Month: September 2023

Real talk: What do you do…

What do you do…

When you are ready to give up:

On, your dreams?

On…YOU?

I don’t know.

I can’t.

I want to.

Tired of:

Trying.

Giving.

Caring.

With no give back, no try back, no care back.

I fight on.

Still.

Why?

Real talk?

My dreams won’t leave me be.

Damn them.

They are damning me.

To days of endless searching.

For:

If I knew, I wouldn’t be in pursuit…still.

Still.

Still!!

I dare not:

Give up.

Yet.

On, me.

On, my dreams.

Fresh hell!!

This feels like hell.

Apparently, I have more diamonds to collect in these worn out shoes.

keeping it moving/real,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I wanted to give up chasing these stupid dreams that won’t change a blasted thing for a stupid world stupid enough to keep ignoring someone as fantastic as me!

Even if I give up on my dreams, I can’t let you give up on yours, can I? Your dreams are too important. Keep going. As for me, I am going to keep it real, with me, and admit these dreams are just too heavy, today. Someone watch out for them, today. Asking for a friend…

And that’s okay.

I may not make it…

And that’s okay.

I may not reach my goals…

And that’s okay.

I may never marry…

And that’s okay.

I may spend the rest of my life seeking…

And that’s okay

I may forever dance alone…

And that’s okay.

The Universe may never give me my bounty…

And that’s okay

I may never reach the finish line…

And that’s okay.

I may never know the comforting arms of a lover…

And that’s okay.

I shall continue to try.

I shall continue to strive.

I shall continue to love.

And that’s okay.

Still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Heart❤check:

Just popped in to check on your heart.

Mine is a bit heavy, at the moment. Life doing all kinds of mysterious, life things which is getting on my last nerves.

Add a fever, I can’t shake, due to doing too much, resting too little and who knows why and you have one case of…pitiful.

I told myself that nobody give two hoots, anyway, so take the day off from telling folks to be encouraged.

Nah.

The main reason, I am doing a heart check, is because I wish someone would do a heart check on me!

Be encouraged.

Know, your efforts are NOT in vain.

I shall be here, tomorrow, if for no other reason then to say:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 🥵😳🤒

Broken plates: Eating still.

This has been an exceptionally hard year, financially.

I have been behind, all year. The more I tried to catch up, the worst things have gotten. It also seems to be, that the more I have prayed, the worst things have gotten. The more I have tried to stay the course, the more off course I appear to have gotten, financially.

That said, I have been strengthened, by my try. My faith, has been strengthened, by my try. My joy, has been strengthened, by my try,

I have had all kind of spinning plates. it has been tough. Trying, to keep them spinning. Finally, the plates came tumbling down.

Broken.

Shattered.

I look upon broken plates.

I am shattered.

Shattered.

No matter.

I’ve been down, before.

I pick up the pieces.

I am grateful.

Broken plates, which still can be used.

I.eat, still.

Now, upon broken plates.

I understand, now, circumstances/situations were broken, not me.

Ah.

Aha!

It can be hard, to remember we are NOT the things that happen to us. Things happen. They do. Yet, we are NOT those things. They happened. They will continue to happen. We must continue to live, to hope, to dream.

Although, your plates may have come tumbling down, beloveds, continue eating. Upon, broken plates. Plates, which still contain the sustenance you need. To, survive. To, thrive.

Keep going. Yes, looking upon broken plates can be discouraging. It’s okay to be disappointed. Keep eating.

With every broken piece/plate, I find I am:

Strengthened.

Stablished.

Hopeful.

Joyful.

Resolute.

Relentless.

Try, beloveds, not to take it too hard when things get broken, in your life. Things break. Does not mean it’s the end, for you. It just means something was broken. Things can be mended. Things can be repaired. What can’t be repaired CAN be replaced.

I have learned not to set my heart upon, things. I have set my heart upon, making memories. Making, moments. Making, the most of my life, and the lives of others. The rest will come out, in the wash.

Keep, dreaming. Keep, hoping. Keep, loving. Every day.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone.

Keep on being you.

I hear a cup of coffee calling my name.

Take care of you for me.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Refill your heart.

Refill your heart.

You have given all you know to have given. Do something for your heart.

I spent a quiet afternoon, drinking coffee and thinking of my mom. I miss her. I used to push thoughts of her away. They hurt too much. Now, those thoughts bring me great joy.

I have spent a quiet afternoon, writing. Satisfying. Comforting. I have spent a quiet afternoon, wondering what the universe is thinking about me.

I have spent a quiet afternoon, listening to music I love that feels my spirit. My heart is being refilled. Renew. Transformed.

It’s important to refill. Refill your heart. Do some self maintenance. You don’t have to wait for someone else. Be sure to love yourself today. Take the time to rest. Leave the rest, to the universe to take care of.

I have been feeling my age, lately. I no longer wonder how many days I have left. I just use the day, to the best of my ability. I try to love as much as I can, in the day. I try to refill, as many hearts as I can, with encouragement and love, in the day. I don’t always feel, successful. I may not always be, successful. I try, anyway.

