Beloveds, this for the men out there. Ladies, let’s love our fellow men and transgender/gay men. I love and so does He!💞👋
Cassandra
Shame on ALL wh won’t love his/her/their neighbors. Jesus is sad today. Our men count and WORTHY to be seen, to be loved.I got you brothers…
Have been listening to this 🎵 on repeat. Beautiful. 💔💔🤕
No pretending. I would pay legit money for a hug from someone who loves me. Having a ministry of loving a world that 🌎 won’t love me back hurts. Especially today.
Cassandra
August 14, 2026 💔😭 GOD, WHAT DO I DO WITH MY BROKEN HEART?
For Me—and Everybody Else Who Is Crying
Today 🫂💞 Beloveds, today I need comfort.
Not a lecture. Not somebody telling me how strong I am.
Not somebody rushing me toward the bright side.
Comfort. 🫂💔
Because today… I am devastated. 😭😭😭
And before somebody mistakes my tears for surrender, let me make something very clear:
I AM NOT DISCOURAGED.
I have not quit. I have not stopped believing. I have not decided my life has no purpose.
I have not stopped trusting God.
My heart just hurts. Badly. 💔😢
And maybe somebody reading this needs permission to understand the difference.
You can have hope… and hurt.
You can trust God… and cry.
You can know you’re going to keep going… and wish with everything inside you that you didn’t have to go through this.
You can be grateful for your life… and grieve what has changed in it.
You can say, “God is good.” and then put your face in your hands and sob. 😭🙏🏽 Those things can live in the same heart.
I know because today… they are living in mine. 💔❤️🩹 — 😭
GOD…I MISS ME.
There. I said it. Sometimes grief isn’t only about losing somebody else. Sometimes you grieve yourself. The person you remember. The things you used to do without thinking about them.
The ordinary pieces of life you never imagined you would one day miss.
And some days the difference between then and now hits harder than others.
Today is one of those days for me. 💔🧠😭
My symptoms are really bad today. And sometimes when things are especially difficult, grief comes knocking again.
Not necessarily because I’ve lost hope. Sometimes because I remember. I remember ME.
And there are pieces of that woman I miss so terribly that I don’t have prettier words for it.
I just… miss her. 😭😭😭
And God, if I’m going to walk this road, I need You to help me understand something:
What do I do with all this LOVE I have for the life I remember? What do I do with the memories? What do I do with the frustration? What do I do when my heart screams: “I WANT IT BACK!”
💔😭🙏🏽 — 🫂
MAYBE I DON’T HAVE TO “DO” ANYTHING WITH IT TODAY.
Maybe that is part of the lesson. Maybe every painful emotion doesn’t immediately require an assignment.
Maybe sometimes grief needs permission to simply be grief.
Today I hurt. Period. No explanation required. No apology required. No inspirational ending required.
I can sit before God and say: “Father, Your daughter is hurting today.” 🙏🏽😭 That’s enough.
And if you don’t believe as I do, perhaps your words are simply:
“Today hurts.” That’s enough too. You don’t owe anybody a performance of strength. 🫂💞 —
🙏🏽 GOD, PLEASE SIT WITH ME HERE. I don’t need You only in my victories. I need You here. In this.
In the tears. In the questions. In the memories. In the frustration. In the moments when I am tired of having to be courageous.
In the moments when I don’t want another lesson. In the moments when I don’t want my pain turned into purpose yet.
Sometimes, God… I just want my heart held. 💔🙏🏽🫂
Your Word says: “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart…” — Psalm 34:18 KJV
Then please… come near.
Not tomorrow when I’m feeling inspirational again. Not after I’ve dried my tears. Not after I’ve figured out what I’m supposed to learn. NOW.
Come sit with the crying woman. 😭🙏🏽 — 💔
AND TO SOMEBODY CRYING WITH ME TODAY… Come sit over here. 🫂
You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t even have to talk. I won’t tell you to cheer up. I won’t tell you everything happens for a reason.
I won’t tell you somebody else has it worse. I won’t tell you that you should be grateful because at least you still have ______.
No. Your heartbreak gets to be your heartbreak. 😭💔
Maybe somebody died. Maybe somebody left. Maybe your health changed. Maybe your family changed. Maybe a dream died.
Maybe you received news that knocked the wind out of you.
Maybe you’re grieving a version of yourself you desperately want back. Maybe you don’t even know WHY you’re crying.
You’re just tired. Come anyway. 🫂💞 There is room beside me. — 😭
CRY. Yes. CRY. I mean the ugly one too. The runny-nose, swollen-eyes, can’t-get-the-sentence-out kind. 😭😭😭😩🫠 Cry if you need to.
Because tears aren’t always saying: “I give up.” Sometimes tears are saying: “This mattered.” “I loved deeply.” “I wanted something different.” “I’m disappointed.” “I’m exhausted.” “I miss what was.” “I need somebody to hold me.”
And sometimes… tears don’t say anything at all. They just fall. Let them. 💧💧💧 — ❤️🩹
THEN LOVE THE PERSON WHO IS CRYING.
That person is YOU. This is where the HOW of love matters. We talk so much about loving everybody else.
But what does love look like when the person falling apart is staring back at us in the mirror? Maybe love says:
“You don’t have to accomplish anything impressive today.” Maybe love says: “Rest.” Maybe love says: “Eat something.”
