Category: Writing

Failure: For such a time as THIS. Part II.

This.

THIS!

THIS, God?!

Really?

REALLY!?

Are You SERIOUS, God?

Really, no, reallllllllllly???!

Do you mean to tell me I HAVE to rejoice, that I HAVE to keep my joy, that I HAVE to keep on keeping on, that I HAVE to keep standing on FAITH, that I HAVE to keep standing on BUSINESS, that I HAVE to keep having to even through all of THHISSSSSSSSSSSSS??!!!!

*Cassandra slaps around some of her grief, knocks aside some of the much too much and too many lemons(hard) that have been deposited lately, kicked her way through work stuff that just ain’t working, sighed over bills(math) that was just NOT mathing(matching) a paycheck, not yet received, that has ALREADY been allocated and found wanting*

Geeeeeeeeeeez, Louise. Holy Toledo and Holy Smokes. Heckamiah what in the fresh hell Miah is all THIS going on around here????????!!

Life has been an interesting rollercoaster. Up, one minute. Ready to slap, I don’t even know who, the next. Not literally, though. Just figuratively, in some way, to try and scratch the depth of grief I can NOT fathom, let alone grasp.

In all my brilliant words, I have yet to find ANY that truly soothes my spirit. Except, oddly, the word “shit”. I dont swear, tho. So, I sneak one out, e’ry now and again. Quietly. Where no one but me can hear. Not even God.

I do, however, see the tiny smile, on His Face. I think He is giving me THAT small space to keep it a buck, as these young folks say.

For such a time as THIS, wh, God? Okay, I shall try. Best as I can. You are going to have to make something of this mess I have made of/with my grief.

asking for many friends,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Hang in there, beloveds. For such a time as this…🤔😥😡😳🙏🤷🏿‍♀️

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Failure: For such a time as this.

Beloveds, please allow me to be completely candid with you.

Truth be told, I almost didn’t tell the WHOLE truth. God told me to share some things with you.

I told Him no. My twin had just died. Work was ridiculously hard. Christmas was coming and ALL those things had set off a tsunami, a tornado, and an earthquake in my heart.

Beloveds, I was tired. I AM tired. Yet, I have to find the strength, the fortitude to gry through this work week so I can have TIME to actually grieve for my twin. I don’t have time yet. I can NOT, I dare not, unleash the torrent of tears waiting for me.

Tears and me have a pact: Tears will hold off and allow me to get to Friday. I promise to do my best to get through Christmas Eve AND Christmas WITHOUT losing my mind. I promise to watch football with twin, now in heaven, and NOT spend the day angry with her for leaving.

I feel like such the failure. Feel like I failed sis. I KNOW I loved her best as I could…*sigh*. Crapola.

Anywho, God asked me to share with you that the pieces, talking about failure, was started BEFORE sis passed away.

A few were done. A few not. I won’t say which is which. I bet some shrewd folk may be able to tell…*sigh*.😳

I’m just trying to do as asked and finish up these pieces dealing with failure. Who knew that I would be the one in biggest need of them.

Ah.

Aha!

thinking that God sure did think He is/was slick,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Ah, beloveds. What do I DO with me now? I don’t know how to grieve THIS loss. If someone could show me, I would greatly appreciate it.

I am currently jamming on some praise music. My heart to content to grieve just now…hhmm?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I failed forwards.

I failed.

Forwards.

Not backwards.

I failed.

Often.

Not less.

I failed.

Hard, which made me fall hard.

Ow!

Still, all this flailing, all this failing, all of this falling has gone and done nothing but teach me HOW to fail FORWARDS.

Ha!

Ah!

Aha!!

Keep failing FORWARD, beloveds. Don’t get too terribly upset when you fall. Laugh whilst you are flat on your face. Then, turn over and laugh some more!😎🤣

We got this, frfr.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Believing me in some you…lol.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Failure made me do it.

Failure made me do it:

Try harder.

Try again.

Try some more.

Nuff said.
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t be afraid to fail. Fail forward. Fail often. Rest, if you must. But keep going. Failure has much to say. Failure has much to teach you. Will you listen? Will you learn? Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Who can relate??👈🏽😂 #shorts

https://youtube.com/shorts/4XnM6Gc1yTc?si=C_7Ln40BQWFAiElI

True that!🥰

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Have an amazing day. Life too short to hop out of bed grumpy. Unless it’s your work day. Your day off coming, tho.🤣

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Don’t go back.

Don’t go back.

To old ways, just because you fear new paths.

Don’t go back.

To stinking thinking, just because opening your heart/mind to fresh perspectives is too scary to contemplate.

