Category: hope

Don’t be afraid to fail.

Ack!

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzz!!!

*stomps foot*

*sigh*

I have been trying to teach myself how to transfer videos from Canva to Instagram. I am ready to scream already!!!

Times past, beloveds, I would have used the excuse ‘I don’t know how’ to keep myself from trying the little I HAVE learned.

Now, I try. Badly. I THINK I have figured out that you have to first download the video and then share or some such a thing.

Ack!!!!

SOMETHING is happening. The little white circle IS circling. Perhaps something shall post there. Perhaps not. Still, I am satisfied with my meager attempt to reach out to the world to let someone know they are loved and not alone.

Don’t be afraid to fail, beloveds. Fail, spectacularly. Then, dust yourself off and find something else to tear up until you figure out how…..hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

I used to strive for perfection. Now, I strive to be as excellent as I can possibly be in this terribly frayed and flawed human called Cassandra.

Me is all I have. Me is all I can give. I am satisfied with this old, tore up me that is forever tearing up SOMETHING.

I am seizing THIS day. Shakily. Unhurried. Wondering. How wonderful!

Take care to remember you can only do what you can do. That’s it. KNOWING this, beloveds, why can’t you cut YOU some slack, okay?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I KNOW I have flooded your inboxes, beloveds. Yet, someone is terribly discouraged and on the verge of giving up. I can NOT give up on him/her/them. I dare not. Be encouraged. Keep moving forward. Ever forward. Stop looking at the waves. Don’t fear the storm. You are NOT alone. You SHALL survive AND thrive. I promise.

How do I know? I did. I have. I am. God is no respecter of persons. Meaning, your life, safety and wellbeing is just as important as mine. Your steps are carefully watched, beloveds. Yes, I know. It feels as though your cries have fallen on deaf ears.

You pray. You wait. You pray. You wait. You watch others being blessed. You pray. You wait. You grow soooooooooooooooo weary in your well doing. You pray. You hope. You wait. Your heart fails from the endless waiting.

Tribulation befalls us all. It hurts. That said, once we have been tried, we SHALL come forth as gold. The heat is awful. It’s terribly lonely. The hard is terribly hard to deal with. Be encouraged. All things have an end.

The trial, the hard, is NOT the point. How you come out of the hard, the trial, IS what matters. The bible says to endure hardness ‘as a good shoulder’. More and more, I am understanding what that means. What does it mean? Ah, beloveds, you have to endure to find out!

Don’t give up. Not just yet. Don’t be afraid to fail. Failing does not make you a failure. It just means you have not figured the thing out. That’s okay. You are okay. Everything else will be okay. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Be encouraged.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Use what you have.

My new computer is acting old. In times past, I would have grown angry. I would’ve wasted time fussing and fuming at the stupid computer.

Now, I simply move on to something else. I have switched to my phone. I can do the same things.It will just take a little bit longer.

I’m learning how not to fight against it taking longer. Things take time. Important things take time. Some things will take a lifetime.

I really did think I was going to die in that tornado. I stood in the bathroom and cried. I wondered if my life had meant anything to anyone.

Every sinse the lights came back on, I have still wondered. I wonder even now. I want my life to matter. I want my voice to heal broken hearts.

I want my actions to show others they can do it. I want my life to uplift.

I want many things. Yet, I don’t want THINGS. I want healing. For me. For you. For all.

What I have to give just does not seem to be enough. I’m giving it  anyway. I’m using what I have. Me.

Use what you have, beloveds. You are enough. Your try is enough.

Be encouraged.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: There is nothing more aggravating than things not working when we need them to. Making lemonade out of lemons gets old.

I didn’t want to write today. It’s much too hot. It’s much too hot to want to do anything but hide and bed saying how hot it is.

I got out of bed. I wrote. I had my me time. Now I am giving you a bit of my me  time. I have been watching the Olympics and watching people win and lose.

We all win and lose in life. There is no shame in losing. We learn so many things when we lose. We learn how to congratulate the winner graciously. We learn how to accept defeat honorably. There is no shame in that.

I am learning how to accept my failures without feeling like a failure. I am not a failure. I just did not succeed at the last attempt. I will try again.

I will feel again. No matter. I will laugh and move on. Life is short.

