Well, now…

Hhmm.

Well, now….

*scratches head*

*Cassandra peers at hard wondering what to DO with it*

I have been thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking about how the world to get my dreams to go on ahead and lift off already!

I keep deciding to decide. I just need to start the next phase. Except. I’m afraid. I think. Okay, not so much afraid but wondering. What if I fail spectacularly?

I think I am ready to find out. I think…

*Cassandra peers over the precipice of try wondering if she should just go on ahead and…*

Hey!

No fair!!

*Cassandra peers up at God and pouts dramatically*

Me: Why didja push me off the try cliff?

God: My bad. You appeared to need a bit of a push, er, help.

Me: lol

I have been enjoying trying. I have been enjoying getting up super early to daydream and write. I have been enjoying extra coffee. I have been enjoying yakking to The Universe about what may perchance be possible. I have been enjoying…

Ah.

Aha!

Life is short.

Enjoy it.

Be encouraged.

You got this.

God has got us all.

I love you.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is not promised to us. We have no idea when and what and where. All we can do is the best we can. Embrace your life. Keep chasing down your dreams and enjoy the journey.

In case no one has told you today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Be proud of your try.

I had to do a hard thing.

I did NOT want to face the hard thing.

I contemplated waiting until the last moment.

I made my act right get some act right and did the hard thing.

I am proud of me.

Be proud of your try, beloveds. Stop getting on your case for being in a difficult space. Life happens.

I took care of, um mitigated, a financial Catastrophe. Now, it’s just a disaster. 🀣

I keep telling myself this too shall pass. Sure wish it would hurry on past. Smh.

Anywho, be proud of your try. You are doing your utmost to live your best life. Let that be enough. Remember you ARE enough.

reminding you for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Choose to enjoy the rest of this year. Enjoy it! In case no one has told you today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Tell what if so what?!

Ack.

Good yikes.

Smh.

Due to being ill, I have had to take an inordinate amount of time off, WITHOUT PAY, the last few weeks.

Consequently, I have been avoiding my bank account as if it had the plague.

This morning, I was gently cajoled to check my account.

Whew!!

😳😳πŸ₯ΉπŸ₯ΊπŸ€―πŸ₯΅πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄πŸ˜±πŸ˜­πŸ˜ πŸ˜‘

Whew!!

After I came to, I rushed to The Father’s Lap in 😭 and panic.

God: IΒ  got you. I got your finances.

Me: K.

I had a cup of β˜• and told myself to get some act right. I was super upset I had to use my emergency savings to pay the rent and monthly bills and will need to use the rest to piece together next month’s rent.

I began to focus on the fact of what I was able to do now. I was able to take my focus on what ‘could have been’ if I had not been sick and able to save my money.

I was sick.

I used my savings.

So what?!

Thankfully,Β  I had the savings to use!

In times past, I would have wasted the rest of the week complaining about funds I ‘could have’ had.

Life happens, beloveds. NO need in wasting time over things that have already happened. Mitigate what you can and move on!

The relationship has ended. Enough already! Wish them well and move on.

You didn’t get the promotion. So what?! The interview was great experience for the next opportunity.

You were too afraid to reach out. So what?! Try again!

Enough with having ‘what if’ run the show!

What if you tried and succeeded?!

Ah.

Aha!

Be ruthless with yourself. Do NOT allow yourself the easy way out.

telling what if to shut up already,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Shut up what if!

In case no one has told you today: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Tripping over sad.

I’m glad I took today off.

I keep tripping over sad. Normally, I would be here encouraging folk.

Hhm, I appear to be in here encouraging folk!

Ah.

Aha!

Be encouraged, beloveds. There is nothing wrong with tripping over sad when receiving tough news.

I shall sit with sad and shall see what she shall reveal to me.

Have a wonderful weekend. Life is good. Even when sad comes around.

wondering when this storm shall pass,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Loving in the darkness.

Ah!

*hugs self*

Huh?

Get your mind out of the gutter, beloveds…Smh.

