Just write.

The mandate God gave me when I was just a wee one.

Just write. Encourage others. Be encouraged yourself.

I did that. For years. For decades. I was happy. I didn’t have much in the way of money. I didn’t care. I wrote. I encouraged folk. I encouraged me. I enjoyed my relationship with God.

I did so. Happily. For 40 years. After that, beloveds, I allowed hard to become too hard. Okay, real talk…*sigh*.

About that time, God prodded me to move on to writing in order to make a financial way and life for myself. I was afraid to. I dressed it up behind not being ready financially. I told myself I would do so when I was stable/able/had a platform.

I made up a million reasons/excuses/situations/circumstances. Oh, I didn’t do so out in the open, beloveds. I was much more discreet. I made sure to wrap things up in piety and humility so folks wouldn’t know, so I wouldn’t know I was just terrified to try and fail.

In doing so, I locked myself into a prison of comfort/sameness/you had best not move/goodness and gravy you could lose everything frame of mind and kept my head down.

I helped others reach their goals. I worked to help work achieve theirs. I killed myself in order that others didn’t have to. I enjoyed doing so.

Still, I had the longing to try things MY way. I wanted to write weird things. I wanted to say ridiculous things. I wanted to make a living encouraging the entire world. That desire never left. I buried it. I crammed it in drawers when it got to noisy.

I turned up the noise in my life when that desire became too loud to ignore.

THAT desire, though, got so blasted hard to ignore and carry around, in my heart. I begged God to take the dream from me. I besought The Universe to leave me alone and bug someone else. I bartered with Life to allow me to just hide among mundane things. None listened.

My heart refused to be silent. One day, about a year before the tornado hit, the horrifying thought that what I truly wanted to do I could NOT afford to, financially, truly set in.

I felt trapped at work. I enjoyed my work but it wasn’t MY work. I was miserable, then, doing anything other than what my heart had truly wanted to do.

The tornado came and upset my apple cart. I had to begin again. I had to ask myself if I was going to return to that awful, awful, awfully discouraging activity of working for a job I should have left years ago. Yes, it paid the bills. Still, it had been time for me to find something else so I could begin to build on my dreams.

I hesitated because other jobs paid far, far less than what I made. Yes, I could have made it while earning less but moving towards MY writing future. I was scared to bet on me. I was scared to take the chance. The tornado took that option out of my hands.

I decided to bet on me. To do so until there is no more me. How will I make it? I have not the foggiest idea. I can say I have been having a blast fighting through all the fear, all the hard, all the discomfort, all the not knowing. It has been maddening. It has also been a hoot.

Why? Because, I am walking towards MY future. I may fail. I have failed a billion times, already. I am failing forward. I am working towards something just for ME. Ah, God. How exhausting. How entertaining. How exasperating.

Still, I have gotten back to just writing. Just write, God said to me.

I will.

I do.

I am.

writing just cuz He said to,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It feels good living a life free from fear. I’m not worrying about how the bills are going to be paid. The only thing I’m worried about is whether I’m going to put French vanilla Creamer in my coffee!

Fear not. Things will workout. Don’t spend your night afraid that you’re going to lose. You are going to lose at times. You’re going to win at times. You would lose some things, you would gain some things. Life is going to life. Make the best of things. Enjoy the journey along the way.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥
• TUESDAY 🌎
• 🔑🌎😭💔🤯🥰
• I. AM.STILL.ME!

Sometimes, a good chuckle is needed to get through the day.

I just stopped by to offer a smile, a shoulder, a hug and a heaping helping of love and care.

A while back, beloveds, I came across a video where someone was being skeptical about folk actually loving and caring for others. He didn’t believe there were folks who genuinely love and care for no other reason than to love and to care. How sad.

I think about that man, from time to time. I wonder what caused his life to be so bitter. Yes, there are countless souls who choose to spend their days climbing over others in search of the bag and apparent prestige.

I choose to spend my days extending my heart, my shoulder, my care. I can’t do one whit about those who choose to act and live in a reckless and non caring manner. I pray for them. I pray for them all. Okay, mini rant over.

I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I no longer question God as to WHY in the world He has chosen ME to encourage the world EVERY day. He did. I do. I love it. I love me. I love Him. I love you. I love a world in which there are many who hate me just because I was born in the apparently wrong body. No matter.

Take care of your beautiful heart, beloveds. I love you. More than you know. Love me back. Someone yak at me in the comments. It lifts my spirits just at the right time.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥
• TUESDAY 🌎
• 🔑🌎😭💔🤯🥰
• I. AM.STILL.ME!

I was thinking, recently, about the time, many moons ago, when ALL I had to live on was one HUGE can of instant Folger’s coffee.

I had no money. I had just enough gas to get back to work and back. I had just enough money to pay the rent, keep the lights on and pay the water bill. That’s it. There had been nothing left over for non-essential items like food. Ha! Who needed food?

Still, that time was some of the most precious/joyous/memorable times of my life. It was back in the early 90’s when God began to bug me about REALLY writing. He told me to call myself “The Storyteller” I argued with Him. I may have written a piece about that. I have written a story about it. I am going to have to dig out my stories and share them. Ah, those days.

Anywho, I had gotten to the portion of my life where I had no funds. I had a job. A job that didn’t pay much. I was the Breakfast Coordinator at a Residence Inn. I loved that job!

I was in charge of getting breakfast ready. I came in, super early. There was a small kitchen. I had free reign at the breakfast/lunch menu. I cooked. I kept the coffee going. I kept the four table clear. I yakked with the guests.

I daydreamed about what it would be like to be able to travel all over, to be able to live MY dreams as I fed folks as they went about their ‘important’ lives.

MY life, however, just didn’t feel important. All I did, or so I told myself, was serve others as THEY got to live ‘important’ lives.

At the end of the day, I would wipe down the tables, for the last time, then make my way home to a small place with nothing in it but one HUGE can of Folgers coffee.

I wasn’t sad about it. I wasn’t mad about it. I didn’t fuss at God about it. All I di d was make my coffee, write and hang out with God. I didn’t lament about not having ‘enough’.

For me, beloveds, that cup of coffee, that quiet time of writing and yakking with God. That time of going to work early, serving folk, was a joyous time. It also helped as I was able to eat at work. So, I at least had breakfast and lunch. I was on my own for supper and my days off.

Do you want to know something, beloveds? I did NOT feel poor. I did NOT feel lacking. Not at all. I just understood that the pennies didn’t stretch far enough.

Eventually, I made a bit more money. I moved on to a higher paying job. A more stressful job. I didn’t have as much time for quiet, for writing, for coffee. I began to miss that foodless time….lol.

Life is all about perspective. I am learning that every day. I am glad to be reminded of that time. Thinking about THAT time, got me to wondering where on earth THAT me was? The ME that enjoyed a cup of coffee with not much, but with more than enough?

Here I was, safe, free, half healthy, able to enjoy coffee whenever I wanted and had been a heaping ball of fear of the future.

It feels good to getting back to being ME. I am enjoying my coffee NOW. I am being thankful for what I currently have now. Yes, I am praying for finances. Yes, I am asking for next steps when it comes to my career and future.

In the meantime, I am enjoying simply being. Simple as that. Ah, God. Life is worth living. Even the hard days. Especially those. Hard helps brings us back to us!

Be encouraged, beloveds. Take stock. Put things into perspective. Lack does NOT mean you are lacking. Some things we lack we truly do not need. Yet, or maybe never.

Take care of yourself.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is something, eh? It’s all in how we look at it.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥
• TUESDAY 🌎
• 🔑🌎😭💔🤯🥰
• I. AM.STILL.ME!