Category: faith

Egads, I don’t know how.

Egads!

Yikes!

Geezzz!

I have stumbled on a frustratingly frustrating truth…

I don’t know how!

😳

I don’t know HOW to:

Rest. For me.

Dream. For me.

Hope. For me.

Not really.

I’m used to ALWAYS going.

For others.

Never for me.

I’ve never been given a turn. Always told to do for others. Work for others. Try for others.

I’m not complaining. I love doing for others. Yet, God has told me to rest. God has asked me what I desire for ME. God wonders what I hope for. For me.

I am trying. To rest. I can’t seem to find it. There seems to be so much to DO. Ack!

How do we get off this hamster wheel, beloveds? How do we stop chasing all the things we have been told to chase all of our lives?

Someone let me know.

I am tired.

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If some pieces seem unfinished….*shrug*. I am unfinished. My heart is straining to say things I don’t yet understand. I am too busy wondering where in the fresh hell all this hard has come from and dammit when in the hell is it moving outta here already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know HOW and am driving myself up ten walls. God, please show me how. Please. Asking for a friend(me).

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I deserve to BE. Here.

I deserve to BE.

Here.

Now.

In THIS space.

In THIS place.

I do NOT have to earn my spot.

My spot was given to me simply by my birth.

I am worthy.

Of love.

To be loved.

I am able.

To love.

To receive love.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made just as the Bible says!

I deserve to be here.

I embrace where I am. Difficult though my am finds itself to be right now.

It feels good to feel.

Ah.

Aha!

alive,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: ❤️‍🩹❤️🥰

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Underneath it all.

Your dreams are still there.

Underneath it all.

Underneath:

The hard.

The long.

The trying.

The trials.

Love is STILL waiting for you.

Beneath it all.

Beneath:

The rejection.

The ghosting.

The dismissals.

Joy still lives within you.

Despite:

The hard.

The fear.

The doubt.

The wondering.

The wandering.

You are covered, beloveds, underneath it all.

Underneath:

God’s Care.

The Universe’ Blessings.

Life’s Bounty.

Be encouraged, beloveds. Things are NOT as they appear. Keep going. You are creating diamonds, in your shoes, as you continue to walk towards and up Joy Mountain. That which you think has been your toughest tests/trials, shall turn out to be your closest friends.

walking still,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Well I know, beloveds, how hard the way has been. Enjoy your day. Try not to focus on the hard. Focus on the incredibly YOU that is being created/fashioned/remade/restored/renewed as you walk your way through the hard! Ah, beloveds, you got this! What’s more, God has got us all. In case no one has told you today: I love you

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Adapting: Going old school.

If nothing else, beloveds, I am learning how to adapt. Fresh heckamiah!

Without the internet, I have missed ALL of my shows!!….stamps foot. The US Open is this week!!!……..Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In desperation, I ordered a stupid antennae so I can see about, at the very least, finding a few digital channels so I can watch the last round or two of the Us Open.

Said antannae came. Have been fighting with the dumb thing for a day and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

The stupid thing will find a few channels, will taunt me I can’t see them and will boot me off the correct Input channel.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, finally, FIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAALLLLLY, beloveds, I figured out that I had to turn off the Hotspot, on my phone, so the channels can register on the BLASTED TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, after a day of agony, I am prepared to watch some golf come Sunday. If I have a Sunday. If the stupid antennae thingie willl even work already!!!

Here is where I would normally insert something incredbily inspiring and insightful about using the tough moments to teach you new things. Or, something equally as true and dumb about using the old to bring back things you enjoy. However, ALL I want to do right now is scream at the stupid non working tv because I do NOT HAVE THE INTERNET BECAUSE TWO DAMMED TORNADOES CAME IN, STOLE ALL MY EXPENSIVE FOOD, RIPPED UP MY FLIPPING YARD, STOMPED THROUGH ALL MY STOMPING GROUNDS AND HAVE LEFT ME WITH NO WORK CHECK BECAUSE I CAN’T WORK BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE STUPID INTERNET AND FOLK ARE OVER CARING ABOUT THIS ISSUE SO I AM ON MY OWN DEALING WITH THE FACT I COULD HAVE DIED IN THE STUPID TORNADOES!!!!

Ehem, scuze me,…coug….oooppps.

Me thinks it is time for a coffee break.

In the meantime, beloveds, it’s okay to have a bit of a flip out whilst your life is being flipped about. I would offer to share a cup of coffee but I wouldn’t blame you for saying no about now.

Be encouraged.

I’m hoping all is well. If not, come over my way and have a scream, er, cup of coffee with me.

here still(I think),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you. Nuff said.


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Pick up the phone.

Sis sent a text.

She wanted to talk.

I did NOT want to talk.

I wanted to hide.

I picked up the phone.

I dialed.

We talked.

We shared.

We loved.

We lamented.

We cared.

Ah, God. Life is hard just now. I don’t want to talk to You, just now. You let that damned tornado tear up my damned yard!

God: Pick up the phone.

Me: K.

picking up the phone,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep picking up the phone, beloveds. We all need each other. Even when the very last thing we want to do is to reach out. Reach out anywho. Asking for A Friend. Asking for ME.


One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Ten steps forward. Fifty steps back.

Ten steps forward.

50 steps back.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Fresh hell!!!!

I’m a bit fed up, beloveds.

With having to be positive.

With having to be about being about it when the LAST thing I want to do is be about it.

Geeeeeeeeeeez.

So, what am I DOING whilst having these feelings?

