Category: hope

Keep asking.

Real talk, beloveds.

I have wanted to stop.

Asking.

Hoping.

Believing.

Asking, hoping and believing takes a llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooot of work. Particularly, when hard is being especially hard.

What do I DO when I get to feeling this way? After some admitted pouting, I get back after it. I ask. I hope. I believe. Life is much too short to do otherwise.

Yea, I could take the pity party route. Only leads to more waiting and heartache.

Yea, I could do as most do and blame the entirety of the world for my present mess.

Yet, I choose. To ask. To hope. To believe. I got thangs to do.

As do you.

It’s okay to get discouraged. Perfectly fine to pout, just a smidge, at disappointment. Do what you need to then get up and get going. You got thangs to do.

doing thangs despite the heartache,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Unless you are here to pass out snacks, you should be out there doing thangs, living your life, rejoicing in the wonders to come and encouraging some other folk to hang in there. In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

30 years in the making.

30 years in the making.

My dreams.

My hopes.

My frustrations.

30 years in the making.

And more.

30 years in the making.

Desires, seeking to be free of me and fears long held.

Expressions, longing to breathe life into the absolute ridiculous ideas careening around my soul.

Satisfaction, seeking to be sought from accomplishing wishes long buried now waiting to be set free.

Ah, God.

I’m trying.

Why has this making been 30 years in the making?!

I’m ready.

Let me know.

Let me grow.

Let me go.

Let me try.

30 years in the making.

Making me cra cra.

Making me wonder.

Making me.

Ah.

Aha!

You have been making ME!

These past years, beloveds, have been such a teacher. Before, I was pursuing ministry. Before, I was chasing after relationships. Before, I was chasing after career. Before, I was chasing after dreams.

Now, I no longer chase. Now, I no longer pursue. Now, I am learning how to wait. Patiently. Expectantly. Hopefully. Faithfully. Joyfully.

And, no, beloveds, the wait has NOT always been joyful and hopeful. In fact, the wait has often felt like a huge weight. In my way. On my shoulders. Keeping me from DOING dammit!

DOING used to be my main focus. Now, my focus is doing what’s necessary, WHEN it’s necessary. I don’t want to be doing outside the right time. Timing is everything. I don’t want to do before folk are ready. I don’t want to do before my heart is ready.

Doing, for the sake of doing, has been one of the biggest reasons why I burned myself out. I was so used to doing, for doing’s sake, I forgot what the world I was doing in the first place! Yikes! Egads!

I have promised I will do my level best to be and let the doing take care of itself. I am also learning not to judge my doing, or lack thereof, based on other folks do or not do.

We each have our path. We all have our own thangs to do or not do. Best we stop judging ourselves by others and be about being about it for ourselves, eh?

30 years in the making.

I think, beloveds, if I could wait 30 years, I think I can manage a bit more time….lol.

Be encouraged. Don’t regret the time spent pursuing your dreams. The time has been spent, for a reason. Maybe, the reason never was for you. Maybe, beloveds, the reason has been for others, all along.

All we can do is to do, wait, be, try and allow the outcome to be whatever The Universe has chosen for it to be.

My heart has been terribly saddened to see so many folks trampling on the hearts of others to get their ‘needs’ met. My soul is grieved to see folks gleefully taking from others in order to have for themselves. My spirit cries from seeing folk who just don’t understand how precious and priceless others are.

We are NOT the center of the universe. We are NOT entitled to have whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want it. We are NOT here to steal as much as we can from the environment, folk pocket books and the world at large.

We are here to leave things better than we have found them.

We are here to be of service to one another.

We are here to love.

We are here to be loved.

We are here to care.

We are here to share.

We are here to hope.

We are here to shine our light to drive out the darkness.

We are here to laugh.

We are here to cry.

We are here to live.

We are here for many, many reasons.

We are here, beloveds.

Since we are here, how about we DO something with the lives we have?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

BBQ cookout: Things are NOT what they seem.

Life keeps handing out baskets of nasty, er, 🍋.

I’m tired of it.

Tired of life being so darned lifery.

Craig suggested a BBQ cookout. I agree. Life is just toooooooooooo short to be cowering under the covers because life is being a big meanie.

Be encouraged. Let’s have a laugh and a cookout:

🍇🍉🥭🥩🥓🍔🥪🥘🍲🫕🥗🧂🍤🥧🍦🍡

Remember, you are not responsible for outcomes. You are not responsible for the actions and outcomes of others.

You are NOT to blame when life has turned things upside down and you have no idea which way is up.

I have declared a moratorium on being about being about it. This is a day to rest. Not wait. Just rest. The rest truly WILL come out in the wash.