Keep moving forward. Keep pressing on. Stand fast. Don’t ever allow yourself to give up on you. Many will give up on you. That’s okay. There others who will stand by your side. Wait for them. They are coming.

Take care of your heart. Your heart is precious. So are you. In case no one told you yet today: I love you. So does  He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Putting in my application(s) to The Universe.

I have been sitting here. Quietly. Praying.

Then, I found myself talking to The Universe. About what I wanted to DO. With my life.

I told The Universe that I do NOT want to spend another second pursuing anything other than encouraging folk to keep going. Not another second.

After the tornado, I found myself in darkness. It was hot. I was hungry. All the food was ruined. There was no air. There was no power.

I felt helpless. I felt hopeless. Still, ALL I thought of was how soon I could get back to encouraging folk.

My phone had no battery life. My laptop had long since ran out of power. EVERYTHING I had that had power was long used up.

Still, I wondered what I could DO, when the lights came on.

The lights came on. I wonder, now, what I can DO. I feel helpless. I feel powerless. I have nothing. Save my words. Save me. Me is all I have ever had. Doesn’t seem enough. Not now.

Will it ever? Will I ever? Matter? I hope so. I pray so.

I am betting on me. Finally. So, I find myself putting in applications to The Universe. I am sending cover letters of what I hope to bring to the world. I am selling my skills, my try, my want to, my have to.

I am letting The Universe know of all I hope to give, to plan and to do in what time I have left here.

Ah, Universe. Open the door(s) for me. Allow me to spend ALL my day(s) letting folk know how truly special they are. Oh, Universe, expand yourself so I can reach in/up/down/through so I can help make and pave the way for others who seek to do the same as me. Ow, Universe. Your slowness is breaking my heart. Let this be my time.

asking for a friend(me),

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Let The Universe know what you want. You don’t get what you don’t ask for…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep asking.

Real talk, beloveds.

I have wanted to stop.

Asking.

Hoping.

Believing.

Asking, hoping and believing takes a llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooot of work. Particularly, when hard is being especially hard.

What do I DO when I get to feeling this way? After some admitted pouting, I get back after it. I ask. I hope. I believe. Life is much too short to do otherwise.

Yea, I could take the pity party route. Only leads to more waiting and heartache.

Yea, I could do as most do and blame the entirety of the world for my present mess.

Yet, I choose. To ask. To hope. To believe. I got thangs to do.

As do you.

It’s okay to get discouraged. Perfectly fine to pout, just a smidge, at disappointment. Do what you need to then get up and get going. You got thangs to do.

doing thangs despite the heartache,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Unless you are here to pass out snacks, you should be out there doing thangs, living your life, rejoicing in the wonders to come and encouraging some other folk to hang in there. In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

30 years in the making.

30 years in the making.

My dreams.

My hopes.

My frustrations.

30 years in the making.

And more.

30 years in the making.

Desires, seeking to be free of me and fears long held.

Expressions, longing to breathe life into the absolute ridiculous ideas careening around my soul.

Satisfaction, seeking to be sought from accomplishing wishes long buried now waiting to be set free.

Ah, God.

I’m trying.

Why has this making been 30 years in the making?!

I’m ready.

Let me know.

Let me grow.

Let me go.

Let me try.

30 years in the making.

Making me cra cra.

Making me wonder.

Making me.

Ah.

Aha!

You have been making ME!

These past years, beloveds, have been such a teacher. Before, I was pursuing ministry. Before, I was chasing after relationships. Before, I was chasing after career. Before, I was chasing after dreams.

Now, I no longer chase. Now, I no longer pursue. Now, I am learning how to wait. Patiently. Expectantly. Hopefully. Faithfully. Joyfully.

And, no, beloveds, the wait has NOT always been joyful and hopeful. In fact, the wait has often felt like a huge weight. In my way. On my shoulders. Keeping me from DOING dammit!

DOING used to be my main focus. Now, my focus is doing what’s necessary, WHEN it’s necessary. I don’t want to be doing outside the right time. Timing is everything. I don’t want to do before folk are ready. I don’t want to do before my heart is ready.

Doing, for the sake of doing, has been one of the biggest reasons why I burned myself out. I was so used to doing, for doing’s sake, I forgot what the world I was doing in the first place! Yikes! Egads!