Being about it, of course.

Shhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuttttt!

It’s a have to now.

I want to quit.

Badly.

Right here.

Right now.

I just want to flop down in this dead spot and say so what and who gives two hoots and leave me alone.

I won’t.

I can’t.

I have thangs to do.

Crapola.

What shall I do instead?

Take out the trash.

Make coffee.

Make chicken strips.

Hmm.

brb,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Keep taking your two steps forward. Not your fault when having to take 50 back…*shrug*. Be encouraged. In case no one has told you today: I love you.

And, if you get a few extra pieces today…*shrug*. It’s either encourage you and me or stay in bed all day lamenting how hard life is. I did that yesterday. Booooooooooooooooooring. Let’s go, beloveds. We got thangs to do.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Sad, why you so mad?

Sad, why you so mad?

Mad, ‘cuz I won’t give in to you.

Mad, cuz I REFUSE to turn my back on me.

Mad, cuz I will NOT give up on my dreams.

Ha!

Don’t be mad, sad.

It’s how God made me.

It’s how hard has helped me to be.

It’s how Life taught me to be.

It’s how The Universe helped shaped me to be:

Joyful.

Hopeful.

Steadfast.

Steady.

Unmoved by all the movement.

Uplifted by all that has been uprooted.

Undaunted by all the daunting things which has befallen me.

Why?

You should know the answer by now:

I am loved.

I am NOT alone.

How then, sad, can I STAY sad, knowing these things?

Don’t be mad, sad.

Get gone. Take your friends with you. I have no need of them. Me and joy has thangs to do. If you are going to hang around, sad, you shall do so in the midst of my song!

doing thangs with joy in the midst of sad,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s okay, beloveds, to be sad. The bible says weeping may endure for the night but that joy comes in the morning. Til then, I shall cry with you. Then, we shall rise and continue doing our thangs, eh? Be encouraged. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Tell fear no.

Fear: Give me your joy.

Me: No.

Fear: Trust me.

Me: No.

Fear: Give up.

Me: No.

Fear: Stop believing.

Me: No.

Fear: Stop asking for your dreams to come true.

Me: No.

Fear: Think of me first, last and always.

Me: No.

Fear: Don’t trust Him.

Me: Shut it!!

Fear: K…

Tell fear no, beloveds. Don’t waste time trying to convince it you are not afraid of it. Tell it to kick rocks and keep it moving. Stand. On FAITH. Standing on fear only makes it stronger and you feel weaker.

You are not.

You are:

Loved.

NOT alone.

Nuff said,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Psalm 27:5 says: Fir in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.

Ah, God, my times are troubled. Help me not to fear this fear that is trying it’s best to best me. I’m afraid, God. Of what may come. Of what has come. Be with me as I try. My try seems terribly insufficient. I need Your Grace. I need You to open the windows of heaven and pour out a financial blessing large enough to drown out all these bills that won’t stop billing. Asking for me and a ton of friends…..

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Reality can kick rocks!

I told Reality to take two seats!

Kick rocks!

Let GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO of my dreams!

I will NOT give up.

Not yet.

Ah, God.

I’m tired.

Ah, Life.

You are hurting soooooooooooooooooo much.

Ah, Universe.

When in the fresh hell shall you work FOR me and get me from underneath Reality’s Laughter.

I stopped my pitiful, beloveds, long enough to remind you that it’s perfectly okay to not be okay until you are okay. Ok?

Right now, I am looking at some gorgeous waterfalls and uplifting and TRUE scriptures to feed my tired and weary soul.

I made myself a cup of coffee so I can have a good yak with mom and let her know how haaarrrrrrrrd life is being right now.

My headphones are pumping out some fantastically hopeful music. Ah, beloveds, hang on in there!

I know. I know. I sound like a broken record. I am boring me with the sameness of these words. Doesn’t make them less true. Just makes me less interesting….hahahahahahahaha.

Ah, beloveds. Be sure to laugh. Don’t allow ANYTHING to steal your joy, take your laughter, make you run away from the awesomeness of your life. Things shall get better. They shall.

The trick is learning how to maintain and rejoice in the meantime.

I HATE IN THE MEANTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT TAKES FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, beloveds. Just wait. Your turn IS coming. Your turn IS here. In the meantime, make some coffee. Read a book. Take a break. Take a breath. Then, get on back in there and live. Rinse. Repeat.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I can’t. I can. I will.

I can’t right the wrong(s) of the world.

I can love the world regardless of how the world responds.

I will.

I can’t change the past or what folk did in the past.

I can do my best to create a better future for the world.

I will.

I can’t.

I can.

I will.

We all make the world a better or worse place.

By our choices.

By our actions.

By our inaction(s).

I feel hopeless sometimes.

I feel helpless at times.

I feel hopeful always.

Yet, I try.

doing what I can,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Feeling awfully hopeless. Feeling quite a bit helpless. Feeling a tad hopeful.

I keep wondering when my change might come. Earlier, I cried knowing there is a chance my change will never come. Not as I imagine it should or shall or should.

I did NOT want to get out of bed. I stayed in bed. ALL day. I did NOT want to get up. I got up. I made me make coffee. I made me make me turn on the laptop. I made me make me turn on some uplifting music.

Finally, I made me make me get on here to tell you:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Ah, beloveds. Keep going. Keep walking. Rest when needed. Rinse. Repeat. Be sure, beloveds to turn up the music. Loud. Dance through this hard. Ah, God, why does life have to be so lifery right now?! Asking for many friends…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!