Note: We have done enough running, beloveds, don’tcha think? How about we be about that life and kick some hind end, of our own? We can do so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Let’s go!
The outcome of the game does NOT define you. The score doesn’t make you a winner.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Too often, beloveds, we use the score to determine if we are winning, in life, or not. The score, more often than not, has very precious little with whether we are winning or not.
It depends on your meaning of ‘winning’. What does winning look like to you?
Right now, I am winning. Not in the bank account. Not in the work area. Not in the grieving area.
So, where the world, you may ask, am I winning?
I woke up this morning.
I woke up the morning before that.
I woke up the morning before that.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Right now, beloveds, ALL my energy is going towards simply getting up, making a cup of coffee, making lemonade, lemon meringue, lemon tarts, lemon pudding, and a million different concoctions from all of these blasted lemons that life continues to hand me. Holy Smokes!
I am finding my way. Just a smidge. My good habits truly have been keeping me in good stead. My good habits would NOT allow me to hide beneath a pile of comforters and solitude.
My good habits made me:
Put on the coffee.
Pick up my blue screwdriver.
Hold a terribly offkey concert to any and all unfortunates within earshot.
Yes, my heart wobbles. Yea, I have no idea if grief will stroll behind me and give me a hug.
Still, I rejoice. Still, I sing. Badly. Lustily. Full, of life. Why? Good habits? Cuz Life says so?
Cuz, I say so.
What of you?
Enjoy your life. Stop taking score. Do your best. You are going to come out on top. You are going to finish last. So what? Which outcome means more? Be satisfied you entered the arena and played.
Let’s continue to be about being about it.
I’m getting enough pieces done to get through the rest of the month. I have to go back to work next week. If I can. I’m going to give it my best effort(s). I am hoping the panic attacks won’t return. Goodness and gravy panic attacks are NO fun.
I am being better to myself. I am cutting myself more slack. In the past, I would have blamed myself for even having panic attacks. I would have lectured myself. I would have told myself to get a grip. I would have admonished myself.
Now, I tell myself it’s okay. I tell myself I WILL be okay. Some kind of way. In the meantime, I am STILL a worthwhile person panicked, tired, grief-stricken and all. This, too, shall pass. I am doing my utmost to stay me in the midst of all this what in the fresh hell.
Be encouraged. Enjoy your day. Me and my blue screwdriver have been lighting up the living room with wails, er, song, for the past little while. I sure do feel sorry for the neighbors…smh.
In case no one has told you today: I love you. So does He. Have an amazing rest of today.
The outcome of the game does NOT define you. The score doesn’t make you a loser.
Nuff said. Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: Too often, beloveds, we judge ourselves by the score. If the numbers don’t add up, we MUST be losers, right?
Of course not. Life is a series of tests. Some, we pass. Many others, we fail. Does that make US failures? Course not.
We are much too hard on ourselves, aren’t we? When will we learn to cut ourselves just the tiniest bit of slack?
We are doing the best we can. I am doing my utmost to let my try be enough. It has to be. It’s all I have. All I can do, is all I can do. It’s ALL I’ve got. I can live with that.
Let your best effort be your best effort. Then, let the outcome play out as it will. It’s going to, anywho. Why spend your life all twisted up about what did happen, what didn’t happen, what should have happened? The happened has already happened. Keep it moving.
That’s what I am telling myself. It’s true. No need in wasting time on happenings that have ALREADY happened. I have done much too much of THAT. Smh. Don’t judge me…lol.
Be encouraged. You ARE doing your best, aren’t you? If not, make corrections and keep it moving. Asking for A Friend…
Note: Beloveds, don’t set yourself up to need the validation of the world. The world uses your need, for validation, to take as much FROM you as it can.
The world is not here to give to you. The world is out to feed itself. This is why God cautions us to not concern ourselves with chasing money and other things that do not last.
Now, I’m not saying not to pursue prosperity where you can find it. Just saying life is much too short, much too important to put all your efforts into trying to please a world that cares very little, if at all, about you and yours.
