Now that we have established that beloveds, you can go ahead and get on about your day!
Life is what we make it. We will always have periods when life is being especially tough. That’s okay. You will make it to the other side. The trick is in what piece will you make it to the other side?
I am so embarrassed over all the times I gave up on myself and things got super hard. Having a tornado knock on your front door really does put life into its proper perspective.
It’s still hard taking a trash out and seeing all the destruction and everything that is gone now. Things are being rebuilt slowly. I am being rebuilt. Too slowly for me. I want to be whole already. I want to be healed already.
I don’t know why this tornado is harder than the other two tornadoes I survived. Maybe it’s because I had to go through it alone. I truly did think I was going to die. We were thinking about that moment is still tough.
I am still asking God why He left me here? I don’t know why I am fighting with Survivors guilt a year later. I need a counselor I can’t afford.
In the meantime, I will continue to encourage as many people as I can. You can get past the hard parts of life. You will. Be encouraged.
I keep telling myself that hard ain’t nothing but a word. I got this. God has me. He has you as well. I am praying for us all. Hurry, God, we need some help. We could all use some finances. We could all use some peace. We could all do with some joy. We truly all need an extra heaping, helping of Unconditional Love.
asking for all my friends. Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: It NEVER fails to uplift me, beloveds, to come here, read your comments and be encouraged. Yall keep me laughing at my dumbness. You give me hope. You help me remember that I, too, am loved and not alone. There a few regulars that respond EVERY day. Every one. On my most discouraged/disappointed days, when I wonder why the world I am wasting my fingers, a like will pop up, a word will be spoken, and my heart will be refilled.
I thank each and every one of you for taking the time to stop by. You are more than a silent witness. You are a precious soul which has touched mine. I am grateful. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. Be blessed, okay?
I was listening to someone on a channel I follow. She was talking about moving over to Substack.
I had no idea what that was or what it was for. Apparently, “everyone” is moving their content THERE.
Just as folk flocked to this platform, to that platform, to whatever platform was popular.
I looked up some videos. I became excited about another way to Express myself in a deeper way, or so I told myself.
I imagined reimagining myself there. I planned a wondrous entrance. One in which I proclaimed to the world:
“I’M HERE! HERE ME ROAR!!”
“RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAARRR”
I daydreamed. Of all the heart connections I could possibly make. Of all the lives I could possibly touch. Of all the different topics I could/would discuss.
THIS would be my chance to expose my writing skills! This would be my chance to PROVE, finally, that I COULD write.
This thought, beloveds, began to intimidate me….yikes.
REAL writers would see MY work!!?😳 How could I possibly be my crazy, weird, making up crazy word self there and be respected, as a writer, still?!
Then, I planned some pieces. Surely, I would have to stop calling folk “beloveds”. Surely, I would have to stop saying “folk” in my pieces.
Surely, I would have to conform to a more structured form. I would HAVE to be more mindful of comma usage/placement!!
I would have to stop saying things like “thangs”. I would certainly HAVE to stop saying “Heckamiah Jeremiah” from time to time.
I would have to water down my “spiritual side”, so as not to scare REAL readers/writers.
I would have to write seriously at ALL times.
That was last night. I found the writing police had pulled me over, snatched me from the clouds, tossing me painfully back to earth.
Chastened, I woke. I came here. Forlorn, I stalked passed the notification that I had posted for 634 consecutive days.
Sad, I told myself to stay on THIS platform. I could do what I could in my SMALL way. Who would/was listening anywho?
Who but my peeps, here, would care about me, over there.
In the midst of my anxt/lament, The Universe happened by and asked what was wrong.
I said I was sad I would have to dim my light, over there, in order to prove that I was a REAL writer.
The Universe: You have been writing here for five years. You have been writing for most of your life.
Me: Yea, but none of THAT has been REAL writing among REAL writers.
The Universe: What makes a writer REAL? In fact, what makes a writer a writer? Is it the audience?
Me: Well, no.
The Universe: What then?
Me: Writer’s write.
