Can I be honest with you beloveds? Just for a little bit? Will you promise not to tell on me?
I’ve been getting in my own way. How? If I would have been honest, I would admit that I have been letting fear run the show. Just a little bit of fear, here. A touch of worry, there.
Not enough to be obvious. Just enough to stop my dreams in their tracks.
Fear can be a tricky thing. Fear will sneak up on you when you least expect it to. Every time you think you have things conquered , fear will show up and say, ha ha.
I am learning to fight fear where I find it. I seem to have found it everywhere these last few weeks.
I have found it in my age. I have found it in my finances. I have found it in my aloneness. I have founded in my health. Finally, fear showed up in my dreams.
And that beloveds, was the last straw!
I have been needing to clean out the lint trap in the dryer. I have been lazy. Which means all I have been doing is racking up higher power bills and taking much longer to dry the laundry.
Instead of taking 5 minutes to clean out the lint trap, I have been lazy and restarting the laundry telling myself the clothes will get dry sooner or later. Smh.
I don’t know why us humans keep doing the dumb thing. Not doing the right thing at the right time and expecting to have different results. Smh.
I’m learning how to do the right things at the right time no matter how I feel. I am learning how to clean out the link trap in my own life.
I have been doing the hard work of confronting myself and being honest about my fears and why I’m afraid of this and that.
What I am learning is that most of my fears come from the fears of others. I’m afraid because they were afraid. I’m afraid I can’t do it because they never did it or believed they could.
I think I can. I want to try. I am trying. My try just does not seem to be enough these days.
My tears have been my meat as a bible says. My tears have water disappointment and discouragement for days. My tears have chased me into bed. My tears have making me awaken in the night.
Yet, my tears, water my hope. My tears, rain down upon my joy. My tears, accompany my footsteps as I keep walking towards my dreams.
I promised myself I would try. For me.
I’m doing my best to stay out of my way. I’m doing my utmost to get out of my own way. Life is short.
Be encouraged. Keep trying. We should get there some kind of way.
In the meantime, enjoy your life. Get out of your own way. Remember to clean out your lint traps!
fighting on,
Cassandra
Note: One step at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 