Maybe love says: “Call somebody safe.”
Maybe love says: “Turn the music on.” 🎶
Maybe love says: “Pray.” 🙏🏽
Maybe love says: “Laugh if something ridiculous happens—even while you’re crying.” 😂😭
And maybe love simply whispers: “I am staying with you through this.” ❤️🩹 — 🙏🏽
MY PRAYER FROM A BROKEN HEART:
God, I don’t have a polished prayer today. My heart hurts. You already know why. You know every thought I haven’t found words for. You know what I miss.
You know what I’m afraid to lose. You know what I wish were different. You know the parts of this journey I would NEVER have chosen. 😭🙏🏽
So I’m bringing You exactly what I have. A broken heart. Take it. Hold it.
Please don’t let pain make me bitter. Don’t let grief steal my capacity to love. Don’t let what I have lost make me unable to see what remains.
And when I cannot understand what You are doing… help me trust Your heart. 💔🙏🏽❤️🩹
And Father… if this truly is being asked of me… then You already know what I’m going to say. 😭💪🏽 I CAN.
Not because it is easy. I WILL.
Not because I wanted this. I MUST.
Because there is still purpose inside this beating heart. 🙏🏽❤️🩹
But God… please hold me while I do it. Amen. —
💞 FOR THOSE WHO PRAY DIFFERENTLY—or DON’T PRAY AT ALL…
May you give yourself permission today to be human. May you stop measuring your strength by how rarely you cry.
May you recognize that grief and hope can occupy the same body. May you treat yourself gently while your heart is hurting.
And may somebody remind you: You do not have to solve your whole life today.
Just stay with today. 🫂💞 — 🌱
TODAY’S LOVE CHALLENGE :
Find somebody—including yourself—who needs comfort. And resist the urge to FIX them. Sit. Listen. Hold a hand.
Send a message. Let them cry. Say: “You don’t have to be okay with me.” That’s love too. 💞🫂 — 🏆 TODAY’S VICTORY
Maybe today’s victory isn’t getting back up immediately. Maybe today’s victory is finally admitting: “This broke my heart.” 💔
And discovering that after saying it… your heart is still beating. ❤️🩹 Mine is. It hurts like crazy today. But it’s beating.
And apparently it still has enough life left in it to love somebody else who is crying.
So if you’re crying today… you can borrow some of mine. 💞 I’ll sit with you. You sit with me. We don’t have to pretend. We don’t have to hurry.
And when we’re ready… not when somebody else decides we should be ready… we’ll take another step. 👣 Then another. 👣 And another. 👣 Crying if necessary. Laughing when we can. 😂😭💞
Praying when we have words. 🙏🏽 Sitting quietly when we don’t. 🫂 And believing that a broken heart can still hold an astonishing amount of love.
💔❤️🩹💞 Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! 💔❤️🩹🙏🏽🫂💞
And God? I’m still here. I’m crying. I’m hurting. I’m heartbroken. But I’m still here. If this is being asked of me… I CAN. I WILL. I MUST. Just… hold my hand while I do it. 😭🙏🏽🤝🏽❤️🩹
Beloveds,
Somebody needs this today. I know I did. Be encouraged. You are loved and appreciated and not alone. 💞😍👋💋😊😅
Cassandra
HOW to Get Past the Battle Between Your Pride & Your Integrity
Beloveds,
Okay…we talked about being wrong and actually admitting it.
But let’s get REAL.
Because sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t KNOW we’re wrong.
WE KNOW.
Oh, we KNOW.
You replay the conversation in your head…
You know what you said.
You know what you did.
You know how you handled it.
And somewhere deep down inside, there’s a little voice saying:
“Yeah…you probably shouldn’t have done that.”
And your pride says:
“SHHHHHHHHHH!”
Ohhhhh, the struggle!
Because now you’ve got a battle going on inside:
❤️ Integrity: “Go apologize.”
Pride: “Absolutely NOT.”
❤️ Integrity: “You were wrong.”
Pride: “They were wrong too!”
❤️ Integrity: “That doesn’t change YOUR part.”
Pride: “But they need to apologize first!”
COME ON!
Have you ever been there?!
Because I have.
And let me tell you something:
Knowing you’re wrong and being willing to admit you’re wrong are two different skills.
That’s why we’re learning the HOW.
❤️ HOW DO YOU GET YOURSELF TO ADMIT YOU’RE WRONG?
1️⃣ STOP TRYING TO WIN.
Sometimes we aren’t trying to solve the problem.
We’re trying to win the argument.
And baby…
You can WIN the argument and LOSE the relationship.
You can prove your point…
and still hurt somebody.
You can have facts…
and still lack compassion.
You can be technically correct…
and still handle the situation completely wrong.
So ask yourself:
“Am I trying to make this right—or am I trying to make myself right?”
WHEW.
That’s a question worth sitting with.
2️⃣ OWN YOUR PART WITHOUT WAITING FOR THEM TO OWN THEIRS.
This one is HARD.
Because our pride loves keeping score.
“Well, THEY did this!”
Maybe they did.
But their behavior belongs to them.
Your behavior belongs to YOU.
You don’t have to wait for somebody else to become accountable before you become accountable.
That’s maturity.
❤️
3️⃣ DON’T MAKE YOUR APOLOGY A NEGOTIATION.