In the meantime, we eat!

resting I think,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Yes, we sick and tired of hard. But, ALL things shall, will and do work together for our good. Don’t get mad at me for saying that. God said it. I believe it. That settles it.

In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: My file 🗄 cabinet.

I have been unpacking my file cabinet for the past few days.

My internal cabinet.

The ‘”I’ll get to it later” cabinet where I stored ALL the hard things, troubling things, angering things, extra lifery things I did not have time to deal with, at the time.

Now, jobless, I have nothing but time to unpack, peruse and feel🗄:

Anger.🩻

Anger.🩺

And, more anger.🔬

Dammit!!

*Cassandra angrily goes through an especially angering, humiliating and costly memory 🩸 she had to take the ‘high road’ on as that’s what GOOD stewards and Christians did*

Dammit!!

*Cassandra tosses aside visons of this, that and the other of being dismissed, silenced, passed over, glossed over, gaslit, not chosen and the fifty bajillion ways life was just NOT DAMNED FAIR!!!*

Dammit!!!

*Hearing the commotion, God quietly sat next to Cassandra and handed her memories that were simply too heavy, too hard, too embarrassing, too shameful for her to look at, much less bare the weight of*🩹

*Seeing her sad, both Night and Day decided to be with her as she worked her way through her file cabinet. It was needed, you see. Her cabinet had just grown too big to leave this way. She had thangs to do. Her cabinet MUST be emptied in order for her to move forward*🪣

DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMITTTTTTTTTT!!!

working my way still🧯,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am not strong. Not today. I have been fighting with myself about giving myself a break from beating myself up over things not done, things left unsaid. I am upset about opportunities not taken. Vacations pushed aside so I could take care of a world that now could give two hoots about me and my jobless, broke life.

I am grateful. Now, I have nothing to hide behind. Now, I have nothing but time to face things I had promised myself I would ‘take care of’ years and years ago. No wonder I have been so soul tired lately. So much garbage and baggage locked away.

Beloveds, we were never meant to walk around with years of regrets, undealt memories and situations.

We were meant to leave them at the Cross. It’s partially what Jesus came to do: Set us free. Be there for us. It’s what The Universe is partially here for: help us to walk this earth in VICTORY. Head held up as we live a life of integrity, truth and love. It’s what God is here partially for: to walk WITH us as we choose how we are going to maneuver through the world.

This is a painful time. Yet, a joyous one. I am living. I am growing. I am healing. I am learning about me. I am learning how to extend the grace God has graciously given me, to my fellow man.

I am being given countless opportunities to choose to stand on faith and NOT fear. Ah, beloveds, I chose fear more than I care to admit. NO more.

Yes, I shall experience fear. I choose, now, to fight back. I shant ever, never, nada, nope, forgetaboutit allow fear to run my choices.

I am using this hard to empty myself of ALL things holding me back. I invite you to do the same. Life is short. Don’t leave your file cabinet sitting for too much longer. Relieve yourself of the weight that has been easily besetting you and run the race set before you. Believers will know of what I speak. As for the rest, do the best you can and keep it moving. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: Are you sure?😳

God: Are you sure?🥰

The Universe: Are you sure?🤗

Life: Are you sure?🥊👢

Me: Are you sure?!😳

I am:

Sure.

Certain.

Focused.

I have:

Begun.

Again.

I will:

Try.

Succeed.

Fail.

No matter.

What matters:

I am sure.

certain,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have NO idea what comes next, beloveds. I DO know I am sure. Ah. Aha!

Don’t fear life’s disruptions. Disruptions can lead to awesomely amazing changes. It’s all in how we look at and embrace what happens. What are you DOING with your lemons? I think I shall make some pie with my current crop. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Life kicked me in the hiney.👢

Life: 👢

Me: Ow.

Life: 👢

Me: Ow!

Life: 👢

Me: OW!! 😳😡

Life: 👢

Me: 😭🤬

Life: 👢🥊👢👢🥊🥊👢🤯🤡🥊👢

Day/Night: 🤼‍♀️.  You may want to spend less time wrestling with us, and more time addressing Life kicking your hiney. Not saying, just saying…

Me: K.

Life has been kicking my in the hiney for quite some time. Trying to get my attention. Trying to get me to move. Trying to get me to act in faith. Trying. Trying. Trying.

All the while, beloveds, I have been a trying soul for Life, for God, For The Universe to deal with. I have, had, been getting on my own last nerves.

I have been fighting.

Fighting me.

Fighting with me.

Fighting within me.

The me, with all the dreams, has been fighting with the me who had always been told she never could/would/should have all God, Life and The Universe had been preparing for me since before I was born.

