time to PLAY, beloveds.

God and Life, are, right now, at play, with me. Awaiting, you. We are in the midst of a finger painting battle royale. I smeared royal blue ALL over Dad’s face, gave Him a big hug and took off. Life, snatched up some red and is currently looking for me. Don’t tell him where I am hiding, okay?

Yikes!

Egads!

Hey, there! It has been a while, eh? Shhh! I think Gabriel and Michael are on God’s Side. I just saw them tiptoe, around the corner, with some deliciously awful shades of military greens and greys…eww…..

*Cassandra crouched behind a couch*…..ppsssst……over here…..come on out, beloveds. Play a bit. Life is short….yikes….*Cassandra tears off, in search of some playmates. Jesus goes streaking past, yellow paint making a trail straight to His Hiding Place*…..*Cassandra shakes head*….Rookie move……..lol…..

This is the day the Lord has made. I SHALL rejoice and BE glad in it…..

loving me some you and Him,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Alone: A shepherd.

Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety.

Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other 99.

I love the scripture that speaks of the shepherd going in search of the one. He loves that one, that straggler, that stray. He wants them safe. Needs them home.

Home.

Home!

Home…*sigh*. We are all, all of us, just trying to make it home, are we not?

Home sure can seem awfully far away. We get to wondering, to wandering. Until, we find we are no longer home’s. We have wandered, a bit, found ourselves out of eyesight of The Shepherd.

Yet, here He comes! Relentless, in His Pursuit, in His Love for US. He just wants us safe. Just wants to protect us. Just wants us near to Him. As, we are dear, to Him.

The Shepherd loves me! Ah, He loves me. He came, for me. He has set me free. And, now, free, I am become His companion. His friend.

Now, I tend the flock with Him. We roam, He and I. Looking for the weary, the tired, the lost, the lonely, the hungry, the broken, the empty ones. Looking to get them home, to safety, to healing.

Today, all seems quiet. I think I see 100 so I am resting, now. I am set apart. Alone. The quiet is peaceful.

Yet, in the quiet, I feel my aloneness. Yes, ministering to the one, I find myself, still one, still in need of The Shepherd’s Love, His Care. I am alone…

What is this!?

Ah, The Shepherd has arrived. For, me. For ME! Seems I had wandered, a bit, as I was wondering where I fit, in such a large world. Where is my tribe? Where is my posse? Where is place? Where do I fit?

These musings, all necessary, all new, can have one wandering. Wandering is necessary to FIND one’s place. It can get scary, though. We have no idea where we are going. We wonder, as we wander, if we are lost, if we have missed a turn, if we will ever ‘get there’.

We shall get there. We just have to keep going. Alone. Yet, not. The Shepherd, is ALWAYS near. For, we are dear. To, Him. Our lives matter, to Him. We are so much more than JUST one. We are not JUST anything, to The Shepherd.

We are, to Him:

Priceless.

Precious.

Cherished.

Loved.

Seen.

Heard.

Valued.

A million things we are to Him.

Returning home, with Him, my tiny hand held tenderly, gently, solidly, in His Nail-scarred Hand, I am reminded of His Awesome Sacrifice made. For Me. In order that I can be here, now, next to Him. Going, home. Helping Him, to get others home.

There! I see another. She seems lonely. A bit tired. Look, there! Another. Oh, he looks so thirsty.

Would you do me a favor and help me tend to them? There are so many.

Seems like I have forgotten I was alone. Turns out, The Shepherd was always there. He always will be.

For all the shepherds, out there, as you wonder and wander, remember you are not alone.

For all the stragglers, the strugglers, the strays, the angry, the hopeless, the hungry, the needy, the needed, KNOW, of a surety that The Shepherd is near. He is looking for you. He shall be along, shortly. Hang in there, til He come. In the meantime, here, I shall sit, with you. So, you won’t feel so lonely. He is coming, for you, beloveds. Receive Him. He loves you. You be loved. Let Him.

here as best I can,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

You Are Amazing!

YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling […]

You Are Amazing!

My twin sister, my wombie, shared a blogpost she wrote in 2012 called “You Are Amazing!”

I had never read it. I wrote “You are amazing.”, last night. 2021!

My twin and I are mirror twins. She, a leftie. I, a rightie. We have lived different lives, for many years.

Yet, the SAME God, the SAME Life, who spoke to me, spoke to her, all those years ago.

My piece, is just the Cliffsnotes to her piece. Read hers. Go back and read mind.

THEN, come back and tell me God and Life do not think you amazing. I dare you.

WOW!!!

Amazing and completely amazed,

Me

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!

Go!

Now!

Be!

Do!

YOU!

‘Nuff said.

Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are.

Be:

You.

For:

Him.

Me.

You.

