Today was frustrating.
I got another 50 million nos out of the way.
*sigh*
Be encouraged, beloveds. Keep going.
Yes is on the way.
I hope.
believing I think,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Spent an incredibly discouraging morning getting either told no or ghosted. I had a bit of a cry. Just a small one. I told God I am done for the day.
Keep looking up. Things are NOT how you feel…lol.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
I am a woman.
I am a black woman.
I am an old woman.
I am a determined woman.
I am a writing woman.
I am a frightened woman.
I am a lonely woman.
I am a blessed woman.
I am an inspired woman.
I am a frustrated woman.
I am a joyful woman.
I am a hopeful woman.
I am a dopey woman.
I am a hapless woman.
I am a passionate woman.
I am a Jesus loving woman.
I am a playful woman.
I am these things and a million other things. Ah, God. I have NO idea what to DO with all of these parts of me now. They are spilling everywhere. EVERYWHERE!
Everything that could possibly be shaken, in my life, has been. Shaken. Stirred. Fried. Geeeeez.
Since the tornado, I keep asking myself what/who I was BEFORE it? I can’t remember.
The woman, the person, the frightened kitten called me is running around like a child:
Hollering.
Screaming.
Carrying on.
Showing out.
Loudly.
To my surprise, God has been thhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee most silent. I wonder why.
Fresh heckamiah Jeremiah what the world going on round here hell???!!!!
The more quiet God is, the louder my heart wants to protest. I tell it to shut it. It won’t. I ask God to speak. He doesn’t.
Fresh hell!
In the midst of this terrible nightmare/hard, I find my heart content. Still. Yes, I have been terribly frightened and alone feeling. Yet and still, STILL, I hope.
Fresh hell!
Ah, beloveds, I wanted hope to leave me be. Let me alone!!
You see, it’s easier not to care. It’s easier not to hope. It’s easier not to reach out. It’s easier not to love.
Why? Because, when the world stays silent, you can convince yourself you didn’t care anyway.
I do care. It does hurt. A lot.
Fresh hell.
Even in hurting, beloveds, my heart is sooooooooooooooooooooo full of love, joy and hope. I can’t explain. I would not have believed it had you told me so.
I can’t say I am grateful for the tornado. I AM thankful, however. I have met parts of me I probably never would have minus it. Okay, God! I am NOT asking for another to be sent! Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Cut a sista some slack…lol.
I truly am living out the scriptures. I am content in THIS state. I continue to look up from whence cometh my help. I continue to experience, to KNOW that God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power, of love and of a SOUND mind.
I continue to dance with it is what it is. I keep checking reality. I keep it moving. I keep going even when I stop to rest. Ah, God. Life is good. Even when it’s hard.
I am ALLOWING myself to BE. ALL the different parts of me. Even the ones I thought no one would accept or receive. Especially those parts….hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Before, I used to hide those parts. No more. I love me. ALL of me. Even the parts that need cleaning, polishing and reshaping. I love me in ALL my stages.
When life shakes you ten ways to Sunday, beloveds, don’t be afraid to be all the different parts of you. The world needs ALL of you. The parts you guard the most are the ones we need the most.
Don’t be afraid to be you. Everyone is not meant to experience and enjoy you. The ones meant for you SHALL find you! As for the rest, wish them well and keep it moving.
Do NOT judge you from the yardstick of another!
Embrace who you are.
Enjoy your uniqueness.
Continue to be about being about it.
YOUR way.
Using YOUR voice.
However loud or quiet you choose to be!
being about it with you,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I am in the midst of a good chair dance…..yyyyaaaaaaaaassssssssssss! Why? Because, reality showed up and I showed out on reality! Get gone, fear! I got thangs to do.
Be encouraged. I say this about every day. Why? Cuz you need to be encouraged. On the daily. Else, reality will come and scare the bejeez outta you. Be encouraged. I love me some you. As does He. Love me back. Asking for a friend(me)…lol
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
There is always time.
To do what’s right.
There is always time.
To stand on faith, not fear.
There is always time.
Believe.
There is always time.
Love.
There is always time.
Try.
There is always time.
Do.
There is always time.
Be.
There is always time.
Care.
There is always time.
Dream.
There is always time.
Hope.
There is always time.
Strive.
There is always time.
Fight.
There is always time.
Do NOT allow fear/doubt/circumstances trick you into the foolish lie that you are running out of time. You’re not. There is ALWAYS time to do what’s right.
taking the time,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Don’t let lies lie to you and tell you there is not enough time. You have plenty of time to do what you need to do. That is, if you get off your hind end and get to doing. Let’s go. We got thangs to do!
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Me: Move.
God: No.
Me: Let me go.
God: No.
Me: Let me quit.
God: No.
Me: Leave me be.
God: No.
Me: Let me stop chasing my dreams.
God: No.
Me: Stop wasting Your Time on me.
God: No.
Me: Walk away from this disappointment called me.
God: No.
Me: At least, chastise me for wasting Your Time.
God: No.
Me: At least, call me out for being too afraid to do something years ago.
God: No.
Me: Forgot about all the dumb hopes and dreams I shared with You.
