Other times, my writing is woefully insufficient. To me. I tell myself I can’t ‘splain thangs the way I see them, in my heart. Crapola. Then, I write. Anyway.
I used to be ashamed of my why. Who in the world would want to spend their ENTIRE life encouraging the WORLD? Seems like such a really stupid thing to want to do with a life.
I have tried to do other things. I tried to ignore this why. Why? Because, it’s time consuming. Because it can be lonely. Because it can be exhausting to want to write after a full day of dealing with a world’s worth of…uh, oh…lol.
My why would never shut up. I have learned to go on ahead and do/be my why. I enjoy it. Every day. Even on the days when I am fed up with wanting to do anything.
Do what you do. Don’t be afraid of who you are. Don’t be ashamed of your why. Keep on being you. You are much needed. More than you know.
The World Series have been interesting. Game 1 ended in spectacular fashion.
The winner won. The loser, well lost. And, in losing, they appeared to have lost their nerve.
Game 2? A tough watch. The winner, of Game 1, played loose. They laughed They enjoyed the game.
The loser, of Game 1, played Game 2 as if they had already lost. There was no joy. There was no laughter. There was only the stress of not being the one to make the mistake.
It was tough to watch. I was hoping the losing team would just play. The outcome would be the outcome. Of course, they lost.
This reminds me just to play. I tell myself just to try. I have no idea what my trying will do. In the meantime, I’m just going to have fun. I’m going to make my way in the world the best that I can. I’m going to love as many people as I can. I can live with the outcome.
Life much too short to be worried about the outcome of things. to allow fear to dictate my every move. I told myself I was just being careful. I told myself I was just being prudent. I was lying to myself. I was afraid of the outcome.
I no longer waste my time going about what may happen. I am going to enjoy EVERY moment of the game. Win, lose, or draw. I just want to get in there and just play. I want to meet new folk. I want to cheer on others. I want us all to get in there and play.
Don’t worry about making the last out.
Don’t worry about striking out.
Don’t worry about making the costly error.
Just play. Don’t worry. Enjoy the game. Enjoy your teammates. Enjoy the effort. Then, accept the outcome and move on.
Did your team win? Terrific. Did you lose? It happens. One side WILL lose.
I am learning that losing is not always losing. I have gained so much in the losses, these last few months. I have gained the knowledge that I really CAN. And, that I truly WILL. It will just take time.
And, when I grow fearful of the unknown, I get up and do something. Right now, I am currently doing meal prep and grilling some chicken breasts to go along with the veggies I have waiting. I am using anxt to get chores done!
REFUSE, beloveds, to allow fear to keep you out of the game. Get on in there and play.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Life is what we make it. I am doing my best to live my best life. Right NOW. Right HERE. Here, in my currently jobless, broke situation….hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Anyone can trust/believe with a full belly. This has been a truly gratifying experience to get to see, first hand, that I can walk with joy, peace, hope and love through EVERY situation.
Be encouraged. Remember that your life matters. Keep on being the amazing person you are. I love you. Tell someone you love them. They need to hear it. You need to say it.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.
Beloveds, keep on being the light that you are. Yes, you may lose some things. That said, you will gain so much more than you could ever use.
Tomorrow, I turn the page on another year. 55 years down. 55 to go! I pray that my light shall continue that I can love my brother, my sister.
Be encouraged. Don’t give up on the promise of you, beloveds. Call me foolish. I truly believe in the greatness within us all. Let’s all strive to listen to the better angels speaking to us all to do better and to be better.
I spend my birthday alone tomorrow. Yet, not. I wish…
Take care of that precious heart of yours.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I love you, beloveds. Ah, that I be loved, eh? I hope…
Reality has been encouraging me to give in to the fear.
Doubt has been lying to me about the unknown.
The Universe has been silent/observant.
All the while, I question God. All the while I question myself. All the while, I wonder if I am going to make it. Meanwhile, all is silent. Ack. Ow!
Still, I absolutely REFUSE to allow fear to manifest itself into my day, into my choices, into my heart. I beat it to the sunrise. I arise. I work on me. I am proactive. I am probative. I question my EVERY action to ensure I am walking by FAITH, in LOVE, carrying hope and laughter around with me.
Beloveds, I hate these last months have happened as they have. I hate the tornado ripped through and tore up everything in sight. I hate I am living a new normal. No, hate is NOT the word. Rather, challenging is the word I now choose.
Words are powerful. I am doing my utmost to get the word hate out of my vernacular. Words are so easy to say. We say sooooooooooooooooooo many negative things when it comes to our lives:
“I hate when I do this”.
