I am not strong: Finally.

Finally.

I am content just being…

Me.

I am content just being.

I am content.

I am.

I am?

I AM!

Ah.

Aha!

I wish someone had told me a looooooong time ago that I did not HAVE to be strong ALL the time.

I am not always strong. I am not always weak either. There are days where I am somewhere, there, in between strong and what in the fresh hell is this?!

That’s okay. The world doesn’t want you to know it’s okay to NOT be:

Perfect.

Packaged.

Proper.

It’s okay to be:

Scattered.

Shattered.

Shaken.

Finally, I KNOW I am amazing just by being.

Keep on being you, beloveds. ALL of you. Especially the boring parts. I find folks boring immensely interesting and satisfying.

Stop judging yourself by the world’s standards. You know when your act right is not acting right. You know how you feel about this or that.

Be encouraged. I say these two words EVERY day. I say them to myself. It’s easy to feel lost and alone in such a large world. The world is smaller than you think.

being weak with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I am not strong. Thank God I don’t have to be. Neither do you.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU

I told God my dreams were too heavy.

I told God my dreams were too heavy.

He said I know.

He told me to lean upon His Shoulder. That way I could carry them.

I told God I was too tired to continue to carry these dreams unfulfilled.

He said I know and for me to keep trusting.

I told God these dreams are too heavy and not leading me anywhere.

He said stop for a while and catch my breath.

I leaned.

I trusted.

I rested.

I told God my dreams are a bit lighter now.

He said I know and for me to keep going.

going/growing,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: This piece is for anyone who is tired and discouraged from holding onto a dream for seemingly too long.

In a way I am thankful my dreams have not come true yet. My writing is different. I am different. I had to learn to keep fighting for myself. I had to learn how to give up on myself. I had to learn to believe in my gift. I had to learn to believe in me no matter what.

I had to learn the only validation I needed which from myself. I had to learn to love myself whether anyone loved me or not.

I had to learn that there was joy even in the midst of sadness and pain and trying and trials and discomfort and being uncomfortable and not knowing what to do.

I had to learn my voice and thoughts were important. Even if only viewed by me. I had to learn my weird was okay. I had to learn that it was okay to not be ok until I became okay.

I had to learn how to stand gracefully. I had to learn how to fall foolishly. I had to learn that I was love whether I stood or I fell.

I had to learn…

Ah.

Aha!

Keep knocking on the door to your dreams beloveds. You don’t know who or what is standing on the other side!

In the meantime, KNOW that you are growing. That you are changing lives. One at a time. Just your being here has changed my life. You help me stay focused. You help me keep a laughing. You help me know that I am loved and not alone.

Be encouraged. You can and you will. Keep putting your work out there. Keep putting yourself out there. Your one day may be today!

I hear a cup of coffee calling me. Care to join me? Let us laugh and visit a while. God will take care of our dreams for a while…

Remember why.

Remember why…

You started.

Why would you give up now?

Remember why you loved them…

Why would you give up on them now?

Remember why you dreamed…

Why would you give up on your dreams now?

Don’t give up.

Not now.

When can you give up?

Don’t EVER give up on love, on your dreams, on YOU, beloveds.

Yes, you may need to walk away from relationship(s) that are not safe or do not serve you or the other person(s).

Don’t walk away because things are:

Hard.

Frustrating.

Boring. Smh

Trying.

Stagnant.

Growth goes through many stages. Some are hard. Some are boring. Some are stagnant. Some are trying. Some are tedious.

So what?

Life is not easy. Doesn’t mean it’s okay to quit and to give up on things. Folks seem to give up much too easily.

Remember why. It helps with the long journey. I have wanted to tell my dream to kick rocks sooooooooooooooooooo many times. Why do I hang on? Because I remember why I dreamed, in the first place. I have a place to get to. As do you. Let’s get to getting where we were meant to go, shall we?

going/growing with you,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. You can do this. You will. And, if not, you will have made something amazingly awesome with your life and relationships.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

Real talk: Take the time.

I wanted chicken strips.

I did NOT want to take the time to preheat the air fryer.

I tossed in aforementioned chicken strips into the aforementioned and cold airfryer. Smh.

You know what had happened…*sigh*.

The chicken strips were NOT my usual crispy.

I was crispy!

Until…*sigh*…Yikes! and Egads! reminded me I had gotten with lazy and decided not to preheat the air fryer.

Real talk, beloveds. Do NOT get with lazy and take the time to do the things that need done in the time it will take to get them crispy.

Sheesh, Cassandra. Get it together. Speaking of which, I have yet another tale to tell. brb.

fixing to tell it,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: You are loved and not alone. I am in too much of a hurry to…hahahahaha. Kidding:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU

Perspective.

Long time, no see.

Long time, no writing for me.

Life, has, well, been life, here lately.

So much so that I got down, from the world merry go round, so I could FINALLY, see what I thought about life, about MY life apart from what I have been told by parents, churches, the world, real friends, false friends, and myself.