An apology isn’t:
“I’ll apologize if you apologize.”
That’s not an apology.
That’s a hostage negotiation.
You apologize because you have something to apologize for.
Whether they apologize back is between them and their conscience.
4️⃣ LEARN TO SAY THESE THREE WORDS:
“I was wrong.”
That’s it.
No dissertation.
No 47-page defense brief.
No historical timeline beginning in 1987.
Just:
“I was wrong.”
And then…
“I’m sorry.”
That’s powerful.
5️⃣ DON’T CONFUSE SHAME WITH ACCOUNTABILITY.
This is important.
Admitting:
“I did something wrong”
does NOT mean:
“I am a horrible person.”
Those are two different things.
Healthy accountability says:
“I made a mistake, and I can learn from it.”
Shame says:
“I made a mistake, therefore I AM the mistake.”
Nope.
We don’t have to destroy ourselves to take responsibility.❤️
We can own it.
Repair it.
Learn from it.
And grow.
AND SOMETIMES…
The apology you need to make isn’t even the hardest part.
The hardest part is changing the behavior afterward.
Because anybody can say:
“I’m sorry.”
But what happens the NEXT time you’re angry?
What happens the NEXT time you feel disrespected?
What happens the NEXT time your pride gets poked?
That’s where we’re going to learn something important:
An apology is not the finish line.
It’s the beginning of accountability.❤️
Because I don’t want us to become people who are really good at saying:
“Sorry.”
I want us to become people who are learning:
HOW to recognize our patterns.
HOW to regulate ourselves.
HOW to communicate when we’re hurt.
HOW to listen without preparing our defense.
HOW to disagree without destroying each other.
HOW to repair what we’ve damaged.
HOW to forgive without pretending nothing happened.
HOW to love people while still holding healthy boundaries.
THAT’S the work.
And we’re going to do it together. ❤️
YOUR HOMEWORK:
The next time you KNOW you were wrong but your pride says:
“Don’t you dare apologize!”
Don’t immediately react.
Stop.
Breathe.
Ask yourself:
“What would integrity ask me to do right now?”
Then listen.
Not to your pride.
Not to your fear.
Not to your need to win.
Listen to what is true.
And if you’re wrong?
Baby…
BE WRONG WELL. ❤️
Admit it.
Apologize.
Make it right where you can.
Change what needs changing.
And keep growing.
Because we’re not chasing perfection over here.
We’re practicing love.
And love isn’t just something we FEEL.
We’re learning the HOW. ❤️
───
❤️ COME WALK THIS PATH WITH ME
If you’re tired of inspirational words that tell you WHAT to do but never teach you HOW to actually do it…
FOLLOW ALONG. ❤️
Because that’s what we’re going to be doing here.
We’re going to talk about the uncomfortable stuff.
The pride.
The fear.
The anger.
The hurt.
The forgiveness.
The boundaries.
The communication.
The mistakes.
The repair.
The REAL LIFE stuff.
And we’re going to learn HOW to love better—not just talk about love better. ❤️
COMING UP: We’re going to talk about HOW to apologize without making excuses…
Because, Lord have mercy…
“I’m sorry, BUT…”
is sometimes where a perfectly good apology goes to DIE.
We’re going there.
And we’re going to learn HOW to listen when somebody tells us we’ve hurt them—without immediately becoming defensive.
Yep.
We’re going there too. ❤️
So…
Follow me.
Come learn with me.
Come laugh with me.
Come grow with me.
And when you realize you’re a knucklehead sometimes…
WELCOME TO THE CLUB. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe ❤️
NOTE: You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
You just have to be willing to be honest, own what belongs to you, learn from your mistakes, and keep growing.
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
🤪 Whew! I Was a Knucklehead! 😂
Beloveds,
Whew.
I DID NOT WANT TO SAY, “I’m sorry.” 😩😂
Nope.
My pride had me sitting there like:
“I KNOW I wasn’t wrong.” 😤
“I’m not apologizing.” 🙅🏽♀️
“They need to understand MY side.” 🤨
“I’m standing on what I said.” 😎
Meanwhile…
I. WAS. WRONG. 🤪🤦🏽♀️😂
And do you know what happened?
I had a choice.
I could hide behind my pride…
OR
I could tell the truth.
Whew! 😮💨
I swallowed that pride.
I admitted I was wrong.
And I said, “I’m sorry.”
😳😩😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
And do you know what?
I SURVIVED IT! 🤣🤣🤣
My crown didn’t fall off. 👑
My dignity didn’t disappear.
I didn’t become less of a person.
And the world did not stop spinning. 🌎😂
As a matter of fact…
I felt FREE.
Because there is something powerful about being able to say:
“I was wrong.”
Not:
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Not:
“Well, if you hadn’t…”
Not:
“I only did it because YOU…”
Not:
“But let me tell you what YOU did!”
😂😂😂😂😂
Nope.
Just:
“I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Period.
❤️ BUT LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW TO ACTUALLY DO THIS.
Because telling people “Just apologize!” isn’t teaching anybody HOW.
And I’m trying to teach HOW. 🎯
1️⃣ STOP.
When you realize you may have been wrong, don’t immediately start building your defense case. 😂⚖️
Your brain might start throwing exhibits at you:
Exhibit A: “But they did this!”
Exhibit B: “They started it!”
