Category: Music

Beat it to the sunrise.

Fear has been trying to rear its ugly head.

Reality has been encouraging me to give in to the fear.

Doubt has been lying to me about the unknown.

The Universe has been silent/observant.

All the while, I question God. All the while I question myself. All the while, I wonder if I am going to make it. Meanwhile, all is silent. Ack. Ow!

Still, I absolutely REFUSE to allow fear to manifest itself into my day, into my choices, into my heart. I beat it to the sunrise. I arise. I work on me. I am proactive. I am probative. I question my EVERY action to ensure I am walking by FAITH, in LOVE, carrying hope and laughter around with me.

Beloveds, I hate these last months have happened as they have. I hate the tornado ripped through and tore up everything in sight. I hate I am living a new normal. No, hate is NOT the word. Rather, challenging is the word I now choose.

Words are powerful. I am doing my utmost to get the word hate out of my vernacular. Words are so easy to say. We say sooooooooooooooooooo many negative things when it comes to our lives:

“I hate when I do this”.

“I could never do that”.

We have NO idea what we are capable of. Why, then, do we so easily set limitations on our try? I’m trying not to.

November has come calling. I have NO idea where January’s rent is coming from. Ah, God. I hate, er, find this situation challenging…lol.

It has been super interesting living in the MOMENT. Before, I would be flipping out by now. I would be carrying on about how I am going to make it.

I have NO idea how. I just know Who. I just know I will make it. Some kind of way. I shall continue to encourage and love folk, along the way. Some may love me back. Most probably won’t. I’m no longer lamenting those who don’t or won’t.

Life is short. I REFUSE to live anymore if it blanketed and ruled by fear.

My birthday is tomorrow. I am looking forward to what the day might bring. I am looking forward to what the future might mean.

I’m looking…

FORWARD.

UP.

WITHIN.

I got this. God has me. How much more secure could I ever be?

fearing not,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep standing on business. Keep believing in YOU.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

When you feel helpless.

When you feel helpless.

Help yourself.

When you feel helpless.

Help someone else.

When you feel helpless.

Ask for help.

When we are in a weakened state, we often feel:

Helpless.

Hopeless.

Useless.

Of course, these are lies. It’s easy to believe the lie when our mountain looks soooooooooo big and unmovable.

When my mountain seems the most daunting, I reach out to someone to let them know they are loved and not alone.

Then, I DO something. Even if just a small something. Through this constant hard I am learning I can’t afford to lay down on fear or anxiety. The MOMENT I get to feeling anxious is the moment I leap out of bed.

I have been leaping out of bed well before dawn, these days…*shrug*.

If nothing else, beloveds, this hard may be encouraging others to keep on trying. I didn’t want to, today. So what? I got thangs to do. As do you.

My 56th birthday is Sunday. Wow. The majority of my ‘friends’ have long since taken off as I am sure they think I may ask them for money. I haven’t. I wouldn’t. It sure would have been nice to have that emotional support. I am supporting me as much as possible.

I am also leaning on and leaning into the love of my fam. I used to hide my hurt and be there for them. No more.

Anywho, I stopped ’round to give someone some of the support I could use.

If anyone would like to send some birthday cheer, feel free to email me: ttnette37@yahoo.com. I won’t put you on blast and would only reply back once with a thank you unless you would like to be an email pal.😁🥰

Take care of your heart and enjoy your weekend.

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have never felt so helpless in my life. Yet, am content. Odd, eh? I am looking forward to seeing how The Universe is going to help me out of my financial mess…lol

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Be the reason why.

Be the reason why someone smiles.

Don’t be the reason for another’s struggle.

Be the reason someone laughs.

Don’t be the reason someone cries.

Be the reason a burden is lifted.

Don’t be the reason for the heavy load.

Life is tough for us all, beloveds. Determine to be one who is determined to be the reason that light shines in the darkness.

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: There is so much going on it can be easy to believe our efforts will be in vain. EVERY try matters. EVERY word, spoken in love, matters. EVERY step towards light and life matters.

You can do much more than you think. Love folk. Especially the hard-headed ones. Yep, love even the folk who speak foolishness. In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

If this piece encouraged you, share it with someone please/thanks.

Ow!: Dealing with the unforeseen blow.

Ow.

Ow!

What a week this is turning out to be.

Wednesday, I sat through an interview that turned out to be a scam to drain my bank account…*sigh*.

Late Wednesday night, through the wee hours of morning, I had to sit through another really frightening storm system. Seeing all that red, on the weather radar, brought back memories best left forgotten. I called my big sis to see if she would talk with me as I waited for the storms to pass.

The storm passed after leaving tornado damage to a town a few rows over from me…*sigh*. Seeing the drone images of flipped over campers, homes with roofs ripped off, brought back feelings best left forgotten…*sigh*.

I told myself I was okay. I told myself everything would be alright. I told myself I would find a job. Told myself these storms would pass. Told sis I was really okay. Really, I was. I told myself I was okay. Really, I was.

