Author: Cassandra S.

Life, we are having a 🎂 cake-date!

Ha!

I am calling a moratorium on sucking it up.

I am calling a time out on pulling oneself up by the 👢 bootstraps.

I am calling a halt to being a out being about it no matter the hard.

Ha!

*Cassandra tosses overboard ALL the 🍋 lemons folk have been carrying*

Beloveds,  just for today we are NOT taking the high road.

Today, we are allowing ourselves to FEEL. Badly if needed. Sad as necessary.

Our losses hurt. We are TIRED of hurting dammit!

We are EXHAUSTED from losing, from preparing to lose.

Fresh hell.

Today, we are having 🎂. A cake-date.

Beloveds, put down the weight and allow yourself permission to be human. We will deal with hard, tomorrow.

Today, we having 🎂!

Be encouraged. We shall get through what we need to get through…TOMORROW!

telling hard to kick rocks today,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s okay to be weary from having to forever have to suck it up. It is what it is is terribly discouraging, depressing AND distressing, at times. That’s okay. We SHALL be okay. Tomorrow.

Be encouraged. Who else have treats for our cake-date? Asking for A Friend…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: Try something new.

Who knew?!

😳

I have spent the day clicking on new channels and exploring new worlds.

I had NO idea there was such a thing as Writer Twitter!

God has put on my heart to learn about other people, other places, other things. It has been an eye opener.

I have come across all kinds of walks of life.

I have enjoyed experiencing aspects from all over the world. I have been particularly delighted in my German commenter who has delighted me with what life is like in his country. Okay, the rest of yall, please comment and let me know what you enjoy about your country and your country. I soooooooooooooooooooooooo enjoy seeing how much folk love where they are from.

I have also been enjoying trying new food concoctions. Nothing has been more delightful then tossing cans of whatever and mixing them with some what the world are thats?!…*delicious shiver*.

I have also started listening to AND enjoying audio books…*gasp*. Who knew?! I am old school, beloveds. I needs me a book in my hands. I told myself I ain’t got no time for no audio book. One day, as I was feeling pitiful and couldn’t sleep, I decided to try the audio books my big bro was forever and a day tryna get me to listen to.

To my delight, I have found them to be delightful! I turned off the lights, turned up the fan and let the reader do ALL the heavy lifting for me. Fantastic!!!

I have soooooooooooooooooooo been enjoying trying new things. I wonder what I shall learn today? I plan on spending another day learning something ridiculous/serious/inspiring/daring/boring/fascinating.

Ah, life. You sho nuff are worth living.

living and trying new things,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Try something new. Learn about someone else’s culture. This life doesn’t have to be about is ALL the time does it, beloveds? In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

God won’t move until YOU move.

I was sad.

I was pitiful.

I was sad AND pitiful.

Normally, I would have crawled up onto The Father’s Lap and told Him about all my trouble. Lately, I have not done so. Why? I don’t know. Ever since the tornado, I have been a bit frustrated with my lack of snap back.

I thought I would be able to jump up and get back after it. Right away. I thought, foolishly, I could ‘pull myself up by the bootstraps’ and keep it moving. I found moving went on ahead and moved on without me.

I couldn’t rah rah my way out of my mad. I could not encourage my way out of my sad. I could NOT, hard as I tried, root my way out of my what in the holy world fresh hell is THIS/THAT feeling that will NOT go away.

I tried to fake it til I made it. Have not made it. Still.

I tried to forgetaboutit. I could not forget.

I tried to eat my way out. I stayed there.

I tried to sleep it all away. It was there when I woke up.

Fresh hell.

Finally, I moved.

I climbed upon The Father’s Lap. He held my hand. He comforted me. He laughed with me. He let me cry. He let me be me. ALL of me. Some of me was NOT pretty. I was mad. I am mad. Still. Mad at a stupid tornado that has torn the fresh hell out of me and my life. Crap! Heckamiah!!

Yesterday, I couldn’t do the day. I let myself rest.

Today, I told lazy to get up and get after it. Move it!

I moved.