Exhibit C: “I had a reason!”
Exhibit D: “They don’t understand me!”
😂😂😂
STOP.
Take a breath.
You don’t have to defend yourself before you’ve even figured out whether you’re right.
2️⃣ ASK YOURSELF THE HARD QUESTION.
“Was I wrong?”
Not:
“Can I explain why I did it?”
Not:
“Can I find something they did wrong too?”
Not:
“Can I make this 50/50?”
Just:
“Was I wrong?”
That’s accountability.
🎯
3️⃣ SEPARATE YOUR INTENTION FROM YOUR IMPACT.
You may not have MEANT to hurt somebody.
But if what you did caused harm, you can acknowledge the harm without declaring yourself a horrible person.
You can say:
“That wasn’t my intention, but I understand that my actions hurt you.”
That’s maturity.
❤️
4️⃣ DON’T ADD A “BUT.”
This little three-letter word has destroyed MANY apologies. 😂😂😂
“I’m sorry, BUT…”
🚨🚨🚨
Here comes the defense attorney! 🤣⚖️
An apology isn’t the place to sneak your excuse through the back door.
You can explain later.
First…
Own what belongs to you.
5️⃣ SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WRONG.
Don’t make the other person drag it out of you.
Instead of:
“Sorry about everything.”
Try:
“I was wrong for what I said. I understand why it hurt you, and I’m sorry.”
Specific accountability is powerful.
6️⃣ DON’T DEMAND IMMEDIATE FORGIVENESS.
You don’t get to decide how quickly someone heals from something you did.
You can apologize sincerely…
and give them room.
❤️
7️⃣ CHANGE THE BEHAVIOR.
This is the BIG one.
Because an apology without changed behavior can become nothing more than a recurring subscription. 😂😂😂
Sorry.
Do it again.
Sorry.
Do it again.
Sorry.
Baby… that’s not growth. 🤣🤪
Real accountability says:
“I apologized, AND I’m going to work on not repeating this.”
That’s where the apology becomes transformation.
🤪 AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE…
Sometimes the hardest person to admit you’re wrong to…
is YOURSELF.
Because pride whispers:
“If you admit you’re wrong, you’re weak.”
NOPE.
Try again.
Admitting you’re wrong takes strength.
It takes humility.
It takes honesty.
It takes courage.
And sometimes…
it takes swallowing a whole lot of pride. 😂😂😂
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Pride wants to protect your image.
Integrity wants to protect your character.
WHEW. 🎯
That’s a word right there.
I’d rather be a person who can say:
“I was wrong.”
than a person who has to be right all the time.
Because being right doesn’t make you loving.
Being right doesn’t automatically make you wise.
And being right certainly doesn’t mean you handled the situation right.
Sometimes…
you can be right about the issue and still be wrong about how you handled it.
👀
Let that marinate.
😂🤪
❤️ SO TODAY’S CHALLENGE:
Think about somebody you owe an apology to.
Maybe you need to say:
“I’m sorry.”
Maybe you need to say:
“I was wrong.”
Maybe you need to say:
“I understand now why that hurt you.”
Or maybe…
you need to apologize to YOURSELF for allowing pride to keep you stuck somewhere you were ready to grow.
Whatever it is…
DO IT.
Not because you’re weak.
Because you’re growing.
Not because you’re surrendering your dignity.
Because you’re choosing integrity.
Not because you’re admitting you’re a terrible person.
Because you’re acknowledging:
“I am human. I make mistakes. And I am willing to take responsibility for mine.”
And if you mess up?
Say it with me:
“WHEW! I WAS A KNUCKLEHEAD!” 🤪🤣🤣🤣
Then fix what you can.
Learn what you need to learn.
Love where you can.
And keep moving.
Because the goal isn’t to become someone who never gets it wrong.
The goal is to become someone who is humble enough to say:
“I got it wrong. Let me make it right.”
Now THAT is strength. ❤️🎯👏🏽
And yes…
I’M CASSANDRA.
And apparently…
I’M ALSO A RECOVERING KNUCKLEHEAD. 🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣
But I’m learning.
And I’m inviting you to learn with me.
Because we’re not here just to encourage one another.
We’re here to learn HOW to love better.
HOW to communicate better.
HOW to take responsibility.
HOW to grow.
HOW to make things right.
One apology.
One lesson.
One changed behavior.
One step at a time. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe ❤️
NOTE: You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
You just have to be willing to be honest about who you are, own what belongs to you, make amends where you can, and keep growing.
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️🤪👑
Beloveds,
WHEW!🤯
YIKES!🥶🥺
I had to apologize.
To God.
To my sister.
To my niece.
To my brothers.
And, if I’m being completely honest…
I had to apologize to myself, too. 🫠🤕🫤 WHEW. This one hurt.
Because sometimes God doesn’t ask us to look at what somebody ELSE did.
He asks us to look in the mirror. 👀 And baby… I HAD TO LOOK. 😳
For the past two years, I fought the people who were trying to help me because I was scared.
I was worried about bills.
I was worried about money.
I was worried about what would happen next.
So I worked. And worked. And WORKED.
I had already been killing myself at work for almost 14 years before my stroke.
Let me be very clear:
I am NOT saying my work caused my stroke.
A stroke may have happened anyway. But I can acknowledge that years of pushing myself beyond my limits, combined with my eating habits and other choices, certainly didn’t help me.
