Category: Inspiration

30 years in the making.

30 years in the making.

My dreams.

My hopes.

My frustrations.

30 years in the making.

And more.

30 years in the making.

Desires, seeking to be free of me and fears long held.

Expressions, longing to breathe life into the absolute ridiculous ideas careening around my soul.

Satisfaction, seeking to be sought from accomplishing wishes long buried now waiting to be set free.

Ah, God.

I’m trying.

Why has this making been 30 years in the making?!

I’m ready.

Let me know.

Let me grow.

Let me go.

Let me try.

30 years in the making.

Making me cra cra.

Making me wonder.

Making me.

Ah.

Aha!

You have been making ME!

These past years, beloveds, have been such a teacher. Before, I was pursuing ministry. Before, I was chasing after relationships. Before, I was chasing after career. Before, I was chasing after dreams.

Now, I no longer chase. Now, I no longer pursue. Now, I am learning how to wait. Patiently. Expectantly. Hopefully. Faithfully. Joyfully.

And, no, beloveds, the wait has NOT always been joyful and hopeful. In fact, the wait has often felt like a huge weight. In my way. On my shoulders. Keeping me from DOING dammit!

DOING used to be my main focus. Now, my focus is doing what’s necessary, WHEN it’s necessary. I don’t want to be doing outside the right time. Timing is everything. I don’t want to do before folk are ready. I don’t want to do before my heart is ready.

Doing, for the sake of doing, has been one of the biggest reasons why I burned myself out. I was so used to doing, for doing’s sake, I forgot what the world I was doing in the first place! Yikes! Egads!

I have promised I will do my level best to be and let the doing take care of itself. I am also learning not to judge my doing, or lack thereof, based on other folks do or not do.

We each have our path. We all have our own thangs to do or not do. Best we stop judging ourselves by others and be about being about it for ourselves, eh?

30 years in the making.

I think, beloveds, if I could wait 30 years, I think I can manage a bit more time….lol.

Be encouraged. Don’t regret the time spent pursuing your dreams. The time has been spent, for a reason. Maybe, the reason never was for you. Maybe, beloveds, the reason has been for others, all along.

All we can do is to do, wait, be, try and allow the outcome to be whatever The Universe has chosen for it to be.

My heart has been terribly saddened to see so many folks trampling on the hearts of others to get their ‘needs’ met. My soul is grieved to see folks gleefully taking from others in order to have for themselves. My spirit cries from seeing folk who just don’t understand how precious and priceless others are.

We are NOT the center of the universe. We are NOT entitled to have whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want it. We are NOT here to steal as much as we can from the environment, folk pocket books and the world at large.

We are here to leave things better than we have found them.

We are here to be of service to one another.

We are here to love.

We are here to be loved.

We are here to care.

We are here to share.

We are here to hope.

We are here to shine our light to drive out the darkness.

We are here to laugh.

We are here to cry.

We are here to live.

We are here for many, many reasons.

We are here, beloveds.

Since we are here, how about we DO something with the lives we have?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

It’s not you.

When life turns things on its head.

It’s not you.

When all hell has broken loose simply because you said you were ready for more.

It’s not you.

When folk walk away after you have let them know your boundaries.

It’s not you.

When folk become upset when you express opinions they asked for in the first place.

It’s not you.

When your job, spouse, friend, family, or others fail to recognize how much you have given/ tried,

It’s not you.

When you dreams keep outrunning your try.

It’s not you.

You given you.

You have given your all.

That is enough.

For those who demand more, show them the door.

Celebrate your try. None of us celebrates our try enough. We are too busy chastising ourselves for not being perfect. Phooey with that!

We care. We hope. We love. We dare try. I think this makes us heroes!

not afraid to be Clark Kent,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Cut yourself some slack. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am not strong: Time to feel, Cassandra.

Time to feel, Cassandra.

That’s what God said to me.

NO, I hollered back.

I don’t want to.

Too bad, feels have said to me. They are running around, beloveds, everywhere!

I find them in my sleep. I find them hanging around the coffee pot. I find them in the bathroom. They are in the shower. They have stolen my commas!

