Shut it!
Shut up!
Get out!!
Yea, beloveds.
Worry started early, this morning. The landlord has raised the rent. Again! I had a fit last year. Barely scraped by. Just. Whew!
Now, the rent is higher, come October!😳
Last year, when I made that first October payment, I cried. ALL day. I mean it.
This year, after finding the rent has gone up significantly, AGAIN, after I passed out, revived myself, passed out, AGAIN, I promised myself I would NOT spend the year, on financial terror.
I took ALL my bills, er, cares and put them in God’s Lap. And, am leaving them there! Told Him that it is HIS problem. And, since Jesus is My Bestie, He needs to be about being about meeting my needs. The Bible ain’t just a book of cute stories, dontchaknow?
Anywho, worry tried to remind me October was coming. I told worry to shut it and get out of my way!
Now, am having a delightful plate of scrambled eggs, coffee and doing what I can do to alleviate/mitigate and enjoy my day. Life is short. I REFUSE to waste time on things I can’t fix or change, at the moment.
That said, joy can be ours, beloveds, as we live. In the moment. Embracing the day.
I used to, allow my circumstances to control my mood. Then, I would allow my mood to, dictate my actions. Then, I would give my actions permission, to act ten kinds of fool.
I’m so thankful, beloved. I have learned, to cut myself some slack. I have learned how to recognize that I am much more than my mistakes, my failures, and my successes.
I found that I really can do all things through Christ who centers me. I don’t mean to get preachy here. It really bothers me how people have used God to make other people feel bad or do what they wanted them to do. It makes me sad, how people use each other instead of love one another.
In the past, I hid behind walls. I ran away from everything that could cause me pain. I ran away from my hopes and dreams. There were just too hard to carry.
I know now, that I am so much more than I ever gave myself credit for. I spend my days now, beloved, encouraging other people to just be themselves. I want folks to know how much joy they can find in life.
Mostly, I just want folks to know that they truly are love and that they truly are not alone. This world can be difficult because it feels so being while we feel so very small.
I’m talking to myself, beloved’s, as well as talking to you. I’m talking to the 20-year-old me. I’m telling her that I am so sorry that I didn’t believe more in her. I’m telling her that I believe in her now. I’m telling her that she can and that she will.
Life is so much shorter than any of us truly realize. When I lost my mom in 2016, I thought the world was over. It wasn’t. It’s not. Life has so much more to offer me. I just have to be courageous enough to receive it.
I can.
I will.
I wonder now, if I will ever make it where I think I want to be. Who knows? The destination, is no longer my goal. The finish line, is no longer my end or aim. I no longer need a cheering crowd. I no longer need adoring fans.
Tell worry to shut up!
Tell fear to shut up!
Tell about to shut up!
Then, get up and go anyway.
This life, the loveless, it’s all that you have. Live, with attention. Live, withhold. Live, with joy.
Don’t let anybody tell you what you can and cannot do or be. Especially, you. Encourage yourself, beloved. Enjoy your life. Embrace the hard. Be still and know that you don’t have to do this life by yourself.
Love somebody. Start with you. Don’t let another moment passed that you don’t recognize how truly awesome your life is. It’s an honor to be around you. You are a blessing. Period. End of story.
What you waiting for, beloved? Get going now.
Be encouraged,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 
as always beautifully written, beautifully spoken beautifully sister…..your journey is far from over . ❤️