God: No.
Me: Allow me to slip away and lead a life of quiet desperation.
God: No.
Me: Fresh hell.
God: No. Everything will be okay. Will you trust Me?
Me: K.
trusting even when it’s hard to believe,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: The bible says that NOTHING shall separate us from the love of God. There is NOTHING that befalls us that will keep Him from caring.
I know. I know. Many folk are angry and wondering HOW can a loving God ALLOW tough/hard/horrible things to happen to us. Believe me, beloveds, I have had, and have still, arguments on WHY/HOW IN THE FRESH HELL some things continue to happen.
Life happens. Simple as that. It is what it is happens. Simple as that. We SHALL overcome these things, beloveds.
Until then, never, ever, never, no way, no how, allow yourself to give in to despair. Despair is such an easy thing to give in to. It seems like a way out: Just stop caring, despair says. Nope. Nada. Not here!
Be encouraged. In the meantime, do something for you. Don’t forget to get in some me time. I am currently enjoying some coffee and uplifting tunes. I had put down both whilst being dumb enough to listen to despair for a few days. Ah, God. Life won’t stop being so blasted lifery!
In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. Love someone. Starting with you. Keep on looking up, okay? Asking for Your Friend…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
I have wanted to give up this week.
Many times.
I kept fighting.
I have wanted to give up many, many times while the lights were out.
I have wanted to stop praying/hoping/trying to make my dreams come true after DECADES of praying/hoping/trying.
Many times.
I kept fighting.
I placed a delivery order to replace some of the food I had to throw away.
My delivery order arrived. Minus most of the food!!!!
Frustratingly, maddeningly, annoyingly, I called the store to have a new driver delivery what the original driver had failed to deliver. Geeeeeeeeeeezzzzz!
I was frustrated. I had paid for my food! I had thrown away my other food! I received promise, after promise, after promise my food would be delivered THAT day.
It wasn’t.
I was told my order would arrive at 7 am, the NEXT DAY! Fresh hell!!!
Next day:
Nothing at 7.
Nothing at 8.
Nothing at 9.
Nothing at 10.
Nothing at 11.
I called back and talked to more people. More apologies. More promises. No food.
Nothing at 12.
Nothing at 1.
By now, getting my food was like a metaphor of my delayed/denied dreams: Doing all that I know only to be thwarted by those who could who chose not to.
I called back. Apologies were given. As it turns out, the store was having trouble trying to find a driver to deliver my order. They asked did I want to wait while they tried again. And, again. And, again.
Finally……FINALLY(!), my order was delivered.
Whew.
By that time, though, I was too darned angry to eat.
I was mad at God because of the damned tornado.
I was mad at the power for going out and ruining ALL my food.
I was mad at the refrigerator for having the nerve to ruin my food.
I was mad at the food for being ruined.
I was mad at me for….hell, beloveds, I had NO idea why I was mad at me. Just was.
Eventually, I laughed. I cried. I fixed supper. I cried some more.
Today, I have laughed. I have cried. I have tried some more.
Today, I look around and see not much but am content.
Why?
Because, I am loved and am NOT alone. This hard is teaching me HOW to fight. For ME. For my dreams.
Why?
Because, I have thangs to do. I have no idea how long I have to do such things. I had best get to being about it, don’tcha think?
being about it,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep fighting, beloveds. Keep trying. It’s not your fault your dreams have not come true yet. Often, we have NOTHING to do with the lack of them coming true. Drivers don’t show. Power goes out. Things we have painstakingly gathered is ruined. Folk walk away. Things are taken away.
No matter what, beloveds. Keep fighting. Your food, er, dreams, SHALL arrive when they are supposed to. In the meantime, keep on being good to you. Asking for Your Friend….
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
I’m doing something dumb.
For me.
Just ‘cuz.
Why?
Because, I have ALWAYS wanted to.
Why?
Just cuz.
Beats me.
I love sports. And, I mean I love me some sports. Mom gave me HER love of sports. We would hoot and holler over this team or that. I don’t know, beloveds, if this is the main reason why I love sports. I just do.
Anywho, not only do I love watching sports, I love TALKING about them. Endlessly. Exasperatedly. Incessantly. I could talk about sports ALL day. ALL DAY!
In particular, I love me some NFL….*hugs self*. I scour my favorite channels to hear different folks take on this team or that. Here lately, there has not been enough to satisfy my thirst.
Fresh hell!
So, I decided to start me a Sports Podcast…*shrug*.
Why?
Just cuz.
I’m still trying to learn how to make videos and Power Points and this here and that there so this will be a fun and possibly disastrous happenings.
So what?!
Life is short.
I made an audio file I have absoluely NO idea how to transfer, upload, edit or whatever.
HAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Before, beloveds, I would never have started. I would have used my lack of knowledge as a reason and excuse NOT to start.
Ha!
I am beginning.
Now.
Here.
Disastrously.
Ridiculously.
Ah, God. I’m trying. Help a sista out, Wouldja please?
asking for a friend(me),
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: God is good. Instead of chastising me for being so down the last few days, He lifted me up. He set my feet upon a rock. He whispered for me to try. Just try, Cassandra, He asked me. I will.