My feels are soooooooooooooooooooooo ready, to lament about all the happenings that have befallen me.

I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t know what to do with ME.

Sleep escapes me. Every night.

The next step(s) keeps running up ahead.

Yet, God has been forever silent. Leaving ME to shout liberally and loudly. The silence is just soooooooooooooooooooooooo loud!

I don’t want to feel. Anything. Anytime soon. Anymore.

I am feeling the loss of a job I enjoyed for fourteen and a half years. I’m angry I have not been able to suck it up and go back to work. I am angry I have not been able to trick myself into pulling myself up by my bootstraps so I can keep on going.

I am angry the damned tornado tore up the damned yard!!

I am angry mom is not here to tell me everything is going to be alright!!

I am angry I don’t have a significant other to tell me how significant I am right now. I don’t feel significant!

Fresh hell, beloveds, I am angry. Again! Dammit. Crap. Geeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Just when I think I am okay, I open my door and see all the destruction and start the whole damned angry train all over again!

God, I am angry. Still. Not at You. Just angry. Not because these things have happened to me. Just because they happened at all. To anyone.

Ah, Cassandra. Time to feel.

I am not strong.

weak but here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have been unpacking all this mad so I can enjoy the rest of my day. Don’t allow your feels to keep you held hostage. Feel, process, deal with things then move on with the rest of your day.

It’s okay to be angry with losing that which has meant a lot to you. Who cares, why, eh? Losing sucks. It hurts. When loved ones leave, it hurts. When we leave a job, it hurts. When we lose a relationship, it hurts. When we have to move, it hurts. When we have to give up something, it hurts. The reason(s) why does NOT remove the pain.

Yet, God is there for us as we hurt and heal. Even for non believers. For those who have told God to kick rocks, I pray for you, still. I got you, okay? Don’t judge yourself to harshly. Occasionally, I go off on God about why in the fresh hell He has apparently allowed all manner of foolishness to befall us.

Be encouraged, beloveds. I love you. So does He. Love yourselves, okay? I know this sounds like a ridiculous request. It’s not. There was a time, if you can believe it, when I loved everyone in the world BUT me.

This is why I spend EVERY day praying for each and every person who visits this blog. Whether you join, leave, like or roll your eyes, know you are prayed for. EVERY day. I ask for blessings for you and your family. I ask that the way be made straight for you.

I pray and ask God to show you how. I ask God to give you friends who shall walk with you for the rest of your days. I ask that nothing befalls your precious heart. I ask grace for you. I ask peace for your souls. I ask that God opens your eyes so you can see the truly priceless and person you are.

Mostly, beloveds, I ask that God carry EVERY tear you have ever shared and that He sprinkle them upon your dreams to keep them freshly watered and cared for.

Be encouraged. You are loved and not alone. I promise. As did He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

All this and more.

A wink.

A nod.

A hug.

A hand.

A shoulder.

A heart.

A boot to rear end.

We are all of this and more.

Let’s use all that we are to lift the soul of another.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have been filling 📬 inboxes with love today. Why? I don’t know how many days I have. I am being about being about it. How about you?

In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Whatever happened. Whatever happens.

Whatever happened.

To caring?

Whatever happens.

I shall care for you.

Whatever happened.

To sharing?

Whatever happens.

You can have some of mine.

Whatever happened.

To emphasizing?

Whatever happens.

I shall seek to understand you.

Whatever happened.

Whatever happens.

I am here.

caring for all as best I can,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It saddens me folk have chosen to see different and chosen to see different as detriment. Let’s do better, beloveds. Asking for A Friend. If this touched you, share it with someone. We are all we got but all we need. This world is what WE make it. Let’s make it a beautifully messy tapestry.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

More than.

We are more than, beloveds.

We are more than a job.

We are more than a wallet.

We are more than a womb.

We are more than a protector.

We are more than a builder.

We are more than a carpenter.

We are more than a healer.

We are more than a comforter.

We are more than our try.

We are more than our faith.

We are more than our gender.

We are more than our vote.

We are a person.

We are deserving of love.

We are immeasurably unique.

