I am learning so much about life during these hard times. I am learning so much about myself during these hard times.
I have been surprised at how many times I have actually wanted to quit the last week or so. I have applied to hundreds of jobs. I keep telling myself I just need one.
I gave myself permission to be sad. I turned off the computer. I lay in bed for two days, just refreshing my mind. I told myself to be still and quiet.
I refused to allow discouragement and despair to join my sad. I simply allowed myself the opportunity to feel what I was feeling. I was tired. I was ready for this chapter of my life to be over. I was ready to be making progress in my life financially. Apparently, The Universe has other ideas!
I have been fighting the urge to delete all of my videos. I tell myself, what purpose are they serving?
Then I remember the promise I made to myself. I promised myself I will try. I promised myself I would give what I had. I promised myself I would be OK with being ghosted.
I told my sis I was ready to stop writing and stop making motivational videos because getting no feedback from finding a job and from all of these sources was getting to be a bit discouraging. I told her I had to cut down on the disappointment somewhere.
Still, I found myself getting up with good habits, making my coffee turn on the computer, and reaching out to as many as who will listen.
I look at my efforts and the lack of progress and wonder why the tornado left me behind.
I woke up this morning for you. I got on this computer to tell you that your life is more than what you think. You’re so much farther ahead than you know.
Stop predetermining the outcome, beloveds. You have NO idea how The Universe shall answer your ask, your try, your focus, your determination, your perseverance.
Ask!
Persevere!
Try!
Focus!
Determine to win, no matter the outcome.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: You’ll never know what you can do until you try.
My 60 inch television appears to no longer want to give up it’s bounty!
Add to that, the rent has been increased. Again…*sigh*
Aimlessly, wandering through the television channels has been my ONE true mindless source of entertainment…*sigh*
I have to laugh. Too dismayed all day to cry.
I must admit, beloveds, that I feel just like the black television screen:
Useless.
There, but unable to make it work.
Tantalizingly there but unusable.
Fresh hell.
I tell myself to move FORWARD.
I tell myself to look UP.
I tell myself…
Ah, shut up already, Cassandra!
I ask Life how long it plans to keep on lifing this way.
I ask The Universe to cut a sista a break already.
I am a bit too annoyed to ask God anything at the moment.
Still, I rise.
Yet, I fight on.
I choose to:
Laugh.
Encourage someone.
Love someone.
Starting with me.
I just stopped my what in the fresh hell is this, long enough to encourage someone.
This too, shall pass.
I truly am wondering how many straws I have left. I tell myself there can never be a last straw. I have too many things/thangs to do.
I can betcha that I will NOT look back on this time and laugh…lol.
We got this. Be sure to squeeze some joy out of the day. I am fixing to go make a cup of coffee and holler up to heaven at mom, for a spell. Ah, mom. Why did you have to run off and leave me at a time like this?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Don’t allow tough circumstances to cause you to see nothing but gloom and doom.
In times past, I would have wallowed in self pity for days. Life is much too short for that. Good yikes, tho. My 60 inch television…*pout*. That made me laugh out loud.
Someone cross their fingers for me. I have to take another assessment. Good grief, I have forgotten soooooooooooo much math!😳🤣🙏🛎
Note: Keep going. I know, life can be sooooooooo disappointing when we focus on what we thought should/could/would happen. I am doing my best to get rid of as many shoulda, coulda, and wouldas as I can.
I am proud of my fight this week. Be proud of yours.