Perspective. I need it. I NEED it. I don’t know where it has gone. I am tired of doing what I am doing at work.

I love my job. It’s just not enough anymore. I can no longer hide amongst the comfort and safety of my job.

I no longer want to be safe. I want to be out there doing doing ridiculous writing things. Those ridiculous writing things don’t pay the bills. I imagine every creative person feels the same way.

Fresh hell. I don’t want to have to grow up. I want to stay a child dreaming childish things like I can change the entire world with my words.

Perspective. I’m trying to tell the adult in me to keep being an adult and stop thinking like a child.

Meaning…. Give up on your dreams at last and shut up.

I don’t know how.

I don’t know how to give up on these dreams.

I don’t know how to make these dreams come true.

Crap.

Around the same argument I go. 30 years plus and counting.

I wish my quitter would quit.

My heart told me to shut up and keep going.

I told my heart to kick rocks. My heart said no.

Crap.

I told The Universe to get someone else. The Universe said no.

Crap.

What do I do with me now?!

??,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. Crap.

You are loved. You are NOT alone. Keep on being… YOU

Say so.

When it hurts.

Say so.

When you don’t know.

Say so.

When you hurt.

Say so.

When you don’t understand.

Say so.

When you don’t want to.

Say so.

When you want to.

Say so.

When the answer is yes.

Say so.

When the answer is no.

Say so.

When you are sad.

Say so.

When you are thankful.

Say so.

When you are discouraged.

Say so.

When you are being loved and appreciate the loving.

Say so.

When you feel left out.

Say so.

When you are ready to leave.

Say so.

When you want them to stay.

Say so.

When you need to hear the words.

Say so.

When you don’t have words to say.

Say so.

When you don’t know why.

Say so.

I am:

Tired.

Lonely.

Grateful.

Hungry.

Hopeful.

saying so,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I did not want to do today. I did today. Last night, I told sis I did not want to do tomorrow. Then, I told myself ‘so what’. I’m thankful/glad I pushed past my sad/grief. This will always be a tough time, I suspect. Losing mom on Christmas Morning 2016 still feels like yesterday. STILL. Still, I rise, as Maya Angelou told us all to.

If you are going through, just now….*shrug*. Keep going through. This time SHALL pass. The Universe/God/Life is interested in how YOU will be AFTER the tests and trials have passed. The tests and trials are of no consequence. In the height of them, they feel as though they are insurmountable and shall never pass. Ha!

Hang in there, beloveds. Stay in the fight. Yes, the fight gets exhausting. Remain. Strive. Grow. Move. Live. Whether you feel like it or not. Tell your feels to shut it!

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU.

I find myself…

I find myself…

Afraid.

Alone.

Annoyed.

Annoyed with being afraid and annoyed.

Fresh hell.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have NEVER needed to hear these words more:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

God told me no.

Me: Take these dreams away from me. I don’t know what to do with them.

God: NO.

Me: Give up on me then.

God: God, no!

Me: Take away these desires then. They are too hard to carry unfulfilled.

God: NO!

Me: Fresh heckamiah…

God: Hang in there.

Me: NO!

God: Hold on.

Me: No!!

God: Be encouraged.

Me: Crap! How can I argue with that?!

holding/hanging on,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: When you reeaaallllllly want to quit, NNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!

Okay, let’s keep going. We got thangs to do. Life is tough right now. So what?! Keep going. Embrace the hard. I am fixing to have a cup of coffee and talk to mom in my heart. I miss her. Don’t forget to love on you.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU

Differences.

I was watching my cooking shows and the man got to making beef tongue.

Ew, I thought.

Then, I thought:

Well, I DO enjoy a good chicken breast.

Hmm.

Thinking this, I thought his joy in beef tongue was not so ewwwy.

Pork shoulder.

Leg of lamb.

Chicken thighs.

Hhmm.

Maybe I should become a vegetarian.

Ears of corn.

Yikes!

Hmmm.

Maybe I should eat tater tots the rest of my life.

Marveling at differences,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

I find it terribly sad when folks hide within their own thoughts and tribes and viewpoints. What makes the world so fascinating is the differences we all have and can share. Different is not bad. Just different…*shrug*.

Speaking of which:

Keep on being…YOU

You are NOT alone.

You are loved.

Forgive me, beloveds. Posting my usual, in reverse order, is going to drive my twin up ten ways. Delicious. She is screaming as we read this.πŸ˜†πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

You matter.

I enjoy looking at this saying. It makes me smile. I like to share it, from time to time.

You matter.

Yea, I am talking to YOU!

Oftentimes, folk look around and think others are more worthy of time/attention/love.

You are equally as deserving.

I just wanted you to hear it today:

You matter.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Nuff said.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: My heart just won’t leave me alone. Keeps saying there are a bajillion folk who don’t feel and know they are loved. I love you. Love you back, okay? Asking for A Friend.