I move still.

keeping it moving,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life can be soooooooooooooooooo exhausting. Enough so that moving is the last thing we want to do. Keep it moving, beloveds. We got thangs to do. Get to doing them thangs….lol.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

God trolled me.

Me: That’s cold.

God: 🤣🤗

Me: That is super cold.

God: I TOLD you.

Me: Didn’t anybody ever tell You it’s NOT nice to say I told you so?

God: Well, did I or did I not tell you?🤣

Me: Well yea.

God: So? Get it?!🤣. I said ‘so’. Add an ‘I told you and what do you get, beloved?

Me: I told you so?

God: Yea. 🤗🤣🥰. You must admit, beloved. I WAS right, right? I WAS right there, WITH you, as you walked these tough miles you INSISTED you could not do. Nope, nary a step, I recall you saying to me. Amirite?

Me: (trying not to smile)…okay, you were right.

God: I told you so! 🤗😆🍋🥰

Me: 🍋🍋🍋😆🤗🤣🥰

God: Keep going, beloved. I AM with you. I promised. I promise still. Do me a solid and make us a nice glass of 🍋 lemonade. Asking for A Friend.

Me: Real funny, ABBA. One has jokes I see.

God: I SEE you. I SEE your tears. They are precious in My Sight. As are you. I only tease those I love.

Me: You sure must love me an awful lot then!…*stamps foot*. You make it awfully difficult staying mad.

*Cassandra gathered up the last of her tears. She decided to add them with the 🍋 and see what they would make*

making lemonade still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When life hands you 🍋 lemons, beloveds, start hurling some at fear and anxiety and stress and inflation and bills and all that is getting in your way and keep it moving.

The way is hard. So what? We got thangs to do. Get to doing those thangs. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Asking for A Friend…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I told God I was NOT making any more lemonade.🤯

I have to laugh.

I had a mini mad with God.

AND The Universe.

AND Life.

Told Them I was NOT making any more 🍋 lemonade from these damned lemons They keep passing my way or allowing the damned fruit stand of life to send me!

Ack!

Drat it all!

*stomps foot*.

I called my twin.

Screamed and hollered.

Hollered and screamed.

Told sis I was only allotting myself two minutes of carrying on time. Life is too short to be wasting with anger that is not going to fix things or chang things.

*two minutes of hollering and screaming *

Please note, I kept the neighbors in mind so tastefully acted a fool in a quiet manner.

PSA: It’s incredibly difficult to carry on tastefully in a quiet manner when you are normally loud like me. Fresh hell.😆🥰

N-E-Waze, beloveds, I just stopped by to encourage anyone who is in the same enough already boat as me.

Be encouraged.

Be angry, if need be.

Be sad, if need be.

Be joyful, always.

Be hopeful, always.

Things are NOT as we feel. Feelings come and they go. Do NOT allow yourself to be steered to dark and non helpful places when your feels want to be extra feely.

Thing really WILL be okay. I promise.

In the meantime, I am:

Rooting for you.

Praying for you.

Hoping for you.

Loving you.

Keep going. You have so much ahead of you. Find something in your day to smile and laugh about.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I think God is neat. I let Him have it. Told Him I was FINALLY letting myself be mad at Him. Only lasted for a few minutes. He understood. Kinda hard to stay mad at Someone who loves this dope so much.🤣🥰

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep wading through the nos.

Today was frustrating.

I got another 50 million nos out of the way.

*sigh*

Be encouraged, beloveds. Keep going.

Yes is on the way.

I hope.

believing I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Spent an incredibly discouraging morning getting either told no or ghosted. I had a bit of a cry. Just a small one. I told God I am done for the day.

Keep looking up. Things are NOT how you feel…lol.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: The different parts of me.

I am a woman.

I am a black woman.

I am an old woman.

I am a determined woman.

I am a writing woman.

I am a frightened woman.

I am a lonely woman.

I am a blessed woman.

I am an inspired woman.

I am a frustrated woman.

I am a joyful woman.

I am a hopeful woman.

I am a dopey woman.

I am a hapless woman.

I am a passionate woman.

I am a Jesus loving woman.