And here’s another thing I need to say:
The devil didn’t cause my stroke. I’m not giving the devil credit for everything that happens in my life.
Sometimes… we have to be honest enough to examine our own choices. And my biggest revelation?
I chose not to trust. 😳
I had been told repeatedly: “Trust God.” “Let God handle it.” “Stop trying to carry everything yourself.” “Let people help you.”
And what did I do? 🙈🙉🙊
I kept fighting. I kept trying to control everything. I kept trying to figure everything out.
I kept letting fear convince me that if I didn’t handle it, everything would fall apart.
And somewhere along the way… fear became louder than faith. And pride started driving the car. 🚗💨
Oh, I KNOW I’m not the only one who’s ever done that!
We say we trust God… until God asks us to do something we DON’T want to do. 😂😭
Then suddenly we’re like: “Okay, God… let’s negotiate.” NOPE. 😂
😂😂
My doctors have advised me that I need to spend some time in a Skilled Nursing Facility so I can become physically stronger, continue therapy in a setting where trained nursing staff can monitor me and quickly respond if something goes wrong, and allow my sister and niece to rest and get their lives back.
And there it was. My OUCH. 🤯😳🥺
Because accepting that help meant admitting: I cannot do everything myself. And that was hard for me.
VERY hard.
Because somehow I had turned my stroke into something that was ALL ABOUT ME.
But my stroke didn’t happen to only me.
It happened to EVERYBODY who loves me.
My sister was tired.
My niece was tired.
My brothers were tired.
My friends were tired.
The people who loved me were carrying pieces of this too.
And then my sister…
And honestly?
She had every right to be angry. I didn’t enjoy hearing it. Ohhhh NOOOO. 😬
But after I absorbed my deserved beatdown… I had to sit with it.
And that’s when God asked me ONE question:
“What were you—and what are you—SO afraid of?” 😳 YIKES.
That question stopped me. Because I had been so busy fighting everybody about what I thought I needed… that I hadn’t stopped to ask myself what was underneath all that fighting.
FEAR.
I sat with it.
I owned it.
And then fam and I had a four-hour conversation.
Four.
Hours.
We put our hearts on the table. ❤️
I’m going to keep the words of that conversation private because some conversations belong between the people who had them.
But I can tell you what I learned.
Sometimes accountability doesn’t feel good. Sometimes accountability feels like getting your whole house of excuses knocked down. 🧱💥
But accountability is NOT punishment. Accountability is an invitation to grow.
And here’s what God has been teaching me:
We do ourselves—and the people who love us—a tremendous disservice when we continually choose fear over faith.
Because fear doesn’t just hurt us.
Fear can make us resistant. Fear can make us stubborn. Fear can make us angry.
Fear can make us push away the very people trying to help us. Fear can make us confuse control with strength.
And pride?
Ohhhh, pride will have you fighting for your right to stay exactly where God is trying to move you from. 😳
Pride says: “I know what I’m doing.”
Faith says: “God, I don’t understand this, but I’ll trust You.”
Pride says: “I can handle it myself.”
Faith says: “I need help.”
Pride says: “I don’t want anybody telling me what to do.”
Wisdom says: “Maybe somebody else can see something I can’t see right now.”
Pride says: “I’ll figure it out.”
Humility says: “I need you.” And sometimes… the most faithful thing we can say is: “Okay, God. I surrender.” 🙏🏽
So yes… we have made a decision. I am going to the Skilled Nursing Facility.
Not because I’m giving up.
NOT because I’m weak.
NOT because my life is over.
And certainly not because fear gets the final word.
I’m going FOR MY OWN GOOD. ❤️🩹
I’m going so I can get stronger.
I’m going so I can focus on rehabilitation.
I’m going so trained professionals can help monitor me.
I’m going so my family can breathe.
I’m going so my sister and niece can rest.
I’m going because sometimes receiving help is not a failure.
Receiving help can be an act of love.
THAT brings me right back to what we’ve been talking about:
THE HOW OF LOVE. ❤️
Because love isn’t always somebody holding your hand and telling you everything is going to be okay.
Sometimes love says: “Baby, you’re wrong.” 😳
Sometimes love says: “We’re not doing this anymore.”
Sometimes love says: “You need help.”
Sometimes love gets angry because it’s exhausted from watching you hurt yourself.
Sometimes love has to tell you something you desperately don’t want to hear.
That’s love, too: Learning to RECEIVE that kind of love?
That’s part of the HOW.
So here’s my lesson for today:
❤️ HOW DO WE OWN OUR FOOLISHNESS?
1. Stop blaming everybody else.
Before asking, “Who did this to me?” Ask: “What part of this belongs to me?” Not ALL of it. Your part. Own YOUR part.
2. Name the fear underneath the behavior.
Ask yourself: “What am I REALLY afraid of?” Because anger may be covering fear. Control may be covering fear. Stubbornness may be covering fear. Pride may be covering fear. Find the fear. Then deal with the fear.
3. Stop confusing pride with strength.
There is nothing strong about refusing help when you need it. There is strength in saying: “I need help.”
4. Listen when people who love you tell you something difficult.
They may not always be right.
But don’t automatically dismiss them because you don’t like what they’re saying.
Sometimes the uncomfortable voice is the voice carrying the truth you need.