Don’t go back.

To easier ways, just because easier seems, well, easier.

Don’t go back.

Keep moving FORWARD. Keep looking UP!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We got this. I think.🤣

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Grief will have it’s way, and that’s okay. I told sad no, though. 🤗

It’s Christmas Eve.

I wondered how I would feel. On THIS day. With wombie gone. For the first of many times.

I thought work would be hard. It wasn’t. I ordered a joyful day. This day, having been made for me, by the Lord, as the good book says.😎

So, I scrounged up some joy.

Grief stopped by. Asked if it could stay. I said only for a brief moment. I used that time for a teensy, weensy cry. I had things to do.

Sad saw grief. Asked if it could stay, too. I said heckamiah Jeremiah to the naw. I got thangs to do. I got about doing thangs…

I talked and laughed, with my work daughter. 🥰🤗

I gabbed with fam and friends, via text.

I made the Velveeta Shells and Cheese for Christmas dinner. 🥰😎👍

I made strawberry jello for dessert. My weight said NO Cool Whip to top off said jello…*pout*.

I decided to be efficient and yak at yall, whilst the chicken breasts cooked away in the air fryer.

Happily, joyfully, I pecked away until the smell of burning(?) chicken hollered from tue kitchen…huh?

Huh?

HUH?! OMG!!

*Cassandra rushes to the kitchen, took photo of the food crime scene, and updated the dinner list to include hockey pucks, formerly known as chicken breasts. 😳🤔🤷🏿‍♀️

I’m satisfied. I worked a week I was CERTAIN I would never make it through. I quit 50 times, during the week. I have Christmas off. Then,  have to work Friday and will have the weekend off. A fair trade. I think  😳🤣

Be encouraged, beloveds. You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for.  I am learning I can as well. In real time.

Have an amazing tomorrow.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 😁😎🥰🙏

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Beautiful!🥰🤗🎯🙏

https://youtube.com/shorts/Q8Qr3dhGtx0?si=dsL4QIyY4_7q1Zut

We were meant, are called, to uplift one another. To love one another. To sing TOGETHER.

Beautiful!

a


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 🙏🎯🤗🥰😎👍🧱💃🏽

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Shake Yourself Loose: Tell quit to shut up and keep on moving!

Tell quit to shut up and keep on moving!

Nuff said!

Haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t THINK so fear!!

Take two and a half seats, doubt!!! I doubt you can keep up with me, you big dummy!!!

Leave me be, anxiety! God told me to be anxious for NOTHING, you big stupid!!

You day IS coming stupid enemy and you KNOW who I am talking to! Jesus got the keys to death, hell and the grave, you big, stupid dummy you! I will NOT allow you to kill, to steal, or to destroy anything! I do NOT give you permission to cut up ’round here!

Me, get your whining tail up and fight!!! You getting all up in your feels, for years, and blaming everyone BUT you is the reason you have spent decades running around the mountains you keep on harping to God, to Life, and to The Universe to remove. They told you how to deal with those jokers long time ago! Get to standing on FAITH! Get to standing ten toes down on BUSINESS. Believe in YOU! You know you can do this, Cassandra! You KNOW you can move FORWARD! You blasted KNOW how to look UP. Look UP. We got thangs to do!

*Cassandra turns away from the mirror, gets her act right acting right, grabs joy and goes off for a fantastic praise party to thank God for all this hard, to thank The Universe for not allowing her to punk out, to thank Life for requiring her to fight!*

We got this, beloveds. I promise we do. Please, please, please do not allow your feels to run your show. Your feels will drive you into a ditch, will make you cower and run the other way. Your feels are looking at data that may be incomplete, incorrect and straight up wrong.

Try. Try. Try some more. And, when that does not work…..try some more, already! There is NO quit in us. There is NO permission for us to give up on ourselves, on our dreams, on our futures, on our jobs, on our families, or whatever the world is getting on your last nerves.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We got this!!

I did that! Give yourself some dap/credit.

Give yourself some dap/credit, beloveds.

You have been:

Doing the thing.

Been about being about it, even as you understood NONE of this current hard.

Made lemonade, instead of chucking them at your closest neighbor.

Try, when your try was TRYd out.

Gave, when you had nothing left to give( or so you thought).

Loved, though your love tank was not filled, in return.

Give yourself a smidge of credit! You are forever getting on yourself for your tiniest mistakes and missteps. Perhaps, beloveds, it’s high time for you to love on YOU, eh?

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love me some you. Promise me, beloveds, you will do the same. Okay? ‘K? Okie Dokie?


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!