Author: Cassandra S.

God, I’m angry, but I don’t know why.

I’m angry.

I don’t know why.

Every now and then, I take a swipe at Life, at God, at myself, at…*shrug*

Change is tough. Growth can be frustrating and slow. In the meantime can be agonizing.

We want MOVEMENT DAMMIT!!🤯🤕😭😳❤️‍🩹♥️

WE WANT OUR DREAMS NOW DRAT IT ALL!

Just bring HONEST with God has helped. I have apologized to Him ten times already today. I sowwy, God.😳😁🤣🥰

Be encouraged. Where you find yourself KNOW you are never alone. If you need some encouragement, reach out and let folk know.

By the by, I checked the fridge for snacks and see Maggie has eaten the last of the Oreos. How DARE she. Smh. Maggie, I thought me and you wuz people.🤣🥰

Take care of yourselves, beloveds. Your heart is much too important to be ran empty. Refresh. Get refilled. Rest. Get some fresh air.

Above all, beloveds, look beyond your present circumstances. Believe me, living through this tornado has me looking forward to try and see what I can see. Reality wants to tell me all is lost and I  am hopelessly behind.

I am NOT lost. I am in HIS Hands. How much safer can I be?

forever grateful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: We got this…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Tell reality to shut it(up)!

Reality wanted to set in.

Yea, beloveds, Reality wanted to rent space in my mind:

Reality: You sure are in a pickle! Look at this mess! Phew! All this rotten garbage smells awful.

Me: It does.

Reality: Wow, Cassandra. You are down to nothing. No working car battery. Empty bank account. Few friends. WHO is there for you now?

Me: I hear you. Things are not always what they appear to be.

Reality: Where is God? What of Your Homie, Jesus? Where…

Me: Shut the hell up and get to stepping!!😡🥊🫸

Be encouraged, beloveds. I’m trying my best to be. There are soooooooooooo many needs I can do nothing about.

I find I don’t know how to ask for help for ME. I need help. I need encouragement. I could use a friend or two.

I wish I had someone during this time.

I wish…

Ah, beloveds, Reality is wanting to settle in. I’m hot. I’m tired. I feel alone.

The lights are on but still feel as though I am sitting in the darkness.

Someone tell me a story.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This blog is primarily for you, beloveds. Tonight, I wish it could be for me. Ah, God. Where are You, at the moment? I feel soooooooo alone. What do I DO with me now? Asking for a friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: The generator: Whose fault is it really?

Someone managed, somehow, to get a generator.

It wasn’t me.

Shhheeeeeeeuuuuuuooooootttttt!

The sound annoyed me. Ticked me off!

Why?

Because,  I could imagine folk who were being cooled, who had lights and enjoying near normal whilst I was swearing, er, sweating terribly, in the dark.

Fresh hell!!!

I got angry at God. HIS fault I didn’t have one!

Never mind He had been reminding me for months to research options for when lights may go out as it storms so frequently that lights going out are a when and not if.

Yea, beloveds, I was in the middle of a great debate about how God SHOULD have done this, that and the other thing.

God calmly countered He HAD asked ME to do the this, that and the other thing which would have, at the very least, kept me with a charged phone!

My bad, God. I sowwy.

Often, whilst things are still and quiet, God will ask us to do some seemingly strange things which can and does prepare us for bumpy roads ahead. It’s up to us to listen.

Now, I am not angry at my neighbors. I am grateful they have a bit of normal. My normal will never be normal, as it was…*sigh*.

I am using my time to prepare my chicklets for this new normal. Life changes. Life will change us if we let it. I plan on the change being permanently optimistic.

I am going to keep on living as best as I can.

I am going to keep on loving folk.

I AM GOING TO LOOK INTO GENERATOR OPTIONS!🤣🥲🤣

grateful/thankful for life,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t beat yourself if you find yourself unprepared. Do what you can, now. Move forward, now. No need lamenting about what you didn’t do. Do. Now. Love someone. Starting with you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: God, why am I still here?

Me: Why am I here? STILL?!

God: Why on earth would you ask?

Me: Why!? What USE am I? What GOOD am I doing? I am:

Old.

Fat.

Alone.

55!!

Broke.

Broken.

😥😥

God: You are many things to Me and others. You are:

Loved.

Seen.

Cherished.

Heard.

Valued.

Know yet not, beloveds, your value has nothing to do with your production or lack thereof, in YOUR eyes. My Eyes see you much differently.

Me: How so?

God: Great question! Keep asking. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack. Know that I love you and am right here with you, in this present darkness. Tell me another story.

Me: K. Once upon a time…

wondering what to do with me now,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When sudden change comes upon suddenly, beloveds, hold on. Be encouraged. The world has turned upside down for me. Thanos has snapped his fingers. Ah, beloveds, the avengers SHALL show up for us. He promised. I believe God. Nuff said. In case no one has told you today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: No reason to stop.


No reason to stop.

No storm shall stop me from pursuing my dreams.

No reason.

No!

I shall:

Press forward.

Press on.

Press through.

In the dark.

In the light.

In the rain.

I have thangs to do!

doing thangs,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going, beloveds. We got thangs to do. Be encouraged. Though your steps falter, though your heart quivers, though your shoulders slump, lift up your head!

We CAN.

We WILL!

When this battery dies, I shall write, STILL, in my ♥ heart. I shall continue to endeavor to ever pen words of encouragement and love. Ah, beloveds, be encouraged. I love me some you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 3: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Fear: Aren’t you afraid?