“I could never do that”.
We have NO idea what we are capable of. Why, then, do we so easily set limitations on our try? I’m trying not to.
November has come calling. I have NO idea where January’s rent is coming from. Ah, God. I hate, er, find this situation challenging…lol.
It has been super interesting living in the MOMENT. Before, I would be flipping out by now. I would be carrying on about how I am going to make it.
I have NO idea how. I just know Who. I just know I will make it. Some kind of way. I shall continue to encourage and love folk, along the way. Some may love me back. Most probably won’t. I’m no longer lamenting those who don’t or won’t.
Life is short. I REFUSE to live anymore if it blanketed and ruled by fear.
My birthday is tomorrow. I am looking forward to what the day might bring. I am looking forward to what the future might mean.
I’m looking…
FORWARD.
UP.
WITHIN.
I got this. God has me. How much more secure could I ever be?
fearing not, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep standing on business. Keep believing in YOU.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.
Of course, these are lies. It’s easy to believe the lie when our mountain looks soooooooooo big and unmovable.
When my mountain seems the most daunting, I reach out to someone to let them know they are loved and not alone.
Then, I DO something. Even if just a small something. Through this constant hard I am learning I can’t afford to lay down on fear or anxiety. The MOMENT I get to feeling anxious is the moment I leap out of bed.
I have been leaping out of bed well before dawn, these days…*shrug*.
If nothing else, beloveds, this hard may be encouraging others to keep on trying. I didn’t want to, today. So what? I got thangs to do. As do you.
My 56th birthday is Sunday. Wow. The majority of my ‘friends’ have long since taken off as I am sure they think I may ask them for money. I haven’t. I wouldn’t. It sure would have been nice to have that emotional support. I am supporting me as much as possible.
I am also leaning on and leaning into the love of my fam. I used to hide my hurt and be there for them. No more.
Anywho, I stopped ’round to give someone some of the support I could use.
If anyone would like to send some birthday cheer, feel free to email me: ttnette37@yahoo.com. I won’t put you on blast and would only reply back once with a thank you unless you would like to be an email pal.😁🥰
Take care of your heart and enjoy your weekend.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I have never felt so helpless in my life. Yet, am content. Odd, eh? I am looking forward to seeing how The Universe is going to help me out of my financial mess…lol
Life is tough for us all, beloveds. Determine to be one who is determined to be the reason that light shines in the darkness.
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: There is so much going on it can be easy to believe our efforts will be in vain. EVERY try matters. EVERY word, spoken in love, matters. EVERY step towards light and life matters.
You can do much more than you think. Love folk. Especially the hard-headed ones. Yep, love even the folk who speak foolishness. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.
Sometimes, I would like to extinguish the flame inside.
Sometimes, I want to run from this desire to be more and to do more. Sometimes, I wish the dreams inside would fade so I can lead an ordinary life and not filled so pulled to extraordinary way.
Sometimes, I wish I did not want more. Sometimes, I wish I did not want at all.
Sometimes, I wish my try wouldn’t try so hard. Sometimes, I wonder why I try at all.
Ah, sometimes, I’d like to walk away. Oh, sometimes, I want to run.
Only sometimes.
wondering what’s next, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I find myself unsettled. I wish I knew how to get back my familiar…sometimes.
I used to be one of them. One of the secret ones. One of the ones who had secretly ceded the ground of their dreams.
Why?
Why not?
I was nothing.
I was no one.
I was no import. At least, that’s what the world told this black, female, loud and worthless hide.
For too many years, beloveds, I fought for everyone but me. Me, I hid. Me, I refused to champion.
Why?
Because I was a nobody, remember?
Yet, something inside me absolutely refused to believe this about me. THIS rose up, in me. THIS became my why: To let folk KNOW they were loved and NOT alone.
That folk are worthy. That folk are worthwhile. That folk are worth it. They are. We are. I am. You are.
Now, I fight. Every day. Every single damned day. I fight for you. I fight for me. I fight for us all.
Dammit, God, fight with me. Send some folk to help me. I can’t reach them all. Can/will you?
asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Do THIS, beloveds. Whatever your THIS is. I would give my last dollar to be able to show a million folk how much they are loved and cared for. My dollars don’t stretch that far. All I can send are my love. Crap. Just doesn’t seemed to be a damned enough! Is it?…😥😡🎤
Be encouraged. I am foolish enough to believe these words will set someone free. I hope. Hope with me…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.