Still, life is what we make it. I am doing my best to put as much love, into the world, as I can. I am hopeful my love will touch some.
Remember: You are worthy. You are worth it. You are worthwhile.
Note: Beloveds, no one knows your efforts. No one knows what you have gone through, just to make it THIS far. Getting THIS far has been a miracle, hasn’t it, beloveds?
Don’t concern yourself with what the world thinks and says about your effort. As long as you have done your best, let your best effort be enough. The outcome is never on you.
When you SHOULD be resting, tell should to shut up.
Should ALWAYS has something to say.
Should, however, is forever getting you to do things you never wanted to, did not intend to do, wasn’t even considering doing.
Should brings nothing but guilt, shame, and ultimately fatigue with it.
If you have decided to rest, rest. If you have chosen to be still, be still. If you have considered and believe it’s time to let it go, let it go.
Should oft times comes from the expectations of others. Yet, they have not considered. Don’t let THEIR judgements and expectations force you into a corner of shoulds.
Do as you please. Do when you are ready. I can’t tell you how many lectures I have gotten on how I should grieve the loss of my twin.
Only another twin can understand what being a twin is like. Only another twin can truly speak to where I am. Sure wish I had one to talk to. I think I may reach out on Tiktok or somewhere to find one who understands.
Be encouraged.
asking for A Friend, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for.
As usual, he gets beat up most of the time and then comes back at the end.
I feel like Rocky, I have been getting pounded lately.
Ow!
Still, I fight on.
Why? Because, God whispered something to me the other day. He said that He knew THIS would happen way back then. So, I can do THIS now.
Ah.
Aha!
I don’t want to do THIS, beloveds. I don’t want to live through THIS. THIS is just too damned hard. Crapola. Heckamiah Jeremiah!
I’m giving it my all. Still, beloveds, I don’t know HOW to get over THIS mountain. I don’t know HOW to do THIS, without mom, without sis.
Beloveds, how in the fresh hell do I DO my THIS?
How?
I can’t even use anger to get through THIS. Life won’t allow it. God reminds me trying to get through THIS using anger, will do nothing but allow anger to choke off all the love, joy, peace, laughter and life still waiting for me.
Holy Toledo.
Ah, God, how do I get through THIS.
The ONE thing that gives me hope is the knowledge that God KNEW THIS time was waiting for me. He has been waiting for me. Right HERE. Right NOW. Waiting, right here, when I thought He had ran off and left me. He had simply ran up ahead to lay down as many pillows as He could get His Hands on.
All around I see nothing but hard. Yet, in the midst of the hard, I see His Hand Made Pillows. Stitched with His Love. Sewn, carefully, by His Shaky Hands. Bathed, with His Tears.
Beloveds, I just stopped by to encouraged someone. Starting with me. I’m not telling you to pretend your hard is not breaking you. It is. It is revealing the diamond, the gold, the precious resilience buried deep within you.
Now, I don’t know, beloveds, why the hard has to be THIS hard. I DO know the hard can be overcome.
Keep going. Keep moving FORWARD. You are NOT alone. You never have been. I love me some you. As does He.
praying for us all, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: There is so much more for us, beloveds. How do I know? Cuz, we still here!
I know it feels as though you have lost too much to continue. You have not. You won’t find out this is true if you quit now. One step.
*Cassandra turns from the mirror and continues to bet on her try*…
willing to lose, Cassandra
#YourLifeMattersToMe
Note: This may seem odd to some…
I’m no longer afraid to lose. I spent ALL of 2024 and half of 2025 terrified of losing. Afraid of losing the little I had. Petrified of losing the small bit of comfort I had.
Fighting THROUGH grief has, at least, taught me to SEE loss for what it truly is: A loss. Simple as that.
Losing does NOT mean that I am lost. I’ve just lost my breath. I’ve just lost my footing. Those things CAN be regained.
The main reason I share my struggles is in the hope that someone, somewhere can see that they are NOT alone. That they CAN get out of bed. That they CAN find joy in the midst of trials.
Be encouraged. 2026 has just started. Let’s make it a good one.
Why Can't I Be Loud?! 