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Doubt: Don’t you Doubt things will work out?

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Anger: Don’t you want to tell God to kick rocks for not protecting you?

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Fatigue: Don’t you want to give up on this dream fulfillment foolishness already?!

Me: Afraid not, I’m afraid.

Fear/Doubt/Anger/Fatigue: Well, why in the hell not??!!😠😡🤯😱

Me: Because, God has NOT given me a spirit of fear but of love and of a sound mind. More than enough for me. Anymore stupid/unnecessary questions?

🎤 drop.

Nuff said,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Tell fear and the like to take two seats and kick rocks. Stand on your faith. You can do this…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 2: Chicken strips and fries saved my life.

God: Make some chicken strips and fries.

Me: Now?! It’s after 1 in the morning!😴

God: Go make them anyway.

Me: K.

I was tired, beloveds. Super sleepy. For some reason, my spirit just would NOT let me go to sleep.

It was on me to go make some chicken strips.

I made chicken strips. The moment they were done the tornado 🚨 sirens lost their minds.

A bit after that…🌪 🌪 🌪…

They have estimated three 🌪 hit. 300 plus lines are down.

I am using this time to rest and reflect. Here is the latest text I sent out to fam/friends:

ALL I have thought about is checking on folk.

Life is short. Please, please, please think it nit strange all that is going on in your life right now.

LISTEN to the ridiculous and small things God asks you to do that may turn out to be life savers. I am enjoying my chicken strips and fries! In the dark. With God. With you.

Life is good. Even when it’s hard. Will send this the next time I turn on my texting phone.

You know, beloveds, it’s really interesting what we find essential when having to ration battery time. Ah, another post topic!😆

living life anyway,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: What a week I am having. 🚨🌪😳❤️‍🩹😥🔥🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😱🤯🙏🙏❗️❗️😳🥺🤣😆😴🥰🥰

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Day 2: Am in my ‘so what?!’ phase.

Me: It’s 🔥 hot!

Me: So what?!

Me: I have no one to talk to.

Me: So what?!

Me: The phone is almost dead.

Me: So what?!

Me: NO one loves me. I am all alone. It’s hot dammit.


Me: So what?!

Me: I’m tired of being in the dark.

Me: So what?!

Me: It may take a week or more to get power.

Me: So what?!

Me: I’m missing the playoffs.

Me: So what?! Okay, so that IS kinda messed up.😭

Me:🥰🤣

Life is short, beloveds. When hare tosses you some super hard things, say ‘so what?!’ and keep it moving as best you can.

asking for A Friend,


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going. Everything will be alright.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Heart check Thursday.

It’s me.

Doing another heart check.

You don’t get enough heart checks, beloveds, in my opinion.

In truth, none of us do.

There used to be a time folk asked how we were feeling and actually cared about how we were feeling!

Now, folk don’t even waste the time asking how folk are feeling.

Speaking of…

How is YOUR heart, beloved?

You doin’ okay?

Has someone looked out for you today?

If not, tada! It’s me…lol.

Be encouraged.

I LOVE saying those two words…be encouraged. There is something awfully encouraging, to me, with those words. I don’t know why. Just always have been encouraged seeing those two words together.

I have been praying for you. ALL day. I keep asking for God to fill your heart with such love you can’t help but share the leftovers with all you come in contact with!

Ah, beloveds, be encouraged. Things will be okay. I sure miss hearing my mom telling me that everything will be alright. I could use those words now. I give them to you:

Everything WILL be alright.

In the meantime, you had best believe that you are loved and not alone. Keep being good to yourself. Get some exercise. Get plenty of rest. Get some fresh air.

I hear a cup of coffee hollering for me. Who wants to join me for a cup? Bring some cookies with you.

Asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

You are all you need.

I’m working on a piece called ’30 years in the making’.

It has taken me 50 years to understand there is NOTHING I need to fulfill the dreams I have carried around all these years.

I wish my hard head had listened decades ago. Fear kept me silent. Fear kept me caged. Fear kept me from doing all the dumb things my heart has been longing to do for 30 plus years.

Yep, beloveds, I STILL want to do the same foolish, ridiculous, who in the world will care or believe this type of foolishness.

I STILL want to wake up, EVERY DAY, and let folks know they are loved and not alone.

I STILL want to spend my days praying for folk and daydreaming about sitting on the beach and yakking endlessly, with God, about the wonders of the sea.

I STILL want to create motivational videos and audio pieces in weird ways wondering who on earth will give two flying figs about what this old lady has to say!

I STILL want to wake up early, drink coffee with mom, write, write, write, write, until my fingers are tired. Rinse. Repeat.

STILL.

Now, I do those things. As much as I can. Free from fear. Now, I do those things and wonder if I shall be able to do them on a beach, yakking endlessly with God about the wonders of the sea. Ah, God. I hope!

Unti then, I write. I write. I write. And, I write.

Until then, I encourage. I love. I love. I love. And, I love.

Until then,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are all you need, beloveds, to fulfill all that is within you. You don’t have to have a mansion. You don’t have to have a bajillion million followers. You don’t have to have a million dollars. Just do you. Be you. The rest will come out in the wash.

I have NO idea if I will/shall ever walk out my dreams in real times. I hope. In the meantime, I am living my dreams. Right now. Writing. Encouraging. Loving. Ah, beloveds, enjoy your space and time. We get one shot at this thing. Make it a great one. In case no one has told you yet today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!