Category: Poetry

Take your eyes off hard: Objects in mirror are farther away than they appear.

Every since mom passed, I have been running around like the scarecrow, in The Wizard of Oz. Afraid, of my own shadow. Afraid, of what to do, next. Afraid, of what to do, now.

Afraid. Ack!

I’m no longer afraid to admit to being afraid, so there is that. It was only after finding the courage, to say ‘I am not strong’ that I found the courage to admit to having lived a life full of fear.

Not for others. Just me. I could fight, and did, valiantly, for everyone on earth, except me. What on earth is that????????????!

Get it together, Cassandra, The Universe said to me. I listened. I got it together. For ME, this time.

It’s amazing what happens when one decides NOT to focus on the what ifs, of life. Instead, choosing to focus on the why nots?

Why not?

Why NOT, me?

Why not, ME?

Why not, I ask 55?

Maybe, perchance, perhaps, I may stumble upon dreams, once imagined, never imagined, unimaginable?

Could this be?

Could this actually BE?

In the here?

In my now?

MY now?

Not something I have read about.

Ah, Cassandra. Do you have the guts to try?

No.

So what!?

I will.

Do what?

Beats me.

*shrug*.

God and Life know and They ain’t tellin’.

Yeppers, I was most efficient, beloveds, taking on the full weight of the world. I heaved everyone else’s rocks/buckets and filled them. For them. Exhausted, I had little, to nothing, to spare for me.

So, my rocks, stayed, at the bottom of the hill. And, my bucket(s), stayed, empty.

Ack! Yikes! Egads!

betting on me,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: I told hard to shut up, this morning. Rather, I told my feels to shut up. Life was being hard. So what? I had been so focused on how hard life was being, I forgot to just be. I forgot to keep on keeping on. I forgot to be about being about it.

All I saw, beloveds, all I FELT was the hard. Which, made me exhausted. Too exhausted, I told myself, to keep my act right acting right.

This morning, I found myself enjoying my job. I forgot about system issues. I forgot about troublesome life issues. I forgot the hard. I remembered to embrace my day. ALL of it!.

Life is short, beloveds. Don’t let the hard discourage you. Hard is your bestie. Hard keeps you focused. Hard keeps you trying. Keep going. You CAN. You SHALL. You already have. Simply by trying. Still.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Building on hope: Mom, I think I’m ready. Part I.

I awoke…

Hopeful.

I awoke…

Ready.

I awoke…

Hmmm?

I awoke!

It feels like I have been living a waking nightmare. Terrified, of the present. Fearful, of the future.

I don’t know why. Before, I was content to keep on keeping on. Before, I reached 55, I was perfectly satisfied with being satisfied and waiting for my dreams to arrive.

I don’t know what in the fresh hell has gotten into 55! 55 keeps running around. Stamping, snorting and wailing about how short time is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I know. I know, I keep telling 55. Be patient. Let me get things together.

No!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

55 is about to drive me up ten walls. I don’t know what to DO with this stranger, 55, me, Cassandra. ME!

Where did this ME come from?! She is:

Terrifying.

Unafraid.

Ready to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Wait, I say.

Wait!

I am not ready!

So what?!!

55 keeps shouting, ‘so what’ in my ears. Waking me, in the midnight hour(s).

Go way, I say.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We got thangs to do, 55 shouts at me.

I don’t know what to DO with her. She is running around making plans. She is packing up and getting ready to live her dream of being near the ocean. She cares not one whit that she knows not where or how or why or what. She is just ready to goooooooooooo!!

Fresh hell, Universe, what do I DO with her? What do I do with ME, now? I can scarcely sit still. My comfort zone no longer suits. No longer fits this me. THIS ME!!!!

Ah, God, what do I DO WITH ME NOW?

asking for a friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: If this piece, and others, appear to be half finished…they are. I am creating each piece, my life, in real time. I wish I had complete answers. I am learning it’s okay to NOT have the answers, in full. Not just yet. If ever. Ah, I see I am leaving out commas, on purpose. To let myself know that it IS okay to create new rules for me. Whew! Have to leave a comma, or two, sprinkled else the lungs won’t do their lungery things.

Be encouraged. It’s time for us to launch out. On HOPE, this time. Not, fear. Not, doubt. Not, foreboding. The unknown is simply unknown. Let us take an adventure, shall we? There is no telling who we may meet. We have NO idea where we shall end up. Ah!…*delicious shiver*.

Let’s go, eh? We have spent enough time in the shallows, haven’t we? Let’s find some others to take with. Don’t forget to bring some snacks! I shall make my world famous Double Chocolate Chip Muffins! I may, or may not, however, share…hehe…

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Go big or stay home, Cassandra.

I have often heard the saying go big or go home. I have always taken this to mean dream and strive big or don’t waste the time.

I must admit, sadly to my way of thinking now, that I have generally chosen the safer/safest route.

Why?

I was always told not to touch the hot stove.

Don’t go there!!!!!!

Dont try THAT!!!!!!!

Why on earth would you want to experience such and such!!!!!!!!!!!?

I ended up choosing other folks safe path for me. For, my life.

