My dreams just did NOT want me to go to bed. They wanted to continue to play in broad daylight!
My dreams were basking in the sunlight upon their face. I enjoyed dancing within their embrace.
When I was working, beloveds, I always lamented about not being able to work when I wanted.
My creativity is most alive in the midnight hours. I love writing in the dead of night. To me, it feels like I am the only one up in the entire world. Me and God yakking. God and me carrying on about any and everything.
I especially love writing, listening to music, praying for folk, daydreaming between the hours of two and four. Ask me why, I still don’t know.
I tend to wind down around 6 or 7 am. Then, ALL I wanted to do was to go to sleep.
The only problem with that was I had to get up and work my PAYING job.😳😴
It was exhausting. It felt like I was up 24/7. Unsustainable.
Before I lost my job, beloveds, I grew more and more restless. What I wanted to do did NOT pay the bills.
What paid the bills was no longer satisfying. Yikes! Egads! Fresh hell.
I prayed and prayed and prayed for a way out.
Silence.
The tornado came.
Loudly.
I find myself rebuilding my financial bricks. With no straw. 😳🙏😫🌊
I am doing my utmost to use what I have. What I have doesn’t seem to be ⚒ working. Not for me, at least.
I’m trying.
The tornado has given me the time to write when I want. So, now I get up at odd hours. I work at weird times. I do breakfast things at the dinner hour. Fantastic!
I hate the tornado happened. The happening, just so happened to have delivered me the opportunity to work when I want. What I have ALWAYS wanted but was too fearful to try.
I chose stability over uncertainty. What good did that do me? I’m smack dab in the middle of the uncertainty I had run from my whole life.😳
Now, I am using what I have.
Use what you have. Do what you can with what you know.
I finally got around to watching “Music Of The Heart” starring Meryl Streep and Angela Bassett.
I had heard of it and had always meant to watch it. Watched it and was wowed. Was terribly moved by the song “Music Of My Heart”.
Prettiest song I have ever heard and says everything I feel for and about God, right now. He really has taught me how to love, how to love me. He showed me the music in my heart.
I have prayed and tried. Tried and prayed. Cried. Cried out. For THIS time.
My time is here. It has arrived. In it’s due season. EVERYTHING shall has it’s due season. Everything.
Nothing we do shall stop the evolution of time. Should we end our end, time continues on.
I stopped by to encourage someone. Ah, beloveds, be encouraged. You shall, as the bible says, reap if you faint not. Keep on in your well doing. Your end shall be sweet.
We got this. Take no heed of the darkness. Turn on the light. Be a light.
We CAN.
We WILL.
I have been saying these things for five years. I have been fighting back the darkness for the past two.
I have wrestled with a live tornado that tore up my city, tore down my confidence and tore up my illusion that true disaster could/would never shake me as badly as it did.
Still, I am here. Still. Thriving. Jobless. Hopeful. Joyful. Expectant. Resilient.
Keep being about being about it EVERY day.
I love you. As does He.asking for A Friend, Cassandra
I had a snack area conveniently located next to my bed. Hence, lazy enjoyed snacking in bed.
I moved my coffee station from next to my work desk. Now, I make later go into the kitchen to make the coffee. This way, I get to stretch my legs, while lazy gets some act right first thing, in the morning!
I have been pondering whether I would have made such drastic changes if not for the tornado I went through.
I will never know. I DO know that I CHOSE to make the devastating event work for my GOOD.
I could have, just as easily, chosen to whine, complain and use the tornado as an excuse to give up. I didn’t. I won’t.
I have used all this hard, to my ADVANTAGE. I have found a want to in me that I had NO idea was there.
I had not the first clue how resilient I actually am. I secretly thought I would cave if things went on “for too long”. This has been far from the case. The harder things have been, the harder I fight. For me. For my dreams.
Ah, beloveds, don’t let your lazy keep you from seeing, from experiencing your resiliency, your tenacity, your strength!
You got this. You do.
Beloveds, these times are here to show you how truly amazing/special you are!
Lift up your head!
You have NOTHING to be ashamed of!
You are exactly where The Universe knew you would be. Everything that has gone on, in your life, has been factored into the equation.
Stop judging yourself so harshly. If you have fallen, laugh, get up, try again. Rinse. Repeat.
In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: You got this. One small step at a time. Celebrate your small victories!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 