Yesterday we talked about missing who you used to be.
Tonight, I want to talk about something that can come with that.
Sometimes the things that used to be simple aren’t simple anymore.
Getting out of the house.
Going somewhere alone.
Making dinner.
Paying the bills.
Getting through a workday.
Taking care of everybody.
Concentrating.
Sleeping.
Trusting somebody.
Starting over.
Making friends.
Going into a crowded room.
Getting through an anniversary.
Getting through a holiday.
Getting through a Tuesday.
Things change.
Bodies change.
Families change.
Finances change.
Relationships change.
Responsibilities change.
Confidence changes.
Life changes.
And something you once did without giving it much thought can suddenly require planning, help, extra time, extra money, extra energy, or courage you didn’t used to have to gather first.
That can be frustrating.
Especially when somebody else looks at the thing and thinks,
What’s the big deal?
They may not know what it costs you now.
You do.
So, beloveds, I want you to hear this tonight:
Harder does not mean you are failing.
Needing more time doesn’t mean you’re lazy.
Needing help doesn’t erase your independence.
Having to plan something you once did spontaneously doesn’t make the thing less meaningful when you finally do it.
And doing something differently doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Sometimes we are so busy comparing today’s effort with yesterday’s ease that we don’t give ourselves credit for today’s effort at all.
Yesterday you could just do it.
Today you have to figure out how to do it.
That’s different.
And different deserves some grace.
Maybe the win today isn’t doing everything the way you used to.
Maybe the win is finding another way.
Maybe it’s asking for help without deciding that needing help says something terrible about you.
Maybe it’s doing half.
Maybe it’s trying again tomorrow.
Maybe it’s deciding that one thing simply isn’t worth the energy it costs anymore.
And maybe it’s celebrating something other people would call small because you know exactly how much it took.
Let them call it small.
You know what it cost.
I hope you’ll give yourself credit for that.
Life may have made some simple things complicated.
That doesn’t make you complicated.
It makes you somebody learning how to live inside circumstances that changed.
And, beloveds, learning takes time.
So tonight, don’t measure yourself only by what used to be easy.
Look at what you’re carrying now.
Look at what you’re working around.
Look at what you’re learning.
Look at what you’re still doing.
Then pull your chair a little closer.
🪑
There’s nothing wrong with you because something got harder.
Sometimes…
hard is just hard.
And you’re still here figuring out how to meet it.
I miss my wombie. I miss my twin. Not in a sad way. In a ” what’s up with you ” way.
I’m thinking of you, sis. How are you?
Your 🦁 Detroit Lions won today. I miss the sound of your voice, sis.
Look after Russell and Jr. and all who have gone before.
I’m sad, sis. Maybe, just a little bit…*sigh *…
I have been enjoying my football. I have a new friend, sis.
You would really like him. We crack each other up and get on the other’s last nerve.
We got into a huge fight last week. I wanted to kick him to the curb. I did for an hour or so. We made up. I think. For now 😅🥹
He did something awfully thoughtful, last night. I may keep him around. He laughs at my jokes. He is super smart. He enjoys Geordi and Data and Picard. One can’t have enough Star Trek Next Generation friends…hehe
I gotta go, sis. The beloveds need tending to. I need tending to…*sigh*
Yell at The Giants for losing in such spectacular fashion.
missing you Me
P.S. Life is short, beloveds. It’s okay to miss loved ones. It’s okay to reminisce. It’s okay to enjoy what you did before loss or hard moved in
Be encouraged. Enjoy every moment. Think I’ll go see if my friend wants to watch something ridiculous…
I love this! I can express a million versions of me. I am so grateful for technology that allows me to dream where I can see.
I wonder if anyone can understand what I mean. I have had to reinvest myself. I have had to picture myself in new settings.
I think I shall set myself next to The Sydney Opera House…🥰
Where would you put yourself if you could. Give me some ideas and we’ll go together ❤️