5. Apologize without adding a BUT.
Not: “I’m sorry, BUT…” No. Just: “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Whew. That’s a hard sentence for some of us.
But it can be incredibly freeing.
6. Change the behavior.
Because an apology without changed behavior becomes another promise nobody believes.
If I say I’m sorry for fighting everybody who loves me… then I have to learn how to stop fighting everybody who loves me.
That’s the HOW.
7. Let humility have a seat at the table.
You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to control everything. You don’t have to carry everything!
And you absolutely do NOT have to prove your strength by suffering alone.
❤️ So today I’m saying:
God, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the times fear became bigger than my faith.
I’m sorry for the times pride spoke louder than wisdom.
I’m sorry for the ways my resistance hurt the people who were trying to love me.
I’m sorry for making everything about what I was going through and forgetting that the people who loved me were going through it too.
And God… thank You for loving me enough to ask me the question I didn’t want to answer: “What are you so afraid of?”
Because sometimes the beginning of healing isn’t another person changing.
Sometimes… it’s us finally telling the truth about ourselves. ❤️🩹
And Beloveds… if you’re reading this and realizing that fear has been running YOUR life… don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t sit in shame.
Own it.
Ask the hard question.
Apologize where you need to apologize.
Receive correction.
Make the change.
And then…
MOVE FORWARD.
Because accountability isn’t about living forever in yesterday’s mistake.
It’s about learning enough from yesterday that you don’t keep repeating it tomorrow.
That’s what I’m doing.
I’m learning.
I’m surrendering.
I’m receiving help.
I’m getting stronger.
And I’m learning the HOW of love.
Including how to love the people who love me enough to tell me the truth. ❤️🔥
Now I’m asking YOU:
Have you ever let fear, pride, stubbornness, or the need to control something keep you from accepting help?
What happened when you finally had to surrender? You don’t have to tell us anything private. Just ask yourself:
“What am I so afraid of?”
Your answer might teach you something you desperately need to know. We’re going to keep learning this together.
The HOW of love.
How to give it.
How to receive it.
How to recognize it.
How to apologize.
How to forgive.
How to set boundaries.
How to listen.
How to humble ourselves.
How to love somebody enough to tell them the truth… even when the truth hurts.
❤️💞❤️🔥 Come walk this path with me.
Follow along, because we’re just getting started.
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra #YourLifeMattersToMe
NOTE: Sometimes the bravest words we can say are: “I was wrong.” “I’m sorry.” “I need help.” “I don’t know.” “I surrender.”
And sometimes… “Okay, God. You were right.” 😂🙏🏽
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
WHEW.
🧱🤯😱
Keep pruning, beloveds.
August 8, 2026
❤️WHEN THE NEWS IS BAD: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH FEAR? ➡️❤️
Beloveds,
Let’s have another real conversation.
Because yesterday we talked about learning how to love when life gets hard.
Today?
Let’s talk about what happens when somebody walks into the room and gives you news you REALLY didn’t want to hear.
You know the kind.
The kind that makes your stomach drop.
The kind that makes your heart race.
The kind where your mind immediately starts running 100 miles an hour. ♀️
“What does this mean?”
“What’s going to happen to me?”
“What am I going to do?”
“What happens now?”
And sometimes before we’ve even heard the whole story…
FEAR has already written the ending.
I know something about that.
So let’s learn what to do.
Not just “don’t be afraid.”
That’s easy to say.
Let’s talk about HOW to deal with fear when it shows up.
❤️ FIRST: STOP.
Don’t make a major decision in the first five minutes of panic if you don’t have to.
Take a breath.
Sit down.
Drink some water.
Give your nervous system a moment to catch up with what your ears just heard.
You don’t have to solve your entire life in one conversation.
Pause.
❤️ SECOND: GET THE FACTS.
Fear LOVES a blank space.
And if we don’t have information, our minds will often fill that space with the worst possible scenario.
So ask questions.
“What exactly are you telling me?”
“What do you know for certain?”
“What don’t you know yet?”
“What are my options?”
“What happens if I say no?”
“What happens if I say yes?”
“Can I have some time to think about this?”
Information doesn’t make every situation easy.
But it can make the situation clearer.
❤️ THIRD: SEPARATE FACT FROM FEAR.
This is HUGE.
Write two columns if you need to.
WHAT I KNOW:
The facts I have right now.
WHAT I’M AFRAID OF:
Everything my mind is imagining might happen.
Those are NOT necessarily the same thing.
Fear says:
“This is the end.”
Facts may simply say:
“We need to figure out what comes next.”
That’s a BIG difference.
❤️ FOURTH: DON’T LET FEAR MAKE YOU CRUEL.
This one is hard.
When we’re scared, we can become defensive.
We can snap.
We can accuse.
We can push people away.
We can say things we don’t really mean.
And afterward?
We may still have the original problem PLUS a damaged relationship.
So if you feel yourself getting ready to explode…
PAUSE.
Try:
“I’m scared right now. I need a minute.”
That’s much healthier than:
“Leave me alone!”
Even though sometimes…
YOU MAY VERY MUCH WANT TO SAY “LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Take the minute.
Then come back to the conversation.
❤️ FIFTH: DON’T CONFUSE ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF WITH FIGHTING EVERYBODY.
You are allowed to say:
“I don’t agree.”
You are allowed to ask for another opinion.