Get going, beloveds. Life is short. I know I have blown up your inbox with pieces today. Why? Life is short. Just a bit ago a tornado ripped up my world. The day before the tornado, I thought I had plenty of time to do two pieces at a time. After the tornado…whew…my heart keeps saying life is short and encourage as many folk as you can as you just never know what the day may bring.
This is my last weekend before I start work again. I am fixing to get back to my normal two pieces per day and try to get some rest before reality and life slaps me upside the head with work.
I don’t know what me will be returning to work, beloveds. I’m not ready. I can’t afford NOT to start on Tuesday. My funds are dry. Yet, I KNOW I shall be alright. How do I know? Because, He promised me. Ah, God. I appreciate You. For YOU. Not because You can. Just cuz You Are. Ah, beloveds, I appreciate you. Not because you listen to me ramble. But, because you are:
Precious.
Priceless.
Amazing.
Outstanding.
Caring.
Insightful.
Delightful.
Keep being you. Take care of your tender heart. STOP giving you such a hard time. Try something dumb and new. Just because YOU enjoy it. Don’t worry if it will make money. God WILL make the way for you. You don’t have to chase clicks and likes. God likes you. Nuff said. Be encouraged. Remember, I love me some you.
Don’t wait until you know how. You may never start. Take a step. Just one. Which will lead to other steps. Where shall your steps lead you? Beats me. God knows but He ain’t tellin’…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
You know why.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: 🥰
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Reality has set in.
Finally.
Loudly.
Rudely.
Reality set in, causing my dreams to run away faster.
I was tired of chasing my dreams.
So, I decided to sit down, with reality, and has things out over coffee ☕.
Reality: You are 55.
Me: I know.
Reality: NO one appears to be listening to your brand.
Me: I know.
Reality: You STILL have no idea how.
Me: I know.
Reality: Your phone stays silent.
Me: I know.
Reality: Your prayers seems to have gone unnoticed/unanswered.
Me: I know.
Reality: What do you say to all these things.
Me: 📖(God’s Word).
Reality: Nuff said.
waiting patiently,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Hang in there, beloveds. Everything WILL be alright. You got this. He has us. Be encouraged. I love you. As does He.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Quit: Quit.
Me: Ha!
Quit: QUIT!
Me: HA!
Quit: Q..
Me: 🥊!!
Nuff said,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: You are close! Keep going! If you were not close, quit wouldn’t be bugging you so much. Let’s gooooooooooooooooooooo! We got thangs to do!! Drag lazy into the shower with you and let’s gooooooooooooooooooooo! We got this. God has got us all. Going with you…
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
😳
💔
❤️🩹
❤️
The state of my heart this week. Feels like living in a nightmare with no end date.
I told hard, this morning, GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ! What in the FRESH HELL are you DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!?
Hard just told me to kick rocks and keep it moving. Told me to get on Life’s case as hard was just doing as directed by The Universe and God approved EVERY hard task/thing/hit/circumstance/situation.
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ, God. What in the heckemiah Jericho is THIS fiasco called my current state of being!?
God just laughed and told me to keep on collecting diamonds, in my shoes, as I trudge my way up Joy Mountain. He told me to take some extra laughs with me, this week.
Ah, God. K.
Sooooooooooooooooooo, I have decided to spread a bit of foolishnessery, er, joy, your way.
It’s hard to pretend things are NOT hard when nothing works. It’s difficult to make lemonade when the lemons have been sooooooooooooooo bitter. It’s tough dancing in the rain when the rain is pelting, the lightning is frightening and EVERY bush/tree looks as if it is a menacing creature ready to pounce and steal the soul.
No one has told us that you can catch a cold whilst dancing in the euphemistic rain folk are forever talking about dancing in when all of holy hell has rained down upon one’s head.
“It is what it is”.
I have said this dumb sentence a bajillion times. I say it still. Still, it seems to have taken on a life of it’s own.
I can’t work until the internet is fixed appropriately.
“It is what it is”.
I don’t have enough to cover things.
“It is what it is”.
I am alone.
“It is what it is”.
I am lonely.
“It is what it is”.
I miss mom.
“It is what it is”.
I miss dad.
“It is what it is”.
I’m trying not to be afraid.
“It is what it is”.
I’m 55 and sole money maker who is NOT making money.
“It is what it is”.
It’s hot.
“It is what it is”.
I’m tired.
“It is what it is”.
I don’t feel like writing.
“It is what it is”.
I don’t feel like getting out of bed to keep doing this hard every damned hard day dammit!!
“It is what it is”.
Ah, God.
Okay.
I give up.
I quit.
I shall STOP whining and get back to being about being about it.
Fresh hell!
Heckamiah Jeremiah Cream Pie-a!
What do you do when ‘it is what it is’ really is?!😳
asking for a friend(me),
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep going, beloveds. Keep going. Things WILL be okay. They will. In the meantime, it’s okay to not be okay until you are okay. I sure hope you are okay. In case no one has told you today: I love you.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 