Thursday, I rose. I made coffee. I did my self care. I prepared to write. I couldn’t write. I prepared to call my big brother, to see how he was and spend time regaling him with me being okay about coming up, on the end of the year and being job free still. I couldn’t call him. I prepared to call my twin to let her know how wonderful I was doing with waiting on things to turn around. I was all set to be super inspiring, uplifting and capable. I couldn’t call her.

Instead, I found myself taking to my bed. All day. All evening. All night. I tried to watch Thursday Night Football. I could not watch the game. I took back to my bed. I turned off the phone.

Day tapped me on the shoulder. Super early. Asked if I was ready to rise. I was NOT ready. I wanted to hide another day. I did not hide. I found myself rising. Again. I made coffee. I attempt to write. Again.

I don’t know what the future holds. I DO know Who holds my future. I wait. Patiently subdued.


Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep getting up, beloveds. The unforeseen blows tend to hit the hardest. They hurt the most. It’s okay to say Ow and take a day, as needed. Then, get up. Rise. Move FORWARD. Asking for A Friend.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Sometimes, I would like to extinguish the flame inside.

Sometimes, I would like to extinguish the flame inside.

Sometimes, I want to run from this desire to be more and to do more. Sometimes, I wish the dreams inside would fade so I can lead an ordinary life and not filled so pulled to extraordinary way.

Sometimes, I wish I did not want more. Sometimes, I wish I did not want at all.

Sometimes, I wish my try wouldn’t try so hard. Sometimes, I wonder why I try at all.

Ah, sometimes, I’d like to walk away. Oh, sometimes, I want to run.

Only sometimes.

wondering what’s next,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I find myself unsettled. I wish I knew how to get back my familiar…sometimes.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Love YOU.

Love YOU.

Don’t wait for others to come along.

Be good to YOU.

Don’t hang your head because you may be alone.

Love on you. Speak kindly to your heart. EVERY day. Don’t let one day go by without your tending to the garden of your heart, beloveds. Get the weeds of apathy, doubt and despair out of there!

There are days when I am not feeling too lovable. Especially when I am feeling every second of my 55, now almost 56 years. Then, I just feel like a cranky, old damned lady!..*stomps foot*.

During those days I try to be especially kind to my terribly cranky and old self…lol.

Love YOU, beloveds. There is only ONE of YOU. Every time I think of that, it fills me with awe. There is only ONE me. In all the land. Out of billions of peeps, there is only ONE me. A good thing, eh?…..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

I have been under the weather for a good week or so. Am feeling almost like myself. So, I jumped up, put on a kettle of water, for coffee, fired up the laptop, and determined to get my 10 pieces done.

I forgot I was sad that I still have no idea what the future holds for me. I’m used to knowing, darn it all! I’m used to controlling my days based upon work hours, taking care of the entirety of the world and generally being on call ‘in case’ I may be needed for some such a thing. SMH.

Now, I make sure to get in my me time. I have set, and have kept, boundaries around me and my time. Time is precious. I let folk know when I am available. I let folk know when not TO CALL ME AND INTERRUPT MY WATCHING OF NFL FOOTBALL. YALL KNOW I DO THE REDZONE CHANNEL EVERY SUNDAY…lol.

I have also gotten used to turning OFF the phone. Period. NO YouTube surfing. NO show watching. And, I have been turning my phone back into a phone! I think folk spend entirely too much time scrolling! Geeeeeeeeez, yall, put your phones away and enjoy your family and friends already!…..*Cassandra sheepishly crawls down from the soapbox she has apparently clammered on*.

N-E-Waze, I just stopped ’round to remind you, beloveds, to love YOU!

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I have spent hours and hours praying for each and every person who comes along. I even pray for those who shall never find these words. Be encouraged. If you are currently going through it, know you WILL get through your it. Be sure to take some laughter with you, today and share it with your neighbors. Speaking of sharing, I just made a pot of coffee. Who wants some?

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Stretched: Love ALL of you.

This has been a challenging time. The Universe is stretching me. God is asking me to stretch beyond my borders. Life is stretching me further and further from the person I thought I was.

Yet, I remain the same. Yet, stretched. Yet, changed. Yet, not. Odd. Yet not. Smh.

I have been asked to open my heart wider. To show more of my inner goofness. Why? My goofy side is a big part of who I am. Who I choose to be.

Growing up, I was ALWAYS admonished to ‘be serious’. I was too blasted loud. I learned to temper myself. I learned to dim my light so as not to make folk ‘uncomfortable’ with my being unapologetically me.

I’m done living my life that way. I do NOT apologize for my passion. I do NOT apologize for my loud voice. It’s how I was made. I AM passionate. The more excited I get, the louder I get.

Growing up, adults made me feel ashamed of my outward expressions of joy, goofiness or whatever I was feeling.

God never made me feel that way. He encouraged me to be me. He cajoled me to get my stupid on. He does to this day.

He laughs at my Bitmoji’s. Which makes ME laugh at them. At first, I hesitated sharing them with folk. The old shame returned. I wondered if folk would think I was being especially stupid/goofy and would dismiss my words.