We are unquestionably worth knowing.

I just wanted to take the time to let someone know he/she/they are valuable. This society dismisses those deemed unworthy because they don’t have a million followers.

I say to hell with all that. All I have to give is me but you can have all my love. I have plenty as God fills me as I empty my all.

Someone needs to hear that they do NOT have to keep paying rent to The Universe to be loved. You are.

Be encouraged.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have felt like a worthless idiot since the tornado. Save Mags, my ask for help was for naught. I feel like an idiot. That said, I am proud of me from reaching out. Be encouraged. God HAS heard you. Even though it appears no one on earth has.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

All I got to give is me.

All I got to give is me.

God said all He needs is me.

I told God all I got ain’t enough for Him.

God said me is more than enough for Him.

All I got to give is me, I said to The Universe.

Good thing, The Universe replied, stating me is all that has ever been asked to be seen.

Life then showed up and asked for what I had.

All I got to give is me, I stated.

Your me is more than plenty, Life exclaimed.

I’m giving me, beloveds.

It’s all I have.

As it turns out, miraculously, I am just what is called for.

So are you.

enough,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Your nothing means something to someone.

I feel like nothing today.

I feel as though my efforts have accomplished nothing.

Nothing I have tried seems to have worked.

Nothing I say has moved a thing it appears to me.

It looks as though ALL my try has done nothing but waste the time of everyone.

Except to God.

All day, He has told me that my nothing means EVERYTHING. To Him. I’m not quite sure I believe Him.

Not today.

My bank account is empty.

My inbox is empty.

My tank is empty.

My phone is silent.

My lonely is awfully loud.

I feel like nothing today.

It’s a good thing our feels are not always accurate.

My try is enough.

I am enough.

I just feel like nothing I have is worth much to most today.

Be encouraged, beloveds.

Your try is enough.

You are enough.

What you perceive to be nothing means EVERYTHING. So do you.

Your nothing means something to someone.

To me.

To God.

You are priceless. You don’t have to do a thing to be loved. Just keep on being you. Be good to you. Keep loving you. The rest will come out in the wash.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are more than what you do. You are more than what you have. There’s only one you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

The Universe called me a liar.

There’s nothing like a natural disaster that can shake some sense into you.

Literally.

Fresh hell.

Before the tornado, I had been lying to myself. I was unhappy at work. Not happy WITH work. Just not happy because I have wanted to move on.

Except, I have been too afraid to move on. I have been afraid I wouldn’t find something else. I was afraid I would not be chosen because of my age, my race, my you can add whatever you want here.

A week ago, I was presented with a choice. No choice really. I could force myself back to work or I could choose my mental health and step away.

I chose my mental health. I stepped away. In stepping away, beloveds, I have set off a war within.

All because The Universe called me a liar. How rude!

I had convinced myself I could remain, at work, and continue to ‘fake it til I make it’. I told myself I could. I told myself I could continue to pretend I could be satisfied with what I was doing.

The Universe said:

Ha!

Liar!

Fraidy cat!

Defiant, I told The Universe to kick rocks. Then, I apologized and went about reclaiming the truth.

I’m tired. I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to move in another direction. I just don’t know which direction to move towards.

I guess WHERE I move is not as important, beloveds, in THAT I move, eh?

I have moved. Now, I wait. I am giving myself a month just to rest and to breathe. A week in and I am ready to run away from home just to get away from this restless me. Ack!

I won’t pretend anxt has not visited me in the past few days. It has. I keep telling my anxt to take two seats and go away from me!

I am on my second cup of coffee. I think I may have a spot of tea. Who wants to join?

asking for A friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Best to stop wasting time lying to ourselves about what we are truly feeling and hoping for. I am thankful I FINALLY made the decision to move. I spent more time miserable, at work then working.

Be encouraged. Move. In any direction. Just move. Your heart will whisper to you where it has been hankering to go. The Universe will let you know if you are lying to It and yourself. Get going, beloveds. You have folk who are waiting to love you. You have friendships to experience. You have boundless joy to run into. You have sooooooooooooooooooo much ahead of you. Your life is NOT over. It’s not.

