“I’m tired, God. Let my actions be my prayer today.”
My actual prayer, this morning.
I woke super tired. I was super tired from yesterday’s try. I think I over tried.
I wanted to see results. I saw no results.
I NEEDED to hear from God. God was silent. He was there. Silent. Waiting for ME to do MY part. To give MY effort.
I gave my effort. I waited. Tired.
This morning, even day felt sorry for me. Day, in consultation with lazy and later, gave me permission to rest today.
I told day that today and I had thangs to do. So, I got up, five hours past my normal time. Still, I rose.
I told God I was tired of living on this razor’s edge of not knowing what this financial day will bring.
Truth be told, beloveds, finances, or lack thereof, does NOT determine how are day shall be.
I had grown absolutely miserable before I had to give up my job. And, it wasn’t the job that had me miserable. I was miserable because I wasn’t 100% investing in making my dreams come true.
Yea, I was taking wobbly steps. But, I had been walking in hidden skepticism and self doubt. I didn’t know that I had the chops to face the constant criticism that comes with putting oneself 100% out there.
I put myself out there 100% in this blog. I took the leap and put myself, my dreams, my hopes, my heart 100% out there in all of my life.
The results have been underwhelming for everyone but my fam and my couple legit friends.
All else dismiss me. They don’t know me or my heart. ALL I can do is to keep presenting my heart EVERY day. Results be damned.
It takes courage to do so. I cried, like a baby, the other day as my efforts, my heart, appeared to be dismissed.
I am THANKFUL for those tears. I am GRATEFUL for the rain that watered my dreams that day.
After my THREE cries, I examined my “failure”. I turned it this way. I shook it. Hard. I peered at it that way. I pondered. I considered.
Ah.
Aha!
Suddenly, Wisdom showed with The Lord and began to point out where I had succeeded. They laughed with me and showed me where I could have added a bit more.
They joked with me and let me know it will NEVER be about the actual event. The IMPORTANT thing is the TRY.
Yes. Then be okay with the results, They said. I will.
The necessary thing is the KNOWLEDGE gained from the try.
Did I learn? I did. Then celebrate wisdom gained. I shall.
The crucial thing is our PERSPECTIVE we take from what we think has been dismissal of our efforts.
Did folk not like you or did they simply not respond in the manner you hoped?
Even if folk did not/do not care for me, for my try, I can take comfort in the fact that I DID try. I will try again.
I just stopped by to encourage someone. Starting with me.
Be encouraged. Try. Put yourself out there. Our say will come. Our day will come. In the meantime, go make someone else’s day!
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: You CAN. You WILL. I’ll keep saying these things EVERY day. Until you believe me. Until you believe in you. Then, I will say it again…
Rather, to me, my voice sounds tired. A real problem when I use my voice for a living.
Since last year’s tornado, I have felt soul tired. Only someone who has been soul tired will know what I mean.
A tired, from a blow soooooooooooooo devastating, it takes one’s breath away!
I have experienced many a blow in my 56 years. The tornado was the last straw. Theeeeeeee last of many straws. Ah, God…
I’m working THROUGH the tired. I don’t know where it ends. I don’t know if there will ever be an end to it.
What if THIS voice is the ONLY voice I will have moving forward?!😳🌪
I hope not. In the meantime, I must use the voice I have NOW. Muted though she may now be. She is STILL me.
A wounded me?
Perhaps.
A resilient me?
You damn betcha!
Today, I speak. Shakily. Tiredly. Unapologetically.
I have been through some thangs. Perhaps, beloveds, you shall find your strength 💪 listening to my tired voice. Oh, I hope.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Keep on working through the tired. It won’t always feel hard. Okay, it may but do it anyway. Keep working your way through your goals. I am having too much fun to worry about how hard things are today. I may think of that tomorrow. In the meantime, I am enjoying my day. All of it.
I choose to be my own hero. I will rescue myself. I will stand up for myself. I will fight for myself.
I will put in the work. I will not sit around waiting for someone else to do things for me. I will do the things that I can do for myself.
I will work until I succeed. I will pursue until I have conquered. I am the champion of my life.
putting in champion’s work, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Put in the work as the champion that you are. Champions win. They also fail. Yet, champions understand this is simply a part of life. Push through the hard. Get to the other side. This was meant to be easy. Let’s go!
Beloveds, ask me WHY my dreams keep waking me up at 4:00 o’clock in the morning?!
All week. Every day. 4:00 o’clock in the morning. I don’t know if the universe is testing me or poking fun at me. either way, good Egads!
And every morning I have been forced to make a choice. I can go back to bed. Or I can work on my dreams. I choose to work on my dreams.
I have spent too much of my life choosing a former when it came to my dreams. Of course I would get up and rush to work and help pursue the dreams of others without question.
I am flipping the script. I am writing a new chapter. I am going to finish this book of mine. this dream of mine. I will. if I am the only one to read it this damn book is going to be written!
Get up. it’s time. You have things to do. You have dreams to fulfill. You have lives to impact. You have your own life to impact. Get up and go. Don’t wait.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: We are so much more than we have been given ourselves credit for. We have tried many, many, many, many things. Let’s try making our dreams come true, shall we? Take one step. Just one. Then take another.
I’m fighting for YOUR dreams, beloveds. I have committed this day to yours.
My dreams seem just too heavy. So, I have set them down for the day. I told my try to rest. I got this. I’m going to give my try over to cheering on others today.
I was mad at my dreams last night. My dreams are NOT paying the bills. I need bills paid. I am doing my utmost to not allow desperation to overtake me and my dreams.
It’s okay to rest, beloveds. You just can’t quit. Not today. Not on the first of never. Not even on the second of we can do this later.
Go! Fight!!
Use your frustration to help you find another way. Make a new plan. Tweak the old one. Just keep doing SOMETHING.
With resignation. Almost, with me. I say almost because I ALMOST allowed resignation to have my dreams.
Disappointment was loud. Hope was being awfully timid. Patience stood by waiting on MY response.
God/Life/The Universe refused to get involved. This was MY fight. These were MY dreams. These dreams were mine to attend to, to fight for, to nurture, to champion, to relentlessly pursue.
Last night, I truly did seriously consider tossing my dreams aside. I told myself I would start looking for regular work on Monday. On Monday, beloveds, I was going to start living a life of quiet desperation.
To hell with that!!!😡🎯
I just stopped by to shake somebody. Dammit, we have quit on our dreams enough, already!
Enough!
Don’t you DARE give yourself permission to dismiss you and your dreams. They matter. You matter.
Flame out. Then, get back in the fight. I mean it. We have too blasted many thangs to do, beloveds. Our dreams may be wrapped up in each other’s dreams!
What if your dreams mixed up in mine? Your dreams are much too important for me to give up.
My words may hold your key. Your key may open my door. Ah, beloveds, keep going. Even when it’s especially hard right now.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: We CAN. We WILL. We have to. If you can’t have your dream today, go help someone else reach theirs.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 