Me: Enough already!

55: What’d I do now?

Me: EVERY day, 55, you remind me of all I have not yet done!

55: How in the world did I do that?

Me: By being 55! My God!…55!!!!!!

55: What’s wrong with ME? You enjoyed all the other 5’s up til now.

Me: Hhmm. This is true. They never made me feel…well….oooooooooooollld.

55: Why do I make you feel old?

Me: Ah.

55: Aha!

Me: Couldja send 20s back round so I can redo some things?

55: Life doesn’t work that way.

Me: Well, crap.

55: I feel you.

Me: I don’t know what to DO with you, 55. I don’t know what to do with ME. I’m afraid of all your friends coming behind. I’m afraid they might not come.

55: I see. I have some things I would like to show you. May I? I’m asking for A Friend.

Me: K

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: 55 has been scaring the begeez out of me. She keeps pushing me over cliffs and forcing me to fly. How deliciously terrifyingly fantastic.

Keep going, beloveds. Don’t let your age, whatever your number, scare you into believing all is lost and your days are numbered. They are numbered. You just don’t know how many have been alloted. Best to enjoy each one, eh? Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥

Keep going, beloveds!

You CAN.

You WILL!

If you are reading these words, you HAVE!

I know, the way, has been hard.

Still.

Yet, something, deep inside, is compelling you to:

Keep going.

Keep trying.

Keep hoping.

Keep reaching.

Keep loving.

Keep living.

Go.

Go on, now.

God/Life/Universe ain’t done with you, yet.

Don’t worry, about how long you are taking.

Don’t concern, yourself with the mistakes, mishaps, missteps, along the way.

Don’t bother, being bothered, by the things which seem to so easily beset you and set you back.

This isn’t a pep talk, beloveds. Lift up your head and see how far you have come!

You could have quit, long time ago. Many, already have. Yet, SOMETHING just won’t allow you to give up. Not, just yet.

Everything in you wants to run.

It’s not yet time, to run.

That’s okay.

Your heart is being strengthened.

Your mind is being transformed.

Your spirit is being renewed.

Your soul is being fed.

It shall take ALL of you, to run.

As one.

Together.

Free.

To live, to move, and to have your being.

Be encouraged, beloveds.

You CAN.

You WILL.

You have to. The world needs you. Besides, you owe it to yourself. What in the fresh hell are you waiting for?!

running with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥

Reality has been punching me in the face.

For weeks.

For weeks, I’m telling ya!

Ow!!

So much so I told The Universe to kick rocks!

I’m tired!

Help me or leave me alone already!!!!

*stamps foot*

😳

🥵

🤯

Unfortunately, for me, my try has NO interest in excuses. My try keeps telling me to:

Shut it!

Keep it moving!

So bloody what?!

Kinda hard to argue with try.

My try keeps telling me I WILL.

So, I shall keep trying.

Crap!

*pout*

running anyway,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep going, beloveds. You can do it. You can. If I have to, you do as well.😳😭😂🤣👢🙌🐐🔥

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥

How’s your heart ♥, beloveds?

It’s Friday.

Rest Day.

Time to take some time.

For you.

Repeat after me:

I’m okay.

Then, rest.

Rinse.

Repeat.

What of tomorrow?

How should I know? I’m living my now.

I suggest you do the same.

resting with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: In case no one told you: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥

I think I’m okay.

Now.

Maybe I should say, I think I am okay, now.

There’s a world of difference in the two.

ONLY those who have been, or are going through,  their own version of what in the fresh hell is THIS will know of which I speaketh.

Yikes!

Whew!

What the what the?!!

Hard has been especially hard. And, I mean hhhaaarrrrrrdddddd!🤯😳😳😵‍💫🥵

Shout out to my wombie who has had the unfortunate task of dragging me all up on The Father’s Lap.

Circumstances, or lack thereof, tipped me over reliving when my job was displaced and I only had 60 days to move etc. I didn’t realize it until wombie reminded me I has gone through much worse things then right now.

On top of financial Armageddon and some health what the world, life tossed a hand grenade on a relationship more dear to me than I can describe. I am still tore up about it. Still! Crap!…*stamps foot*

I haven’t been able to work. Which is creating its own brand of financial Armageddon. One in which I am blaming myself now.

I tell myself I should be over grieving now.

I tell myself I should be able to suck it up and work now.

I tell myself I should be able to sleep now.

I tell myself I should be able to be about being about it now.

I tell myself I should be able to 🧗‍♀️ climb this extreme hard now.

Yet, none of those things were true.

I found old foes shame and embarrassment rearing old heads and moving in. They brought terror and lamentation with them.

I was too afraid to tell them to go. I was too embarrassed to climb on The Father’s Lap. I was too ashamed I would see disappointment in His Eyes. There was too much disappointment, in mine, to take the chance.

Shame thought this was extremely funny. Shame told me I should be ashamed of myself because of my fear.

“Weakling!”

“Idiot!”

“God is a li…”

*Cassandra stood over shame, 🤜 all up in shame face, and laughed*

Ha! Don’t you EVER!