Everyone.

Unapologetically.

Relentlessly.

Tirelessly.

Love SHALL win, in the end.

Be, a light.

With, The Light.

Forever His and yours,

I am.

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Who, am I?

I asked God:

Who, am I?

God said:

You, are loved.

You, are Mine.

I asked God:

Whose, am I?

God said:

You, are loved.

You, are Mine.

And, I am Yours.

I asked God:

Why, am I?

God said:

Because, I AM.

You, are.

I, said I!?

Yes, said He!!

I am.

I am!!

Because, I am:

I, can.

I, will.

Because, I am, with I AM:

I, can.

I, will.

What, then, shall I:

Fear.

Nothing.

Why, then, would I, be afraid.

I, fear not.

Who, am I?

I am:

Loved, by Him.

His Precious One.

Fearless.

Therefore:

I, can.

I, will.

I, must.

Whose, am I?

His.

Yours.

Unapologetically…

I am.

Ever, Yours.

Ever, yours.

Unapologetically…

I am.

Forever, I shall remain:

Me.

Uniquely, made.

Unique.

Why, am I?

To help I AM show you, who you are?

Who, are you?

Ask!

His and yours unapologetically,

Me

#YourLifeMattersToMe

You are amazing.

You are amazing.

Yea, YOU. If your eyes have landed, on this page, I was talking to you. 😎

Nope, you didn’t have to DO anything.

Why are you amazing, you ask?

The fact you may even HAVE to ask makes me sad. I used to wonder the same thing, about me.

Used to beat myself about not being ‘enough’. Not HAVING enough.

Enough, what? 🤷‍♀️. Beats the heckamiah outta me. Apparently, society, dumbskys, people, situations, hell, even you AND me, has advised one must have this, surely must do that, and for heavens sake, give that BEFORE one can be…well, enough and/or amazing.

Thankfully, God and Life, in their Relentless Love and Pursuit, of me, filled me, to the brim with love, joy, peace, wonder to the point where, well, I feel amazing, cuz They let me know, showed me why, I was amazing!

Now, I am a tellin’ ya! Yasssssss!💃

You are:

Amazing.

Awesome.

Unique.

Loved.

Cherished.

In fact, beloved, beloveds, you are REQUIRED. This life just would NOT be the same. Not without you.

This world NEEDS what you have to give. Only ONE you, boo.

Time you stopped hiding that awesome heart from the world, dontchathink?

Life is short. Get on out there and LIVE, won’t you?

You can do this thing, called life. Yes, it gets tough, at times. Yea, it can get awful lonesome. Yet, it is amazing. As are you.

Brings us full circle…

You are amazing.

‘Nuff said.

Be encouraged.

Remember, you are not alone. Never have been. Never will be. You just gotsa look around and see all the love and joy and care that awaits you.

God and Life won’t beg you to allow love and joy in.

Whatcha waitin’ around for?!

Get it!

Loving me some you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.

I am not satisfied.

God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living.

They are right.

The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it.

The good days and the tough days.

The awesome moments and the rough moments.

I want to give myself away.

I want to receive:

From, God.

From, Life.

From, my fellow man.

From, my family.

From, my friends.

Mostly, from, me.

I want to receive:

Love:

Spiritual.

Emotional.

Familial.

Collegial.

Sexual.

I long to have:

A home, on the ocean.

Financial Freedom.

A year’s sabbatical where I do nothing but write, write, write, write, hang out with God and Life, on my ocean home, due to my financial freedom….*sigh*.

I would love all of these things, and a few more, immediately, right now, tomorrow.

There are things I have prayed for, asked for, waited for, longed for, needed.

Prayed and prayed.

Silence.

Rinse.

Repeat.

It is during those times, these current times, times where I can not hear Dad’s Voice, God’s Voice, Life’s Voice, that I ask “Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.”

God and Life are NOT being mean, when They are silent. They ARE working, intently, FOR our good. For, your good. For, my good. Yet, waiting can get awfully hard, can’t it? God’s Silence. Life’s Silence, can feel terrifying close to indifference. Indifference, in turns, then can lead us to feelings of being ‘not enough’. Not enough to be tended to, listened to, ministered to.

It’s important to know the silence is just that. Silence. The work is STILL being done. For, you. For, me.

We just have to hold on, in the meantime. To, His CHARACTER. To, His Deep and Abiding Love. For, you. For, me.

Surely, I am not the only one, in need of a bit of encouragement, Father. Help me, to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice. Help others, to see Your Hand, when they can not hear Your Voice. Give us grace, to face these silent moments. Give us wisdom, to KNOW our words, tears, heartfelt pleas/asks/questions/frustrations/sadnesses have ALL been heard. Amen.