My words, in part, stem from the foolishness inside. So, I take the leap of faith and share ALL of me. Some will think it cute. Others will think me a fool. That’s okay. I shall continue to love them. I shall continue to love ME. ALL of me:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Love ALL of you, beloveds. Allow yourself to be stretched so you can receive all the love and joy meant for your tender and precious heart.

being unapologetically me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep on being you. Your you is fantastic. God says so. I think so. Embrace you in all of your inner foolishness…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Heart ❤ check

How is YOUR heart?

I’m just checking on YOU. Most folk don’t get checked on, on the regular. I just stopped by, beloveds, to let you know I care and that I was thinking of and praying for you.

Are you being good to YOU? Have you gotten in some me time? Have you taken a moment to breathe?

Have you celebrated your try? Have you given yourself permission to feel how YOU  feel and not how you think you should be feeling?

Be sure to be good to YOU, today. Know that you are a special person. Remember that you are:

Worthy.

Worthwhile.

Worth it!

Take a chance. Take ONE step out of your comfort zone. Then, take another one.

Take care of your spectacular heart!

asking for A Friend,
Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I love you. So does He.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

For the first time in my life: BEING me.

I am moved. By my own words.

I read ‘Moved’ for the first time and was moved.

I rarely reread my pieces. They are for you. Here lately, I have been needing them for ME.

Lately, I have been feeling as though my words are nothing more than blah blah blah. The same old. Same old. I don’t know why I have been feeling this way.

It may well be because I have been feeling as though my life has been nothing more than blah blah blah as I toiled away for a world who seemingly could care less about this mess called me.

I read those words and thought ‘how beautiful it is to see someone care so much for others’. It hit me that person was me. I was moved. I find myself moved still.

I’m being me unapologetically. I am being me fully. I’m being me freely. I know longer concern myself with who will receive me. I receive myself. I love myself. I share me. with the world who seemingly does not care about me. No matter. I choose to care. Still. Always. Everyday. Every single one of them.

I had my first job interview today. I don’t know what the outcome will be. I do know that I am content. I have spent my days encouraging folk. I have spent my days loving people. I spent these days giving of myself. I can live with that. I can live with being me. Still. Always. Everyday. Every single one of them.

A natural disaster came upon me and turned my world upside down. I have been using this time. to turn my heart right side up.

I have no idea what life has in store for me. I know what I have in store for life. I plan on squeezing every moment. out of every minute. I plan on seizing every second. To let folks know how much they are loved and that they are not alone. I plan on utilizing every hour. To grow closer to God and my fellow man. This I promise me. This I share with you.

Beloveds, continue to be you. Lift up your head. See the beautiful soul called you. I see you. God sees you. Life sees you. The Universe sees you. There is no one like you and all of the Earth. How can you not be priceless and precious?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: It’s OK to be you. It is. Enjoy being you. ALL of you.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

For the first time in my life: Seeing ME.

My life is forever changed.

Forever.

My life has been changed, forever, by what I was finally able to see, in me.

I saw ME.

I SAW ME!!

I looked inside and saw a beautiful heart. I didn’t see the hateful/ hurtful rhetoric that I was too loud to be heard, too ugly to be wanted, too black to be seen, too old to be valued, too much of a woman to be cherished, too poor to be recognized.

I looked inside and saw a tender soul whose ONLY goals are to love God, with all her heart. And, to love her fellow men/women with all her heart.

I looked inside and saw a giving spirit who wants nothing more than unity, love and laughter for all.

For the first time, beloveds, I looked inside and saw someone worthy of love. For me. Not just because I give love. Simply because my life matters. My thoughts matter. My voice matters.

For 55 years, I have struggled to fully love and embrace me in my entirety. This is partially and particularly why I am so vigilant to reach out to folk EVERY day to let them HEAR they are loved and that they are NOT alone.

Society is not always kind to folk who look like me. Folk like me are considered ‘ugly’. Folk like me are not asked out to parties and dances as they grew up. Folk like me ate alone in school.

Folk like me grew to fold within themselves and lead lives of loneliness. Folk like me learned how to distract themselves with hard work and hide behind a jolly laughter.

It has taken me years to learn HOW to love myself. Through the tender love of God, I found my way towards loving me.

Still, it has been hard to fully EMBRACE me. Even I had begun to shy away from my loudness, from my exuberance, from my eternal love and optimism towards people.

It has been so odd to say that living through the tornado, losing my job, running through my savings, having forever friends abandon me, has forced me to fight for and embrace ME.

I had to fight with those feelings of worthlessness head on. I had to grapple with the fact that I felt worthless because of a shrinking bank account. I had to muster the courage that I felt unworthy due to no longer having a job.

I found myself in a war with me:

Me: You are worthless.

Me: No I’m not.

Me: You have failed God.

Me: No I haven’t.

Me: No one will ever love you.

Me: Yes they will. If not, I shall love me. I love you.

Me:

I’m ready to go back to work now. I can enjoy work and not have to use work to validate my existence. I’m valuable simply because I was born. That will be a nice change.

I am enjoying relationships more. I no longer have to worry about. pleasing others with what I say or do. I’m just me. Love me or leave me alone. I will be good, either way.

This piece was for me. I hope someone has been encouraged by it. I feel a cup of coffee calling my name. Who wants to join me?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I see you…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!