The hard shall have it’s end. In the meantime, keep looking up. Keep getting out of bed. Keep being good to yourself. Keep showing care to one another. Life is hard. For all of us right now. Yikes. In case no one has told you yet today: I love you. So does He. Jesus says ‘hi’.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Give yourself permission.

Give yourself permission.

Give yourself permission to fail.

Give yourself permission to try.

Give yourself permission to rest.

Give yourself permission to stay.

Give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing.

Give yourself permission to ‘be lazy’.

Give yourself permission to be loud.

Give yourself permission to be silent.

Give yourself permission.

You do NOT have to ALWAYS being doing what you THINK is expected of you. Put down the weight of your own expectations. Put down the weight of the expectations of others.

Give yourself permission to be whatever the world your heart feels the need to BE. Just BE. Folk are so worried about what others may think of them being they forget to just be.

Enough with that!

Kick rocks, expectations. Our expectations are from Him. And, ALL God asks for us to do is to try. That’s it. We do NOT have to be perfect. We do NOT have to walk this earth all dolled up and lovely.

There are times when we feel like running around in sweats and having a bad hair day. Give yourself permission, beloveds, to have a bad hair day! God loves you. Just as you are.

And, if folk in your life can’t love you when you are in scrubs, sweats, shorts, frumpy clothes they are just not the right ones for you.

Kick off those high heels. Put down your bajillion dollar hand bag and go grab a burger at a fast food restaurant or something!

Too hooey with having to have a billion dollar mansion before folk will love you.

And, for the beautiful men and women out there, STOP treating yourselves like trophies! You are NOT! it is NOT your fault God made you beautiful. You are much more, though, tha your outward beauty. STOP allowing folk to parade you around like Barbie and Ken dolls! Yall have much to contribute.

Men, STOP allowing yourselves to be the wallets of the world! Yall are amazing. Yall are deserving to be loved. Give yourself permission to tell a woman to get out of your Porsche if that’s ALL she sees you for! What’s more, you do NOT need to be in a damned Porsche to be valued. There will be plenty of women who will love you for the amazing man that you are. Get to know YOU, beloveds. You have much to share.

Women, good grief, put down the damned Tik Tok and get to know YOU, again. You do NOT have to compete with jillions of Tik Tok folk who are faking it! Stop wasting all your money on stupid organizers and all kinds of junk you are told you need to be happy. Give yourself permission to just be you.

Married folk, STOP listening to a world dumb enough to try and make it a shame for folk to be happily married. Love your husband. Love your wives. Love your kids. Even when everyone is acting like a moron. It’s what families do. We drive one another up ten walls and back.

Christian folk, STOP listening to a world gone crazy who are trying to talk you out of YOUR faith. Keep walking. Give yourself permission to love folk and tell them to kick rocks, without apologies.

Sports starts, STOP listening to dummies who have never picked up a ball or have worked as hard as you have. ENJOY your money. You have earned every dollar. Get your bag!!

Content creators, STOP chasing algorithms! Do YOU! Be YOU! What benefit does it do for you to make a bajillion dollars creating content only for click bait sake?

Young folk, STOP apologizing for being young. Yall are NOT lazy. Yall are NOT entitled. Yall are just smart enough to have recognized the trap us old folk fell into regarding working ourselves to the end of our lives. Give yourself permission to figure out YOU. Give yourself permission to listen to some of us oldies as we have much we can share and teach you. Give yourself permission to pursue excellence. Give yourself permission to learn the value and joy in hard work.

Old folk, STOP working yourselves to death! STOP chasing the ridiculous dream of piling up billions of dollars to make you happy. Look around you! You have ruined many a relationship chasing the dollar bill. Enough already. Put down the plow, pick up some flowers and romance somebody! Give yourself permission to dream. Then, get on up and do.

It’s high time, beloveds, we ALL get some act right and give ourselves permission to start living. Enough of this existing and barely scraping by life tired, exhausted and discouraged.

Okay, I think I have covered everyone. If not, someone else take up the mike and help us all get some act right….lol.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. What in the fresh hell are you waiting for?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!