I am a playful woman.

I am these things and a million other things. Ah, God. I have NO idea what to DO with all of these parts of me now. They are spilling everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

Everything that could possibly be shaken, in my life, has been. Shaken. Stirred. Fried. Geeeeez.

Since the tornado, I keep asking myself what/who I was BEFORE it? I can’t remember.

The woman, the person, the frightened kitten called me is running around like a child:

Hollering.

Screaming.

Carrying on.

Showing out.

Loudly.

To my surprise, God has been thhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee most silent. I wonder why.

Fresh heckamiah Jeremiah what the world going on round here hell???!!!!

The more quiet God is, the louder my heart wants to protest. I tell it to shut it. It won’t. I ask God to speak. He doesn’t.

Fresh hell!

In the midst of this terrible nightmare/hard, I find my heart content. Still. Yes, I have been terribly frightened and alone feeling. Yet and still, STILL, I hope.

Fresh hell!

Ah, beloveds, I wanted hope to leave me be. Let me alone!!

You see, it’s easier not to care. It’s easier not to hope. It’s easier not to reach out. It’s easier not to love.

Why? Because, when the world stays silent, you can convince yourself you didn’t care anyway.

I do care. It does hurt. A lot.

Fresh hell.

Even in hurting, beloveds, my heart is sooooooooooooooooooooo full of love, joy and hope. I can’t explain. I would not have believed it had you told me so.

I can’t say I am grateful for the tornado. I AM thankful, however. I have met parts of me I probably never would have minus it. Okay, God! I am NOT asking for another to be sent! Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Cut a sista some slack…lol.

I truly am living out the scriptures. I am content in THIS state. I continue to look up from whence cometh my help. I continue to experience, to KNOW that God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power, of love and of a SOUND mind.

I continue to dance with it is what it is. I keep checking reality. I keep it moving. I keep going even when I stop to rest. Ah, God. Life is good. Even when it’s hard.

I am ALLOWING myself to BE. ALL the different parts of me. Even the ones I thought no one would accept or receive. Especially those parts….hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Before, I used to hide those parts. No more. I love me. ALL of me. Even the parts that need cleaning, polishing and reshaping. I love me in ALL my stages.

When life shakes you ten ways to Sunday, beloveds, don’t be afraid to be all the different parts of you. The world needs ALL of you. The parts you guard the most are the ones we need the most.

Don’t be afraid to be you. Everyone is not meant to experience and enjoy you. The ones meant for you SHALL find you! As for the rest, wish them well and keep it moving.

Do NOT judge you from the yardstick of another!

Embrace who you are.

Enjoy your uniqueness.

Continue to be about being about it.

YOUR way.

Using YOUR voice.

However loud or quiet you choose to be!

being about it with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am in the midst of a good chair dance…..yyyyaaaaaaaaassssssssssss! Why? Because, reality showed up and I showed out on reality! Get gone, fear! I got thangs to do.

Be encouraged. I say this about every day. Why? Cuz you need to be encouraged. On the daily. Else, reality will come and scare the bejeez outta you. Be encouraged. I love me some you. As does He. Love me back. Asking for a friend(me)…lol

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

There is always time.

There is always time.

To do what’s right.

There is always time.

To stand on faith, not fear.

There is always time.

Believe.

There is always time.

Love.

There is always time.

Try.

There is always time.

Do.

There is always time.

Be.

There is always time.

Care.

There is always time.

Dream.

There is always time.

Hope.

There is always time.

Strive.

There is always time.

Fight.

There is always time.

Do NOT allow fear/doubt/circumstances trick you into the foolish lie that you are running out of time. You’re not. There is ALWAYS time to do what’s right.

taking the time,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t let lies lie to you and tell you there is not enough time. You have plenty of time to do what you need to do. That is, if you get off your hind end and get to doing. Let’s go. We got thangs to do!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

God said no.

Me: Move.

God: No.

Me: Let me go.

God: No.

Me: Let me quit.

God: No.

Me: Leave me be.

God: No.

Me: Let me stop chasing my dreams.

God: No.

Me: Stop wasting Your Time on me.

God: No.

Me: Walk away from this disappointment called me.

God: No.

Me: At least, chastise me for wasting Your Time.

God: No.

Me: At least, call me out for being too afraid to do something years ago.

God: No.

Me: Forgot about all the dumb hopes and dreams I shared with You.

God: No.

Me: Allow me to slip away and lead a life of quiet desperation.

God: No.

Me: Fresh hell.

God: No. Everything will be okay. Will you trust Me?

Me: K.

trusting even when it’s hard to believe,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The bible says that NOTHING shall separate us from the love of God. There is NOTHING that befalls us that will keep Him from caring.

I know. I know. Many folk are angry and wondering HOW can a loving God ALLOW tough/hard/horrible things to happen to us. Believe me, beloveds, I have had, and have still, arguments on WHY/HOW IN THE FRESH HELL some things continue to happen.

Life happens. Simple as that. It is what it is happens. Simple as that. We SHALL overcome these things, beloveds.

Until then, never, ever, never, no way, no how, allow yourself to give in to despair. Despair is such an easy thing to give in to. It seems like a way out: Just stop caring, despair says. Nope. Nada. Not here!

Be encouraged. In the meantime, do something for you. Don’t forget to get in some me time. I am currently enjoying some coffee and uplifting tunes. I had put down both whilst being dumb enough to listen to despair for a few days. Ah, God. Life won’t stop being so blasted lifery!

In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. Love someone. Starting with you. Keep on looking up, okay? Asking for Your Friend…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keeping it real: Keep fighting.

I have wanted to give up this week.

Many times.

I kept fighting.

I have wanted to give up many, many times while the lights were out.

I have wanted to stop praying/hoping/trying to make my dreams come true after DECADES of praying/hoping/trying.

Many times.

I kept fighting.

I placed a delivery order to replace some of the food I had to throw away.

My delivery order arrived. Minus most of the food!!!!

Frustratingly, maddeningly, annoyingly, I called the store to have a new driver delivery what the original driver had failed to deliver. Geeeeeeeeeeezzzzz!

I was frustrated. I had paid for my food! I had thrown away my other food! I received promise, after promise, after promise my food would be delivered THAT day.

It wasn’t.

I was told my order would arrive at 7 am, the NEXT DAY! Fresh hell!!!

Next day:

Nothing at 7.

Nothing at 8.

Nothing at 9.

Nothing at 10.

Nothing at 11.

I called back and talked to more people. More apologies. More promises. No food.

Nothing at 12.

Nothing at 1.

By now, getting my food was like a metaphor of my delayed/denied dreams: Doing all that I know only to be thwarted by those who could who chose not to.

I called back. Apologies were given. As it turns out, the store was having trouble trying to find a driver to deliver my order. They asked did I want to wait while they tried again. And, again. And, again.

Finally……FINALLY(!), my order was delivered.

Whew.

By that time, though, I was too darned angry to eat.

I was mad at God because of the damned tornado.

I was mad at the power for going out and ruining ALL my food.

I was mad at the refrigerator for having the nerve to ruin my food.

I was mad at the food for being ruined.

I was mad at me for….hell, beloveds, I had NO idea why I was mad at me. Just was.

Eventually, I laughed. I cried. I fixed supper. I cried some more.

Today, I have laughed. I have cried. I have tried some more.

Today, I look around and see not much but am content.

Why?

Because, I am loved and am NOT alone. This hard is teaching me HOW to fight. For ME. For my dreams.

Why?

Because, I have thangs to do. I have no idea how long I have to do such things. I had best get to being about it, don’tcha think?

being about it,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep fighting, beloveds. Keep trying. It’s not your fault your dreams have not come true yet. Often, we have NOTHING to do with the lack of them coming true. Drivers don’t show. Power goes out. Things we have painstakingly gathered is ruined. Folk walk away. Things are taken away.

No matter what, beloveds. Keep fighting. Your food, er, dreams, SHALL arrive when they are supposed to. In the meantime, keep on being good to you. Asking for Your Friend….

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!