You are allowed to ask questions.
You are allowed to say:
“I need to understand why you’re recommending this.”
You are allowed to say:
“What alternatives do I have?”
You are allowed to have a voice.
But here’s the lesson:
You can stand up for yourself without tearing somebody else down. ❤️
That’s strength.
❤️ SIXTH: ASK FOR HELP.
Fear loves isolation.
Love says:
“Come sit with me.”
Call somebody.
Text somebody.
Ask somebody to sit beside you.
Ask someone to help you write down the information.
If you’re overwhelmed, say:
“I’m having trouble processing everything you’re telling me. Can you slow down?”
You don’t have to carry every difficult moment alone.
❤️ SEVENTH: DON’T MAKE FEAR YOUR DECISION-MAKER.
Fear can give you information.
It can tell you:
“Pay attention.”
“Something feels uncertain.”
“Ask more questions.”
That’s useful.
But fear should not automatically get the final vote.
Because fear doesn’t always know the future.
Fear knows what it’s afraid of.
That’s different.
❤️ EIGHTH: IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, TAKE THE FEAR TO GOD.
❤️
Not because believers never get scared.
We DO.
Faith isn’t pretending you aren’t afraid.
Faith can sound like:
“God, I’m scared. I don’t understand this. I don’t know what happens next. But I’m giving You the part I cannot carry.”
And if you’re not a believer?
You are still welcome here. ❤️
You can breathe.
You can ground yourself.
You can talk to someone you trust.
You can sit quietly.
You can write.
You can remind yourself:
“I don’t know the future yet.”
You don’t have to share my faith to practice hope.
❤️ NINTH: DON’T MAKE PERMANENT CONCLUSIONS FROM TEMPORARY PANIC.
This is a big one.
When you’re overwhelmed, your brain may tell you:
“Everything is over.”
“Nothing will ever get better.”
“I can’t handle this.”
Slow down.
You may be exhausted.
You may be frightened.
You may be overwhelmed.
But you don’t necessarily know what tomorrow holds.
So don’t force yourself to answer tomorrow’s questions today.
Today’s job is today.
One conversation.
One decision.
One question.
One breath.
❤️ AND FINALLY: GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL.
You don’t have to be the strong one every second.
Cry.
Be angry.
Be disappointed.
Be scared.
Say:
“This is hard.”
Because pretending something doesn’t hurt doesn’t make you stronger.
Learning how to move through the hurt without allowing it to destroy you?
THAT is strength. ❤️
And here’s the part I really want us to remember:
Sometimes the person delivering the difficult news is uncomfortable too.
They may be scared for you.
They may be worried about making the wrong recommendation.
They may be carrying their own pressure.
That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.
But it DOES mean we can remember:
There are human beings on both sides of the difficult conversation. ❤️
So let’s try something different.
When hard news comes…
Pause.
Breathe.
Listen.
Ask questions.
Separate facts from fear.
Ask for help.
Advocate for yourself.
Don’t make decisions from panic when you can give yourself time.
Don’t let fear turn you against people who are trying to help.
And above all…
DON’T LET BAD NEWS STEAL YOUR CAPACITY TO LOVE. ❤️
The news may be difficult.
The road may be difficult.
The decision may be difficult.
But you?
You can learn how to walk through difficult things without becoming a difficult person.
That’s what we’re learning here.
Not how to avoid hard things.
How to face them.
With courage.
With compassion.
With wisdom.
With hope.
With love. ❤️
And for those who believe…
with faith.
Because sometimes the greatest victory isn’t that the news changed.
Sometimes the victory is that the news didn’t change who you decided to be. ❤️
Asking for A Friend,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
NOTE:
If difficult news finds you today, don’t rush to become tomorrow’s version of yourself.
Stay here.
Breathe here.
Ask questions here.
Love here.
One step. One step. One step.
You are loved. You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
❤️
Beloveds,
Whew.
Whew!
WHEW!!!
I came home from the hospital FREEZING.
And when I say freezing, I mean FREEZING! 🥶
I had been in excruciating pain. I was left uncovered for hours, lying on a hard surface, hurting and uncomfortable, and wondering how much more my body was going to have to endure.
And yet here I am.
HOME. ❤️
Still talking.
Still thinking.
Still laughing.
Still loving. ❤️
Still believing.
Still choosing.
And THAT is what I want us to talk about today.
Because sometimes life doesn’t give you a choice about what happens to you.
But there are still choices you can make about what happens INSIDE of you because of what happened to you.
Whew! Now THAT will preach! 🤗
You may not be able to choose the diagnosis.
You may not be able to choose the disappointment.
You may not be able to choose who hurts you.
You may not be able to choose the loss.
You may not be able to choose the circumstances surrounding you.
But there are moments when you CAN choose:
How will I respond?
Will I let this make me bitter?
Will I let this steal every ounce of joy?
Will I stop loving?
Will I stop hoping?
Will I stop believing that tomorrow can be different?
OR…
Will I say:
“This hurts. This is hard. I don’t understand it. BUT this isn’t going to take EVERYTHING from me.” ❤️
That doesn’t mean you pretend the pain isn’t real.
Oh, please don’t misunderstand me.
Laughing doesn’t mean you’re not hurting.
Sometimes laughter is how we remind ourselves:
“Pain is here… but so am I.” ❤️
Sometimes you have to laugh because if you don’t, you might cry!