I have promised I will do my level best to be and let the doing take care of itself. I am also learning not to judge my doing, or lack thereof, based on other folks do or not do.

We each have our path. We all have our own thangs to do or not do. Best we stop judging ourselves by others and be about being about it for ourselves, eh?

30 years in the making.

I think, beloveds, if I could wait 30 years, I think I can manage a bit more time….lol.

Be encouraged. Don’t regret the time spent pursuing your dreams. The time has been spent, for a reason. Maybe, the reason never was for you. Maybe, beloveds, the reason has been for others, all along.

All we can do is to do, wait, be, try and allow the outcome to be whatever The Universe has chosen for it to be.

My heart has been terribly saddened to see so many folks trampling on the hearts of others to get their ‘needs’ met. My soul is grieved to see folks gleefully taking from others in order to have for themselves. My spirit cries from seeing folk who just don’t understand how precious and priceless others are.

We are NOT the center of the universe. We are NOT entitled to have whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want it. We are NOT here to steal as much as we can from the environment, folk pocket books and the world at large.

We are here to leave things better than we have found them.

We are here to be of service to one another.

We are here to love.

We are here to be loved.

We are here to care.

We are here to share.

We are here to hope.

We are here to shine our light to drive out the darkness.

We are here to laugh.

We are here to cry.

We are here to live.

We are here for many, many reasons.

We are here, beloveds.

Since we are here, how about we DO something with the lives we have?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

BBQ cookout: Things are NOT what they seem.

Life keeps handing out baskets of nasty, er, 🍋.

I’m tired of it.

Tired of life being so darned lifery.

Craig suggested a BBQ cookout. I agree. Life is just toooooooooooo short to be cowering under the covers because life is being a big meanie.

Be encouraged. Let’s have a laugh and a cookout:

🍇🍉🥭🥩🥓🍔🥪🥘🍲🫕🥗🧂🍤🥧🍦🍡

Remember, you are not responsible for outcomes. You are not responsible for the actions and outcomes of others.

You are NOT to blame when life has turned things upside down and you have no idea which way is up.

I have declared a moratorium on being about being about it. This is a day to rest. Not wait. Just rest. The rest truly WILL come out in the wash.

In the meantime, we eat!

resting I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Yes, we sick and tired of hard. But, ALL things shall, will and do work together for our good. Don’t get mad at me for saying that. God said it. I believe it. That settles it.

In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: My file 🗄 cabinet.

I have been unpacking my file cabinet for the past few days.

My internal cabinet.

The ‘”I’ll get to it later” cabinet where I stored ALL the hard things, troubling things, angering things, extra lifery things I did not have time to deal with, at the time.

Now, jobless, I have nothing but time to unpack, peruse and feel🗄:

Anger.🩻

Anger.🩺

And, more anger.🔬

Dammit!!

*Cassandra angrily goes through an especially angering, humiliating and costly memory 🩸 she had to take the ‘high road’ on as that’s what GOOD stewards and Christians did*

Dammit!!

*Cassandra tosses aside visons of this, that and the other of being dismissed, silenced, passed over, glossed over, gaslit, not chosen and the fifty bajillion ways life was just NOT DAMNED FAIR!!!*

Dammit!!!

*Hearing the commotion, God quietly sat next to Cassandra and handed her memories that were simply too heavy, too hard, too embarrassing, too shameful for her to look at, much less bare the weight of*🩹

*Seeing her sad, both Night and Day decided to be with her as she worked her way through her file cabinet. It was needed, you see. Her cabinet had just grown too big to leave this way. She had thangs to do. Her cabinet MUST be emptied in order for her to move forward*🪣

DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMITTTTTTTTTT!!!

working my way still🧯,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am not strong. Not today. I have been fighting with myself about giving myself a break from beating myself up over things not done, things left unsaid. I am upset about opportunities not taken. Vacations pushed aside so I could take care of a world that now could give two hoots about me and my jobless, broke life.

I am grateful. Now, I have nothing to hide behind. Now, I have nothing but time to face things I had promised myself I would ‘take care of’ years and years ago. No wonder I have been so soul tired lately. So much garbage and baggage locked away.

Beloveds, we were never meant to walk around with years of regrets, undealt memories and situations.