It’s okay to doubt ME, I told shame. But, don’t you EVER speak on My Father’s Honor or His Love for ME!

I think I’m okay.

Now.

At least, I have been able to get out of bed.

At least, I can maybe do the day.

Maybe.

At least, I shall try.

Ah.

Aha!

Perhaps it’s all He has been waiting for.

trying today I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I just wanted to shout out to all who are living a life of quiet despair, er, desperation at the moment. This time WILL pass. Until it does, be as good to yourself as you can. Don’t add kicking your own arse to the storm.

Rest as best you can.

Share your heart, your hurt with someone. And, you can’t say you don’t have anyone if you can see these words.

We SHALL get through this. The super hard time I went through, back THEN…well, it’s helping me through my NOW.

THIS time, beloveds, is only building our faith muscles to help us with future what in the fresh hell is THIS. 🥰💯🤣

Yea, I think I’m okay. Now. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥

No way, beloveds!

No way in hell shall we:

Give up.

Quit.

Walk away.

Heck no!

Keep going. I don’t care how long the fight has been.

So what?!

Get up!

We got thangs to do.

Stop giving up on yourself when the fire is especially hot and the way is terribly lonely.

So what?!

Get up!

We got thangs to do!!!

doing thangs with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: The LAST thing I wanted to do today, beloveds, was to encourage me. Let alone you. What did I do?

I got up.

I encouraged me.

I encourage you.

Get up!!!!!!!

We got thangs to do!!!!!!!!!!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

• 📫 BE HONEST WITH THEM. FOR, ME. ❤️‍🩹Beloveds,I have been thinking about honesty.Not the kind we demand from everybody else.The kind that requires us to sit with ourselves long enough to tell the truth about what is happening inside us.👀Because sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself.Sometimes we know something hurts, but we keep calling it fine.Sometimes we know we are tired, but we keep calling ourselves lazy.Sometimes we know we need help, but we keep calling needing help weakness.Sometimes we know something has changed, but we keep trying to live as though nothing did.And sometimes we are so busy trying to make everybody else comfortable with our reality that we stop being honest about our own.❤️‍🩹I have had to learn this in ways I never wanted to learn it.My life changed.My body changed.My speech changed.My independence changed.The amount of effort required to do ordinary things changed.And there have been moments when I wanted so badly to be the Cassandra I remembered that I became impatient with the Cassandra who was actually here.But she deserves honesty too.She deserves tenderness too.She deserves patience too.She deserves to be loved without having to pretend that everything is easy.🪑So I am learning to tell the truth.I can be grateful and tired.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh and still hurt.I can celebrate progress and grieve what changed.I can be strong and need help.I can love people and still need boundaries.I can forgive somebody and still acknowledge what happened.I can believe God is with me without pretending every part of this journey feels good.Those truths do not cancel each other.They can sit in the same room.Sometimes they can even sit in the same chair.👀🪑And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to stop performing too.You do not have to tell everybody everything.Privacy is not dishonesty.Boundaries are not dishonesty.Taking time before you speak is not dishonesty.But beloved, please find somewhere you can tell the truth.Even if the first place is inside your own heart.Say:This hurt me.I miss what was.I am angry.I am afraid.I need help.I don’t know yet.I changed my mind.I need more time.I am proud of myself.I survived something difficult.I am learning.I am healing.I am still here.🔑Because honesty can be a key.A key that unlocks shame.A key that loosens the chain of pretending.A key that lets grief breathe.A key that allows joy to be real instead of performed.A key that makes room for healing.And sometimes the truth is not:”I have figured everything out.”Sometimes the truth is simply:”I am trying.”And beloved?Trying counts.❤️‍🩹I am learning not to require perfection from myself before I offer myself compassion.I am learning not to make recovery another place where I have to perform.I am learning that one difficult day does not erase every good day that came before it.I am learning that needing rest does not erase determination.I am learning that receiving help does not erase independence.And I am learning that being honest about what hurts does not mean I have stopped believing that healing is possible.It means I stopped requiring myself to lie on the way there.👀So be honest with them when honesty is safe.Be honest with the people who love you.Be honest with the people helping you.Be honest about what you need.Be honest about what you cannot do today.Be honest about what you are learning to do again.But before all of that—Be honest with you.For me.❤️‍🩹Because I want you here.Not the polished version.Not the pretending version.Not the version exhausted from convincing everybody that everything is fine.YOU.The learning you.The healing you.The laughing you.The crying you.The figuring-it-out-as-you-go you.There is room for that person here.🪑Pull up a chair.You don’t have to resolve everything before you belong.You don’t have to perform strength before you are loved.You don’t have to have all the answers before your life matters.Your life matters right now.Exactly here.One step.One step.One step.🔑❤️‍🩹🪑Asking for A Friend,Cassandra#YourLifeMattersToMeNote: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU!
• THE CHAIR.
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• WEDNESDAY 🌎
• MOM, WOMBIE, LET’S LOVE THE WORLD TOGETHER. 🌎❤️‍🔥