When will you start believing in yourself? That’s what God asked me. Yikes.
I’m working on regaining confidence in myself. I don’t know why I have looked at my age and decided I can’t do things. I never used to do that. I’m fighting my way back to myself. Age is nothing but a number.
In the meantime, I’m doing the best I can. It’s all I can do. I hope it’s enough. I pray so.
In your meantime, beloveds, believe in yourself. There is more to you than you have allowed to show. Trust yourself. I let yourself explore all that is within you. You’ll be surprised by what you find. Let the world experience all that is you. We have been waiting for you.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep on believing. Life has great things in store for you. Go find out what those things are. You may be the key to my dreams being fulfilled. I may be the key to yours. In the meantime, let’s encourage one another and love one another, shall we?
Ack. It seems like all I do nowadays is start over. I guess that’s a good thing. We can start over as many times in the day as we need to.
I made my Christmas chili. It had been many months since I made chili. Life has not been funny. I have not been in the mood for much. that have been fighting with myself to continue keeping on keeping on. I have not wanted to. I need to.
I did not want to fight with Christmas this year. I wanted to enjoy it. I told myself I would enjoy it. I told grief it was not welcome this year. I made a plan. I told myself I would get up early and get my Christmas chili made. I got up early. I made chili. I turned on music. I reached out to my siblings. I did the opposite of what grief wanted me to do.
I’m working on some pieces so I can enjoy the football games come the weekend. The competition has not been great. In fact, many of the games have been horrible. Mom and I would have spent countless hours lamenting over the awful football. I’m going to enjoy watching awful football with mom in my heart and on my mind.
Be encouraged. If you’re going to a hard time just now, that’s OK. Give yourself permission to process. I allowed myself a day or so just to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself. Then I got up and kept it moving. I have things to do. So do you.
Don’t let the heart keep these from being your best days. I have been watching and listening to old videos lately. I have enjoyed them. I’m getting back to enjoying just being. I’m taking my focus off of trying to find a job and just focusing on what I currently have in my life. Life is more than work.
Remember that you can always begin again. You can start Day 1, again. And again. As many times as needed.
Try not to give yourself a hard time, because you have to start over so many times. That’s what erasers are for. It’s not how many times you start. The most important thing is that you finish. You will finish. Be encouraged.
Keep doing what you know. Keep giving it all you’ve got. Don’t worry about the outcome. The outcome will take care of itself. The only thing you need to worry about is growing. Make sure you’re not growing bitter or disappointed. Disappointments will happen. Life is full of them. That’s OK. Just make sure you remain the positive person that you are.
I never knew that hard could be so damned hard and long could be so damned long! Yet I am still here. So are you.
If you have fallen down, get up again. Don’t judge yourself for having fallen. It happens to the best of us. It WILL happen to all of us, at some point or another.
This is our time as new beginnings. again. How many times will we have to start over again? Who knows? Who cares? Start over as many times as you need to.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I’m still getting over being mad about having to start over again at my age. Starting over sucks. I guess I should have said that a more tasteful manner. No matter what you do don’t give up. You have too much to accomplish for that.
Don’t allow your circumstances to tell YOUR story.
Don’t allow the enemy to tell YOUR story.
Don’t allow your family to tell YOUR story.
Don’t allow friends to tell YOUR story.
Don’t allow your job to tell YOUR story.
Beloveds, only YOU can tell YOUR story the way it was MEANT to be told. Only YOU have lived through your experiences. Only YOU have overcome the things in which you have overcome.
Don’t go the way of the world in being swayed by this, that and every other thing. Make up your own mind. Tell YOUR story. YOUR way. In YOUR words.
Beloveds, you do NOT need another’s permission to do and to be you. Enough of that!
You don’t need a significant other to be significant. You already are. You also do not need a significant other to tell you how to act, think or be. You are perfectly equipped to be about that life on your own.
I am currently listening to “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa. This song ALWAYS makes me feel like the indefatigable, invincible, courageous and spectacular person I am!!! YYYAYYAAAAAASSSSSS!
We spend entirely much too much time worrying about what others think about what we think about what we think about. This sentence doesn’t make sense. It makes about as much sense as worrying about what others think about what we think about!
I’ll stop by long enough to encourage you to tell your own story. Your story is unique to you. You can also kick folk out of your stories if you want to!
Life is short. Tell your story. All of it. Don’t be ashamed of your story. The things that have happened in your life has helped to shape you. Don’t waste a moment worrying about who may or may not read your story. Your audience will find you. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I have gathered so many stories living through this hard time. I am doing my best to share as many of them as I can to help as many people as I can. Life is short. Do you. Be you.
Just sending a bit of love your way, beloveds. Today is a tough one for me. Christmas Eve. I tread lightly through it now. I don’t know how my heart shall greet Christmas. If lucky, it will be just a day spent alone thinking nice thoughts of mom and other fam now gone.