Yikes!

It has only been since God told me to tell The Universe what I wanted that I have been opened up to thoughts I had been too afraid to think, let alone ASK FOR?!…*gasp*.

I thought God mad, initially. I mean, why in the wide world would GOD, God, I’m telling ya, tell me to ask The Universe for what I needed or wanted? Of course, what dumbsky would be dumb enough to think or call God mad?!

Anywho, after secretly thinking/calling God mad, just a smidge, I sat down and penned my letter to The Universe. It’s somewhere in the archives. Repost if you find it wouldja someone? Asking for A Friend…lol.

N-E-Waze, doing something sooooooooooooooooooooo ridiculous actually opened me up the the ridiculous possibilities life could, perhaps, maybe gimme.

Ah.

Aha!

God just needed for me to pry my limited mind(set) so I could begin to SEE, to BELIEVE, to RECEIVE, the infinite possibilities of….

Possibilities?

Hmmm.

Possible?

Hmm!

Before 55 showed up to scare the fresh hell out of me and my comfort zone, I was much too comfortable living in my limited space. Yes, I grew cramped. Yes, my heart longed for, no demanded, I get out there and live!

Still, I remained still. That is, until my stillness could stand my stillness, no more.

Stillness: No more, Cassandra! Get out there and LIVE! Go now.

Me: I don’t know how.

Stillness: So what? Go anyway!

Me: I don’t know where to go.

Stillness: Stop lying, Cassandra! You have ALWAYS known where you want to go. You are just afraid of what it may take to get there. You are simply terrified you may never make it there. You are chastened to think you just may not have what it takes to get there. What are you waiting for, Cassandra?! Get gon!

Me: I…I…hhmm.

*Cassandra peers over the precipice and…*

to be continued,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: How does this story end? How in the fresh hell would I know, beloveds! Help. Ack!

*Cassandra peers over the precipice and…*

Live, beloveds. Perhaps you, too, find yourself at your very own precipice. Shall we take the leap together? I will if you will. Okay, I am fixing to whether anyone else goes or not. Here goes nothing…

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

I am wondering…

Soooooooooo, I was asleep. Sleeping 😴 soundly.

Awoke, suddenly. Suddenly, I tell you!!😳

What woke me, beloveds, out of a dead sleep?!…*gasp*.

My ridiculous mind wondering and wandering and wondering about something completely irrelevant and stupid in the middle of the night when I have to work in a few hours!…*stamps foot*.

So, now I am awake, in the middle of the night…*sigh*…wondering how you are, beloveds.

I am wondering:

How are you?

Is your heart okay?

Are you still hanging in there?

I am wondering how I can:

Make you laugh.

Annoy your try enough to get you to try.

Make your lazy mad enough to do something.

I am wondering if you know:

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Whilst wondering and wandering, I decided to wake up and just check on you:

How are you?

Is your heart okay?

Are you still hanging in there?

asking for A Friend,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note:🤗

Have a great Fri-yay!

It’s Friday.

Fri-yay!

Prepare to enjoy the weekend, beloveds.

You have done your best. Time to do some you. It’s imperative to get some time to rest up and get refilled.

Power through then rest. You have earned it.

Pay up, Universe! Give us our bounties!

thankful,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Be encouraged. You are loved and you are not alone.

Share your heart.

Your heart is precious.

Yes, YOURS.

You.

YOU!

You are used to hiding your heart, eh, beloveds?

You are used to being the one giving. You are used to being of service. That’s great. Needed. Yet, YOU are needed. Yea, you. Just YOU. Not your gifts, only.

Share YOUR heart.

What do YOU dream of?

Where would YOU like to go?

Get to dreaming. Get to sharing.

YOUR heart.

You matter.

Yea, beloveds, you do.

Why do I harp on this so much? Because, it’s easy to feel unseen in such a huge world. It’s easy to wonder if we really and for truly matter. We do. Each of us. ALL of us.

I find it terribly sad how many folks are running around pretending to be someone they are not. Why? Because they think their them is not enough. It is! They are! You are!

I wish I could run screaming, through the streets, letting folk know they matter. I guess I could but I don’t feel like getting locked up somewhere. Who wants to see an old coot like me running around hollering? Okay, so I do said hollering in my apartment, so there is that…lol.

Share your heart, beloveds. Don’t fret about folks taking advantage of you. It’s the way of the world. There will ALWAYS be folk who will try to take advantage. Dismiss them and keep it moving. Stop locking your heart away because of some dummies who had no clue the priceless treasure held!

Okay, enough. Off with you. Get on our there and share your heart.

sharing my heart with whosoever will,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Life is short. Live it. Stop surviving life. Life is to be embraced and enjoyed. For a while, I had been so focused on enduring the hard, I had begun to forget my why. I did a reset, had an extra cup of coffee, gave myself more love, then hit the streets to LIVE.

Be encouraged. Give hard a cup of coffee then keep it moving. We have things to do.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

Here I am. Again.

Here I am.

Again.

Chasing my dreams.

Again.

Running from disappointment.

Again.

Running into challenges.

Again.

Here I am.

AGAIN!

