I have been unpacking my file cabinet for the past few days.
My internal cabinet.
The ‘”I’ll get to it later” cabinet where I stored ALL the hard things, troubling things, angering things, extra lifery things I did not have time to deal with, at the time.
Now, jobless, I have nothing but time to unpack, peruse and feel🗄:
Anger.🩻
Anger.🩺
And, more anger.🔬
Dammit!!
*Cassandra angrily goes through an especially angering, humiliating and costly memory 🩸 she had to take the ‘high road’ on as that’s what GOOD stewards and Christians did*
Dammit!!
*Cassandra tosses aside visons of this, that and the other of being dismissed, silenced, passed over, glossed over, gaslit, not chosen and the fifty bajillion ways life was just NOT DAMNED FAIR!!!*
Dammit!!!
*Hearing the commotion, God quietly sat next to Cassandra and handed her memories that were simply too heavy, too hard, too embarrassing, too shameful for her to look at, much less bare the weight of*🩹
*Seeing her sad, both Night and Day decided to be with her as she worked her way through her file cabinet. It was needed, you see. Her cabinet had just grown too big to leave this way. She had thangs to do. Her cabinet MUST be emptied in order for her to move forward*🪣
DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMITTTTTTTTTT!!!
working my way still🧯,
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: I am not strong. Not today. I have been fighting with myself about giving myself a break from beating myself up over things not done, things left unsaid. I am upset about opportunities not taken. Vacations pushed aside so I could take care of a world that now could give two hoots about me and my jobless, broke life.
I am grateful. Now, I have nothing to hide behind. Now, I have nothing but time to face things I had promised myself I would ‘take care of’ years and years ago. No wonder I have been so soul tired lately. So much garbage and baggage locked away.
Beloveds, we were never meant to walk around with years of regrets, undealt memories and situations.
We were meant to leave them at the Cross. It’s partially what Jesus came to do: Set us free. Be there for us. It’s what The Universe is partially here for: help us to walk this earth in VICTORY. Head held up as we live a life of integrity, truth and love. It’s what God is here partially for: to walk WITH us as we choose how we are going to maneuver through the world.
This is a painful time. Yet, a joyous one. I am living. I am growing. I am healing. I am learning about me. I am learning how to extend the grace God has graciously given me, to my fellow man.
I am being given countless opportunities to choose to stand on faith and NOT fear. Ah, beloveds, I chose fear more than I care to admit. NO more.
Yes, I shall experience fear. I choose, now, to fight back. I shant ever, never, nada, nope, forgetaboutit allow fear to run my choices.
I am using this hard to empty myself of ALL things holding me back. I invite you to do the same. Life is short. Don’t leave your file cabinet sitting for too much longer. Relieve yourself of the weight that has been easily besetting you and run the race set before you. Believers will know of what I speak. As for the rest, do the best you can and keep it moving. Asking for A Friend.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
- THE HAND FROM HEAVEN ✋🏾☁️🧻🤣
- COME SIT AT MY TABLE 🪑❤️🩹
- BELOVEDS, YOU CAN HAVE MY FLOWERS. I DON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
- Forgive them, Cassandra, God said to me
- Still In Love
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 