Sometimes you laugh while tears are still sitting in your eyes.
Sometimes you smile while your heart is still healing.
Sometimes you say, “Lord, I don’t know what I’m doing!”
And then you take ONE MORE STEP.
That’s not denial.
That’s resilience.
That’s choosing life.
That’s choosing hope.
That’s choosing love.
And Scripture gives us a beautiful picture of what that kind of love looks like.
1 Corinthians 13:7 (NIV) says:
«“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”»
Did y’all catch that?
ALWAYS HOPES.
ALWAYS PERSEVERES.
Not because everything is easy.
Not because everything makes sense.
Not because we aren’t hurting.
But because love refuses to give up.
And then we get to one of my FAVORITE passages:
1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NIV):
«“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”»
Now here’s where I want us to LEARN HOW.
Because telling somebody, “Choose love,” sounds wonderful.
But HOW?
How do I choose love when I’m hurting?
How do I choose hope when I’m disappointed?
How do I laugh when my heart wants to cry?
How do I keep believing when circumstances are screaming, “Give up!”?
We start by recognizing that our first emotional reaction doesn’t have to become our final decision.
I can be angry…
AND choose not to hurt somebody.
I can be disappointed…
AND choose not to become bitter.
I can be afraid…
AND choose to keep moving.
I can cry…
AND still have hope.
I can hurt…
AND still love.
I can have a terrible day…
AND still find SOMETHING to laugh about.
That’s a choice.
And sometimes it’s a choice we have to make over and over and over again.
Now let me ask YOU something…
Have you ever been in a situation where your CHOICE changed everything?
Maybe you were going through something that could have broken you.
Maybe somebody hurt you.
Maybe you lost something you thought you couldn’t live without.
Maybe your plans fell apart.
Maybe you sat in a hospital room wondering what was going to happen next.
Maybe you went home exhausted, hurting, disappointed and wondering, “How am I going to get through this?”
And somewhere in the middle of it…
YOU MADE A CHOICE.
Maybe it was:
“I’m going to try again.”
Maybe it was:
“I’m going to forgive.”
Maybe it was:
“I’m going to laugh.”
Maybe it was:
“I’m going to trust God.”
Maybe it was simply:
“I’m getting out of this bed today.”
Don’t underestimate that choice.
Sometimes the biggest victories don’t look like victories to anybody else.
Sometimes victory looks like getting dressed.
Sometimes victory looks like taking a shower.
Sometimes victory looks like making that phone call.
Sometimes victory looks like saying, “I’m not giving up today.”
And sometimes…
Victory looks like coming home from the hospital FREEZING and still finding something to laugh about! ❤️
That’s where I am.
I’m not telling you that pain isn’t real.
I KNOW pain is real.
I’m telling you that pain doesn’t get to have the final word.
And neither does sorrow.
Neither does disappointment.
Neither does fear.
Neither does yesterday.
Because hope still has something to say.
Romans 12:12 (NIV) tells us:
«“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”»
JOYFUL IN HOPE.
PATIENT IN AFFLICTION.
FAITHFUL IN PRAYER.
That’s not saying life won’t hurt.
It’s teaching us HOW to live while it hurts.
And that’s what I want us to learn together.
Not how to fake happiness.
Not how to pretend everything is okay.
Not how to put a smile on our face and hide our pain.
But how to say:
“This hurts… and I’m still going to choose love.” ❤️
“This is hard… and I’m still going to choose hope.”
“I’m tired… and I’m still going to take one more step.”
“I don’t understand… and I’m still going to believe there can be something beautiful on the other side.”
And when I can’t do anything else?
Maybe I’ll laugh.
Because sometimes…
YOU JUST HAVE TO LAUGH!
So today, I’m inviting you to think about your own life.
Where are you being asked to make a choice?
What situation has you believing you have no power?
What would change if you stopped asking only:
“Why is this happening to me?”
…and started asking:
“How do I want to respond to what is happening to me?”
That’s where the power begins.
Because you may not control the storm.
But you can learn how to stand in it.
You may not control the pain.
But you can learn how to carry yourself through it.
And you may not be able to choose everything that happens to you…
BUT SOMETIMES YOUR CHOICE CHANGES EVERYTHING. ❤️
So today…
Choose love.
Choose hope.
Choose grace.
Choose laughter when you can.
Choose compassion.
Choose forgiveness when you’re ready.
Choose to keep going.
And if all you can manage today is ONE STEP…
Baby, TAKE THAT ONE STEP!❤️
Then tomorrow…
We’ll see about the next one.
Because we are learning how to live—not just when life is good…
but when life hurts, too.
And we’re going to learn how to do it with GRACE, HOPE, LOVE AND JOY. ❤️
What choice have YOU made in the middle of a difficult situation that changed everything?
Tell me.
Somebody reading your story may need to know they’re not the only one struggling to choose hope. ❤️
Asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
NOTE:
You don’t have to be a believer to belong here. ❤️
You don’t have to have all the answers.
You don’t have to have everything figured out.
Believer.
Atheist.
Agnostic.
Questioning.
Searching.
Somewhere in between.
Come as you are.
I’m here to love.
And I believe love can meet us right in the middle of the mess. ❤️
One step. One step. One step. You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being…YOU! ❤️
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 