The Universe: Have you been writing?
Me: Well, yea.
The Universe: Nuff said.
Me: K.
Beloveds, YOU are the platform. YOU are the most important ingredient in your equation.
YOUR voice.
YOUR way.
Keep on being YOU no matter where you go. You do NOT need anyone to validate your gifts and talents. They are yours.
Now, those gifts and talents may not be everyone’s cup of tea. We may not, we shall not be loved and valued by everyone.
That’s okay. Our tribe is out there. One of my tribes is HERE. NOW. Writing MY way. Loving MY way. Caring MY way. That’s what life is about, eh?
Don’t let doubt lie to you. Keep moving FORWARD. Keep branching out. Keep trying new platforms and ways of being.
Be encouraged. Have an amazing rest of today. I love you.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Do what you do. Be who you are. I AM a writer! How do I KNOW, beloveds? Because, I write.
Whether I am a GOOD writer is a completely different question on a different day. You will have to tell me.🥰🤣😎😳
Don’t let the darkness fool you. Get out your flashlight!
I have to keep reminding myself that every time I allow myself to focus on the waves and the hard that I tend to get discouraged. Otherwise, my day goes by pretty joyfully.
The holidays are hard for me. Being alone, they remind me of Mom, now gone. I miss her.
I almost found myself wanting to wallow in despair. I refuse to allow myself that luxury. I can’t afford it. I have one life to live. I have just this one life to give. I can’t waste these moments.
Since I didn’t know what to do about my dreams, I decided to encourage other folk to continue to pursue theirs. It made me feel better. It made me forget about my disappointments and discouragement. Doing so helped me to refocus on the goals that I have for my future. I remembered I do have a future. Still.
Be encouraged, beloveds. We still have a future. There is so much unrest and unsavory things going on in the world. It’s easy to want to give in to despair and hopelessness. We can NEVER do that. Never, no never, neva, not going to happen on my watch people!!
When it gets dark, just turn on the flashlight. Remember that the sun will shine and have her time.
I turned on “We Are The World” and am now serenading half the neighborhood. Poor neighbors…I sowwy.
Beloveds, this world is what WE make it. Let’s do what WE can, in our corner of it, shall we?
I love you, beloveds. More than you know. I pray for each and every subscriber and for all of your families. Especially for the nonbelievers out there. I don’t blame a one of you. In fact, I would like to take a belt to soooooooooooooooooooooo many folk who defiantly call themselves “Christians” who act like hell on wheels. Don’t get me started…whew..*Cassandra prays for all knuckleheads, er folks, who need some serious act right and a boot to the rear or…*…..oppps….lol.
Laugh, beloveds. Live, beloveds. Life is short. Life is so much more than chasing a bag, focusing on the hard, and being disagreeable to folk who don’t agree with us or look like us. Let’s all do better towards one another okay? Mini rant/lecture over. Listening to “We Are The World” ALWAYS makes me want to run around hollering at everyone to love one another. Things keep going the way they are, beloveds, you just may see a viral TikTok with some old, crazy, black woman tearing around the neighborhood hollering “love one another, already!”
Have an amazingly, awesome day.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: We ARE the world. What kind of world are YOU providing?
Keep it pushing when the last thing you want to do is keep it pushing.
Keep it moving. When it’s the last thing you want to do is keep it moving.
The dam will break at some point. We just don’t know when. We just don’t know what will be the last blow.
Be encouraged. There will be a last blow. There is a time and season for everything under the sun.
I didn’t feel like pushing back. I push back anyway. I have to. If I don’t push back, the darkness will win. I have too many things to do to allow that to happen. Besides, we can see fireworks in the dark….lol
We get so many opportunities to either show up, give up, show out, or give in. I CHOOSE to continue betting on ME. What about you, beloveds?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep pushing back. Eventually, hard will get bored and go mess with someone else…
Okay, I was mini ranting about God being awfully silent, when God showed up and got awfully loud…
Me: Yada, yada, yada, God ain’t doing nada. Yada, yada…
God: What could YOU be DOING while you are supposedly, apparently, not really waiting PATIENTLY for Me to complete the promises I have already told you I was GOING to do. Notice, I did not say I may. I said “Yes” when you asked. For the millionth time. Again, what can YOU be DOING as you WAIT, beloved?
