Me: Can I be honest?
God: Yes.
Me: I mean REEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLY promise I won’t get to hell for being honest, honest?
God: Yes.
Me: I’m having a hard time with hard. I’m having a realllly hard time waiting for YOU. I know You promised to be with me during hard but You have been awfully quiet. Your Silence is awfully loud, God. Just saying.
God: I understand.
Me: Do You? It doesn’t FEEL like it. It doesn’t LOOK like it. I am simply living by MY faith in YOU.
God: Exactly. Wait for it, beloved.
Me: Ah. Aha!
God: When I am the most silent, your heart speaks the loudest.
Me: I know! I can’t get her to….hhm. I think I see what You mean! I am forever trying to control how my heart needs to be acting or doing. I need to trust her more and just let her BE. Me. I’m afraid to be me.
God: Why?
Me: Because, my me is soooooooooooooooo, well, ME. I can’t find another 55 year old who does this life like I do.
God: Okay, beloved, there is only one you. This was by design.
Me: Why does my design feel sooooooooo inadequate?
God: Inadequate to whom, beloved?
Me: Ah. Aha!
God: Exactly. Keep going. Even when you don’t understand. Especially when you don’t understand. I am here. I keep My Promises. Will you keep YOURS?
Me: I will.
God: That’s all I ask.
Me: K.
Can I be honest, beloveds? It has been terribly difficult to stay the course. My age, my lack of resources, my this, my that and every other thing is laughing all up in my face.
Today, I had to drag myself out of bed. I called my twin. Told her I did NOT know HOW I would do work. today. She told me to do work today.
I told her I did NOT know HOW I would be able to keep on keeping on. She told me to keep on keeping on.
I told myself God told me His Grace was sufficient for me. Whew! Grace where ARE you?!!
I got up.
I started work.
I started enjoying work.
Be encouraged, beloveds. If you are in a terribly difficult spot, get to rejoicing! Your victory IS at hand. If not, fear/doubt and all their friends would not be on such a rampage to get YOU to give up on YOU and your dreams.
Hold fast, beloveds. Oftentimes, your dreams are not being held up because of anything you have done or not done. Your dreams, at times, are being held up because God is doing work in and for someone else.
Now, I don’t know why this hard has had to be THIS hard. I just know hard ain’t nothing but a tool we use to keep us sharp, focused and fresh.
Be encouraged. Don’t let anything keep your joy. Turn on some music. Step out into some fresh air. Get on up, beloveds. We got thangs to do.
Encourage someone. Life is tough for us all. We got this. God has us all. In case no one has told you today: I love me some you. So does He.
Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Okay, so the whole piece was a note. Geeeeeeeeeez.
One step.
One step.
One step.
You are loved.
You are NOT alone.
Keep on being…YOU!