We were meant to leave them at the Cross. It’s partially what Jesus came to do: Set us free. Be there for us. It’s what The Universe is partially here for: help us to walk this earth in VICTORY. Head held up as we live a life of integrity, truth and love. It’s what God is here partially for: to walk WITH us as we choose how we are going to maneuver through the world.

This is a painful time. Yet, a joyous one. I am living. I am growing. I am healing. I am learning about me. I am learning how to extend the grace God has graciously given me, to my fellow man.

I am being given countless opportunities to choose to stand on faith and NOT fear. Ah, beloveds, I chose fear more than I care to admit. NO more.

Yes, I shall experience fear. I choose, now, to fight back. I shant ever, never, nada, nope, forgetaboutit allow fear to run my choices.

I am using this hard to empty myself of ALL things holding me back. I invite you to do the same. Life is short. Don’t leave your file cabinet sitting for too much longer. Relieve yourself of the weight that has been easily besetting you and run the race set before you. Believers will know of what I speak. As for the rest, do the best you can and keep it moving. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: Are you sure?😳

God: Are you sure?🥰

The Universe: Are you sure?🤗

Life: Are you sure?🥊👢

Me: Are you sure?!😳

I am:

Sure.

Certain.

Focused.

I have:

Begun.

Again.

I will:

Try.

Succeed.

Fail.

No matter.

What matters:

I am sure.

certain,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have NO idea what comes next, beloveds. I DO know I am sure. Ah. Aha!

Don’t fear life’s disruptions. Disruptions can lead to awesomely amazing changes. It’s all in how we look at and embrace what happens. What are you DOING with your lemons? I think I shall make some pie with my current crop. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Life kicked me in the hiney.👢

Life: 👢

Me: Ow.

Life: 👢

Me: Ow!

Life: 👢

Me: OW!! 😳😡

Life: 👢

Me: 😭🤬

Life: 👢🥊👢👢🥊🥊👢🤯🤡🥊👢

Day/Night: 🤼‍♀️.  You may want to spend less time wrestling with us, and more time addressing Life kicking your hiney. Not saying, just saying…

Me: K.

Life has been kicking my in the hiney for quite some time. Trying to get my attention. Trying to get me to move. Trying to get me to act in faith. Trying. Trying. Trying.

All the while, beloveds, I have been a trying soul for Life, for God, For The Universe to deal with. I have, had, been getting on my own last nerves.

I have been fighting.

Fighting me.

Fighting with me.

Fighting within me.

The me, with all the dreams, has been fighting with the me who had always been told she never could/would/should have all God, Life and The Universe had been preparing for me since before I was born.

For years, I have been wanting/needing to move forward. Onward. Somewhere!

Yet, I kept repeating lines others have whispered to me for the whole of my life:

“You never will”

“You never can”

“You are not enough”

“You don’t have”

“You won’t ever have”

“You can’t do THAT”

“You will never make it through THIS”

It’s not even that I believed them. It just seemed easier, somehow, to listen to them. Which led me to stop believing. In me. I stopped fighting. For me.

God knew this. Which is why He and The Universe kept sending Life to kick my hiney until I began to fight back.

For me.

With me.

Within me.

Now, beloveds, I fight with all that is within me. Bless His Holy Name.

Ah, God. Thank You for helping me to fight back.

Oh, Universe. Thank You for convincing me I could/can/shall/will.

Ow, Life. Thanks. Geeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

grateful for lessons learned,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short, beloveds. Best get to living it. It’s time to stop allowing yourselves to be ruled by fear instilled by others. By fears fueled by you. By fear coming from not knowing what comes next.

Ah, beloveds. You CAN. You WILL! The ONLY way to find out is to actually get out there and find out. I have. More about that in upcoming posts. Let’s go!!!! Asking for A Friend. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep getting in your ten.

Eight.

EIGHT!

Me: I’m tired.

God: You promised you would write TEN pieces for the week. You have done eight.

Me: Only I will know, though.

God: Yes, only you will know. So will your dreams. So shall I.

Me: Geeeeeeeez. When You say it like that…*stomps to get in ten*

keeping my promise to ME,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s necessary to keep your promises to YOU, beloveds. Don’t let lazy stop you. Don’t let unbelief stop you. Don’t let your circumstances keep you from keeping the promises you have made to you.

Okay, have to go now. Another piece is calling me. Good habits can be awfully mean, can’t they?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!