Me: Ehem, opps. Yikes.
Then, asked myself what I could be doing. I came up with a list quick, fast, and in a hurry:
Write.
Get up.
Encourage someone.
Encourage myself.
Feed myself uplifting music.
Make myself a nourishing meal.
Make a grateful list.
Yak with family.
Reach out to a friend.
Be good to me.
Read my bible.
Watch something uplifting/encouraging.
Work on my goals.
Daydream about my POSITIVE futre.
Take a walk.
Tell fear to take a hike.
Drown doubts in the shower.
Chair dance.
Sing badly.
Make a terribly corny video I have no idea how to upload/export/download or whatever in the fresh hoohah one needs to do to get going!!! Ack!…..oopps. scuze me….
The list could have went on all day. What did I DO, beloveds? I stopped complaining about God’s Silence and got loud up in the house!!……YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!
I just stopped ’round to ask somebody what they were going to DO…NOW. Not, tomorrow. Not after they have allowed fear/dread/doubt to beat the fresh hell out of them all day.
What are you going to do NOW?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: There will always be something going on. What we will do about those things? I’m done whining and complaining about things. I’m changing things I can. I’m mitigating the things I can’t change. I’m living with what is.
Life is about making connections and corrections. I’m doing my best to make as many positive connections as I can. I’m doing all I know to make as many healthy corrections as I can.
Be good to yourself as you do the same. Have an amazing today.
No more retreating. No more surrendering crucial ground.
I’m done giving up on me. I fight for me now, with all that is within me. Life is much too short to do otherwise.
Don’t give up. Not just yet. Life will give up its bounty to us. We just have to keep fighting one day at a time. We just have to keep on keeping on. We have to just keep encouraging ourselves and others.
There’s too much in us for us to quit. We can. We have to.
Lift up your head. Turn on the light. Put one foot in front of the other. Let the past go. Embrace the future.
Draw your own line in the sand. Declare what you will and will not put up with. Live your life with intention. There are no victims here. We get to choose our actions, our emotions. Our behaviors every single day. Choose well.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Choose you. Choose your dreams. Choose to love. Choose to care. The world needs what only you have to provide. I love you.
Note: 😎😁. More men need to speak up on women’s behalf. Where yall at? We love and support yall. Support us back. Asking for ALL the ladies in the house.
We simply choose to make things harder than they need to because things don’t/won’t/didn’t do as we want them to all the time.
Life could give two hoots about what we want. Life is going to life. Life is going to work with those who work with it. Life is going to work against those who work against it.
Simple as that.
Life is not hard. Hard is hard. There IS a difference. Once you understand this, beloveds, life becomes quite simple…😎💯🥰🫶
Be encouraged. Stop making life so hard. It’s…hehe. You fill in the blank.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Have an amazing day. Be encouraged. Things will work out as they need to.
God spoke when I shut up whining, er, complaining, er, praying. 💯🤣
Nuff said. I sowwy, Father. Oops.
*Cassandra promises to stop all the carrying on and to carry on*
Geez, Cassandra…
Kinda hard to hear, beloveds when we are full of fear, doubt, despair, apathy, hopelessness, and all their friends.
This last year has been teaching me HOW to accept the fact that I am just one human soul trying her best to make it in the world. Simple as that.
I can understand now why I have not yet been able to find a job. The universe keeps standing in my way so I can face the fact that I am more than what I produce. I used to define myself on how hard I could run myself into the ground for everyone in the world.
I was raised to empty everything I had and to pour it into everything, into everyone, everywhere.
Don’t get me wrong. I love giving. I love extinct myself. It’s the overextending that gets us into trouble.