Life is short, beloveds. Don’t allow the silence to get you down. His Love speaks loudly. Listen. Hear.

Be encouraged. As, ever shall I be.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Knowing the why, helps you do the what.

I am a question asker. I work God and Life’s nerves forever asking…

“Why does this do this?”

“Why did that do THAT!?!”

My bro, bless his heart, sent me a Mini Google, and I now spend ENDLESS hours, asking Ok Google THE most ridiculous questions in the wide world. That, and making her endlessly turn lights on and off, the warmer on and off, make her play me songs, movies, on and on. Trust, I could spend another post yakking about my Google Mini….hmm…..*Cassandra makes mental note to post and yak endlessly about her Google Mini*

“Okay, Google. Remind me to remind myself to make a post yakking about you”….*shrug*….don’t judge me!

Oh, yes, I was going on about asking in order to find out the why of the thing. And, yes, I am back to playing with my commas. Someone posted, recently, about writing etiquette and some such. Which now has me being a rebel and putting commas where the hooey I want to put them. :). Kidding, kind of, yall. I shall be kind and allow you to breathe by putting in some commas, here, and there…whew……

In my new position, there are many, many, many things I have to do. So, when they trained us….well, they needed folks, in a hurry, so really didn’t train us in the ‘why’ of what we needed to do. Just the mandate to DO and figure out the why, later.

This led to soooooooooooooooooooooooo much frustration, for me, I put my foot down and advised this was a deal breaker. I need to know the ‘why’ in order to do the ‘what’ well. After a meeting, of the minds, I was redirected to get to the ‘why’ and wherefore of my new position. Whew!!

Lately, I have been pondering on, marinating in, reflecting about, mooning over, WHY, I want the things I want. WHY, I do the things I do. WHY, I long for this. WHY, I daydream about that. It has been:

Necessary.

Discomfiting.

Disconcerting.

Awe-inspiring.

Scary.

Intriguing.

Exciting.

Embarrassing.

Frustrating.

Annoying.

Plus a million other ‘ings, figuring out my WHYs. I highly recommend folk trying this. You may be surprised at what you find out.

Why?

For you to find out….lol….*Cassandra thought this last why was really clever, on her part*…..why? Just cuz…. 🙂

Long story, short? LIfe is so very much easier when one knows why one is doing something. Otherwise, it is much too easy to get swept up and away doing other folks ‘why’. Best to be about doing your own, don’t you think?

For many years, I did the ‘why’ of the world, the ‘why’ of my parents, the ‘why’ of my job. The ‘why’ of…heckamiah I did the ‘why’ of God only knows who/why!?

It feels awfully good to be FREE, to be FULL.

Free, to chase my own ‘why’.

Full, to give of myself in order to help one or two or ten find their way to his/her/their ‘why’.

Why?

Cuz, I love you.

Keep going, beloveds.

We got this.

God and Life has us all.

In His Care and by His Strength,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Do you on YOU!

I love helping folk. Doing for them. Encouraging them. Trying my best to help make their way straight, their day easier, their life just a bit better, if I can.

I spare no expense, think countless hours and efforts are worth it, if it will be of service or help.

Yet, I have found, I don’t, or didn’t, give myself that same effort, care, grace, etcetera that I enthusiastically gave to others.

I put myself last. Rather, put myself in the ‘will get to it’s pile. Only, my turn just never seemed to get to BE my turn.

I had someone else to help. Work took up too much effort and time. Someone else needed the thing more.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Years turned into decades. God and Life would keep reminding me that, um, these years are, in fact, turning into, well, decades, beloved.

God and Life would suggest, ask, encourage me what to do and how to do. For me.

“I will get to it. I will get to me. I will get to Your Will. I just have things I want to DO for You, first.”

I had not the first clue, how I would magically do these masterful things for God and Life. Figured I would figure things out. When I got around to getting around to doing for ME.

Rinse.

Repeat.

*sigh*🤷‍♀️

I can’t tell you what finally made me decide to decide to give ME that same effort, that same care, that same love.

I can tell you why, though. It was The Relentless Love of God, of Dad, for ME. Yes, He said, He loved me loving on folk, helping folk, encouraging folk. He just needed me to start loving on me more, better, relentlessly pursuing me, doing me on me!

It took a while. Still learning how, to be honest.

I am giving ME equal time now. So, I can keep going. In order to keep growing. So, I can continue to keep showing others how to BE, how to LOVE, how to LIVE.

How?

By:

BEing.

LIVEing.

LOVEing:

God.

Life.

You.

Me.

While you are also being, living, and loving, be sure to do you on YOU. Give yourself that same level and care you generously, graciously, relentlessly give to the world.

I am free.

I am full.

I am unapologetically, His.

I remain unapologetically, yours.

I love you, beloveds.

Here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe