I awoke…
Hopeful.
I awoke…
Ready.
I awoke…
Hmmm?
I awoke!
It feels like I have been living a waking nightmare. Terrified, of the present. Fearful, of the future.
I don’t know why. Before, I was content to keep on keeping on. Before, I reached 55, I was perfectly satisfied with being satisfied and waiting for my dreams to arrive.
I don’t know what in the fresh hell has gotten into 55! 55 keeps running around. Stamping, snorting and wailing about how short time is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I know. I know, I keep telling 55. Be patient. Let me get things together.
No!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
55 is about to drive me up ten walls. I don’t know what to DO with this stranger, 55, me, Cassandra. ME!
Where did this ME come from?! She is:
Terrifying.
Unafraid.
Ready to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Wait, I say.
Wait!
I am not ready!
So what?!!
55 keeps shouting, ‘so what’ in my ears. Waking me, in the midnight hour(s).
Go way, I say.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We got thangs to do, 55 shouts at me.
I don’t know what to DO with her. She is running around making plans. She is packing up and getting ready to live her dream of being near the ocean. She cares not one whit that she knows not where or how or why or what. She is just ready to goooooooooooo!!
Fresh hell, Universe, what do I DO with her? What do I do with ME, now? I can scarcely sit still. My comfort zone no longer suits. No longer fits this me. THIS ME!!!!
Ah, God, what do I DO WITH ME NOW?
asking for a friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: If this piece, and others, appear to be half finished…they are. I am creating each piece, my life, in real time. I wish I had complete answers. I am learning it’s okay to NOT have the answers, in full. Not just yet. If ever. Ah, I see I am leaving out commas, on purpose. To let myself know that it IS okay to create new rules for me. Whew! Have to leave a comma, or two, sprinkled else the lungs won’t do their lungery things.
Be encouraged. It’s time for us to launch out. On HOPE, this time. Not, fear. Not, doubt. Not, foreboding. The unknown is simply unknown. Let us take an adventure, shall we? There is no telling who we may meet. We have NO idea where we shall end up. Ah!…*delicious shiver*.
Let’s go, eh? We have spent enough time in the shallows, haven’t we? Let’s find some others to take with. Don’t forget to bring some snacks! I shall make my world famous Double Chocolate Chip Muffins! I may, or may not, however, share…hehe…
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 