The world would have you believe you HAVE to continually be there for people twenty-four hours of every single day, or you just don’t count a matter. This is simply not true.
I am 56 years old. I have been working most of my life. I had work non-stop for most of that time.
Before the tornado last year, I have never taken an extended period of time off. I had been struggling for the last few years before that. I was tired. I was exhausted. I need to break so badly.
My spirit kept telling me. I needed at least a year off to rest. In fact, my heart had been asking me to take a year off to just rest, write, breathe, and see what life had to offer.
I told myself I couldn’t. I had to be there for everyone. Someone might need me in that time. I had bills to pay.
I used every excuse in the book. Yet, I was so tired. I began to resent being at work. I loved my job. I enjoyed the people I worked with. Still, I was tired, and I wanted to take a break.
The tornado decided things for me. I was torn. At times, I am still torn. Muscle memory tells me.I should be working myself into the ground still.
God tells me to rest. I fought with guilt for many months. Even now, I fight with a tad bit of guilt that I should be doing SOMETHING to help SOMEONE. To be doing SOMETHING for some reason or other.
Inadvertently, the tornado has given me the year off I have been craving for, for the last decade or so!
God knows I NEEDED this time to truly heal. I had never given myself permission to grieve mom’s loss in 2016.
I had never given myself permission to grieve the loss of having to uproot my life and move to a state I had never lived in when the job decided to close where I was working with 60 days notice! I had 60 days to find a job, find a car, move myself to one state while helping my sis move to another.
On top of THAT, I ended up losing more than 3,000 dollars after being scammed by a “friend” who had a truck and business who I paid, upfront, to move my things and move sis and her things.
None of that happened. The driver never showed up. I ended up having to lose EVERYTHING except what I could pack into the car I eventually found. I ended up giving most of my things away and leaving the rest on the literal curb for folk to pick up.
I had no choice. I had to be working in my new town in two months’ time. In the meantime, I still had to work.
In the meantime, we had to convince our mom to have her leg amputated, or she would be dead within the next few hours/data. Initially, she said no. So, I had to have a possible last call with mom. I didn’t pressure her. I supported her decision. I prepared to let her go. She had the surgery.
I moved. Alone. Mom made it til that Christmas morning, 2016. She died. I kept working. No break. I was tired. Sooooooooooo tired.
No time to grieve the loss of mom, my money, my things, my sense of self, my bearings. On top of this, I now had to support two households as it took sis and my income to survive.
Things worked themselves out but left me a tired, in need of a rest, worn out, devastated, secretly dying inside person who desperately needed TIMS off.
Toss in a few illnesses, some bad storms, a few terribly tough work situations, and you can image the mess that was me BEFORE the tornado.
Starting my blog, five years ago, was the beginning of healing for me. God told me to write after mom died. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t bear her loss. I can’t bear it now.
I say all that so you can understand I really did need a break….lol
I am finally resting. I am finally grieving all my losses. I’m finally giving myself permission to feel all the things I have not allowed myself to feel since 2016. It has been hard. It has been lonely. It has been difficult.
It has also been joyful. It has also been freeing. It has also been wonderful. It has been hopeful. It is been many things.
I understand why God has been silent. He knew I needed this time to hear from my own heart. He knew I needed this time to be still. He knew I needed this time to understand I am much more than what I have done in my jobs and for others.
I just stopped by to let someone know it’s OK to rest. It’s OK to give yourself permission to grieve a loss. It’s OK to understand that you don’t have to understand all the time.
I am also here to tell someone there is true healing and peace on the other side of grief and hard.
I’m sorry I went so deep for a bit there. My heart needed to let all of that go. Thank you for allowing me the freedom to do so here. I am free from all of that pain. Yes, I miss Mom terribly. Yes, those were some tough days. Still, they help bring out the best in me. They brought me to this blog. They brought me to you!
Life is worth living. Even when it’s hard. You will get through what you need to get through. Keep moving forward. Keep looking up. I love you. So does He
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Whew, eh? Be encouraged. All things really will and do work together for good for those…
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 