Hopefully, Christmas will be just Christmas.
Anywho, I stopped by to send some care. This has been a long year. Be sure to rest up and look forward to the coming year.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Ah, mom. I miss you. I’m praying and thinking of all who are hurting from the loss of loved ones or those who are alone at this time of year. Lonely has been a tad lonely this week. Be encouraged.
I have yelled at the tornado 🌪, for coming in and smashing up my life.
I have yelled at God for letting the damned tornado come in and smash up my life.
I have yelled at me for not being able to handle something small like an F4 🌪 tornado coming in and smashing up my life.
I have wanted to yell at family for…you get the point, beloveds. I have been wanted to yell at everyone and everything for my life being smashed up just now.
I even want to yell at mom, again, for having the absolute NERVE, to leave us all on Christmas morning 2016. Sheeeeeeeeeuut, mom. You could have waited and helped a sista out through this time.
The weeks, leading up to Christmas, are especially hard now. I have to gear myself up to NOT go into a dark place of unending mom grief.
I have done much better the past two years. This year, however,…whew!
I have fought the darkness ALL week. Relentlessly. I told myself I was okay. I told myself I would be okay.
One morning, the dark arrived and handed me a cup of ☕ coffee. I was too tired to resist. The dark remained. The dark remains. Now, I have one question:
What do you DO with the dark days?
I have thangs to do. I have a job to find. I have pieces to 📝 write. How can I DO these things in the dark?
I have asked God. He is as silent as it is dark.
I have asked The Universe. All I hear are crickets chirping.
I have asked my ♥ heart. My heart is too busy missing mom.
Thankfully, good habits came to the rescue. Good habits and 56 took charge. They sure are bossy!
I find myself dragging hard, fear, lonely, and grief out of bed each day. I ignore them. I make my ☕. I drink said coffee. I keep it pushing. I have thangs to do.
doing thangs in the dark, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Be encouraged. Your dark days shall have their end. In the meantime, know of a surety that you do not walk alone.
Remember, beloveds, that it is okay to not be okay until you are okay, once again. Okay?
I needed to remind myself of this. It’s okay to grieve mom. Yet, I shall show grief the door soon. Christmas is coming. I plan on spending it making mom some homemade brownies. Uh, oh!
Meet my annoying friend want to. Want to is forever standing behind me, ready to apply a swift kick somewhere, to ensure my get up and go’s, get up and go…*pout*.
I keep reminding myself to be good to me, even when I don’t feel like it. Currently, I’m waging a war with lazy. Lazy does NOT want to begin this day. It looks as though it will be the SAME same old. Again. Stale!…*pout*.
My dreams are tantalizing me. They whisper today just may be THE day. Ha! I fell for THAT yesterday! And, the day before that. And, the day before that!!!!
Still, today just may be our day, eh? In any event, beloveds, we have to be good to ourselves. In the meantime. During the waiting.
Get out of bed. Take a walk. Tell lazy and fear to take a hike.
Then, do SOMETHING towards bringing your dream into reality. Doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just a something. Take just ONE step.
What do you do when life happens at the worst time?
I’ve been asking myself that question for the last 6 months. I have been trying to figure out the answer for the last 6 months. This is the absolute worst time to be trying to find a job. This could not be a worst time to be 56 without a job. The tornado could not have picked the worst time to have happened.
Now I am left with trying to figure things out. in real time. Having been left with nothing, I have to do the best I can with what I have left. which has been a whole lot of nothing. Go figure.
It’s hard to learn a lesson when you’re trying to figure out how to keep the lights on. It’s not easy remaining calm when disaster seems near.
Living in the meantime can be awfully difficult when in the meantime, life is especially troublesome and tiring. The fairy tales don’t tell you what to do after the credits stops rolling.
These times are here for a reason. It’s up to me to work to find out what those reasons are. I wish I could tell reason to kiss my uh oh. I can’t. I have to be the mature 56 year old I am. Yikes.
I’m trying my utmost not to be angry about having to start over at 56 in this manner. I could have done this easily 30 years ago. Youth would have been on my side. Now I have an old body and a tired mind.
The news is full of nothing but gloom and doom. I refuse to see it with my fear. I pour the oxygen of praise, love and joy over the sad tidings. I find that 56 is a valiant warrior. She refused to give up. She laughs at hard. 56 is an encourager. She tells me to keep going. She tells me that everything truly will work out. She tells me that everything will come out in a wash. I am beginning to enjoy 56.
56 is relentless. Maybe she recognizes how truly short life is. I’m doing the best I can with the days I have. I have to. So do you. There’s too much left unfinished.
I still don’t know how to quite answer. What do you do when life happens at the worst time? I’m still figuring that out in real time. I’ll let you know on the other side. There will be another side for me. I will make it there. as will you.
In the meantime, keep doing the best you can. For as long as you can. Rest, then begin again.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: God has never lost a battle. He never will. Be encouraged.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 