There is greatness within you God said to me.
He has been telling me this for the past 55 years. I find it hard, at times, to believe Him. I have been finding it harder, still, to believe in ME.
Every since mom passed Christmas Morning 2016, I have been hunting down my confidence. She took it with her. I think. I know it left when SHE left. I don’t know why.
To this day, I have to fight to reassure myself I CAN.
I don’t know if you, beloveds, struggle with keeping your act right after a terribly awful loss. Loss is tough. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very hard to get over. To move past. To move on.
We must. Crap!
I promised mom I would live my best life.
Today was a good day. I made many folk laugh. I only screwed up about ten times…..hahahahaha!!
I made the perfect cup of coffee.
I had goofy conversations with my twin and my big brother.
I talked briefly with a friend. I was able, I think, to help another friend.
Ah, life is good. Even when it is hard.
I was able to help someone receive something desperately needed. I prayed and asked God to come through for MY own desperate need. Until He does, I shall keep doing what I can to encourage others.
To keep it a buck, like my friend says, I am going to keep on encouraging folk if I never see my dreams come to life to the extent I wish them to.
There is no greater joy than encouraging folk. Not to me.
I wish, beloveds, I could erase your every pain. I wish, soooooooooo do I wish, beloveds, I could meet your every need. I can’t. All I can do, all I DO do, is take your needs before The Father.
I even take the needs for those who don’t believe in or care for God. I don’t blame them. So very much hurt has been done by folk, in the name of God. Makes me sad. It hurts my soul how folks treat one another.
I was talking to my big bro and told him all I can do is to be the best me I can. At least, I am trying to be one who is a light. I can’t speak for all those who choose to live in and promote darkness. All I can do, all I shall do is pray for every soul and keep on keeping on.
I love you, beloveds. I thank you for spending whatever time you do here. I appreciate every like. I joy over every heart lightened if only by a smidge by something ridiculous I have done.
I don’t know how, yet, or if I shall ever find the way to monetize my gifts so I can do all the things I want to do. If I never find the way, I shall keep doing what I can.
Ah, beloveds, I dream of the day where I can be deliciously ridiculous ALL day. It hurts my heart when I have to stop writing/praying/cutting up as I have to go to bed to start work again.
I’m trying to reconcile a world where my joy keeps me worldly penniless whilst bringing me tremendous blessings eternally. Ah, God, why You keep paying with my dreams? Where are YOU?
asking for a friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Ah, God. Where you at???
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on beingβ¦YOU!