For years, I have been wanting/needing to move forward. Onward. Somewhere!

Yet, I kept repeating lines others have whispered to me for the whole of my life:

“You never will”

“You never can”

“You are not enough”

“You don’t have”

“You won’t ever have”

“You can’t do THAT”

“You will never make it through THIS”

It’s not even that I believed them. It just seemed easier, somehow, to listen to them. Which led me to stop believing. In me. I stopped fighting. For me.

God knew this. Which is why He and The Universe kept sending Life to kick my hiney until I began to fight back.

For me.

With me.

Within me.

Now, beloveds, I fight with all that is within me. Bless His Holy Name.

Ah, God. Thank You for helping me to fight back.

Oh, Universe. Thank You for convincing me I could/can/shall/will.

Ow, Life. Thanks. Geeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

grateful for lessons learned,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short, beloveds. Best get to living it. It’s time to stop allowing yourselves to be ruled by fear instilled by others. By fears fueled by you. By fear coming from not knowing what comes next.

Ah, beloveds. You CAN. You WILL! The ONLY way to find out is to actually get out there and find out. I have. More about that in upcoming posts. Let’s go!!!! Asking for A Friend. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Keep getting in your ten.

Eight.

EIGHT!

Me: I’m tired.

God: You promised you would write TEN pieces for the week. You have done eight.

Me: Only I will know, though.

God: Yes, only you will know. So will your dreams. So shall I.

Me: Geeeeeeeez. When You say it like that…*stomps to get in ten*

keeping my promise to ME,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s necessary to keep your promises to YOU, beloveds. Don’t let lazy stop you. Don’t let unbelief stop you. Don’t let your circumstances keep you from keeping the promises you have made to you.

Okay, have to go now. Another piece is calling me. Good habits can be awfully mean, can’t they?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Uprooted: Go anyway.

It’s time to go.

Somewhere.

Somehow.

Some kind of way.

My heart absolutely REFUSES to stay, in THIS spot, for one more second. Nope, she says it’s time to get out of here. She doesn’t know how. Frankly, she could care less.

My heart could care less about my 55 year old whining, complaining, what if it doesn’t work out self. Ha, my heart says. Let’s go.

So, I go.

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

going even though I have NO idea where/what/when/how,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am excited. I am anxious. I am ready, though. Life is short. I am taking a leap of faith. I am leaping, beloveds. For ME. Pray for me. Leap with me. For YOU. Asking for Your Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Repeat after me: I’m amazing.

Repeat after me:

I’m amazing.

I can do countless things.

I WILL continue to thrive in EVERY element.

I shall NOT give in to callousness, apathy or fear.

I shall TRY. My try SHALL be enough.

I KNOW I am enough. Already. Always.

I’m blessed.

I’m courageous. I keep going no matter how badly I may feel.

I am loving.

I am lovable.

I am altogether lovely.

Let’s go, me!

I got thangs to do!

doing thangs,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, um, so like you have me sooooooooooooooooo fired up, beloveds! What the heckamiah are we still doing here!? Let’s go! We got thangs to do!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Use a bigger cup, Cassandra.

I love, love, love me some coffee!

Yummers!

*hugs self*

So much so, beloveds, I have been scarfing down an inordinate amount.

I have many, many, many oodles of cups and containers to contain such wonderfulment. Ah. Aha!

Here lately, for whatever what in the fresh hell reason(s), I have been CHOOSING to make said wonderfulment in a too small cup. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!

Don’t ask me why. Habit, I guess. One day, I wasn’t feeling my usual tall container and snatched up the smaller cup. That worked, then. It sho nuff ain’t working for me, now. Ack!

Ask me why I have not yet gone back to my larger container and I honestly could not tell you why.

This morning, God tapped me on the shoulder and handed me my larger container. He told me to enlarge my tent AND my container at the same time.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

I guess the moral to the story, beloveds, is to keep growing. Don’t allow something needed, back then, to stop you from growing, in your now.

Ah. Am currently enjoying my larger cup. It suits me.

For now.

Who knows. I may need to go back to the smaller one. The point is to do what is needed, now. Don’t let fear or convenience keep you from moving up, moving forward, moving down, moving out and showing out!

Life is short, beloveds. We got thangs to do, ‘member? There is someone waiting for YOUR dream so they can fulfill theirs. Who knows? You may be what I have been waiting 30 plus years for! Let’s go!

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, all that coffee talk has me thirsty. Who is bringing snacks? I think you know who needs to bring us some of her Texas BBQ! Take care all. You are much too priceless and precious to walk around discouraged and defeated. Let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!