I just now, JUST NOW, beloveds, came to an astonishing truth/conclusion:
I have written since mom passed away 2016.
Not really. Not the stories I used to. Not the poems/songs I used to.
I didn’t even realize it until just now. When mom died, God told me to write. To write about it. About her.
For many years, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I didn’t. It’s the one rebellion I definitely kept from God. I wasn’t ready. My dreams went in that casket with her.
Since my friend challenged me to keep my pieces at one minute, and get straight to the point, the writer in me woke up.
I found myself jotting down phrases. Short bursts of feeling found their way onto the pages of my heart.
I found myself speaking to myself, as well as to others. I am calling forth myself. Where has she been hiding all this time?
I don’t know what to make of this development. I shall sit with it a while. I shall see where these words will lead me.
Ah, God, what do I do with me now?
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I don’t even know what I am trying to say or who these words are for. You know who you are.
Keep moving forward. Keep discovering those parts of you that hid during times of immense grief and hardship.
Spring is here. It’s time for old dreams to breathe and live again. Rise. We got thangs to do.
I added days, DAYS I’M TELLIN’ YA, to my illness, simply because I had not stocked up on the right medicine.
I told myself to reorder things. I got busy. Was too busy doing thangs. Smh.
Sure enough, illness knocked, kicked me in the face, and perused the near empty medicine cabinet.
I had just enough to be dangerous. Nothing that would clear up the cough, the congestion and barely touched on the fever. When I looked at the cost of what was needed, I balked. Dummy me.
It only took two extra days of flames erasing my brain for me to holler uncle, aunt and all other entities as I ordered meds suitable for dealing with congestion and cough.
Who knew?! Relief soon followed. Yes, I still feel like paint scrapings. But, I am on the mend. For those wondering how the world I know what paint scrapings feel like, just trust your sis.
I know there is some inspiration in here, somewhere, but I am honestly too tired of coughing to remember.
Someone well please pass out some wonderful pearls of wisdom for us all, okay?
In the meantime, have a wonderful day. This day is as YOU make it. What are you turning your day into?
Note: These have been some wonderfully, hard, frustrating, joyful, exasperating days.
I have laughed, cried and sworn I was done laughing and crying.
Yet,Β I have never been more content. I am sneaking my way towards starting a channel that may do nothing but entertain a dream long held. Ah, what a wonderful thought!…*hugs self*.
I am going to try. Results be what they may be. ALL I have ever wanted was an opportunity.
God has been telling me, for decades, that I was my opportunity. I was afraid to believe Hin. I was terrified to believe in ME. No more. I believe I can. I believe I’ll try. I’ll ask no more of myself than that.
I am trying to drag as many folk with me, on dream pursuit, as I can get. Who is with me? Answer in the comments.
I honestly could cry, beloveds. That is, if this stupid fever would let me alone! ALL I have been wanting to do, ALL week, is to work on, record and post some short video clips.
I have finally, FINALLY I’M TELLIN’ YA, gotten past the intimidation factor of beginning.
I am ready. I have the PERFECT videos selected. I have wondrous words of inspire to aspirate every which a way.
I have background music ready to toss in. I have quiet. I have time. I have EVERYTHING BUT A HEALTHY BODY TO ASPIRATE MY INSPIRE WITH!!!!!!
I have tried everything. I have taken the drug store. I am getting better. Slowly. Apparently, 56 is in NO hurry when it comes to healing, eating Golden Grahams or watching Mission Impossible movies. Smh. Don’t judge me, peeps.
So, here I sit, minding my own business, ready to get into the inspiration bidnezz, when the ONLY business I can get into is the Kleenex business. Ah, God. Ya got jokes, I see.
That said, I really am learning to just use what I have, currently. I no longer have time to fret about what could or should be or have been.
My brain has mostly scrambled from the high fever. So, I’m watching boring, but interesting, editing videos. I’m jotting down ideas. I’m hydrating. I’m listening to uplifting music.
In short, I’m doing SOMETHING. These steps are taking me closer to my dreams. If nothing else, they are keeping me occupied and out of the bathroom.
I just stopped ’round to remind you to use what you have. You have more than enough to start.
The scariest part is the starting. Once you start, the clock starts on folks judging your start/middle/finish.
Critics are gonna critique. Let them. Process your feels. Peel the truth from the harsh, from the silence, from the whatever.
Then, celebrate your try and get up and do it again!
Fail spectacularly. Succeed quietly. Enjoy them both. The win is not the end goal. What’s the end goal? You tell me. Note, you may not know until you try!
I hear chicken noodle soup calling. I have plenty.
Be encouraged. Don’t allow obstacles to keep you from keeping on. Try something else. Go by a new route. Ask for help. Phone a friend.
I don’t care what you do, beloveds, as you do anything other than feel sorry for yourself. If you must feel sorry for yourself. Make it quick! We got thangs to do!
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Get up! Go! I mean it! This world desperately needs what only YOU can provide. You CAN. You WILL!