Me: I’m sorry.
God: It’s okay.
Me: *tearfully*… I tried.
God: It’s okay.
Me: I feel like a failure.
God: It’s okay.
Me: I feel as though I should have been farther, been better off, by now.
God: It’s okay.
Me: I STILL don’t know how or what to do.
God: It’s okay.
Me: I don’t know how to make my dreams come true, in real time!
God: It’s okay.
Me: I am feeling every inch of my 54 years.
God: It’s okay.
Me: It feels as if I am running and standing still, at the same time.
God: It’s okay.
Me: I’m not sure…ah, God, that’s the issue. I am NOT sure. Of ME. Am completely sure of You.
God: It’s okay. Get up, anyway. Keep trying, anyway. Keep hoping, anyway. Keep loving, anyway. Keep believing, anyway.
Me: K π₯
getting up anyway,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
π: It’s okay, beloveds. Life can be soooooooooo, lifery that it can sap the soul of the fiercest warrior. And, that’s okay.
The world is desperate for you to do everything BUT try. The world KNOWS the secret of life is all in your TRY. Once you truly understand this, you won’t concern yourself with your surroundings.
Yes. you will still have needs. Yes, you will still feel disappointed and discouraged when things don’t show up as you imaged. The difference is that you are CONTENT with whatever state you find yourself in.
Now, I sit WITH The Universe and wait for you. Come on now. Life is short. Breathe. Then get going. Folk need what only YOU can provide.
- π« BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. β€οΈβπ©ΉBeloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.πBecause sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.β€οΈβπ©ΉI have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.πͺSo I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.ππͺAnd maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.πBecause honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.β€οΈβπ©ΉI am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.πSo be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of thatβBe honest with you.For me.β€οΈβπ©ΉBecause I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.πͺPull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.πβ€οΈβπ©ΉπͺAsking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on beingβ¦YOU!
- THE CHAIR.
- WEDNESDAY π
- WEDNESDAY π
- MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. πβ€οΈβπ₯
