Every since mom passed, I have been running around like the scarecrow, in The Wizard of Oz. Afraid, of my own shadow. Afraid, of what to do, next. Afraid, of what to do, now.
Afraid. Ack!
I’m no longer afraid to admit to being afraid, so there is that. It was only after finding the courage, to say ‘I am not strong’ that I found the courage to admit to having lived a life full of fear.
Not for others. Just me. I could fight, and did, valiantly, for everyone on earth, except me. What on earth is that????????????!
Get it together, Cassandra, The Universe said to me. I listened. I got it together. For ME, this time.
It’s amazing what happens when one decides NOT to focus on the what ifs, of life. Instead, choosing to focus on the why nots?
Why not?
Why NOT, me?
Why not, ME?
Why not, I ask 55?
Maybe, perchance, perhaps, I may stumble upon dreams, once imagined, never imagined, unimaginable?
Could this be?
Could this actually BE?
In the here?
In my now?
MY now?
Not something I have read about.
Ah, Cassandra. Do you have the guts to try?
No.
So what!?
I will.
Do what?
Beats me.
*shrug*.
God and Life know and They ain’t tellin’.
Yeppers, I was most efficient, beloveds, taking on the full weight of the world. I heaved everyone else’s rocks/buckets and filled them. For them. Exhausted, I had little, to nothing, to spare for me.
So, my rocks, stayed, at the bottom of the hill. And, my bucket(s), stayed, empty.
Ack! Yikes! Egads!
betting on me,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I told hard to shut up, this morning. Rather, I told my feels to shut up. Life was being hard. So what? I had been so focused on how hard life was being, I forgot to just be. I forgot to keep on keeping on. I forgot to be about being about it.
All I saw, beloveds, all I FELT was the hard. Which, made me exhausted. Too exhausted, I told myself, to keep my act right acting right.
This morning, I found myself enjoying my job. I forgot about system issues. I forgot about troublesome life issues. I forgot the hard. I remembered to embrace my day. ALL of it!.
Life is short, beloveds. Don’t let the hard discourage you. Hard is your bestie. Hard keeps you focused. Hard keeps you trying. Keep going. You CAN. You SHALL. You already have. Simply by trying. Still.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
- IT ME!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 
Cassandra, your post is deeply moving and incredibly inspiring. It takes immense courage to face personal fears and transform them into a journey of self-discovery and growth. Your resilience and determination to focus on the ‘why nots’ instead of the ‘what ifs’ is admirable. How do you find the strength to keep moving forward and what advice would you give to others who might be struggling with similar fears? 🌟💪
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Justin, I tell on myself to help give others a smidge of courage just to take ONE step when they want to take none.
When my mom passed away Christmas morning 2016 I wanted to take my toys and go home. I did. God gently whispered for me to just try. Just to try. Even when it hurts. Especially when it does.
There are truly days my want to does not want to. I make myself choose to try. Why? Life is short. Yet, it’s STILL worth living.
You don’t need courage to try. Courage is often too afraid. Tell fear and courage to kick rocks, Justin, then just try. Let’s keep trying together, eh? You CAN. You WILL.
Lastly, it’s thinking of folks like YOU, who respond, or read silently, that helps me keep my act right acting right. I promised myself when I am my most discouraged that I would encourage someone as there has to be someone who needed to know they were loved and not alone.
How’d I do? I would also tell you My Bestie, Jesus keeps me keeping on but didn’t want to sound preachy. Also, cuz I was and am going to be talking to Him about you the rest of the day. Be encouraged. 🥰❤️
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