I was simply mooning, quietly, to some rollicking praise music, in the darkness.

Yall have NO idea how much it means, to be able to swoon and sway, in the darkness, WITHOUT fear.

Ah!

You have no idea, what it feels like, to be able to rest, in PEACE, in the darkness, if your life had been turned, upside down, in the darkness.

For some, trauma happened in the darkness. The darkness contained many monsters.

For me, the darkness contained foes a child not ought to have had to fight. Said child turned into a women deathly afraid of the dark.

Time heals. IF we allow it. I did. I healed. I grew.

Now, I enjoy the darkness. I yak, endlessly, to and with God. In the darkness. I know I am not alone.

Now, I am as comfortable, in the darkness as I am in the daytime.

I say this for those who believe they will never see the sun. You will.

I say this for those who think they will never heal.Β  You will.

I say this for those who wonder if their sleep will ever be sweet. It shall be!

Ah, beloveds. It feels sooooooooooooo darned good to be able to love in the darkness. Again.

I don’t know who these words are for. I know they are meant for somebody.

Be encouraged. I started this piece aeons ago. Life, however, got in the way and I had to leave it. Until today. For someone.

I pray God comfort every heart in need of mending.β€οΈβ€πŸ©Ή

Take care of yourselves, beloveds.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Note to That Girl

Dear Younger Me Baby girlDon’t pray away the processingEmbrace the refiner’s fireStay on the Potter’s wheelIt is a temporary painDance in the rainLet the drops bathe over your soulLight a candlerather than curse the darkDevelop a taste for both bitter and sweetAppreciate the prickly thingsThey too have streaks of beautyRise to the occasionChallenge your fearsJump […]

Note to That Girl

Came across this just now. Much needed. Beautiful!

Isn’t it wonderful, beloveds, how a word, given at just the right moment, can heal the soul?

Retraining has been tough. I have spent the ENTIRE week feeling like a non essential idiot. In fact, I have never felt soooooooo inconsequential lately.

Then, a few folk began to poke their way into my comments and β™₯ heart. πŸ₯°. I am moved.

moved,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Be kind: Raised voices.

I found myself raising my voice with four different siblings. For, four different reason. For, four unacceptable reasons.

I issued four different apologies.

I come from a large family. 13 brothers and sisters. Wow, mom and dad you all had a whole lot of kids! When I asked dad why the world he had sooooooooo many chillun, he said:

The radio did not work and the television was broken.

😳

πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ₯°β€

Being in such a large family, in order to be heard, we found ourselves shouting over one another. At time, we talk over one another, still.

I have been working to correct this, in me. I am doing MY work. I no longer use the excuse of this is how we were raised.

We all grow. Leastwise, I am doing my best to grow and love the best way I know how.

I no longer choose to participate in a dialogue where I have to raise my voice, to be heard.

The second, the very instant, you raise your voice, the temperature gets raised. I don’t want to speak to a tender heart, in the heat of anger. I want to calm down, THEN calmly have my say. Yes, I can still speak passionately. Yet, with no malice, intended, or otherwise.

I am about to step on a few toes. I apologize, in advance. Bandaid for boo boos, will follow:

Men use their voices, to intimidate. Yall do men. Because yall have been taught you can have your way over women and children, by raising your voice.

Women, in times past, when they hear a man, raise his voice, often back off and out of the conversation or situations.

Why?

Because, sadly, physical/emotional/sexual abuse often followed. And, even if it didn’t, just the hint is/was enough to silence a woman, a child.

Yet, those silent women and children, were/are simmering, with silent anger of their own.

When women try to point this out, to a man, he immediately becomes defensive and either hollers louder or mansplains himself. Either way, both sides lose out.

That said, women have been dismissed and dismissing their own needs, in need to protect men, they are seething with hidden anger and are taking hidden anger out on their bodies through food, sex with married men, sex with no men, sex as distraction, sex as a weapon, dropping the ball of motherhood to party cuz they have raised them kids alone and all manner of things.

As a society, men and women are each raising his/her voice to the other side with no side hearing the side speaking.