I think I hear another cup of coffee, calling for me. I think I hear some chocolate chip cookies, asking to be baked. I think I hear my stomach say, to refill it with coffee and cookies. Ah. I shall be off. Refilling, me. Praying, for you.

Being refilled/renewed,

Cassandra

Rest.

Rest.

Trying so hard to take my own advice. I’m on my second cup of decaf. I wonder what I can say to myself to get myself to rest. I want to be so much farther than I am. I want to be somewhere else although I don’t mind being where I am right now.

I want to be doing more. Yet, I don’t know what that more is. No longer satisfied, with being unsatisfied. In the meantime, I’m doing the best I can to live in the moment, in the meantime. In the meantime, is driving me up 10 walls. Just makes me tired. I need to rest.

Rest.

A whole lot harder, than it seems. The more I try to rest, the more restless, I become. Rest, why can’t I find you? I shall keep looking for you. Maybe, you’re sitting there. With, my dreams.

I hope.

I dream.

I try.

Restlessly dreaming,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Driven.

Driven.

I am driven.

Where?

Why?

I feel like I can change the world.

Whose?

Mine?

Yours?

Words, MY words, whisper to me. They tell me that, I, me, Cassandra, can make a difference. Maybe, THE difference. And, so can you.

We are being driven.

Where?

Why?

History is replete with those who were called. Some, went. Most, did not.

I go.

Where?

Why?

I’ll tell you when we get there…

going somewhere/somehow,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Something inside, has ALWAYS told me….ack. I don’t know! Just to encourage folk and let them know things are NOT always what they seem.

Be encouraged. I’ve said those two words for decades. I shall say them, til I speak no more…

This is your moment!

This is your moment! https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxS-UYeuiFO/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

It’s too early to be this hyped…sheesh…

*Cassandra heads back to bed*…😴🎶🎸🎹🎤🎷🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You need a note after THAT?!😳

Peanut gallery:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

Make some joy bubbles.

I have a weird 😂 laugh.

Which makes me laugh, when I laugh.

It feels me with joy.

I call it my joy bubbles.

Why?

It makes me laugh, to say that, which makes me laugh, which makes more joy bubbles.

😆

We need to make more joy bubbles, don’t you think?

Life is so very short. I’m doing the best that I can and make the most of my life I miss my mom. I miss others that have passed away. I hate that I was not able to buy mamma home like I had always wanted to now, I must make a home among all without my mom

I’m doing my best, mom. I wish you were here. I wish you could see me now, mom. I wish I could hear your crazy laugh. I wish I could leave my head on your Buddha belly I wish so many things.

I’m trying, mom. Can you see me?

Laugh with me mom. Let’s make joy bubbles together, okay?

This year has gone mighty fast I have scarcely been able to keep up with it.

Make some joy bubbles, beloved. Life is shorter than any of us know.

Leave regrets behind. There is no changing the past. Move forward. Move on. Move beyond.

Beyond:

The past.

Past, mistakes.

Mistakes are just that.

Begin.

Again.

Then, again, if needed.

Rinse.

Repeat.

One step.

One step.

One step.

Be encouraged.

Take care of yourself for me.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Healing: Some things(dreams) must be 💔 broken.

I broke my ankle many years ago. It hurt. Yet, it healed much stronger.

I have to admit though, I became afraid to skate after that I was afraid I would break my ankle again. I stopped skating.

I hate to say this. But, I did my dreams like that, as well. I told myself they were just too hard to keep carrying around. I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Yet, I let myself listen to people who told me I was just too damn loud. Still, something inside me always had that dream.

Now, I’m doing the best I can to make my dream come. I fail, every day. Every day, my heart breaks a little bit more and more. Every day. Every moment, my world shatters as my dream remains, unfulfilled.

Broken.

Humbled.

Battered.

Into, submission.

Submitting, now. Learning. Growing. Broken. Pieces, used now, for new things. Broken pieces, now making me, into a new me. Broken pieces. Now beautiful. Broken pieces. Now, a masterpiece!

Some things, must be broken. Some dreams, must be broken. In order, for The Universe, to make something new.

New!

Be encouraged, beloveds. If you have been broken, be encouraged. You are being made into a brand-new thing. Rejoice!

I don’t mind when hard breaks thing, in me. In fact, I get excited. For, I know life is making ME into something fantastic!

You can have the last laugh, beloveds. You WILL have the last laugh. Ha!

When your whole world seems shaken and turned upside down, don’t despair. The Universe is making a new dream inside you. Be patient, with you. Say ow, when it hurts. Laugh, when you can. Be still and know…

It’s okay, to be discouraged. It’s okay, to be disappointed. It’s okay, to be frustrated, as things get broken in your life. This time WILL pass. Make sure you stay joyful. Don’t allow your broken pieces, to break you. You SHALL be restored. You SHALL be renewed. You SHALL be transformed.

You are healing, beloveds. Healing, takes time. Healing, is lonely. Healing, hurts. Most people, are afraid to do the hard work of healing. Be proud of yourself, beloveds. You have and are doing what is necessary to live a good life. Let this be enough, okay?

Keep going. You don’t go alone.

Remember:

You are loved.

You are not alone. Period

Keep on being… YOU.

Here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, really? Smh. Be about being about it.