Facing my fears.

Again.

Facing the sun.

Again.

Facing forward.

Again.

HERE I AM, WORLD.

AGAIN!

DEAL WITH ME, WORLD!

I’m NOT going anywhere.

Here I am.

Again.

being about being about it,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Keep being about being about it. Making diamonds takes effort. Effort. More effort. Rinse. Repeat.

Most fools, er, folks, are waiting for the world to come and toss diamonds, beneath their feet. We know the secret. WE make diamonds as we try. We are adding gold threads, within our hearts, as we try. Ah. Aha!

Keep going.

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!

Heart check ❤️ Thursday.

I have lived an entire year in this first month of the year!

I could end the piece right there.😳

I have warm my knuckles out banging on the door of my dreams. I’ve worn out my boots trying to kick down the 🚪 door!

I am learning how to rest. I am learning that I have no idea how to rest half the time. I guess learning is the point, eh?

I’m trying my best to be good to me while I am being good to others. I feel I have not done that well. I have found that I have been trying to find comfort in…* shrug*

Comfort has been hard to find lately. Lately, I have been wondering what the point is to keep pointing out to folk to keep believing.

Who am I? I know as soon as I start asking this, I tell my feels to shut up. It’s just discouragement who is trying to get me to focus on the disappointment. I tell both to kick rocks.

To be truthful, beloveds, I am weary of kicking rocks. I want to be skipping rocks, on a lake. I want to be drinking ☕ coffee from a glassed in balcony.

Crap.

Ack.

*Cassandra tells her dreams to shut up already and goes to find a cup of blasted coffee so she can write some uplifting pieces to encourage the world all whilst ready to tell the wide world to kick rocks!*😳🥊😭🗝🚪

Hhmm.

Oh, yea, I was supposed to be checking on YOUR heart, wasn’t I? My bad.

How is your heart? Be honest. No need in tall tales. God knows. Be encouraged. Keep going. You CAN. You WILL.

trying through trying times,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

One step.

One step.

One step.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being… YOU!

Remember your joy(your why).

I enjoy my job.

I enjoy telling jokes. Especially corny ones.

It brings me joy.

I spend my workday, howling, falling out of my seat, yukking it up with this one and that.

Joyful.

Joyous.

Yiippppppeeeee!

Or, I did. Here lately, I have had to scrape my way around work. Yea, eventually I would talk myself into my joke telling. After a bit, I would smile, deep inside. Eventually, I would forget about hard and laugh for the rest of the day.

Yesterday, I REMEMBERED that I took joy, in my job. I REMEMBERED. In remembering, my heart began to rejoice. Causing me to stop focusing on the hard. I focused, on the joy. I remembered how much fun work was.

It is something how shifting perspective can change the entirety of the day. Wow. Who knew?

Joy, renewed, these past few days have flown by. Simply flown! I had been dragging myself around. Tired. Exhausted. Tired of being exhausted. Now, today, having remembered joy, I find myself:

Renewed.

Joyful.

Hopeful.

Yet, again.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo thankful that we get to CHOOSE joy, beloveds, whenever we choose. We do NOT have to wait on circumstances, to change. We do NOT have to wait on others, to change. We do NOT have to wait, for someone(s), to change us.

All we have to do is to remember our joy, remember our why.

WHY, beloveds, do you do what you do? Remember how much joy it used to bring to you? You CAN renew your joy, whenever you wish. How fantastic is that??!

You all are my why, beloveds. I remembered you. Remembered how much joy it brings me encouraging folk, on the daily. I remembered how much I rejoiced over stupid/dumb things I could share that perhaps may could bring a smile, to your face. I remembered each and every one of you, beloveds, and joyously thought of a ridiculous joke I could share. Like this one:

Rose are Red.

Sand is whatever color it chooses to be.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

How ridiculous was that?! It DID make you smile, though, right? If not, I shall think of another:

Knock knock.

Whose there?

How the world should I know?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

OMG!!

Be encouraged.

Life is short.

Remember your joy(your why).

remembering my why,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Okay, so you were supposed to be gone by now living your bestest life. Smh. Scat.

You are loved.

You are NOT alone.

Keep on being…YOU!

What love looks like to me.

I was tired. Life was being tiresome again.

Sorry life.

I called my sis. Yakked a bit. We said our goodnight. Ah. Love.

I had a final cup of ☕ coffee. Content. Ah, love.

I sat. Still. Thinking of a mom I missed dearly. Aha, love.

I lay in bed 🛏. Comfy. Contemplating. Dreaming of dreams that may come true, by morning light. Oh, love.

I woke. Stretched. Readied for a day not ready for me. Yes, love.

That’s what love looks like to me…

Today.

As for tomorrow?

Beats me, beloveds. I am too busy loving, today. Today. While I have breath. While I still have a say in today.

Take care. Be encouraged. Be sure and pass out some water balloons, er, love, to the newbies. And, in case she is a foot, pop an old-bie or two. Must play fair, eh, Britta?

loving,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Note: Don’t let the battles of life keep you from living and loving. Life is short. What does love look like to you today?

Remember you are loved and not alone.