I say all that to say this: Hurt people, hurt people. I no longer choose to inadvertently or purposely hurt another soul because of how I was raised or how I was treated or how this or how that.

How about we, each of us, choose to raise our voices, in unity, in love, in solidarity, in integrity, in truth, in joy, in laughter, in as many ways as we possibly can to defuse anger and deal with the deep hurt, pain and wounds we have and hold inside our hearts?

As for me and mine:

I love you.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

ttnette37@yahoo.com

Note: I find, as I write these words, tears are streaming down my face. Ah. Aha!

https://gofund.me/efbe8c13

Relentless: Forward momentum.

I am not strong.

I am relentless.

I walk.

I run.

I pursue my dreams, relentlessly.

I press forward, towards the high calling.

Of, that, of He, of What, of Who calls me.

I know that as I move, They also move, with and for me.

Forward.

I move.

Not counting steps.

Not worrying about time.

Enjoying EVERY precious, priceless, pause in the receiving and experiencing of my dreams.

I am not strong.

Yet, I am relentless.

I shall never give up on me.

I shall never give up in my dreams.

I pursue.

Relentlessly.

I press on.

I move forward.

I strive.

I strain.

I am not strong.

I am relentless.

Give me my bounty!

Give it here!

The ONLY thing that shall keep me from pursuing is…..NOTHING!

I am not strong.

I am relentless.

Ah, God. Help me make my dreams come true!

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

BreakfastπŸ₯£: Self-care.

Self!

Care!

Back away from the chocolate donuts, Cassandra!

That’s what I told myself as stressful circumstances, stressed, er, stretched me to the point I wanted to stress my way to some chocolate donut eating old ways.

I’m currently getting my act right to act right. I have done more comfort eating then I care to admit.

Last week, I got back to getting up early and preparing breakfast.

Good habits take over when we give them room to. At first, it was tough getting up early again.

I used to get up two hours early. I had to. I liked to arrive to work an hour early. I enjoyed a bit of chillaxing before getting into the work day.

Since working from home, I eventually allowed lazy into talking me out of my one hour chillaxing time.

Wonder of wonders, this led to a bit of the grumps as I gave myself more sleep and less me time. Which just made me tired and grumpy.

I had forgotten how much fun it is to slurp endlessly on β˜• coffee and yakking with God until it’s time to be about being about it.

So much so, beloveds, I have found myself doing so on my days off. I have popped out of bed, even earlier!

Slurping β˜• coffee.

Yakking with God.

Yakking with you.

Today is my day off. Yet, I beat the sun up this morning. What shall I do with this day?

I hear a good nap calling.πŸ₯°πŸ€—πŸ˜‚

Take care of yourselves, beloveds. You only have one you. Get up and make πŸ₯£ breakfast. Restart your good habits. Dust off old dreams. Get on out there and live. Asking for A Friend.

doing thangs with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Breathe.

I am getting training from the training which was just not enough training!

Geeeezzzzz!

Friday, I was ready to cry. I felt soooooooooooo stupid!

At 55, my brain wants to know what in the name of all that is holy is it being forced to stretch this way?!!!!

I told myself to take a breath.

Breathe, I said!

I took a breath.

I felt better.

Okay, I didn’t feel better. But, I didn’t quit either. There is that.

It will get easier. As I learn. As I work. As I ALLOW myself to stay in this uncomfortable place and space.

Too many folk walk away from the uncomfortable places and spaces. They don’t understand their miracles and dreams are living in those uncomfortable places and spaces.

It takes a ton of prayer, try, faith, laughter, resilience and a billion other things to remain in the uncomfortable places and spaces.

Hang in there, beloveds. Breathe! Then, remain in the uncomfortable places and spaces until you learn and grow your way out of them.

Let’s go! We got thangs to do.

doing thangs,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:βš’οΈπŸ’―πŸ’ͺπŸšͺπŸ†πŸ™πŸ₯°πŸ˜³πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ“£πŸ₯‡

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!