Fear and I have been in some mighty battles since the tornado.
Fear: You won’t find a job.
Me: I will.
Fear: You will lose everything.
Me: I might.
Fear: God won’t be there for you.
Me: He is.
Fear: God may be there for you but will certainly tell you no when you ask for THAT. Hasn’t He been silent all these last years?
Me: This is true. Still, I’m going to keep asking.
Initially, I battled fear alone. I didn’t admit to being afraid. Outwardly, I told everyone all was well. I told myself all was well.
Secretly/inwardly, I quietly told myself I was terrified. I was absolutely terrified.
Soon, comfort eating replaced standing ten toes down on FAITH.
I was, initially, afraid God’s Answer would be no.
Soon, I began to focus on and ask myself what if God DOES say no?!
Would I:
Walk away?
Walk away from my faith?
Walk away from my faith in HIM?
To my delight, my answers were an emphatic NO!
NO, I will NOT walk away.
NO, I will NOT walk away from my faith.
Absolutely, NO, I will NOT walk away from HIM.
His yes or no has NO bearing on MY yes or no.
I have been doing my level best to not allow my choices to be guided by other’s choices. Meaning, I am not going to treat folk how they treat me.
I am going to love folk. Period. Hopefully, that love will be returned. If I am treated poorly, I shall move on.
I am holding myself accountable for my life. No one owes me a thing. God doesn’t owe me squat. The Universe doesn’t owe me. Life doesn’t owe me. Family does not owe me. Friends owe me nothing.
My life IS the cake. The rest is occasional icing. What’s more, I can ice my own cake as well…lol.
In the end, the answer may turn out to be no. I shall never know until I ask Him. I have.
I await His Answer.
Ah, God…
May I?
Will you?
Can we?
How soon?
How much?
How?
asking for many friends,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Be encouraged, beloveds. The answer will ALWAYS be for your good and with your best interests in mind. Be well this day.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
- REAL TALK: DESPISE NOT SMALL BEGINNINGS, BELOVEDS.👘🦺🥾👟🥿👞🩴👢🩰👡⛑️🔌🕯️🔎🖌️🖋️📢
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 